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  1. Could you tell me why you think so? The reason I settled on SD is that I don't really look good or feel comfortable in drapes. Except maybe pieces that are very structured at the shoulders. Otherwise I look bulky, with bones sticking out. Also, as far as I can tell, hourglass can be a bone feature (it is in my case) and is not restricted to type.

  2. OMG. 🤦‍♀️ I think I'm facing a truth I've been trying to avoid all my life. I'll just go and have my epiphany quietly now. 😅 (Yes, SD fits the bill and all that "yin flesh" is probably me missing a few workouts.)

  3. I managed to graduate from both high school and college with honors and then got a PhD, all with undiagnosed ADHD. (In psychology no less. 😜 Social psychology, but still. You’d think someone might have noticed at some point.) It didn’t even occur to me until I read an article at 35 about adult women being diagnosed that there might be something to explain why it seemed that certain things that other did easily that were so much harder for me. I found a therapist who specialized in adult ADHD using Psychology today’s find a therapist tool. She did some assessments and had me fill out some questionnaires. Also had me pick two other people to answer some similar questions (I had my mom and my partner do the questionnaires.) The difficulty with task initiation. With task switching. The need for the pressure of a deadline. The tendency for my brain to go in 19 directions at once. The hyperfocus on things of interest. The extreme difficulty doing things I don’t like until under extreme pressure. All of it added up to an unquestioned diagnosis of ADHD-Inattentive.

  4. I could have written this, word for word. And my field is education. 🤦🏼‍♀️😅 I've always done well at school, it's the adult stuff (like looking for a job after my PhD and parenting) I suck terribly at.

  5. Congratulations! I didn't do anything too special after my defence. My boyfriend and I had travelled back to the university town from our new home 3 hours away so we stayed for a couple of nights, sightseeing and visiting our old haunts. I did buy myself a car as a reward when I handed in my thesis though!

  6. These sound so nice. I think the haze of "disappointment" is fading and my brain is starting to function again. 😅 Planning holidays, even tentatively or hypothetically sounds like a great way to celebrate!

  7. Congratulations! Give it a few days and relax :D

  8. I had this problem, still do for the most part but at least I have the tools to overcome it. The stress and anxiety would get so bad that I couldn’t physically stay awake and I’d stress nap.

  9. This is really interesting. COVID hit when I was preparing for my defense and I got saddled with my little girl full time. That is how I felt anyway. After about a week, we worked out this schedule where I could work about 4h/day in 1h increments. I've never been so productive in my life. I had a task for each hour, which usually took that long but if I finished early I got to do whatever I wanted with the remaining time. Then the next hour, the next task and so on. It washed away my anxiety completely, because all I had to do was focus on that one task and leave the worrying for the time I wasn't working. And guess what, no stress when not on PhD duty. So my work-life balance, mood and parenting improved amazingly. My life became enjoyable. I plan on continuing with this method even though my kid is back at school now. Also, bullet journaling was a great help.

  10. OMG! This was me during my whole 8-year PhD. I had therapy for it (way too late!) and that helped a lot. I had literal PTSD symptoms when I saw my supervisor or opened my manuscript. Basically the main message of my therapy was: this is not you. This is the trauma acting in your brain/body. I learned to identify these thoughts/feelings and kinda alienate them from my real thoughts and my daily activities. This way I could go on with my life, do my writing, reading, etc. and whenever the PTSD symptoms showed up I sort of bundled them up and set them aside for specific times when I could meditate or do breathing exercises. Grounding and mindfulness are also good tools. Hope you can conquer this soon, wishing you strength and courage!

  11. I love this post and kudos to you on your decision. I think it's easy to lose sight of the real goal when you're in this treadmill and forget why you're actually sacrificing so much. My case is wildly different and I am proud of my decision to stay in the program, because my ultimate goal is an academic career. There are many success stories and that's great, but in my case I honestly don't see how my PhD will open up any doors. I defended yesterday and I'm already gearing up for the next battle. Had I had a nice job during my program, I'm pretty sure I would have focused on that rather than the doctorate. I might have still finished it one day just because I've always been too invested to let it go, but I'm not even sure that would have been the right decision.

  12. What the heck kind of program lets you know that your defense is in two weeks?

  13. It was planned about 2 months in advance, for mid-March. Then COVID hit, it got postponed indefinitely, and some of my committee members went through some family loss etc. So I'm not really hard on them. I was ready back then, I'm ready now. 😇 They said the email must have gotten stuck somewhere, which may or may not be the case. But, honestly, I'm grateful for the new date, some defenses in my area (a few hours from Northern Italy) are getting pushed to the fall or postponed without a date in sight. 🤷🏻

  14. My personal view is focus on more important things. However, I'd suggest getting the views of your female mentors. Their views are likely to be more valuable than mine + a load of randoms on Reddit.

