1. HOAs serve the functions normally done by local governments in other countries. Shared facilities, planning/use rules, upkeep of infrastructure. The broken governmental system and pseudo individualism is why they're so popular Stateside. In some parts of the US they're also tools to keep out minorities.

  2. Your statement is incorrect in many ways. Some things are 100% safe, even necessary (like vitamin K). Claiming that all consumption of medical agents is unsafe to an extent is fearmongring. Also, there is no rarity. There is so far no proof that it harms anyone past the first week, unless the person had severe underlying conditions. Every time someone claimed that a person died from a covid vaccine, it turned out to be a heart attack, or something of the sort, that was likely to happen anyway with a persons medical condition. There is no proper peer reviewed study that so much as begins to claim that, despite quite a bit of these studies that investigate the area. What you said may have sounded "centrist" to you, but there is no center. Either you're against modern medicine or you're not. And if you were for it, you wouldn't be here claiming something very incorrect with such confidence.

  3. Any medical intervention including saline carries a risk so nothing is completely risk free. Anti vax is bullshit though.

  4. That's not true. The GP would be paid in any case - it's just not within the remit of their work.

  5. Orgs can only charge reasonable fees for an sar. To print off digital records or digitally transfer them shouldn't be more than £10.

  6. I think it takes a certain kind of person to work in a prison. The kind of person who doesn’t mind seeing other human beings in cages.

  7. What does that have to do with ops situation and what do you suggest doing with people too insane and dangerous to be free if not putting them in cages?

  8. “I am not a child” while living in your moms house, okay dude. Her house her rules

  9. That bullshit doesn't apply to putting opsife in danger from exhaustion.

  10. It's not a disease and this cure talk is hurtful and causes a lot of harm to people who need it the least. I don't have autism, I AM autistic. Internalizing the ableism of neurotypicals is something lots of autistics have to work hard to get past. The most prominent disability we face is the ignorance and bigotry of others who don't even make the slightest effort to understand us. I wouldn't change being autistic for all the money in the world. I like what and who I am, and I am autistic.

  11. Unfortunately some autists are unable to function at all independently. It puts them at risk of harm both from themselves or from abusive caregivers. It puts burdens and worry on families on how to care for them when the caretakers get too old or die. If a treatment for severe autism or the very problematic aspects (self harm, bolting, meltdowns, non verbal communication) it would help a lot of people live safer and more fulfilling lives.

  12. Bs. People who can afford to do unpaid internships, pay for college without working, take the low paying starter jobs, travel to interviews/jobs, move overseas and don't have any disabilities or disasters will win. Everyone else is lucky to escape the month to month trap

  13. When I was 13. I was part of a 'gifted' program. I passed the ACT with a score good enough to enter university. Because we lived in a crappy school district and my mom couldn't afford the testing/programs or moving to get approved I was stuck in the backwoods bullshit high school. If we had lived in the neighboring wealthy district, almost every school had a good gifted program to help thier kids skip grades. A friend of mine from the program had rich family (they owned a bunch of hotels in the state) and he scored 3 points lower than I did and started uni at 14.5. I was uber jealous. That was when I realised that success wasn't about ability or how hard you work but about if mommy and daddy make $$.

  14. A text message on his phone from his new wife asking what they're doing about a pregnancy....while he and I were still married.

  15. Nta- this sounds like financial abuse. Why is it 'his' money when you are in charge of household admin and childcare while he waltzes off with his friends to pay thousands to watch a bunch of overpaid eejuts kick a ball around a stadium built on eco destruction and human rights violations? No sane person from this century could pull of Christmas with 100bucks unless they go in for petty theft on a grand scale. Ultimatum time, he treats you as an equal financially or you leave and get child support.

  16. I'm not fully sure it's financial abuse as it is general sexism and cluelessness. This sounds like a more traditional household type family situation. He might not have gone grocery shopping in the past several years and have no idea about how much food costs. It's like the banana quote 'It's one banana, Michael. What could it cost, $10?'; except he thinks that banana is $0.01.

