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  1. I have a great relationship with my real estate agent, and this is a question I’d put to him, and he’d take care of it. He would also be part of choosing a price I’m happy with that takes “comps” into account. And using apps like Redfin is very much a part of the process. It’s not the end of your world to back out of the contract, just try to be more sure next time before you sign.

  2. I admit I am slightly confused, you’re feeling discriminated against as a couple but you’re not dating as a couple?

  3. That’s my reaction too (first sentence), the hate against couple applies to couples dating as couples. If your profile doesn’t start with “we,” then “you” are not a couple.

  4. It should apply, but like everything else, humans create blanket statements with no room for nuance. I usually see the discussions on here trend the same way as OP describes. The advice just gets boiled down to "don't date couples" with no room for whether they're dating as a couple or individually.

  5. You can date someone who happens to be married without dating a “couple that dates individually,” though. You date the person. And on the flip side, if you are dating and happen to be married, you don’t need to find someone who dates “couples who date individually,” you just need to find someone to date you.

  6. A good doctor (maybe with “functional” or “integrative” on their website) will know about this. I found the good ones in my area. Imitrex works pretty well for me for migraines whether or not there is pain!

  7. I’ve had vestibular migraines—that’s when there is vertigo. Most pain-free migraines don’t involve vertigo (for me I might be nauseous, extremely irritable, sensitive to light, and a bit light-headed, it’s extremely unpleasant but I can still walk, whereas with a vestibular migraine I couldn’t stand).

  8. I’m so glad you don’t feel more beholden to your needy, self-centered parents. I wish I’d been as good at holding my boundaries and calling out my parents’ bullshit at 19 as you were.

  9. Ok, cool, just your post and the things you wrote about really dwelled on the sexual aspect of their other activities.

  10. Not trying to be close with your parents or give them the attention they want is not the same thing as not trying to be close with your children, as they grow up, or give them the attention they want.

  11. It’s the daughter’s name that the daughter has to live with. It’s her right to change it as she chooses. The daughter and her name do not exist to help her mother process the mother’s history or trauma. Mother needs to stop playing the victim and find a way to process this and move forward, while being respectful to daughter’s wishes about her own name.

  12. Agreed. The comments here are wild. If your kid changes their name, you call them by the new name. You support them. Even if you think they intentionally named themselves your least favorite name. Or got a tattoo of your least favorite Pokemon. Maybe you have a kind of messed up, enmeshed, controlling relationship with them. The point is, making more drama about it won’t help. They aren’t your property, and they’ll figure that out if they haven’t already.

  13. I feel like I’m going insane, OOP was the asshole in the first post and she is now. Daughter can really name herself whatever the fuck she wants and mother has no say over it. I’m willing to bet that daughter has been constantly been compared to maid all her life and mother isn’t quite the saint that she’s pretending to be. It’s really disturbing how hard AITA is coming down on the daughter for what I can see as her making her own identity and then now being thrown away by her mother

  14. I agree, OOP sounds like a real piece of work and is clearly too stuck in her own trauma to see her daughter as her own person rather than a possession. You give your kids names at birth. They can change them. A good parent doesn’t make any of their kid’s decisions into something about them and play some kind of victim, whether it’s your kid’s name, gender, job, choice of degree, choice of partner, having kids or not, living here or there. They are their own people, and not only that, they need to be reassured, encouraged, and supported in that, especially as young adults.

  15. Too late: someone filmed it, someone uploaded it, someone posted it to Reddit, it ended up in my feed, and now it’s the job of us 1000 people or so to say what we think about it.

  16. Am I interpreting this correctly, that people were giving HIM shit for having photos of his girlfriend of 3 years that he lost in a traumatic way? And not her for demanding to see his phone 2 MONTHS into a relationship? And he was honest with her but she just “didn’t like his answers” so he’s the bad guy? That dude dodged a bullet.

  17. I agree. I want to tell him to take heart, he didn't do anything wrong, and OOP's behavior is not what he can or should expect from other partners he might try to date. I was also thinking "dodged a bullet."

  18. The way you bought and listened to music at the time was to go to a store and buy a CD for like $15-20 and play it.

  19. I’m wondering if anyone else besides me hated this movie because they understand and connect with the generational trauma aspect.

  20. Being 38, divorced, and with much better friendships/relationships now, I’ll try to offer some perspective. A lot has been written about why empaths/codependents are drawn to narcissistic behavior, and it’s something like that, but it’s mainly about self-respect and self-love.

