Couples therapists, without breaking confidentiality, what are some relationships that instantly set off red flags, and do you try and get them to work out?

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  1. They played The Stand at the Toronto show last night!!! They've been playing it a lot more this tour actually and it's so exciting

  2. Y'all still doing the course? I'm so down to work together if you guys are

  3. My boyfriend and I were talking about our childhoods recently and I was telling him about this really cool hotel that my parents used to take me to pretty regularly growing up.

  4. Hey I’m just gonna follow this too as I live in London and have never heard of him until now! If I would’ve known about him I probably would’ve put in to have top surgery with him instead of going to Montreal as they use drains. I didn’t find much info on him but I did find the contact for his assistant if you’d like it?

  5. I had the contact for his assistant actually, but I've tried calling and never got a person on the phone. I actually called them right after making this post, though, and as luck would have it they picked up this time!

  6. That is good to know. I would’ve liked to go with him instead of Montreal but the wait time you are stating won’t work for me. I have surgery with Montreal in 3 and a bit weeks so I guess I will be going with them. Thanks for the update though!

  7. The kindness we can show others through simple acceptance and communicating our appreciation of their better qualities is empowering and transformative. Words and actions matter. So I will say this: you are an amazing person for being his biggest cheerleader, because you are helping him grow even stronger and better. He's as lucky to have you as you are to have him. I wish you both a lifetime of continued support and happiness, and I hope it is mutually rewarding.

  8. Thank you so much for your kind words, this made me so happy to read. I always see the best in people, and he has a lot of it to see, so I'm just doing what I can to try to deserve someone as bright as him. I have a good feeling about our relationship though, and I really hope it stands the test of time like I think it will.

  9. Being kind and generous towards each other will make your love blossom and run so deep. Congrats. I'm songlad you two found each other.

  10. Thank you. It's been beautiful to watch how we're both growing and healing with each other's support. I'm really glad we found each other too; thanks for the well wishes :)

  11. Holy shit you look awesome! Huge congrats man, I hope the healing and everything else continues to go well!

  12. There was a workplace seminar exercise thing I went to where we had to listen to our conversation partner, and all we have to do is to summarize what they said to make them feel fully understood. No response of our own other than reiterating their points. Then they have to “judge” us based on whether we got their main points, or if we’re missing important parts, or if we added anything they didn’t say. Took quite a bit of effort because we’re so used to just listening for keywords while our minds go elsewhere.

  13. I've done that before in family therapy, it's harder than it seems! Definitely a worthwhile exercise though especially for conflict resolution scenarios -- this and using "I" statements (instead of "you" or "we") do wonders for keeping discussions civil.

  14. This right here. I'm depressed. I need therapy. I have no insurance. Sessions with a therapist are like 200 bucks. I can't afford that. What the fuck am I supposed to do?

  15. Hey I know you're probably in America but I might have something that could help! The Ontario (Canada) government has put out two

  16. I did the same. During the interview, they told that in the last 2 years, they had 8 people in the position, for 8 months at most. It was a good offer, and a job I would like, but I cannot believe that 8 people in a row were lazy, not good enough or bad at their job. I didn't accept the job offer

  17. I will say that in certain fields a high turnover rate doesn't necessarily speak to the actual working conditions though. I've been working since August 2020 as a line cook, and yes it's a minimum wage job, and yes we have long hours with no breaks (unless you're a smoker), but I really must say I don't think I could've gotten a job like this anywhere else.

  18. I can relate big time! I'm 3 months clean as of yesterday and it's been making me really sad that my scars are fading a lot, but I can't even do much about it because my work uniform (chef) has a short sleeved jacket :((( but I like having the scars as a visual reminder of what I've been through I guess (really common in neurodivergent people, I've found) and it's honestly a good portion of the reason why I SH sometimes.

  19. While I agree that it's not really a super specific thing, I don't really see why she would make things up when I'm, yknow, not paying her? The thing is that she honestly didn't have any wrong guesses, beyond I suppose thinking I have one cat and not two, but that's a minor thing imho.

  20. If you want to behave monogamously to keep Cameron, you have to behave monogamously.

  21. Haven't finished reading the whole thing, but it really sounds like you think only triads are "real poly relationships," which isn't true. Any relationship where you are also openly dating other people is polyamorous. Most poly people aren't in triads, they just date multiple people separately.

