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  1. I suggest you get a babysitter every time you have date night. Make sure the sitter has a bulldog mentality. She’ll hate it but point out “if you going to act like a dependant every time we want some couples time, we’ll treat you like you need a carer.”

  2. That is a brilliant idea. Getting a sitter and letting her know where everything is and what she could possibly need and then completely switching off.

  3. As someone whose mum is like this, it took me way too long to realise that her love and approval of me is conditional and is always highly critical of me and likes to put me down.

  4. It sounds like you do. Not sure how the process will go for you. I'm worried about being told I might not have adhd either and have procrastinating about contacting my gp(also uk).

  5. Firstly I'd like to commiserate on your loss and congratulate how you then handled it all.

  6. Thank you. I think part of my fear in leaving is not just in being alone but also that inevitably he will be alone and his mom will be alone (without me) with my son and I wont' be able to make sure things are ok

  7. Maybe now is the time to put your foot down about her access to your son. Perhaps she shouldn't have that privilege if she continues to behave as she does towards you. That child is yours and not hers, you can make the decision of who gets to be around him and who you deem to be an appropriate adult in his life.

  8. I have a friend of mine that had said that some gp's will not accept private prescriptions from psychiatrists and it is best to look for another gp that accepts shared care agreements.

  9. I’ll look into that, thanks. I find it so crazy though, how can it be right that some GPs just flat out refuse to accept it and others don’t, with the same qualified psychiatrist? And it’s just luck of the drawer?

  10. You would think so but ultimately it comes down to money. Each trust has different financial situations and ADHD meds as you've mentioned is costly.

  11. You're right, it isn't fair. As much as you love your grandmother and she helped raise you, ultimately she has an adult son who should be taking on that responsibility, whether that is being her primary carer or finding help for her that doesn't include you derailing your life.

  12. Thank you for taking the time to read my post and understanding my perspective. 🫶🏼

  13. It wasn't hard to understand. You're an incredibly empathetic person and clearly love your grandmother and have been put in an emotionally impossible situation by your dad.

  14. Accept her for who she is. She has made it clear that you cannot rely on her no matter what she says because she always has an excuse to cancel. Her complaining about how many kids you have and then criticising you for wanting a break to spend time with your husband on your anniversary no less should show you how little she cares about her own grandchildren and you.

  15. I am 36 just starting to fully understand that my mother isn't really rooting for me. It's really hurtful in a way that nothing else could ever be when you realise that your own mother would rather put you down or sabotage you than to see you happy and live the life that you choose.

  16. The best thing that I have done is to redefine family. I choose to surround myself with and be involved with people who are supportive. I know there will be times that we let each other down - after all, we are flawed humans. But the overall relationship is positive and helpful. The more good I have in my life, the less dependent that I am on the negative. I am stronger and less manipulated.

  17. I don't think there's any shame in trying ED pills. Have you spoken to your wife about this? You may find that she would be more understanding than you realise.

  18. Sorry to say but you're talking nonsense. I do get that sex can be something important for most people but your sex life doesn't determine well...you. Asexual, castrated, erectile disfunction or meds, none of that makes you less manly (unless a person doesn't want to feel that way ofc). If it was for me, even tho I'm heterosexual, I'd choose a sharp mind over some trivial instincts(but that's just me). Just be honest with your wife, doctors and yourself and everything will work out sooner or later. And of course remember, better to have one of two than none, you're still more lucky than half of us.

  19. That's a little insensitive to say he's talking nonsense. He literally wrote about something personal about himself. The least you can do is be a little more empathetic or say nothing. Saying he is luckier than half of people is quite dismissive of his issue.

  20. can we all agree its not fuckin pocahontas though

  21. To be fair, they're all good meals. You can always add some chickpeas, canellini or kidney beans or even lentils to give you that protein.

  22. I would love to send you a reminder but I'm in the UK and it would be something like 3am for me 😔

  23. I ended up completely getting rid of my Facebook and Instagram account. After a few months I felt less anxious and my head wasn't buzzing as much. I tried to re-engage with Facebook 6months later and after 2weeks of being back I felt really overwhelmed and anxious and then closed it permanently again.

  24. I bulk cook some rice and some curry or make a pasta bake and just reheat them out of the fridge.

  25. I’ve heard/read it’s worse the week before and during. I’ve experienced it myself! Kind of sucks cuz that’s like 2 out of the 4 weeks lol.

  26. It's the same for me too. The emotions go haywire, concentration is even worse than usual and I am even clumsier. Literally half the month every month.

  27. If you can access the lecture notes ahead of class and put them on software that let's you annotate on it would be helpful.

  28. Full disclosure, I am now seriously concerned because I peeped your profile and Wheel of Time and Grace and Frankie are two of my fav shows 😵

  29. 😳 wow, how about weird? Lol but so glad to know there's another me somewhere. BTW love your name!

  30. Uhm absolutely. I have always said "I am a jack of all trades and a master of none." Both in pride and deep sadness.

  31. Are you me?! This is exactly what teachers used to say to/about me. Man I loved to chat to others. Still do. Haven't been able to graduate uni despite trying to complete it 3 times 🙃

  32. I asked to have a cleaner come at our house since november, she said we'll see after Christmas how the finances are going since I'm really bad at handling money. We are talking more about it since I'm struggling more but she says that a cleaner comes to clean everything not to put away everything in their respective place and closing the closets.

  33. I can see both sides here. It is difficult for both of you but you both need to cut each other some slack. Calling you "lazy" is really unhelpful too.

  34. You are juggling a lot of responsibilities and taking care of kids and active pets is already a lot of work without adding in your job and your wife's need to have a home that looks like something out of a magazine.

  35. I joined a meetup group and went on group hikes, it got me out of my head and I felt tired but amazing at the end of each hike.

  36. honestly i don’t remember school at all before it all i remember is i use to hate when teachers would like have work sheets where you’d have to listen to them talk about a lot of stuff and the answer was in what they where saying because i’d zone out and not hear them so i’d have to ask people for the answer

  37. Maybe get a second opinion. Memory lapses and zoning out/inability to focus is also a symptom.

  38. my mom said mine whwre always good they only said i was always quiet (i have bad anxiety so i don’t talk a lot in school) but my mom says she doesn’t think i have it but i haven’t asked my dad

  39. Best advice I can give it to ask her what she would find helpful, if she's not sure, you can make suggestions e.g. having a calender on the wall, sending her text reminders etc.

  40. You're a boss! I'm still learning to not beat myself up about it and stop that cycle of shame in my head. Hoping to get to your level of acceptance. Have a great day and hope your meeting goes well.

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