AITA for using flash cards to explain to my brother and his wife why they can't bring their rainbow baby to my wedding?

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  1. You guys… this guy has a roommate and kids from two different women. Something tells me he’s not swimming in willing friends and family.

  2. Be fair though. His son's mother died. So he's a widowed dad, which of course would make finances tight, and later got a girlfriend. None of that points to him being some kind of social outcast or player. Maybe he's far from family?

  3. Me too. Was scrolling for someone else who had! Word for word, a few months back.

  4. I think so. He doesn't. That's why I post here. But only now I realize that there are cultural differences between the people replying here as well. Nevertheless, I did get some insights here that may help. Though I secretly hope he'll read all this and gain some insights as well. :)

  5. Dutch grandpa here and grew up in semi Dutch culture. I can see that making sense to your partner and being hurtful for you. My partner HATES it when I touch or stroke him to ask him to move aside and says it's treating him like an animal, just ask! To me, my way is warm and intimate and asking is weirdly formal to the point of hostile. We've agreed I can stroke him if I also use my words 😂

  6. I don't think you're a fool and I didn't call you one. I asked if you felt foolish making 2 confident comments with little to no knowledge, I realize the nature of this question is indeed insulting and I prefaced it as such. Again, I do not think you are a fool and didn't call you one. Have a good day.

  7. There has been nothing in this interaction for me to deduce the gender of the person I'm talking to, I could easily be talking to a woman here, there is no way for me to know. Yes, I was thinking exactly this and it sparked my curiosity to ask, It's a very interesting topic.

  8. Comment history and attitude screamed "him" to me. And I find men to be more blithely authoritative than women when they don't actually know stuff. But yeah, there's a slight chance that it could, possibly, maybe, not statistically impossibly, be a woman. Who calls falling pregnant "baby-trapping" ... (You and me are on the same side here but I'll stake my dinner on that being a man.)

  9. NTA. If you regret your tone or the words you chose, learn from that, but otherwise it's reasonable to expect that people let you know when your conversation is not private.

  10. Also white and I can pronounce linoleum, mnemonic and Champs de Elysees (en francais) which sounds like "shams d'leesay"

  11. Thank you for your response. I didn't ask if looking after my friends son was ok with my husband. I gave him a heads up that if I was asked to pick him up on the Friday then things had taken a turn for the worst. I assumed two things (which may be wrong on my part - ie to assume) - one, that he understood the seriousness of what that meant and two, that he wouldn't put himself before that given the circumstances. Its not something I would ever do, so i didn't expect him to either. Again, I understand how that could be wrong on my part.

  12. Don't listen to the commenter above. Your friend's baby was DYING and they're saying "But had you reassured your husband about possible brunch plans?!"

  13. THANK YOU for explaining this! I've spent YEARS thinking it referred to the Trojan horse and puzzling that they should totally have looked in its mouth to see all the soldiers hidden inside 😂

  14. That was always my understanding- lol I love the different interpretations of the same thing.

  15. Yeah, I think they're right though and we were just wrong. Especially as their explanation makes sense!

  16. YTA. If you’d made the stuffing AND the sides you’d been assigned that’d be fine, or made sure someone else would make those things. But you went rogue and it sounds like the dinner was just meat and bread based dishes. Nobody wants that.

  17. I have long hair and I use a claw grip to scoop it on top of my head. Instant, elegant, no stray hairs. She might feel happier with that than a hairnet if her hair is long enough.

  18. She's only in her early 50s and aside from possible menopause starting she's in overall good health.

  19. Menopause can really cause serious mood swings and rage for some women. It's definitely worth considering that esp as it sounds like she was great before. If that is the case, the right HRT could make all the difference for everyone including her. But it's not tenable for her to just continue as she is.

  20. YTA. I do actually get wanting weekends off childcare but the trade for that is weeks on, and you're the one who moved too far from their schools for that. Meanwhile their mum does all the school stuff and doesn't get the fun time with them. Move back closer and share both.

  21. NTA and why on earth does she think she needs to live with you? Plenty of people end relationships or leave roommates without throwing themselves into the home of newlyweds. She probably thinks it's an easy option, but it's not. FOR YOU.

  22. It leaves at half past Fuckthisguy from Angryinternet Avenue

  23. Hearing daughter of a largely deaf mother, boarding the bus with a pitchfork for the Hard of Understanding.

  24. It’s not, at least not in the U.S. You can’t buy plane tickets more than ~330 days out.

  25. She said £. She's not in the US. And Jet2 lets you book flights 18 months in advance. It's so wearying when US redditors call "fake!" just because not every country works exactly like theirs.

  26. Except even the company that has the earliedt dates arent setting 2024 dates yet (for any country). So dont be so quick to judge Americans.

  27. I just did a test search on Jet2 and got results to book a flight from London to Turkey in October 2024. I'm not being "quick to judge Americans", I'm telling certain Americans that their country-specific experiences (and flight searches!) aren't necessarily universal.

  28. Yeah, YTA. You expressed SHOCK that the kids might be siblings. That's no different to expressing SHOCK that two women might be together. That's not just oblivious. You're hiding homophobia behind the "innocent" curtain of obliviousness. You're currently homophobic, but the great news is that that's incredibly curable! Start by apologizing without excuses. "I'm really sorry, that was a crap thing to say" not "I'm really sorry, I just..." Bring a gift to the apology: flowers are always good. Then look up "they were roommates" memes for lesbian invisibility in history. And spend some time thinking about why you think it's healthy and normal to pretend some types of people don't exist.

  29. “I don’t understand; why can’t Logan go to Vegas?”

  30. Awww, that's fab! I'm seeing a montage of the cousin's slapdash by-taste savoury cooking...

  31. Paper round? Oh sweetie, I have something to tell you, but you may want to sit down first...

  32. I asked for his support but he says that it's better to ignore indirect comments than to assume the glove fits.

  33. Yeah, no. You're not a subordinate anything. And you're not an idiot thinking "Whose tattoos is he talking about?!" This is your home. He can behave politely or leave. If your husband doesn't think he can behave politely, it's not on you to endure rudeness.

  34. NEW THEORY: she will reluctantly divulge SIL's author name and it will all be a massive marketing ploy.

  35. See idk if he even did that. And to be clear I did it at night lol and we are the only ones on the bottom level. I know it’s crazy though. I just don’t want to feel like there are secrets

  36. How can there be no secrets when you've laid down this unilateral edict that he can't masturbate? It's a perfectly normal thing to do, even for people in relationships. You've decided that masturbation = porn = bad, and that's just not true. Masturbation is HEALTHY. If my partner dictated that i couldn't eat green vegetables, you can bet I'd be chomping down kale in secret. The only secrecy here is in response to your unhinged diktat. Definitely get some therapy and find out what's beneath your belief that masturbation is bad.

  37. So she was dating him when she was 28 and he was 40? 🤔 Makes me pause…

  38. Likewise, but in academia one gets so used to a panoply of ages and people being at very different stages of adult-life development regardless of age (a factor of low pay, long degrees, erratic long hours, and being expected to move regularly) so I can see why the age might not have seemed such a Thing to her as if they'd both entered the 9-5 work force around 21.

  39. He is not in academia; the dude is self-employed in a trade

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