1. Sorry, unfortunately I can't relate (hopefully others who respond will) but I just wanted to say please please please don't ghost. There's a human being on the other end of that electronic device and as someone who has been on the receiving end of a ludicrous amount of ghosting in her life it's hard to overstate the emotional damage done by this particular culturally-sanctioned cruelty. Think of it this way, good relationships require good communication and whether or not you choose to meet up with him this is a chance to practice that. Let's work together to change this gross and dismissive practice our generation has normalised. Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

  2. Thanks for giving this exhausted, 7th year PhD student the biggest laugh I’ve had all week.

  3. Haha thank you, I've been running on spite alone for about three years now.

  4. Is my post removed because I said the word "fuck" too much or because I criticized therapy, the magical thing we're supposed to believe is the solution to all the problems created by our toxic capitalistic society?

  5. lnys says:

    the bot isn't that advanced, it sometimes removes threads without a clear reason.

  6. no worries. I always assume my proclivity for swearing will eventually get me blocked or something haha

  7. Why don’t you explain to him exactly what you said here, as kindly and respectfully as possible? You seem to have enough empathy to understand that as someone with few friends, it was a deeper friendship for him than it was for you, so please have enough empathy to communicate directly. Ghosting is cowardly and immature and can cause unbelievable anguish especially for those of us who experience it a lot. Not every friendship is meant to last, but he still deserves the respect of honest and direct communication.

  8. Been baking a lot in this lockdown. Made soft pretzels, bagels, sour cream and onion scones, and Naples-style pizza dough. Plus a lot of other random stuff. I also made rendang which was delicious and my first foray into Indonesian food. It’s been fun.

  9. I know what you mean. Sometimes it feels like we’ve been sold this lie that if we’re interesting people with stuff going on for us eventually people will want to be part of our lives. I’d still rather be interesting than boring, but it has not escaped my notice that most of the guys I’ve ever been interested in have ended up dating girls whose entire personalities are being a yoga instructor.

  10. Just feeling really alone lately. Even though I'm lucky that now I have more friends than I did, I still feel lonely a lot since they really don't understand me, and most of them are incapable of being an emotional support system, or even just having a slightly normal conversation.

  11. I don't get asked this a lot (maybe people can just tell by looking at me?) but I'm usually just honest if it's someone I consider a friend. If they judge me for spending my time traveling and getting an education instead of hooking up with mediocre men then they are not a person worth having as a friend.

  12. https://i.pinimg.com/originals/92/80/8a/92808ac5129e1b7dcbeec783d3b06ba0.jpg

  13. Niles and Daphne from Frasier (except watching this show gave me some very terrible notions around romantic longing)

  14. Hey. I identify a lot with this situation as it has some similarities to a situation I had several years ago. I am definitely NOT telling you to do the same thing I did, but since I can empathize with this I figured I would share my experience.

  15. Thanks for writing your story, it seems to be somewhat similar.

  16. I was honestly shocked. The weirdest bit was how I came to her for help on trust issues in interpersonal relationships and she immediately turned it into "guys like blonde hair." Ok???? Not even the issue at hand. She even dyed her hair red (I'm a redhead). I feel like women who dye their hair red are always the meanest to me for absolutely no reason (I'm generalizing a bit but I don't care). Like go dye your hair blonde instead you're so worried about what men think. My hair is the only thing I've actually liked about my looks. I feel like I paid money just to have her "neg" me due to her own weird issues. The worst bit is I was starting to actually feel ok about my looks until she brought them up out of nowhere, I hadn't even actually mentioned the body dysmorphia to her yet as I wanted to deal with trust issues first and then she tells me I'm too ugly for love out of nowhere.

  17. I'm very camera-avoidant myself (video or photo). I'm just really, really unphotogenic, I carry weight on my face and have a weird jawline/chin which is not visually appealing. I vividly remember the first time I saw myself on video and I was viscerally shocked at how bad I looked compared to the others on the screen. I also remember seeing a photo taken of me as a teen by a friend, where I was looking off to the side and I literally looked like I was trying to push my chin up to the sky, my jaw was that much off kilter. I asked her to destroy the photo. I HATE being forced to Facetime or video Whatsapp with family overseas, but there's really no way to avoid it without seeming rude or weird. I really feel you.

  18. Yeah, I feel this so hard. I basically avoid video calls and I've started putting tape over my screen where my face is so I don't have to see it and can focus on the call (only works with certain layouts though). Being unphotogenic sucks, I have to sometimes be on camera for my work (presenting videos and stuff) and every time I basically lose three days to crying in bed afterwards. Now I just refuse to watch even if it offends the person who made the video.

  19. Never read it but I always hear it mentioned in pop culture and stuff. This reasoning probably goes for the average confident man, but I still like to think there are still shy men around who aren’t necessarily going to aggressively pursue you even if they really like you. Maybe this is just a lie I tell myself.

  20. I don’t play games but Inspector Waffles is the cutest name ever :)

  21. They really tolerate it as long as they like you. Physically, of course.

  22. I agree. I think they will tolerate this sort of toxic behavior for awhile but when they eventually get sick of it they'll blame all women for being "toxic"/"crazy"/ instead of owning up to the fact that they put up with being treated like shit because they were getting their dick wet.

  23. Show jumping, though been working on training my nutter at the moment. And she's going in foal next season, so I'll have to find something else! :(

  24. Amazing! That sounds so cool! Sorry about next season though :( are you able to ride another horse for the season? I don't know anything about the sport (clearly), I have just done the tiniest bit of western riding recreationally :)

  25. I actually had a pretty good day, my physiotherapist cleared me to do deadlifts again (with light weight) which I have been looking forward to since the day I broke my ankle since they work some magic on my mental outlook. Then I told my officemate that I was allowed to do deadlifts again, and he told me (verbatim quote), "I don't care."

  26. Sorry my annoying sexist colleagues aren't up to your standards of needing a vent!

  27. as many others have said you are very beautiful, but more than that I was so impressed by your honesty and vulnerability in that post. You sound like a kickass, cool, and level-headed woman who is working hard at improving the things you want to improve for yourself. Vulnerability not desperation and I admire your bravery in your post. I also saw your comment about wanting to feel loved while you improve yourself and I feel that. :)

  28. Thank you for the offer, but no, I can't handle that right now.

  29. You said you‘d like a friend that reaches out to you, if you have snapchat I can add you and I‘d reach out to you every day, we can just have casual conversation over text, I could show you my dogs and maybe that would help you feel a bit better?

  30. Hi, actual life changer here. My life should be a dream life but I'm ending it in four months when I turn 30 (after feeling the exact same way as OP few years ago) because no matter what I do I get rejected, ostracized, humiliated, insulted, or just plain ignored by every other goddamn human on this planet (except for when they want some career/life advice, oh the irony). I still have exactly zero people to spend my 30th birthday with, zero people who give a fuck, who will even notice when I die.

  31. Oh I just melt the beeswax, no additional oil. I guess I should tho I remember one recipe suggesting adding jojoba, probably help with the tackyness? I experimented more on the fabric I used for the wrap.

  32. Ah gotcha! Yeah I think the jojoba is supposed to help with the tackiness, I think mine weren't super tacky (just enough) but had an oily sheen which wasn't ideal. Maybe next time they will turn out better.

  33. Apparently my body is as good at healing bones as it is at having relationships. 6 weeks of healing and my bone has done....nothing. It looks exactly the same as the x-rays from the first day.

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