  17. It's financial abuse because he controls the money so closely, didn't discuss a budget or expectations and wants op to care for 3 kids and prep Christmas on a pittance. He is a POS

  18. Even in the trying stage, tbh. Preconception care is a thing. When we were trying to get pregnant my husband just had sex. I was tracking my period, taking ovulation tests, taking basal body temps, eating a pregnancy-friendly diet (eating healthy and avoiding all the foods they tell you to avoid when pregnant), dealing with the hormonal effects of stopping birth control after years of being on it, adjusting my meds to those safe to take during pregnancy, abstaining from alcohol, taking prenatals...

  19. Though men SHOULD be doing more lifestyle stuff to improve fertility/sperm quality. Vitamins with minerals, reduce/eliminate smoking/drinking and refined sugars, loose underwear/clothing. Moderate exercise and reducing stress helps too. It's just that society focuses on women.

  20. Nta- I can see needing/expecting help from people visiting a newborn but to expect friends to act as unpaid housekeepers is ridiculous. My 'village' is people who can be emergency contacts, who will occasionally take my son out on fun stuff to allow me to catch up on life stuff (at my expense of course!).

  21. Not sure where you are but in some places if you are a tenant this is illegal

  22. Lmao abusive parents don’t give a shit about tenants rights. And OP is living with her for survival, they can’t afford to be kicked out

  23. It may give op some leverage if she knows her rights and also, where I am, the housing department has a duty to help find homes for people if they are homeless. They won't help if someone just leaves a safe and suitable home but something like this situation would be evidence to get help with alternative accommodation. An old friend of mine had a similar issue where her landlord had converted a garage to a room and only wanted her to go into the main house at specific times. The landlord got into massive trouble and my friend got help to find a studio apartment.

  24. Not from her career. I never asked her to stop teaching and stop writing her final. But all the extra presenting and travelling and such is icing on the cake and I feel like it's high time she can finally let me have some icing instead of inhaling it all for herself.

  25. This isn't a zero sum game. She has no obligation to dim her own accomplishments to make you look better.

  26. Nta- maybe set up a system where you buy extra food and she reimburses you/gives you a budget so you aren't out of pocket.

  27. ESH. If your mail goes there, that is your home and they need to legally evict you with 30 days written notice. Look up tenant rights in your state.

  28. Don't encourage op to irretrievably destroy his relationships with his family by forcing his presence in thier home for a month.

  29. She’s changing what she said. She said she spent $70 with 14 of it on things they needed. The rest was junk food. - Also not missing anything. She said when she does something bad he uses her name. Not that he hits her or abuses her. He uses her name. Man that’s some abuse right there. He uses her name. She started panicking bc it was at that point she realized she screwed up.

  30. She said 14 was staples but she also got freezer stuff.

  31. Wouldn't you show your room ?Just for the sake of humiliating your partner make them apologize and never to be done again?

  32. No, because giving in to controlling bullshit just leads to more controlling bullshit.

  33. Let me guess you are female too?Most of these comments come from girls.But to be honest i want for her the best,if she can find it in someone else i would be so happy for her...

  34. Why does the gender of the commenter matter? If anything it should be an indication that women find this shit controlling and that your ex gfs behavior isn't suspicious.

  35. I absolutely agree that OP is NTA and he sounds like he has a great relationship with his daughter and wouldn’t and shouldn’t change that. The issue here is that his sister has a different approach and OP is telling her to respect his approach which is fair. However, OP’s nephews are using the difference in their parenting approaches to get away with things they wouldn’t be allowed to if they were in their mum’s house. OP’s daughter sounds like she is happy to allow that (she is 14 after all). It is unlikely the kids are up to anything nefarious and I don’t personally agree with OP’s sister’s parenting approach however OP is effectively undermining his sister’s approach to parenting which whilst strict is not unusual.

