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  1. Unfortunately you’ve hit the nail on the head. He’s made it clear in many other ways that he’s not that committed to me and often reminds me of his priorities that lie above me. He makes it seem as though “we’re just young” but I think it’s more that he’s immature and doesn’t value me. Of course, he says the opposite when I’m upset and I stupidly listen although deep down I know it’s not true. He asked for a “break” a few months ago but we worked through it. Whenever I ask for reassurance he’s told me “I love you but right now I need to focus on x,y,z” he’s spelled it out for me and I’ve just been too stupid to listen.

  2. Your intuition works just fine. You know something isn't right, you see all the red flags and his manipulation when you are upset. Only thing left is to make some space for what is right for you.

  3. Wow, thank you so much for providing your feedback. I've been begging therapist after therapist to make a half-assed diagnosis of her based on my side of the story and they all rejected saying it's against the ethics code. I also asked them if I could be the one with the disorder projecting my flaws onto her (sounds insane, but I also considered the possibility of me being insane). And they said they cannot see any serious issues with me. I asked her to see a therapist post separation and she started seeing one.

  4. I can understand why the therapists wouldn't diagnose her based on your description. I can't diagnose either of course, it's even worse to try to diagnose through Reddit, lol. Diagnoses are just labels that help in which direction to look for treatment. With personality disorder I find it helpful to think of people having certains traits of it, or indications towards it when they come to treatment. In the end a person is much more than their label. BUT this is in the perspective that a patient with personality disorder comes for treatment, which is why I can understand why your wife's therapist wouldn't label her a narcissist, it's not helpful in their therapy and is very negative for your wife.

  5. I cannot thank you enough for your comment. That's what I needed to hear from therapists, just validating my experience. I didn't need an official diagnosis.

  6. Of course, you are welcome. We all need to be heard. Yeah, I can understand how the cycle of Mr. Hyde and paradise could be addicting, like slot machines in winning and losing. In my experience people hardly change, and if they do, a change of external circumstances would help in that - staying together wouldn't change anything. You've been together for 7 years, tried marriage counselling, individual counseling; what do you need to be able to tell yourself you've hold onto hope for change long enough? When is it finally time to take into account your own needs and happiness? Also, change is hard! Usually people stay into miserable situations until they hit complete bottom and NOT changing becomes harder than staying in the status quo. Please don't underestimate the courage and effort it takes for the steps you are currently taking!

  7. First about catching him saving pics. Assuming he isn't an artist who uses the pics as inspiration and reference... Perving on women's pics is really superficial and makes me question his values and where he puts his time and energy in. Not to mention the focus on the sexualization of women. Definitely turn offs.

  8. Are tumblr downloads pretty reliable? I get nervous about viruses

  9. I use this virus checker website for any file I have doubts of. It uses like 60 different virus scanners to check the file. Helped me a lot! Though so far I have never used it on sims CC on tumblr. They look pretty reliable.

  10. The book "She comes first" by Ian Kerner sets a pretty good expectation of a healthy bedroom. Perhaps you could consult passages from it to learn about what is healthy sex and what women like, so you can try it out for yourself.

  11. That is hardcore - a consistent 2.2 Pounds (1KG) per week

  12. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-9278071/Student-26-drank-nearly-1-5-GALLONS-soda-day-loses-staggering-276lbs.html

  13. That doesn't make it much easier. Maybe on the front end by dropping some weight faster but you still have to deal with your food demons and learn healthy eating habits.

  14. That's true. I don't have much knowledge about gastric bypasses. I imagined that the physical restraint of a smaller stomach and the investment in a heavy surgery would up the motivation to keep going, thereby making it, not necessarily easier, but more likely to not give up.

  15. It took every ounce of self control i have not to beat the everliving shit out of him.

  16. I have apologized to people for things I had done like two years later, because it felt like the right thing. Most appreciated it. If I were you I would tell her, just keep it to the point and polite. Like the message

  17. She is so cute! Did you use a CC for the skin? If so, where did you get it? :D

  18. thank you that really means so much. it hurts to mourn what i thought the relationship was but i feel like it will get easier. i appreciate your uplifting comments it makes me feel less alone:’)

  19. Yes, you made the right call and did well!! It will hurt now, but you're right it'll be so much better at the same time! No more bullshitting and being treated less than, hooray!

  20. I would call total bullshit on her, "as a best friend". The disrespect is huge. That she even considers this thought AND acts on it by persuading you, that alone would have me walking out the door. 23 years of marriage or not. Let alone for the cheating before! If she has decided she's gonna treat me like I don't even matter, why would I devote my time, attention and affection to her? It's better spend elsewhere, where there is actual mutual love and respect. This is not it.

  21. Fuck, what a nightmare. I’ve been with my girlfriend for over 2 years and I straight up don’t have any pictures of us together on my phone. There are a few on my digital camera (because you get better pics that way) but most of them are either of me or of her, and I also don’t just carry that fucker around.

  22. You can call her to prove your acquainted or show WhatsApp messages etc.

  23. I love it! I would definitely fall off the stairs while running up 😂

  24. I really really need a subreddit for time-lapse (bread) baking!!! Googled and found nothing. Does it exist?

  25. I really really need a subreddit for time-lapse (bread) baking!!! Googled and found nothing. Does it exist?

  26. Hi, have a look at this video. It is about sexual child predators. A mom poses as a child undercover to show what dangers there are for young children on social media regarding sexual child predators.

  27. OP, why do you compare yourself to the ex's performance, and why do you need to be better than her? Imo the pain results from this compulsion to be better and feeling like you aren't measuring up, not because your bf spoke the truth. If the sex is satisfactory to both of you, imo that is a successful bedroom. Every person has aspects they are better or worse in than someone else. Also, your bf's opinion is just his opinion, it is subjective and someone else might think otherwise. I don't recommend comparing to ex's but it is a human thing. To give some perspective: Maybe you are a much better cook than her, or better in communicating, making jokes, gardening, doing other things both of you enjoy. I guess what I want to emphasise is that we are all much more than just this one aspect :) And it's perfectly fine if our strengths and weaknesses are divided differently for each person. It is perfectly fine to feel sad! Just remember you are much more than just this one thing. Take care of yourself!

  28. if you objectively have a small penis and your gf tells you her ex’s penis was honestly so much bigger you would just be cool? you wouldn’t be a little hurt? c’mon now

  29. In your example this person would explicitly ask their partner "Was your ex's penis bigger than mine?". And the partner answered truthfully on the question, which understandably could result in feelings of hurt and not measuring up. But this is more a problem in the person asking and needing to compare themselves to the ex, not the partner who has answered truthfully. IF the partner started to say on their own accord "Your dick's smaller than my ex's." That person would be upward comparing their partner and it would be along the line of negging, because upwards comparing hurts and breeds insecurity.

  30. It's ironic because he's saying I'm selfish and controlling by telling him to stay at home with our baby.

  31. I fee so angry for you, Susan. He's manipulating you and turning the truth around on you. No decent partner is going to scream and scream until their partner gets off birth control out of fear and then gets them pregnant AND then tells they gonna quit their job, not watch the baby and go out with friends and be unavailable. This is under no circumstances EVER okay! His abuse is only going to escalate. I would not be surprised to see him cheating weekly. This man has shown you he cares exactly nothing for you or the baby. You deserve so so so much better. Please consider dumping his manipulative, selfish and unkind ass.

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