letsanthropologize


























  1. Omg I am obsessed with your hair! Also your gorgeous orchid bouquet and the gloves. So beautiful and original!

  2. This is sadly something I’ve noticed in wedding planning, which is vendors getting you to agree to a price for one service, then trying to get you to agree to a lower level of service with no discount or refund. This is happening with one of our venue spaces. Call them on their BS and get that cake.

  3. I think they're asking you to do this because it makes their life much easier, not because it benefits you 🤷🏾‍♀️

  4. Exactly. I think a foam cake and serving sheet cake would be a great option if it was being contrasted as the $200 alternative to a $2k real cake for serving. If OP is paying $2k they should get a work of art made of tasty edible cake. Also be wary of something another Wedditor posted about which was the catering staff carving up their cake in the back before they could do the cake cutting. As long as you’re ok with whatever lag time is necessary for them to turn one tier of cake into 90 slices (which really shouldn’t be too hard, it’s not like they have to process all 5 tiers), stand your ground that the tradition of cutting and serving your guests the actual wedding cake is important to you. Not every couple still does this but it’s not unreasonable to expect wedding caterers to be capable of serving wedding cake this way. Now I’m craving cake 🍰🤣

  5. We are doing this with invitations in both Telugu (south India) and English (U.S.) and are getting them printed in India with help from relatives who live in India. Unfortunately I don’t think the go-to easy and affordable U.S. stationary companies like Minted, etc are inclusive of the different scripts, characters, and accent marks needed for many languages, whereas other countries’ stationary companies are also equipped to print the Roman alphabet, so perhaps you could order some from Vietnam? Otherwise you may need to work with a graphic designer to customize your invitations, which would definitely cost more than the big online companies like Minted but would be worth it for the inclusivity and souvenir value of a bilingual invitation if your budget has room. ☺️

  6. Hi there! Sorry to revive this month-old comment, but I was wondering if you had any update on whether your tailor okay-ed the changes? I have similar concerns about the bodice of my dress not fitting to my body, having wrinkles under the bust, etc. and am scared of how costly it may be to rework the bust area.

  7. Hi! Thanks for asking - the pinned alterations looked amazing for only $360! The tailor will have me try it on again next week so I don’t have the finished product yet but that’s the final cost unless we make more changes next week. I live in a LCOL U.S. city just FYI. Here’s how all the issues described in the post were fixed and what I got for $360:

  8. Next to. It is much easier to hear the person you are next to than across from. The only language my husband and I share is English and it is his third language. It makes a huge difference to him in restaurants for us to sit on the same side because cutting through background chatter in your third language is a lot harder than in your native language. You never know who among your guests might have a reason their hearing and understanding in noisy social situations isn’t the same as yours, so seating guests on the same side as their partner, family, plus one, etc could make a huge difference in comfort to your guests. ☺️

  9. I and most others on Weddit agree photography is a high priority. However, when you’re talking about saving money on photography, that could mean something ill-advised like asking a friend or nonprofessional to take photos (nooooo please don’t do this!!!), or it could mean something reasonable like hiring a professional and highly recommended photographer for less time or a less expensive package with a single photographer instead of a second shooter and drone, etc. While I personally would look to trim the budget in other areas, I think if you’re still using a reputable photographer and you’re just downgrading from a deluxe package to their essentials-only package you should be fine. Almost all professional photographers are amazing and miles beyond what a well meaning friend or relative could do, so as long as you still have a professional capturing the most important moments to you with their skilled eye, you won’t have regrets. As a side note for other budget trimming options - while a DJ is really nice, I think the extras in their higher end packages are usually things you won’t miss (lighting and fog machines, etc) so you could save a bit by getting an essentials-only DJ package.

  10. In DC it can be very convenient because you don’t need the legal power of an officiant, however it can also be very awkward and lack any feeling of structure or specialness. After none of the courts near us were performing weddings, for our COVID legal wedding I thought self-officiating sounded very appropriate for our personalities and beliefs but when we actually did it in front of immediate family it just bombed and felt so cringe and embarrassing and now I would never do it again or advise anyone to do it unless it’s actually part of their faith or cultural tradition and others in attendance can appreciate it (Quaker, Bahai’i, etc). You could always use the self-officiating option to assume the legal responsibility under your name if you’d like to have someone actually fill that role ceremonially who doesn’t have the legal power. At the very least, have someone in the role of an MC who can give it some structure even if they’re announcing that you’re self-uniting, etc. Missing that moment of someone “pronouncing” us married is a big regret. Just my two cents.

  11. It seems like a really sweet personal connection. Is your mom in the picture? In addition to asking your dad, if your relationship with your mom is also positive I would ask her feelings about it because if she was also an equally invested super young parent who made sacrifices, and then only your dad gets honored for that at your wedding, that could be hurtful to her.

  12. That’s a great point! Mom is also amazing and definitely in the picture. They are no longer together if that matters. My fiancé’s mother passed away a few years ago so she is actually doing the mother/groom dance with him.. I don’t think she will feel slighted as she is also included in an extra special way though different.