  22. Ah I'm sorry for coming off that way! I definitely don't think that. Any form of polygroup is valid no matter how many people there are, I just probably talked about/alluded to triads/vees more because a vee would be the relevant relationship setup for my specific situation if it were to work out as poly. Sorry again!

  23. I agree. Part of the issue is I don't fully know or am not fully sure of my boundaries myself, so it kind of makes sense that they'd keep pushing. I like a lot of things in theory, but knowing what I'd be open to in practice is different, I think.

  24. That's fair, when my boyfriend and I tried poly he wasn't sure what he was comfortable with either, hence us trying it to find out. Which was his idea, by the way; a mutual friend of ours had feelings for me and asked him if he'd be okay with them dating me (so, a vee) and he said yes, then the two of them talked to me about it afterwards—I probably wouldn't have asked otherwise though I did have (repressed) feelings for her, because I know that he's monogamous anyways. It didn't end up working out because it was negatively affecting his mental health, so I broke it off with my girlfriend and that was that. But my girlfriend and I didn't push him at any point while we were together though, we both actively made it clear that if he was uncomfortable then he needed to tell us and we would fix/change/stop whatever was the problem.

  25. Thank you, that all makes sense. Weirdly she wouldn't have an issue with a threesome with me, I'm the only hesitant one here, which is why I feel a bit guilty for "bringing everyone down" as it were.

  26. Some people are definitely okay having sexual relations with their metamours, and sometimes would even start relationships with them (hence why vee relationships sometimes evolve into a triad where everyone is dating each other). That's their prerogative though, and it definitely doesn't give her the right to try to force her opinions/feelings onto you if you don't agree. Maintaining your boundaries isn't "bringing everyone down"; if your boyfriend and/or his girlfriend are [intentionally/non-accidentally] making you feel like you are bringing everyone down or that you're lesser/worse for not wanting this, then that's toxic and you either need to directly address and fix the problem or leave if they want to continue acting like that.

  27. Honestly, I would be honest, I was turned into a nymphomaniac by the first partner I had a bond with. My last partner was my Highschool sweetheart knew bout it and even though he didn't mind at all, I always felt guilty because what if he felt like he wasn't enough? If you are in a relationship, it is give and take, if he can't respect that sometimes you don't want it then he can walk. It sounds harsh, but your body and mental health takes priority over a man.

  28. Oh no I agree. If he didn't accept me then I would leave, in the end. The thing is, I know he would accept me I'm just terrified for absolutely no reason at all 😅. I guess it's mainly an issue of "I don't know how to talk about this" rather than "I don't know if he'll accept me", sorry if I worded the post badly

  29. I'm sorry, I don't really have any advice here. I'm sort of in a similar scenario, though. In every poly/mono relationship I've been in so far except thankfully my current one (5, not counting my boyfriend now) it's ended because of either my partner cheating, me cheating, or me catching feelings for someone else and my monogamous partner, despite previously saying that they were okay with me being polyamorous, getting threatened and leaving. I've also been in 2 polyamorous relationships, or rather, one relationship with a polyamorous person (we did not have a third) and one polyamorous relationship. The one without a third ended because she simply realized she actually had platonic and not romantic feelings for me. The one with a third though, that's been fairly complicated and messy.

  30. Kinda tagging onto this, has anyone had success where your mono partner was only okay with you seeing people of another sex than them?

  31. No personal experience with that scenario, but it sounds like thinly-veiled homophobia, honestly. They're just about outright saying that same-sex love is lesser or not as valid as different-sex love, and well, personally I wouldn't want to date someone with those kinds of opinions... if that person is queer as well though then I have no idea what's going on there. Either way, it sounds kinda concerning but hey if that's the only way you can do poly, that's the only way you can do poly.

  32. It's called Aegosexuality or Autochirosexuality. It is also on the Asexual spectrum. Yes. You can be both, as I am.

  33. Well, this isn't quite aego/autochoris, it's more fictosexual I would say, since that sexuality is specifically being attracted to fictional characters. But aegosexual or autochorissexual def could fit this person too, only time will tell!

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