HavingAGoatTime_1620


























  1. They've definitely got a strong trauma history involving the bathroom. Give them privacy and explain that you will not disrupt that right to privacy except in an emergency. Straight up asking them to reveal their trauma will never work.

  2. Respect her "No" or you will basically undo and confuse what you are trying to teach her. I would also get her used to hearing "no" from others, not intentionally withholding affection, but modeling what that means so she understands. I would also model enthusiastic consent with an excited "Yes! I would love a hug, thank you!" etc.

  3. "Love and Logic in the Classroom", "How to Talk So Kids/Teens Will Listen and How to Listen so Kids?Teens Will Talk" (there's both a kids and a teens version depending on what grades you're aiming to teach.

  4. Sounds very much like autism spectrum disorder or what used to be known as Asberger's syndrome. I wish you all the best. I admire that you like her personality or quirks but please recognize her humanity and have her evaluated. She needs to be successful, not just entertain.

  5. Defending myself was "talking back" and I got in trouble for saying anything AND not saying anything, making eye contact AND not making eye contact. The gaslighting was ninja level.

  6. I completely relate to this. I don't want to be triggered into recycling old patterns because abuse is all I ever knew as a child and I don't want my nParents to attempt to take advantage of my emotional vulnerability in seeing their grandkids.

  7. I understand being frustrated but saying "if I had any I wouldn't give it to you" is also quite rude imo

  8. I never ask a child why they did something. You need to set and hold firm boundaries and parents need to support you giving consequences for physical aggression. It's important that you nip this in the bud quickly while they're younger because it will only have more dire consequences as they get older and can seriously injure each other. I once worked for a family that allowed their children to be aggressive with each other and I quit when they told me it was fine that their children were getting injured. (I also reported them to CPS.)

  9. ok thank you, and if you don’t ask why they did something what do you do instead? i only ask the child why because i want to address what he is feeling and why he felt the need to do that to correct the behaviour

  10. Logical consequences. When is the hitting occurring? Consider what events come before the behavior. I understand your point and it's valid but more often than not children have no idea why they do stuff. The frontal lobe isn't developed enough to explain reasons behind decision making.

  11. Yeah that's ridiculous if they're working from home that should be in a designated space away from you and NK so that you can do the job you were hired to do. They're wanting daycare perks without paying for it. I never agree to transport a child anywhere without being compensated for gas. They're making you spend your paycheck to do your job.

  12. Does MB let the Dad do anything with the child? So many children don't know their own fathers because Moms do all the parenting so the Dad ends up being pretty much a stranger which can be scary especially if they're very young. I actually had a sitaution once where it was the complete opposite, Dad was involved and I rarely saw the Mom. When I did she her, she was trying to get out of the house ASAP and she seemed "over it" when it came to interacting with her children, even feeding them.

  13. Does MB let the Dad do anything with the child? So many children don't know their own fathers because Moms do all the parenting so the Dad ends up being pretty much a stranger which can be scary especially if they're very young. I actually had a sitaution once where it was the complete opposite, Dad was involved and I rarely saw the Mom. When I did she her, she was trying to get out of the house ASAP and she seemed "over it" when it came to interacting with her children, even feeding them.

  14. The thing with gentle parenting / nannying is it is within respectful boundaries. The other day my NK 2.5 wanted to go in MB's room (she works from home) after waking from his nap. I set the boundary "Mommy is working, we're going to go downstairs." NK proceeds to yell and scream, throwing a tantrum. As much as you possibly can, stay calm. I use a soft but firm tone of voice. "We are going to go downstairs. Would you like to walk or be carried?" NK runs for Mom's office door. I repeat the instructions. NK is continuing to cry. At that point, the "gentle" element is being what's called a "warm demander". You are politely telling them this is what's going to happen. I said "I understand you'd like to see Mommy, but that is not an option right now. I'm going to carry you downstairs so we can start our day." I carried NK downstairs, put them down as soon as possible, and used proximity theory to position myself at the bottom of the stairs. NK cried for about 5 minutes. Every once in a while I said "I understand you want to see Mommy. Right now she is working". I modeled some deep breathing (you can very gently blow some air on them and eventually they will try and mirror you [my NK is 2.5 btw]) NK did not want to play or eat something but was now calm so we just sat peacefully for a moment. Nothing wrong with just taking a moment to be. I felt confident NK wouldn't try to go upstairs. Eventually I said "I'm going to go cut some fruit into shapes. You don't have to eat it but you can come and watch me." This interested NK enough to come "watch" me cut up bananas (and instinctively grab some and eat, which lifted their mood).

  15. I love these articles! Do you happen to have any more resources you really like?

  16. Too many parents forget the "within boundaries" element of gentle parenting. There is no need to validate 100% of your child's emotions and it is impossible to "give choice" 100% of the time, but you can be respectful about it.

  17. HELL NO you are in the right here. I had something similar happen to me when I worked at a snowcone stand deadass not even for 90 days. My boss was on the phone yelling at me and I very calmly said "I've stated my resignation. Have a good night." and hung up the phone. State the boundary, then walk away. Physically grabbing you is assault.

  18. Not to mention driving under the influence with children in the car is called child endangerment and it's a crime.

  19. PLEASE file a police report and press charges. Teachers (that includes subs) have got to start standing up for ourselves and showing kids and parents that they can not just treat us however they want. PLEASE press fucking charges.

  20. Fully accepted that even though I work as a teacher, and love it, I do not ever want children of my own.

  21. I feel relieved that a misogynistic prick of a snake decided to show his true colors and I don't have to waste my time with his pathetic ass.

  22. I once had a video chat dinner date (early days of Covid) with a guy who sexualized me eating a sandwich (I'm a sex-repulsed asexual which this guy KNEW ABOUT prior to the date). I was so uncomfortable with being sexualized for just EATING that I hung up and blocked him. Some men are really out there convinced we're here to sexually pleasure them all the time with everything we do. This was the FIRST date also.

  23. Middle school is notoriously tough I promise you did not fail. Try another school you'll be shocked to see how different they can be. You have to be extremely strict if you are a sub or they will try to walk all over you. I quickly have the ringleader removed within the first ten minutes if I can tell a class is going to be particularly rowdy (trust you instincts on this) for the pure reason of I don't have to put up with that crap just bc I'm a sub. Leave a DETAILED note for their teacher. If admin don't support you, block that school and don't take jobs there.

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