What is your first impression/what vibes do I give off?

When you come across a feel-good thing.

I'm in this with you.

When you follow your heart, love is the answer

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  1. I don’t know why but the name Margot is the female equivalent to me

  2. I feel like the "why don't they build housing" argument instead of a parking lot is not really valid in Baltimore, where there is a housing surplus.

  3. Sounds like a grouse, drumming. Do a quick google search—-you can feel it in your chest if you are close enough.

  4. It’s similar but I can’t imagine a small bird making such a deep and strong noise that it feels like the whole place is vibrating

  5. It is super loud when they are nearby.

  6. Well I think you’re right! Creepy story solved. For a decade we thought it was some ufo or something. Well now we know!

  7. I think Rachel has an actual tendency to push people away herself and it’s because she is very scared to show people her true self and for her to see her true self and true emotions. Toby wants to know her and understand her—I really believe this to be true. But he becomes so confused and frustrated because she is unable to express to him her despair and uses work to try and heal herself and distract herself on her own. Real intimacy would necessitate Rachel being real with herself, and she’s terrified to do that. In attachment language, she longs for something (closeness and love) that she is also equally terrified of. She seeks out the “love” of someone like Sam, who was undoubtably always going to be unavailable if only because he’s literally married. She gets to play out a role where she is very comfortable—she gets love without she or the other person being real. Then, when she starts to go through shit and needs to be a real person, she’s with someone who didn’t sign up for that. He signed up for fun, superficiality, and a role-playing experience, which is what she wanted too until she needed more. He says as much and dips. She gets left with a chronic feeling of unloveable-ness, a feeling of “when I show myself to people they abandon me” without realizing it’s due to who she chooses and how she goes about showing herself—both strategies that enable her general avoidance of looking at herself. Toby has endured years of trying to understand her and being pushed away or shut out, so if/when she tries to be real with Toby he doesn’t respond with compassion because of being shut out for so long. I wish you the best on your healing journey. It’s so hard to be scared for something you also long for.

  8. Yes, true… well said! She’s a self-saboteur, and was essentially sabotaging her marriage by making her work her main focus. I mean, I guess she managed to be loveable enough and showed her true self enough to get Toby to fall in love with her and propose… but then I guess it all went to shit. Anyways. :) thanks for your kind words! 🙏🏽

  9. Yeah she is lovable, it’s just sad because other people thinking she is lovable isn’t enough to convince her to love herself. She says that around Toby she didn’t have to be trying to be a sophisticate or whatever—that he ‘couldn’t tell she had an accent.” But because she ultimately doesn’t like who she is, and definitely feels this way after having kids and being traumatized, she has to turn away from Toby because he demands realness and wants a real relationship and loves the real her.

  10. I think the point of the show is that there is no villain. Kind of like other shows (The Wire comes to mind) all of the characters are so flawed that there are no hero and no villain. I agree that Rachel held the key to preventing their divorce, but that key was communicating her emotions of trauma so that Toby could understand, but she could not do that. We are from her perspective in episode 7 she seems more scared than angry and bitchy in Toby’s perspective. We never learn which is “true” and I think that’s the point—the whole “reality is based on your perspective“ thing.

  11. She uses work to provide safety and stability for her children.

  12. Right, I guess my take is that her justifications of working so much to provide safety and stability don’t make sense to Toby absent the full understanding of her trauma, which she doesn’t process.

  13. I think the bigger question you’re essentially asking is not why is this specific house cheap, but why are houses in general so cheap in Baltimore. My perspective is that if you’ve got money in this general area and want a fancy townhouse to live in, you would go to DC. I moved to Baltimore from there, but I am neither rich nor the type to want to live in a fancy town house like that. Baltimore likely retains just fewer rich buyers who are into that way of life. The reason why houses in general are cheap in Baltimore is probably traced back to white flight and continued racism, if I had to guess.

  14. I guess you're correct - I am asking why Baltimore is so cheap generally. Fact is - if you wanted this house in DC, you would be paying multiples of the asking price of this. What fascinates me is that such a grand property is buyable for SUCH a small price - relatively speaking. Even in fairly rough UK cities, central streets such as this would still be sought after, even if neighboring areas were sketchy. I guess there's "sketch" and "sketch". I've walked Americans through very "sketchy" parts of east London and they just laughed.

