moonlightingasmyself


























  1. I also hate publishing to more social platforms. Places where my posts are the center of attention.

  2. As for your art problem, it takes a really long time unfortunately for people to gain traction for their art.

  3. yeah i think I’m always in too much of a rush for things to happen. growing up with mental illness and debilitating, undiagnosed&untreated adhd has put me years behind many people around me. technically ive only been back online and posting my art about a year now so i guess thats technically not really that long

  4. First off, I’m so sorry for replying so late because reading this hits like a truck. I relate SO hard.

  5. Aha! I’ve managed to limit myself with like asking a lot of stuff on their perception of me because I’m paranoid that that will cause y’know, a differing perception. I’m the kind that just poses myself as a sort clown, constantly cracking a joke about my symptoms or whatever instead of seriously talking about them. So I can control what people think of me and somewhat alter their perception.

  6. I'm not diagnosed yet, but I have OCD and BPD plus I'm definitely on the schizo-spectrum.

  7. Thank you for sharing. Sometimes I feel like I'm trying to steal back my childhood. At the same time, I feel like I'm stuck in that child-like mentality. I also enjoy my freedom from where I grew up. It's nice not knowing anybody in my new town. But it can also be lonely. Being finally diagnosed is good. Now I know what makes me this way. I do wish you the best in your mental health journey.

  8. Yeah, I tend not to tell people about my BPD diagnosis because of the stigma. I've had therapists turn me down for trying to get help.

  9. I really relate to this. It can seem so overwhelming sometimes and I've come up with the same ideas to try to cope.

  10. I describe self disorders as just being separated from the self and reality in some way. I tick a lot of boxes. So many.

  11. Yeah, I've felt them and energy/presences since I was young. Now I know it's not normal, but I used to think it was normal.

  12. Every drug works differently for us. But general thoughts are to start with a low count low dose. That way you're not paying for 90 days of something that makes you itch or worse day one.

  13. I was on Risperidone and it made me gain weight, but it helped my mood mostly according to my professionals, which is weird to say the least.

  14. I'm not worried about the sedative effects, honestly. I really welcome them because I really like being out of it since I don't have to think.

  15. I have it happen every day since I run through conversations and scenarios so often in my head.

  16. Why do you write nonsense at the end of a sentence sometimes? What does djjazknsjsjx mean?

  17. Yeah! It's kinda also like a stim in a way for me too bc it's fun to just dlanxjhsjdnxbnx like that lmaoo.

  18. I see people mention things like not making eye contact and fidgeting or stimming bc same jfbsnxnxj

  19. I didn't want friends when I was younger, but the more and more I saw that I was an outcast and excluded and how much fun other people had, I wanted them. Now I'm really lonely xksnjsbsnx

  20. When I'm anxious it tends to be a lot more severe (which is very rare luckily), but other than that, it just happens for no apparent reason

  21. I describe it as like my eyes being a screen and the me inside is sometimes closer to it or further away. But then I have background noise as if I'm in a busy Café. Music, talking, trains of thought, images flashing.

  22. Sometimes it's like more separate tangible people and I have discussions with those but they're like in the Café noise.

  23. Holy shit, I've always described it as feeling like people were on the surface and I was deeper underneath.

  24. I actually have a writing from eight years ago, when I was seventeen, about how I’m swimming in the ocean but then I realize that I am the ocean. Really does feel like existence and experience goes beyond this carbon web.

  25. It really does. Sometimes I don't know if it's actually like the way I feel or if it's just mental illness. It's worse when I try to talk about it and no one understands, so this subreddit helps a lot.

  26. This is how I feel. While I know now I definitely have schizophrenic traits now at least, when I first joined this sub, I was just finding out about it and amazed at how much I related to everyone and I finally found people who understood.

  27. yes, for me it feels like a test as well. if the curse is ever lifted, i pray that it will be soon, i hope i have proven myself enough to be given good things. i'm working so hard to prove myself so it is done with as soon can be

  28. I experience illusions frequently like seeing the world as foggy, things distorting in front of me, picking up something fully thinking it's something else, but I also do see things out of the corners of my eyes a lot more than my friends.

  29. I'm not sure. Maybe you can look into thought blocking more? I haven't really found anything that would be helpful 😭

  30. No, I think that there's just different neurotypes and "normal" is subjective. There's just more types of neurotypes than others.

  31. Ugh same with the “getting startled by things that aren’t there” thing. I have trouble falling asleep, because I always see black spots on the walls and think they’re spiders:’)

  32. I'm also p disconnected from the idea of being human and I have some wild theories about how the world works

  33. I swing back and forth between knowing I'm great as I am and then looking around and just wanting to connect with people in the ways other people do

  34. I had a bunch of similar feelings when I first found out I was probably on the schizo-spectrum. I felt like I couldn't trust anything and like so much of what I thought was normal was really a symptom.

  35. I can skim read really well bc I have a bit of an obsession with rereading a lot of things over and over and learning to look things up quickly for conversations

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