1. Why don’t you know what to do with yourself? You just hit the love lottery. Enjoy it.

  2. Because it makes me question my sanity. Why, of all of the women that I’ve seen since my breakup, her specifically? Why is it that she’s the one that stuck around? That understands me more than anybody else? That I’m developing feelings for? Somebody who doesn’t really live here? That isn’t really my type, looks-wise? I don’t know.

  3. Sometimes the best right person for us that just fits and clicks isn’t the over-idealized image we had in our heads. But it’s real, and that makes it infinitely better. I say throw out your idea of your type and explore the relationship. Looks change over time anyway. 😊 congratulations on finding something special.

  4. Actually the reason why I decided to talk on the phone with her was because of my experience with the other woman. I actually didn’t realize my feelings for her until I stopped myself from telling her I love her.

  5. Hi OP, read your history and I’m not trying to be smart. But your update seems to have the same as information of the previous post. Care to elaborate what is happening?

  6. Sorry for the confusion. The update is that she reached out to me with her new FB when A. I don’t need it and B. I have her phone number Her new FB also has a profile pic of her laying in the other guy’s bed which I did not need to see. She is then continuing to stalk me and she changed her picture on Instagram with that very picture and changed her last name to his. Before that, she was just stalking my Instagram and her profile picture was just the default pic (grey outline of a person) and her name was her maiden name.

  7. Why do you know she changed her picture and name yesterday if you haven't communicated in a month. That is painshopping.

  8. The way Instagram works is, when I post something to my story, I can see who views it. Anybody can view my story whether we follow or talk to each other or not unless it's private, which it isn't. Some random person I've never spoken with can literally view my story right now if they want to. I don't have to communicate with her to know that she changed her picture and name, I just saw that she viewed my story, and she changed her picture and name. I don't talk to her, I don't go on her social media, I don't engage with her at all.

  9. This is so confusing. You admit yourself you could have treated her better, and in a comment challenge being called a good husband. You can be a good husband, a mediocre husband, or a bad husband. If you weren't a good husband, you were one of the other two options. She was unhappy because she was not getting her needs met by you, and she was looking for an out. She's a grown, autonomous woman capable of making her own adult decisions. And yet the way you talk seems like you're blaming the other guy and saying that your attention seeking ex was just the helpless victim of someone willing to pay attention to her. It is not the responsibility of the rest of the world to respect your wedding vows, that responsibility rested solely with you and your wife. She's the one who disrespected the marriage by seeking and accepting romantic attention from someone else. If you had paid attention to her, maybe she wouldn't have been seeking attention outside the marriage.

  10. I am saying that I could have been a better husband. Yes, I could have treated her better. Yes, she believed that I wasn’t meeting her needs. But there are other options besides cheating and that was the route that she went with.

  11. I don't condone cheating. But also, the fact that you cite the fact that you didn't cheat as evidence you were a good husband is sad. That's like the bare minimum. Your ex sounds high maintenance and exhausting but apparently that crazy dude gives her the attention what she needs. It sounds like you were ill matched. But maybe take this time to reflect on how you can be a better partner in the future other than "not cheating."

  12. When did I say that I was a good husband? I literally admitted I could have treated her better. I just said that as much she tried to put this blame on me, I also didn’t cheat on her.

  13. How long have you been obsessing over this? I see a prior post that says this occurred mid-2021? Have you been feeling like this for 2 years? Its not healthy! I'm not sure if or when you've fully cut contact but you've really need to examine yourself in the mirror and recognize how unhappy you are. At some point, you've got to give yourself a chance to heal. You keep subjecting yourself to the same pattern and nothing will change.

  14. I found out about the other guy September of last year, but in reality their relationship has been going on since 2021.

  15. I am so sorry, I don’t mean to blame anybody, but I have to ask (and only because of your username and post history) are you a heavy gamer? 😬👀🤨

  16. Not much these days. When we were together, I mostly play after she falls asleep

  17. She has some serious issues that need to be addressed with a therapist. Based on when the above is true ( I don’t doubt that) - she is insecure because she is insecure - has nothing to do with you and everything to do with her.

  18. She actually grew up at as the favorite child, particularly from her father. Both of her siblings were popular athletes in school and she joined the radio club… So her father gave her extra attention to make up for that.

  19. all you have to do is let karma get her and let me tell you what it will get her. She seems like she doesn't know what she wants thats messed up. Does she have kids with him or he's 2 kids

  20. Love bombing like that is actually an enormous red flag that she apparently doesn't even see or understand. I wouldn't worry abt a happy ending to that relationship. Stock up on popcorn. You have better things to do with your life. Move on. Don't get drawn into her drama.

  21. When I first found out about the guy and tried to warn her about these obsessive tendencies, her answer to me was, “God forbid he pays attention to me.”

  22. What the F is wrong with you!!! I mean really. WHAT!!!

  23. We both moved to NY. I travel to Seattle while she stayed in NY. Her new man also happened to be from Seattle and she met him online. I went to NY for our anniversary. No, we did not have sex and even if we did, quite frankly, I don’t care how her new man would’ve have felt about it.

  24. If this is a true story both of you are in desperate need of psychiatric intervention. Please seek help for yourself and completely and utterly block her including her family

  25. Thanks for your concern. I am actually seeing a therapist now because of her. She won’t, though. She is the type of person who believes that she can carry the weight of the world on her shoulders and won’t accept help in general.

  26. First of all, you wrote all this over 23 hours ago asking for 'welcomed' thoughts or questions. You have 70 (including mine) thoughts and questions in that time and unfortunately you have not responded or replied at all.

  27. Thanks for your reply. If you scroll down a bit, you'll see that I responded to somebody about an hour ago. I appreciate your support.

  28. I'm wondering if she started the affair as an exit strategy (for a reason) but then OP insisted on "fighting for them" instead of letting it go.

  29. Your are doing one hell of a pick me dance..... Look up grey rock and 180. If you want her back you need to go cold, you chasing her won't make her chase you......... The worse that will come out if this method is you divorce which you are heading to anyway. It will take the affair fog away when ya go cold and let her to set her head for what she really wants. You have played this game allllll wrong mate. Pick me dance never wins

  30. When did I say that I wanted her back? I won’t take her back after everything that she’s done to me. I was hoping to just remain friends but I don’t think she’s capable of doing that.

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