  15. Google street view around 1812 Mosher St Baltimore, MD. It’s about a mile from this property and will give you a sense of a not great neighborhood in Baltimore. Lots and lots of abandoned houses (and these you could probably by for $5k!). Now, if you lived in Bolton you could very well live your whole life and never go into that neighborhood, so again, I don’t really know why things remain so, so cheap other than general snobbery/ racism. In DC when I told people I was moving to Baltimore there was a subset of people who definitely found my decision to be weird or looked down on me. It was the best move I could have made and am so happy I did it, so screw them!

  16. Maybe a line drawing of your favorite block of row houses with flags of lord Baltimore, city seal, and orioles waving from the front of the houses

  17. You have to be an absolute piece of shit to not only abandon baby animals but do so in a way that makes them someone else's unsolicited burden.

  18. I dunno, we have no clue how hard this person looked for homes or if these kittens were abandoned by their mom (or their mom was killed). Petco usually has adoption facilities too, so it’s not so far fetched

  19. For something different I’d suggest Santa Fe, NM. It’s small but has some great museums, interesting architecture, it’s beautiful, and tons of nature and hikes around. Also some really good spas, though you didn’t mention this, it could be good for a slow paced, relaxing trip. Only issue is the public transportation is not great. It’s a small enough city you could Uber around for cheap though

  20. Im having a hard time picturing this, so you have a photo or something online that shows this set up?

  21. You’re lucky your Qmom was willing to respect your boundaries and consequences.

  22. I'm honestly not sure what kind of insulation is under the roof. It seems like there must be some, at least.

  23. Thanks for this info! I have more questions bc this is super helpful for me. Who did your doors? I assume you also live in a 100 year old row home like mine? Did you take out the whole door frame and get a new modern door? Or did you refurbish the old one? Our door is 100 years old and because of the custom sizing, transom and glass in the door, a replacement was quoted at $6500!! Two different quotes gave us that number. Even if we totally scrapped the historic style of the door and went with a fully standard windowless steal door, it was 4 grand. I reading online that the national average for a new door is between 800 and 1200. I don’t understand why everyone is quoting us 4k

  24. I'm not in Hampden. I'm in 21218. But for comparison, I have a 1344 square foot rowhouse (not end of group), and have been here 13.5 years. My highest BGE bill was $291.97 in July 2020. The average has been just under $135. The bill I got last week was $145.23, and my next one (which will include the recent cold snap) is currently projected to be $197. I honestly couldn't imagine paying two to three times as much.

  25. I live in a row home in 21218 as well but our bill is 400$. May I ask if you have roof insulation or more modern windows. We have drafty windows and doors as well as no insulation but we’ve heard upgrading windows and doors will only reduce the bill by 25$ per month but your example seems to disprove that. Do you have boilers/radiators too?

  26. Don’t know why, but kind of new agey. Like into crystals, organic food, etc

  27. I’m a therapist with my own private practice on the side, will make about 100k. This coming year I will transition to my own practice full time and will likely make about 130k working 25 client hours a week

  28. Fair point, can't outrun a bad diet and all that, but the idea that the medical community doesn't recommend exercise constantly and consistently could only come from idiots.

  29. Every time I have a physical the doctor asks me about exercise habits and encourages at least 30 mins a day

  30. teaching is one of the jobs where you don't want people going in it just for the money because it'll attract people who don't give a shit about the kids

  31. I mean the current situation is there are tons of people who would be good teachers try at avoid it due to the low pay. Also, pay me enough and I’ll care about anything.

  32. Because it’s on purpose. There’s a concerted effort to destroy public education and critical thinking in this country

  33. This. It’s like ‘why doesn’t my insurance company cover my doctor?’ Because, then you won’t use it. Education system is defunded because we have a conservative subset in the US that since public education’s inception, has wanted it to be destroyed.

  34. Poppy—>the baby—>princess baby—>pop tart —> popper—> poopy 💩—> poopy with a foopy (what we call the tum flab)—popsicle—>cycle repeats

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