1. You have 23 hours before the piss DRLRLORLPLRLETTS hit the Fking earth now Get out of my fking aight before i piss on you too

  2. incomprehensible wheezing from the fandub cast while knowing they have created something historic

  3. Imagine, you get hit by a truck and then your poked with some weird rectangle. As you open your eyes you see an inkling staring down at you with a bow on their back. And thick, desert sunglasses. They hand you a splattershot Jr and stand up.

  4. “hey, wake up, squiddo! …huh? coronavirus? war? capitalism? you mustve hit your head pretty bad when you super jumped over! cmon, get up, we gotta play a few rounds of turf war!!”

  5. what a coincidence, a few nights ago i had a dream where my sisters were brutally murdered by some rando but we were splatoon characters for some reason

  6. He won’t die from age. I’ll make sure of that :)

  7. Who has non-reciprocated sexual feelings for Mike

  8. im glad that as a fandom we’ve mostly agreed that jesse is trans and probably gay

  9. also i love that we all collectively agree that mr white being evil isnt that great so we all make him into a loving father figure.

  10. Shiver is the new Link. They are simultaneously cis, transfem, transmasc, or nonbinary depending on who you ask

  11. I cant decide whether I headcanon Shiver as transfem or she/her NB

  12. personally i like to headcanon them as he/they transmasc and frye as she/they nonbinary. theres no real reason other than im a trans man and shiver is gender to me and frye has the nonbinary colors

  13. alr do u know any surgeons cuz i dont know how to do vocal chord transplants

  14. i’ll rip your larynx out and replace it with my own if you want but only if i can have yours after its done

  15. wait isnt dark matter a character from kirby

  16. my fashion choices only increased, i wear gothic fashion mostly

  17. i grind to level up my character so i can unlock gender changing in the character customization options

  18. “being kicked in the balls hurts more than period cramps” well when i go on T i’m gonna test my pain tolerance by getting kicked in the T-dick while also on my period just to piss cis dudes off and prove that im more of a man than theyll ever be (because im working really hard to be as masculine as possible without having the chains of toxic masculinity to bind me, no pun intended)

  19. meanwhile trans men in the womens changeroom: how are these women not immensely uncomfortable with a whole ass man person in the same changing room as them what the fuck


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