joyofbeing




























  1. Someone explain the down vote, because you're basically saying I'm not welcome in the SAHP group. Many of the comments are dead giveaways, so that's not a valid reason.

  2. I wouldn't stress about a single downvote too much, sometimes it's bots that downvote. Or it could just be someone who downvoted by accident, or they had some other reason/thought process. They're most likely not gonna explain it, so try not to let it get to you.

  3. When people try to make plans and ask what day I'm free, the answer is sort of both "whenever" and also "never" simultaneously (and largely depends on whether a toddler could come)

  4. I also often ask myself "wtf is wrong with me!!" in frustration.

  5. Ask him: "if I want to play WoW too, when can I take a week off being a SAHP to do that?"

  6. Yes, true, my husband used to sit forever and game when he was younger, I used to be and to do that with TV as well! However, with kids, they need to be more important than your screen! I always have to remind myself to put down the phone for this very reason!

  7. For sure. Breaks are important but kids have to factor into the equation

  8. I would externalize it by saying "stinky diaper" instead of "stinky boy." That way, there's no internalization that it's his fault he's stinky or he's done something wrong. It's the diaper that is stinky and it's normal that it stinks and it's normal to not want to smell a stinky diaper. That said, I would just be observant of what it's like for him to hear it. Does he laugh too? Does he get upset when you say it? Does it seem to change his behavior around diaper changes at all?

  9. Observing the kid's reaction is great advice!

  10. You both seem way smarter than I am so I apologize if this is a bit “baby’s first discourse” but I feel like it’s sort of the difference between defining and experiencing? I agree with everything you’ve said btw, I guess this is just me expressing the same ideas in my own words.

  11. I like where your head's at with this distinction and it is important to consider both the facts of a disorder, and the lived experience of it - you're on the right track in terms of thinking sociologically!

  12. Well I read it all and it expanded my understanding, so thank you for the edifying response :)

  13. You're very welcome! And thank you for reading it all the way through, I know we all have ADHD here and as I was writing it I was keenly aware how ADHD-unfriendly long text is 😂 I tried to keep it shorter than essay-length lol

  14. Based on the title and the first sentence saying your freezer stash is gone, I literally went through most of this post with the understanding that your SO drank your freezer stash and I was like... why the fuck would this jerk do that?? Lol I was so angry until I got to the part about refusing to waste it... then I was confused, and had to re-read the whole post 😂

  15. I feel like we should have a daily thread here called "why did your toddler tantrum today" at this point 😂

  16. Lmao I know right. She has NO CHILL she also is a Halloween junkie (we all are) and for the last 6 months she only answers to “brother zombie” 🧟‍♀️ if I call her by her name, that’s another tantrum.

  17. LOL brother zombie is a lovely name 😂 Maybe next time she asks if you're alive you can say, "well I might look alive but I'm dead inside" and see if that helps

  18. That is a very intense title that provided me very little information about what I'm looking at

  19. They're okay. I struggle with life in general - I'm pretty scatterbrained - so don't feel like I have a handle on anything but I imagine it'd be a lot harder if the gaps were smaller! I don't know how I'd have coped with a toddler and a baby.

  20. Scatterbrained as in ADHD? If so come join us over in

  21. Pretty sure! I can't get my shit together enough to get diagnosed lol

  22. I found the diagnosis hugely helpful, I know it's a bunch of hoops to jump through but it's worth it :)

  23. I'd say... pick your battles and create situations that set yourself up for success.

  24. I agree about all this but especially the "if you're good" comment. I don't think it's a good idea to teach kids that they're "good" or "bad", and they get rewarded accordingly. This can get really tricky.

  25. I only knew about it cause I stumbled across a TikTok that was a pediatrician saying things she’d never do with her kids!

  26. Wait what are the other things this pediatrician wouldn't do with her kids? I didn't know about the slide thing until now so wondering what else I don't know 😱

  27. Responding differently to pointing can be an autistic trait.

  28. I usually use pointing just to provide the general direction, then I use words to fill in the rest - "my bike is the purple one over there [point in general direction] next to that really tall tree"

  29. I've just been starting a conversation about random things like, "hi I love the rain coat your kid is wearing, where's that from? I'm looking for something similar for my little one" or whatever other thing is applicable. Then just chat about stuff for a bit. Talk about how old the kids are, whether they go to the toddler group often, if they have other kids... you know typical parent small talk.

  30. Please tell me there is an answer to this. Mine is refusing to walk forward today. Only spinning.

  31. My 18 month old likes to walk backwards and say "fun! Fun! Fuuunnn"

  32. We are on month 2 of robot vac (Obi Wan Cleanobi) and it still works! My daughter will yell that “Obi wan cannot get it!” and move her toys (and self) out of the way!

  33. I understand that you're frustrated about feeling like OP is trying to box people in. So I'm not calling you out or coming for you, I'm just hoping we can tap into compassion and talk about this from a different perspective.

  34. I have ADHD. Every ADHDer is different, and I don't have autism so please take everything I say with a grain of salt and consult folks who have autism - but here's what I noticed in my own self.

  35. Can I ask more about the career change? Like… how? I know I could start at the bottom of the food chain, but between inability to do boring monotonous work, issues with authority, and demand avoidance and the typical ADHD issues… 🤷🏻‍♀️ I’ve looked and not found anything (yet! Will obvs keep looking)

  36. Would you have to start at the bottom? Is there anything that could use your current experience but not be exactly the same job? Sort of like a horizontal move instead of a vertical climbing of the job ladder.

  37. I like daiyas cheese and ice creams, but that pizza is fucking horrible!

  38. I guess I'm in the minority here but I actually love the daiya pizzas! my favourite is the pepperoni.

  39. Wait what's wrong with black and gold, does it signify something I don't know about? or do you just not like it? (Not being sarcastic or anything, genuinely asking!)

  40. Ohhh I had no idea, maybe OP didn't know either

  41. No need to be defensive and spout hyperbole. You made a claim and I was curious if you knew something I did not. Simple as that, so thank you for the first paragraph of your response.

  42. I got a passive aggressive vibe from "Do you have a scientific paper to back this claim? This is, after all, a science-based sub."

  43. We do a snack around 11:30, nap at noon, then a full meal when she wakes up around 2.

  44. This is what we do too (exact same schedule)

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