  13. Ah ok that makes a lot of sense if she is also participating in a different special dance. After both of these dances there won’t be a dry eye in the house! 🥹

  14. Not sure whether we’re defining “academically fine” as “despite social isolation and other issues, patents did provide adequate academic education” OR “despite parents not providing adequate academic education, I was able to self-teach well enough to catch up and excel”. Those are two very different things and I see both in these comments. I “came out fine” because I learned to be my own teacher despite my parents almost never actually teaching me (probably <50 hours of teaching over 12 years, which is very little when you average it out). Scored 97th percentile ACT composite. Bachelor of Science with 3.9 GPA. I want to reassure people you CAN do it without this being a shitty bOoTsTrApS message. Also, everyone has different strengths. Academics are very easy for me just like others may have various talents. The average person probably can not self-teach the way I could and I would never hold anyone to that standard and say “well I did it so you must not have tried hard enough”. No one should have to do what I did.

  15. Congratulations on the vaccines and so sorry for your loss. No need to answer if this is too personal, but just because of the juxtaposition here and how you coped by getting immunized, I’m wondering was the death of your partner related to lack of immunizations or other healthcare? Once again, my condolences and congrats for being brave and not getting put off when your doctor’s office was unable to help you. I got my shots as an adult at a health department too. ☺️

  16. Thank you so much! For what it's worth, my partner did not physically die--only our relationship! I probably should have worded that a bit more clearly aha! :)

  17. Ohhh ok I see that you said “relationship”, I apologize for misinterpreting and while I’m sure the breakup is devastating in its own way, I’m glad no one died. I think I misunderstood because unfortunately, there have been several posts on here where homeschooling survivors are coping with siblings and other homeschoolers they know taking their own lives, or extreme outcomes of medical neglect. That’s not to minimize what you’re actually going through - I certainly relate to the partner’s family not approving thing, I’ve been through that. Also I think as homeschooling survivors we can get too invested in relationships because we’re used to the dynamic of our parents being our whole world and doing anything to earn their love, so breakups can be extra intense for us. I think having any sort of trauma background makes breakups harder because we always worry if it’s because of the trauma and that this one breakup is evidence we’re inherently flawed. In reality, people can just not be compatible, can act like jerks, be close-minded, etc and it’s not evidence that we’ll never find happiness. Things will get better! 💜

  18. Exactly - disappointments like promised guitar lessons or soccer tryouts can happen with public school parents too, but with homeschooling it’s also promises like “I’ll teach you math” and “I’ll take you to the doctor”. Some basic amount of education is guaranteed in public school as well as required medical exams like vision and hearing and immunizations.

  19. It’s called tension set and it’s gorgeous! I loved this style too but ultimately my preference to pair my e-ring with a conventional wedding band meant this style wouldn’t work for me. It’s stunning though 🥰

  20. Go for it. Everyone will push low buns because they’re the trend right now. Try updos at different heights and see which is the most flattering to the lines of your face. Low buns are not always flattering on everyone. Also, it doesn’t matter if it’s high or low, if it’s overly “messy” it will go from sexy messy to just falling apart messy pretty fast. Especially if your hair is thick and you don’t need lots of teased pieces for volume, consider tighter rolls / coils and braids so it doesn’t look like a nest 1 hr into the event.

  21. Actually this is one of the rare makeup trials on here that gets it right! You look like yourself, but with more definition of your features. Beautiful!

  22. First of all, lovely dress!! I think you should definitely get a tailor (or two or three’s) quote on if they could do it and how much it would cost. Even if you purchase a dress for your current size, it will still be whatever the closest standard size is and require alterations (not a 30 lb size difference, but everyone’s torso is different so some alterations for torso length and bust height are inevitable on all dresses). I think the cost of a new dress and it’s alterations from a standard size to your body would definitely be more expensive than alterations to re-size this dress. Ask the tailor if they have any pictures or reviews from previous alterations that involved that much sizing down. My seamstress is amazing and her webpage has tons of reviews of more extreme alterations, like re-sizing tiny family heirloom vintage gowns for modern brides, etc. I even watched a video recently where a seamstress sized up a gown from bridal 8 to 14 and it was a mermaid with beading all over the body. There are definitely people out there who can do it, it’s just a question of if you have anyone like that in your area, whether their quote is acceptable to you, etc. Good luck and post updates if you decide to go this route! ☺️

  23. In my husband’s culture the “tying the knot” is a necklace the husband places around the wife’s neck. I’m a little vague on details because it’s not my culture but what he and his family keep repeating is that even though most people like to have that necklace be gold if they can afford it, all that technically needs to be there for the marriage to be valid is a thread and turmeric root, which has a romantic simplicity. I know you said you’d like the officiant to do it but adorning your bride with something significant to you is another idea. A marriage necklace is also a great alternative to rings if your fiancé finds wearing rings uncomfortable due to her needs.

