Dealing with harassment on here

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  • By - lnys

  1. To be fair, it's something you see in most people who are successful. It's the same as the 30 yo dude with a successful business that preaches "gotta grind every single day non-stop" on LinkedIn but conveniently forgets to mention that after paying for his fancy university, Daddy also paid for his first failed attempts, paid for his flat and had a network ready to invest into his trust-fund kid's venture. He didn't have to work against people's prejudices or perceptions of him, he didn't have to give up studying to pay the bills, and even if he failed, it would have had no impact on his ability to pay for food or rent.

  2. Please don't believe for a minute it's your "ugliness" that is to blame. I remember seeing your picture and you have nothing to be ashamed of :-) Unfortunately there is a lot of racists in France and you are also much taller than most women there. I think that the height + skin colour can put off men or give them a wrong idea of you, like being tall = dominant etc. Tall women are expected to be model looking or they are relegated to the mannish corner. And you know how it is there - the myth of the effortless beauty, tan or white skin, the fake messy hair, the neat but always casual style... there are many layers to that shitcake. But it has nothing to do with you.

  3. As usual with men online, they contradict themselves. Many will whine that "90% of women are fat" and it's impossible to find a single woman who's not, but also, "every woman is paired up", "even fat women have boyfriends", "men would date anything", etc.

  4. You can check this thread too, but spoiler alert: you'll find mostly accountants :D

  5. Boy I get it. I remember in high school, we had a party at the local community youth house thing, and it was a lot of 2000s fun. Think tiny plastic cups of Diet Coke, Black Eyed Peas on a loop and a 10pm closing time. I was having a lot of fun with my friends until one of these cheesy slow song starts, one of my close male friends gestures as in "let's do this one", and immediately tells me "it's just a friend thing okay". Like... obviously? But thanks for the unprompted rejection and the hint of panic in your voice. I wasn't into him, he wasn't into me, we had like a sibling bond until that moment, and it felt like a slap in the face.

  6. I miss the pre-Internet era. These people would get the occasional column in some magazine or others talking about their last album and how sleep and hydration were the secrets to their botoxed face and not share their bullshit neurosis with millions of people. Like who cares, really.

  7. The first step would be to understand why you're experiencing these over and over. If you can get first dates, it means at least in the talking phase, or online phase probably, things are okay, and that you're attractive enough to get first dates where the guy doesn't bail/ghost. So it's during that first date that things go wrong. It's a bit like a postmortem; analysing what went wrong or what you think could have gone wrong at least. Just going on dates over and over and being like "no idea what went wrong" will only bring you more hurt.

  8. There is this narrative going on online where hot/beautiful people are automatically shallow sitcom villains... But many people who are nice looking also had consistently positive interactions with others and are easy to talk to and have no mean streak. One of my closest friends is like that, on top of being naturally beautiful, she's lovely, friendly, smart and very generous. She'd be the type to gift you skincare products and draft you a routine. I'd be too, to be honest.

  9. I often get rejected or led on in my dreams. No matter what, it never materializes. I remember one dream that was so realistic, and the emotions felt so real, and then the guy (who was like more of a blur/impression) took that apologetic face I've seen so many times on men's faces and told me he "never thought about me that way". Like typical IRL stuff. You'd think we'd get some reprieve at night :D

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