  21. Run. Enjoy your hot girl summer. Don’t look back. But you already know this. You’re looking for confirmation, but you still ain’t going to listen.

  22. I know, I feel like she isn’t going to listen either. Holy crap. So sad.

  23. Leave leave leave leave leave leave this relationship. The thought that you might read these comments and still not break up with this person is painful.

  24. Thx for the clarification ! I'm glad you feel comfortable with the term ! I'm kinda confused by your comment on platonic vs romantic love. Isn't platonic love just love without the sexual aspect ?

  25. Platonic love means non-sexual and/or non-romantic, depending on who you ask. You would generally not call a boyfriend/girlfriend who behave romantically “platonic,” regardless of what they do or don’t do in the bedroom. Meanwhile, some people call sex with “just friends” “platonic sex.” While others comment to say sex can’t be platonic because platonic means non-sexual.

  26. “I won’t shame”. And then directly continues shaming. The entire point of this post is to shame men who look like this and who are “unicorn hunters”.

  27. You got downvoted, but you are correct, just because a bunch of people did some shitty things doesn’t mean let’s be mean and shame other people for their appearance in a mostly unrelated way.

  28. Notice that you are calling having $3800 a "crisis." And you think you have to do something with it. Do not do anything with it. Don't spend it. Don't invest it. Just have it in the bank. Use it as an opportunity to become more comfortable with the situation of having a little bit of money, instead of no money. It's not a lot of money. Brainstorm some examples of things that could easily happen in the next few months that might require coming up with $100, or $500, or $1000.

  29. Of course I see that. Why do you think I created this thread in the first place?

  30. You are not really owning your choice to break the promise, when you describe it as an effect of a “character trait.” Keeping a promise doesn’t require empathy. It just requires self-control/integrity. You word is more important than anyone’s feelings. But as far as feelings, if you need to tune into something to guide your actions, don’t imagine your partner anxious and insecure, now. Imagine them rightfully angry and betrayed, later, that you broke your promise. Actions have consequences.

  31. I think there are frequencies that we can all tune into that can put us in alignment with each other. But we are different people. I get creeped out when people think I'm a version of them. To me it means they aren't totally comfortable with boundaries and the idea that there are other people in the world who aren't them.

  32. It's not a good question. There's no real answer. If you need to talk details about what someone did with someone, or what someone is allowed to do with someone, you're going to need to talk details.

  33. Very neat stuff. Love the variance annotations. (I’m neutral on the keywords/syntax, just glad it exists.)

  34. It’s a great thing to know is a totally possible thing!

  35. Apparently most poly folks are just in it to share streaming accounts and leftovers, and have a D&D crew. Lol. Honestly, the cuddle piles and group sex are pretty great.

  36. That's why I'm thinking about this now. I don't want to have a child unless I'm 100% on board with the relationship. I agree; children don't fix marriages.

  37. No offense to the families, but screw them—this is your rest-of-your-life we are talking about, not theirs. If you are even factoring that into the equation, get out, man. The relationship has run its course.

  38. Yup, I think it's natural! Feel free to ask more questions.

  39. For the sake of discussion, while the term is undoubtedly overused and misapplied, I think there’s a gray area. Because when it comes to personality disorders, in other people, it’s really hard to tell what’s “intentional,” especially when they have a warped sense of reality or “manipulate” reactively. Being around someone who constantly projects, or blames, for example, is crazy-making.

  40. I agree with literally everything you said, except your conclusion that I aim to change anyone or anything. Free will is a hard and fast law, I believe. You are correct in your conclusion that I do aim to help people have less fear—if that resonates with them.

  41. Thanks for your kind words. The first paragraph of my comment was sort of separate from the rest; overall I wasn’t trying to say we are misaligned at all, just musing on two worldviews, one that highlights a good vs evil struggle and one that is more about bringing our light into what otherwise could be a dark world. I haven’t had many occasions to write about that, so it’s fun to talk about it.

  42. Once again, you have shared some wise and potent words! I’m really glad that you’ve added to this conversation! I may have a few good thoughts and/or realizations from time to time, but I’m just one person and I still wrestle with my ego more that I usually care to admit aloud. That has become paramount to me, as has admitting when I have been wrong. I very obviously misread some elements of your response, and I apologize for that! You have added significantly to my journey, to this group and to the collective consciousness, and I’m grateful to have met you! ☺️🙏

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