  24. I’m confused by this bc DC is definitely cosmopolitan and there are definitely non Christian officiants all over. I live here

  25. We don’t live in DC. We live in a neighboring state and chose to have a legal ceremony in DC because they offered self-officiating, and they’re fine if you live out of state and want to get married there. Obviously DC is cosmopolitan lol

  26. I’m not understanding why you couldn’t find a DC based non Christian officiant, that’s all. So many international people live here.

  27. Because we didn’t need to find an officiant if we could self-officiate? This was one of those “legal now, celebrate later” pandemic situations last summer. We wanted to just do it at a courthouse in our rural town in the DC-adjacent state in which we live, but all 3 local courts weren’t doing marriages. We realized if we were going to travel to find a secular officiant, we’d be traveling almost as far as DC where we could self-officiate, which appealed to both of us more than an officiant with which we had no relationship.

  28. You're the gift, man. Your promise of forever. I wouldn't worry about it unless it's specifically been discussed.

  29. I actually agree with this, I wouldn’t expect any gift from my husband on the wedding day other than his promise to spend his life with me and the work he’s put into planning the wedding with me. I’ll already be wearing jewelry that he’s gifted me previously. However, whether or not to give a gift wasn’t OP’s question. While an iPad mini isn’t something she’ll use forever, for a few years she’ll use it daily and be reminded of the gift occasion so that’s kinda neat. Also there’s no reason you can’t save it after it’s usefulness is done. Future generations might get a kick out of seeing technology from the past just like we enjoy old phones and typewriters today.

  30. I’d say you absolutely belong here! We’re here to help each other find solutions, not to compete or gate-keep. It sounds like you’ve done your best to keep your own education on track, which is commendable, but you should not have to be responsible for your sister’s education, that’s an unfair burden that does a disservice to both of you. You mentioned you experienced bullying and a negative environment in school but is there any reason your sister was also homeschooled? It sounds like your sister really needs the structure of school, both for education and behavior. For yourself, I’m sure it’s scary to try public school again after you had a negative experience but I think you’re right to do so and you will have access to much better resources to help you get into college and find programs to pay for it if you go to school and have access to teachers and guidance counselors. Bullying is never acceptable and I know it’s difficult but you should absolutely bring all bullying to the attention of school authorities and fight for your right to learn in a respectful and safe environment. Good luck!!

  31. I'm not sure why my sister was homeschooled but the reason is likely that my mom wanted both of us to go to school or be homeschooled. She has asked recently about going back to school.

  32. Yeah I’ve come across that as a reason for various parenting choices - “it’s just easier if they both do the same thing”. Kids are unique people with unique needs. Fortunately it sounds like your parents aren’t deeply invested in the identity of being homeschoolers, it was just what they needed to at a particular point in time. Hopefully that means they’ll be open to sending you all to school now that circumstances have changed. How has it gone when you’ve brought up public school with your mom?

  33. In the region where we’re having our wedding, large (10’x8’) LED screens are a popular wedding decor item and the couple usually do a glam photo shoot in advance that gets projected on the screen. My husband and I didn’t want to do the extra photoshoot or have so much of us on the screen so I’m making a slideshow of family wedding and other significant photos going back 5 generations on my side and 4 on his. We’re an intercultural couple so both sides aren’t as familiar with the wedding traditions of the other side. I’m also trained in archaeology and museum curation so this is a customization two-fer: family photos as decor and showcasing my nerdy interest ☺️

  34. Wow that’s lovely and unique! The french braided portion probably added some nice crown volume too.

  35. Asked my bridesmaids their opinion as I'm so indecisive and they've agreed on 'Hair down, loosely curled, with most of it pinned back, but with a few curls framing my face' and I'm going to be wearing a flower crown, so don't massively want a low bun. My main aim is to look like a wood nymph! XD

  36. Choosing a hairstyle based on what kind of hair accessories you want (flower crown, tiara, veil style, etc) makes a lot of sense! That’s so nice you created a collaborative look for your party that everyone got input on. ☺️

  37. Yes, I am an Elder Homeschool Graduate. The other ancient ones here understand. 😂

  38. Because it gives us hope and encouragement and something to look forward to and we like celebrating each other’s victories at all stages of homeschooling recovery! Also a lot of us on this sub are in our 30s and up, we are still recovering homeschoolers.

  39. I love the Moth radio hour and podcast but their musical intro is just a super loud obnoxious brass atonal “fart” that just goes on and on… and I’ve almost driven off the road because I’m scrambling to turn it down on that part but not miss the storytellers. I always wonder how many sound sensory people love the Moth but hate it’s theme music 😂

  40. I'm a little shocked this is on a marriage application in 2022! Is this common?

  41. Got married in DC and didn’t have any questions like this cringy one. But I think marriage license applications vary a lot state to state based on what I’ve seen in this sub. I highly recommend DC though, they are very streamlined and allow self-officiating. ☺️

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