  36. The aunt can be the bad guy then and tell her kids not to go upstairs.

  37. I’m not trying to play dumb here, but why do Europeans come study here if it’s free back home? I’ve also noticed the same thing with Canadians (I live in Washington) and hospitals. I would never turn down free

  38. Experience, someone from a wealthy family or who wants a specific course would choose to go stateside

  39. Elon has worked out that like a lot of IT shops Twitter has a lot of people on big $$$ who can't write a single line of code. They just suck money out of budgets and hold the organisation back.

  40. Any company needs more than just coders. I work for a uni and they decided a few years ago to 'streamline' techs and admin and now critical aspects of operation are almost irretrievably broken. Academics are trying to do thier jobs plus do the admin and it's burning people out and causing serious errors.

  41. He's attempting to lower expenses, Twitter had 7500 employees all making six figures many of which had bullshit jobs that didn't have required tasks .....the media is spinning it up like it's evil or whatever but it's literally how their darling child mitt Romney made his money with bane capital

  42. That's clearly not true since he fired all of the 'bullshit jobs' and it broke important things. Professionals often look like they're doing very little but that 'very little' is vitally important.

  43. Yeah, that was my initial thought, too: likely autism with very defined boundaries about herself (only eating when she likes the food, only wearing clothing she wants to wear, etc.). OP's mom doesn't seem to be doing anything malicious on purpose; she seemed to be expressing those boundaries in the way someone on the spectrum would express boundaries about other sensory issues.

  44. It sounds like the wife is just fed up of the MILs antics. If the mil has disrupted or missed multiple important events then I can see why the wife put her foot down. If the mil doesn't want to make a basic effort to attend family events and be supportive then there is no real relationship.

  45. I disagree she's a part time parent. I'm not saying it to be mean but its the reality of the situation. She needs a more traditional job to allow her to spend time with her child. Kids probably at school for 8 hours a day. So whos watching the kid the rest of the time because it is clearly not op.

  46. Where is your evidence she isn't looking after the kid when she has custody?

  47. Im telling you I was in this exact same scenario as a child and If you cant spend a good 8 hours a day with your kid you should not have had one.

  48. Even if op didn't work she still wouldn't see her kid when said kid is at the fathers house.

  49. NTA. What if one day she has a business lunch, or goes to a conference? Is she going to douse her pasta in ketchup in front of the CEO, or just go straight to the kids’ menu? Eek.

  50. In those environments you can order what you want and the vendors cater to preferences so it wouldn't be an issue.

  51. It kinda is. You implied that her eating habits would be a problem at work functions and they really wouldn't be.

  52. I didn't say it wasn't concerning. I believe OP should get the child into therapy. I do not believe OP should remove any parenting time from the other parent without solid evidence to back up such an extreme decision.

  53. It's better to err on the side of caution and stop visits long enough to at least see a doctor/therapist so that if SA is happening the kid is safe in the interim. The fathers parental rights do not trump the child's safety esp in the absence of a court order.

  54. Just like people say the dad could abuse the kid without another kid knowing, it's just as possible that the mom could alienate one child without the other knowing.

  55. It's far less likely for one kid to not know about alienation than SA. Look at the girls behavior, that level of fear and avoidance from ONE child is disturbing.

  56. One example of how women Stateside have problems is the contiunal govt interference with healthcare, opposition to maternity rights and leave, refusal to hold rapists accountable (see brock Turner, lots of politicians who rape underage girls and get away with it).

  57. I don’t approve of it and it seems a bit early, but I heard that saying over and over my entire teen years. As if to say if there is a teen pregnancy it is all on the parents of the daughter and hers is the only life ruined.

  58. The problem is that that is often true. It is the girl who suffers the immediate and major consequences. It is her education, health and money that is at stake. For the boys, esp very young ones, there is little consequence.

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