  15. I might just do that. It's absolutely not about the way I look, it's simply that I don't want to give everyone a shock when they log in. LOL As I said, I find the whole thing rather silly in these circumstances, but I often find details redundant. 🤷🏻

  16. I'm doing a lot of things but it's mostly about time blocking. For tasks, work and free time (i.e. self-care). I had to get a paper planner to do some very minimalistic planning, but I do plan every hour of the day and only plan, do and expect from myself things that are feasible within the given time frame. And make sure I can switch out of work on a regular basis. Also, weekly therapy.

  17. Okay, so the way I can understand this is that you now have a modified dataset arranged so that your x and y values are not paired. So you happen to have an earlier version in which they are? It would be infinitely more simple to work with that.

  18. Yup. But the spearman is calculated on ranked values. Would a scatter plot on raw data represent the speraman correlation that is calculated on ranked values? Wouldn't the plot show a weaker correlation?

  19. I work with SPSS, which doesn't modify the dataset for the calculations. Also gives you scatterplots for the tests, which when I looked looked very similar to the ones calculated separately for the variables. That said,I don'tnt use those as visuals, my field prefers coefficients, thank god. So I'm afraid I'm no help there.

  20. OR, alternatively, you can have histograms/scatterplots of both variables, but that won't necessarily prove your correlations. Although it might work visually.

  21. I posted on the "defending remotely" thread. I sympathize and can totally commiserate. I'm in a very similar position, except I'm in Switzerland, a few hours away from the North of Italy, so we don't even know if I can defend at all. Usually it's a huge deal at my faculty, with preparatory lunch with the committee to break the ice, a big audience and nice reception afterward, then a very nice dinner with committee and partners, where we can get to know each other better and become colleagues. None of that is happening. As things stand right now (Friday evening), me and my local committee will meet in an empty room at an empty university, keeping 2m social distance, with the 2 external members on a voice call. I feel cheated out of all the pleasant and empowering aspects of my defense, which has been reduced to a lousy and awkward oral exam... Part of me really wants to cancel it - but then, I also really want to move on with my life.

  22. With a 70/90 blood pressure, hardly. And that was measured after me running around LOL. I've tried, but then I need a lot of black coffee or matcha and am kinda back to square one.

  23. i'm an colombian barista and trust me, if you really want to taste a good cup of coffee use a moka pot and buy ground coffee (medium roasted)

  24. I like your approach and would love a real machine, BUT, I feel it's pretty much overkill for a solo coffee drinker who drinks 1 or 2 a day. 🤷

  25. Not crazy at all! Many PIs, especially working in psychology of language education, welcome interdisciplinary expertise like yours. It's a particularly interdisciplinary research area. Email some people to see if they have funding, or would like to co-apply for some with you!

  26. I would up the stats training. There are certain stat camps or seminars you can apply to. For example the American Psychiatric Association, APA, ATI (Advance Training Initiatives) sessions provide yearly seminars in the summer on different stats modeling using R, Mplus, SPSS, etc. and provide certificates of completion. That’s just one example to get experience, training, and a paper that says you’re qualified to do such work. I would also look into joining (even as a volunteer) a lab at your local university or research institution. When I first applied to grad schools and didn’t have a lot of luck, I contacted and emailed professors that I had a BA in psychology and was interested in a part time RA position as a volunteer if they had any. I was able to land in two different labs and work until I had enough experience in both linguistics and cognitive neuroscience to feel comfortable to go off to grad school. I am guessing it would be similar if I would change my current research area. Collaborations, networking, and assisting could help you with knowing the field more, having research experience, and hopefully help in publishing field work you help collaborators with.

  27. Same here, in my 2020 Leuchtturm Months & Notebook. I'm actually thinking about ordering a second one, this promises to be a long year. 😂

  28. I was in similar situation. I had a long PhD and at the end I had a baby too. I decided to take a little break and came back home to take a teaching position at local college. This job is not stressful, pays decent salary according to local scales, does not take much of my time, only 9 teaching hours per week, but I have completely abandoned my research and that makes me feel guilty. It has been 3 years since I stuck in this job. I am planning to go for some sabbatical year to do a postdoctoral research. Unfortunately my salary from my current job will not be maintained, and I have to rely on some grant or my own savings, because the lab where I would want to do a research does not have funds to hire me. It is a very uneasy decision to make, and I am still hesitating. I should sacrifice my current comfortable life near friends and family to a research in a great lab located in Bay Area where the cost of living is astronomically high. But I think it may payoff great in future and sometimes it is necessary to take some risk and give it a try. I am curious what you guys would do in my situation. Would you leave your stable but less perspective job and family for a year to work in a lab that you've dreamt for long time at your own expense, so in future you can aim for a job with better perspective?

