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  1. No lie- a plant on our deck smoldered enough to melt through the pot it was in, and set our house on fire about ten years ago. Completely destroyed the front of our house.

  2. I mean, I am notorious for killing plants, even the "unkillable" ones (those "air plants" that only need a spritz of water every few weeks or whatever, killed three of 'em) but even I have never had a plant self immolate and try to take me with it. Damn, dude.

  3. "On a ceiling, on a porsche I littered, sad, and you said, 'I wanna leave Bennigans'" has always really resonated with me. I mean, who hasn't wanted to leave Bennigans?

  4. I have only seen this since covid, but people will line up for a drive through all the way out onto the main road.. just a dead stop with their blinker on on the busiest road in my city. Insanity.

  5. There are like, 8 Dunkin Donuts in my town but there is always the one that has the line wrapped around the building and into the street. Psssh, imagine wasting 30 minutes of your life just to have your order right the first time and not have your bagel burnt (I just toast mine at work).

  6. I looked her up because I was curious to see if her look was supposed to be a character or something, like Miranda Sings. She’s confirmed that she does her makeup that way to be different (whether she’s being silly and really does it to draw people in or not, idk; it doesn’t seem that way), she’s aware that people think it’s cringy/funny/awful, and she doesn’t care because she’s happy with herself. If only we could all have that kind of harmless confidence!

  7. A single cat turd that got flung out of the box when the cat tried to cover it. It's a metaphor for Shapiro's general ideologies.

  8. Dammit, ya beat me to it. I was going to say “A turd Ben Shapiro’s latest portrait.”

  9. We invited the two strippers, JFK, and Stalin. This implies there are two strippers, JFK, Stalin.

  10. That's crazy! A good friend of mine had just gotten married and had their first child. They just bought a house and everything falling into place for them.

  11. I admittedly only know the details you chose to share, but it seems like you didn’t know - and quite likely he didn’t know - that he had a blockage in the blood supply to his heart. The buildup to a heart attack usually happens over time, and though the culmination of this happened after he worked on your home, it was just one of many events leading up to that blockage ultimately killing him. I think you know this, though; guilt is such a strange emotion that it sometimes sucks the logic out of a situation and skews one’s perception of reality.

  12. I'm already sick with the flu, i think it just developed into pneumonia watching this

  13. Yeah, these are the same scholars that won’t watch the NFL because some players took a knee.

  14. Cave. Warm. Hiding. But I'd be terrified of an accident.

  15. I have two hairless cats. The rule in my home is check everything that a cat could possibly squeeze itself into before powering on/sitting on/moving said items. Especially if it provides some sort of warmth. There seems to have been a resurgence this past Christmas of moms making those chunky arm-knitted blankets, and by January 1, I found myself in possession of two of them. Or rather, my two Russian potato goblins have become the owners of those blankets, much to the dismay of my 10 year old daughter. I almost sat down on my blanket the day after I received it because I was so busy dodging a child on a hover board speeding through the house, I forgot my own house rule!

  16. I recommend buying pet heating pads! Pretty cheap. It may help discourage them from seeking out other sources of heat. Mine loves hers.

  17. Oh I have several, the K&H brand ones that are activated by pressure seem to be the favorites. One heating pad per cat plus one extra (just like litter boxes) is pretty much a requirement for the proper care of hairless cats. I also like the SnuggleSafe pet heating pad that you microwave and it stays warm for 8 hours, but even under bedding it is apparently too hard for their fragile little buttocks; they’ll sit next to it, but not on top of it (it doesn’t get terribly warm where the heat is uncomfortable, so I’m assuming the material is too hard).

  18. I don’t know, I think for me, she’s second to that girl who was putting on lipstick and going around kissing the backs of guys’ shirts at a bar. But it’s close. Just needs a little more of the “I think I’m fucking hilarious” expression.

  19. May 22nd is a very specific date. Also, how could this happen because Biden was definitely being arrested and removed from office somewhere between May 2nd and 5th?

  20. I don’t understand how they’ve not learned to be more general from past predictions on specific dates not coming to fruition. Just kidding, it’s plain old stupidity.

  21. It’s refreshing that someone’s actually complaining about seeing evidence that a man has a cocknballs, if I’m being honest. Usually it’s women getting shit on for gasp letting the outline of our breasts or the slightest hint of cleavage show, or having pants that show the shape of our buttocks. Hell, some people can’t even handle seeing our shoulders or (oh no) a strap that is helping a bit of fabric to contain our breasts.

  22. I like the other commenter who said their family tradition was to say whoever got the bayleaf would get good luck coming their way. That way it's something to be happy about. I love this tradition.

  23. Where the hell does this "post birth abortion" theory come from? I keep hearing whackos screech about it without providing concrete examples.

  24. I don’t know but does that mean that someone could have a 128th trimester abortion? Asking for my mom.

  25. Balenciaga has been doing the Derelicte thing really well lately. I must’ve clicked on one of their ads in disbelief, because now I get those targeted ads constantly.

  26. Frank was gone for all of 3 hours to be neutered. The dogs missed him as much as I did!

  27. I was hoping you’d tell us why he was gone. Not like you owe us an explanation or anything but I’m a nosy busybody.

  28. He's not sick. He's somehow got more energy now and wasn't even groggy from the anaesthetic! There's no bringing Frank down 😆

  29. Go Frank! My Fluffy was like that. Charmed the hell out of all the ladies at the spay/neuter clinic, also.

  30. It's not unheard of that cats can at times miss the litter box when they do their business. I've known cats to do it seemingly in protest if they decided the litter box wasn't clean enough, so if it's been a while since you cleaned the litter box you can probably note it as a complaint. It can also be an issue with really old cats, they might not feel strong enough to climb in to the box, so they do the next best thing.

  31. The cat could’ve also kicked the poop out by accident. Mine have been known to do that if they’re interrupted by a noise or absolutely nothing I can see at just the “right” time.

  32. Mine is sporadic. He owes a few thousand in arrears; our daughter is supposed to get about $600 per month plus half of medical copays and extracurricular activities, but it’s hard enough to get him to pay even half of the $600 sometimes so I’ve not bothered with the extra stuff. I have a very good job, though money is sometimes a bit tight with our daughter in dance classes at two different schools costing $300 a month, not counting costumes, shoes, competition fees, and hotels, but we’re okay for the most part.

  33. It's possible to have a minor stroke and not realise. You really should go to a Dr to confirm.

  34. That happened to my grandmother. She was over our house on a Sunday and said “I think I might have had a stroke yesterday because I feel a bit weak on one side.” She had, in fact, suffered a minor stroke.

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