  29. I might be of a very unpopular opinion, but I'm actually doing it because I LOVE research and academic teaching. If I were in your shoes, and loved my current job, I probably wouldn't do a postdoc for career purposes. Where I live (Europe, humanities/social sciences), academic positions are not all that well paid, and they're incredibly competitive, so are grants. People fresh out of vocational school will have a higher salary than my early postdoc grant. High school teachers definitely earn a lot more than most academics. But I keep hearing about academia being well paid in other countries/fields, so my situation might not be representative.

  30. Good luck. Stay organized and focused. You have a completely clean plate for your post doc compared to where you left off with your PhD. It is hard with the family obligations, so make sure you can plan ahead as much as possible to keep your work time separate from your family time.

  31. Thanks a lot! I'm trying to plan everything out as carefully as possible, as I feel like I'm attempting something that's barely feasible. LOL

  32. Germany would be a good option. Big place, lots of universities and institutes. Cost of living relatively low, even in the bigger cities.

  33. Thanks for sharing! Is your friend living by him/herself? I heard a lot about Switzerland, but with the cost of living I am not sure that salary is enough for a couple.

  34. That's an okay salary for a young couple to get by - if you don't get into skiing LOL. You can do a lot without a car, and, apart from rent, which can be a lot in some cities, other expenses are in line with the salary. You should definitely check what permit and social contributions are covered in the grant/salary though, since healthcare etc. can get costly easily, and on some permits it might be difficult to bring a SO with you.

  35. A regular JoWo #6 may not fit in the 308 without modification. May I suggest saving the JoWo EF for now (for a 309 maybe, in which it will fit) and getting a REF nib unit directly from PenBBS? I think it’s arguably a better nib and of course will fit your pen perfectly.

  36. Thx, I'm keeping my eyes open for those, I hear they're fantastic. At the same time, I seem to be lucky, my Jowo fits seamlessly.

  37. And you’re not having any issue capping the pen all the way?

  38. Nope, none at all. Though I can see how the smallest variation could make a significant difference. The nap in mine when capped all the way is maybe the thickness of 2 sheets of (good) paper. So definitely not a lot. But, as I said, no issues with this particular pen.

  39. I have 2 and they're my absolute favorite pens! (And I own a few next-next level gold nibbed ones.)

  40. I'm getting triggered a bit reading your story LOL so I'll be brief. But basically my first analysis didn't have any of the expected results, so I ended up re-running it with a new model and part of my manuscript is actually a detailed description off my first analysis and how I was able to prove that that type of analysis didn't work with my data. No results are also results! Since yours seems to be article based (live is 500pp of original unpublished text), you might consider making one a methodological one. And it's never late to learn basic statistics. I used SPSS and having done 2 semesters for my MA and 2 online workbooks (university professors tend to share them), I'm a fairly confident user.

  41. I'm sorry you had to go to a similar situation... It's a good suggestion to consider making one article into a methodological one. I don't think the methodology we used is sound enough for that though. My design is questionable at some points. I had some issues even before we started, but my supervisor just brushed them away without any solid arguments... I do think we'll find a way to do something with the data. It's just incredibly frustrating at this point. Especially since everything takes ages when you're just doing it "on the side" on top of a fulltime job (which is also research-based, and sometimes also requires putting in extra hours). I already planned that it would take another 3 years, given that I would just be able to do the obvious analysis. That would add up to 10 years of doing my PhD. If we have to find a different angle, rewrite the article again, ... it will delay me with years.

  42. Can you take a week or so off to do an analysis marathon? Your employer should be amenable to things like this, at least in my country (Europe) a PhD is a big deal and well supported, even if your job is not related. The other thing that comes to mind is that you might want to simplify your data, or focus only on a specific area. I had a 102-question behemoth of a questionnaire, so analysis and write-up took 3 years full-time net (more of you count my long maternity leave). With hindsight, I wish I had just chosen a few interesting angles and saved the rest for future articles. Other than your supervisors, no one knows what you actually did and what data you had, and most probably no one expects you to go into ALL the details. Just my 2 cents, from my field (education) but I'm also an overachiever.

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