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  1. I pulled out of my work carpark at an old job (I was a potwasher at a restaurant in a village nearby). A cop car pulled out of somewhere as I left and proceeded to follow me all the way back to my village. When we got to the connecting road between the two villages (about 2 miles of unlit road), they drove right up my arse with their full beams on. Idk but I'm assuming they thought I was a drink driver and wanted me to make a mistake? This still bugs me a bit today.

  2. I worked in Scumthorpe a few years ago throughout the summer. Lovely place, I remember there were always lots of seagulls. Or was it Skegness?

  3. "Yes, everybody knows the Queen. She visits every house in the country once a year. She admired my net curtains and enquired after the health of my nan's budgie when I last saw her"

  4. My heart jumped when she snuggled into her dads neck. Bless her, I'm going to cuddle my cats ASAP.

  5. Boy humans sure are eager to dish out ETERNAL TORMENT as a fate but always want mercy for their own sins. What these people did was extremely wrong and worthy of karmic penalties but not everlasting torture

  6. Really, I always believed it to be one. I was out of there within four weeks anyway.

  7. Tell me about it. You know a landlord's commodity house a mile away. Old tiles, old window frames, outdated driveway, wiring stapled all over each side of the house, old front door, the newest thing in there is a combi boiler which they got installed 15 years ago and hasn't been serviced properly since. I'm right there with you. I spent 4x what the house was worth 20 years ago and now I've got to spend around 20k to bring it up to a contemporary standard so I can take pride in the place

  8. You just described my previous house. My sister helped me move, she said my landlord should have been paying me to live there.

  9. That looks tasty, I could wreck a curry right now. Keep your chin up op!

  10. Peanut butter. Nutella. Nuts. Glugs of olive oil

  11. I appreciate your advise. It was the amount of food that I had to eat which made me feel a bit podged. I remember I got my weight up to a high 12st. I just kind of stopped caring. Lastly, do you drink olive oil?

  12. The suggestions should allow you to eat a normal quantity of food, its jsut extremely calorie dense. So as long as you eat quick the calories will be in you before you feel full. If you push your food around you'll be full before you finish

  13. Yeah, I'm a picky eater. I prefer savoury to sweet foods. That may be my first problem.

  14. My water inlet pipe was slowly leaking into my kitchen floor, I didn't realise this until the kitchen sink started to give me an electric shock. My landlord came over, had a look (ex plumber) and said that the last guy had bodged the job. He turned the water off and went to Tesco and bought us a couple of multi packs of water and then left us for five days. Eventually he came back and bodged it himself with some garden hose and jubilee clips. Oh, and politely told us we could do with replacing the soggy flooring. Cheers mate!

  15. You can only explain things to your mum, but you can't understand them for her.

  16. I remember one of these unexpectedly shocking adverts years ago where there's an American drill sergeant making demands on a woman about not wanting his dinner, and snacking it off the table, waking her up in the middle of the night saying he can't sleep and she lashes out at him and it turns out to be her child. Adverts in the UK get weird in the early hours.

  17. Cunts. We should have thrown religion in the bin when we started to be able to diagnose people with mental disorders.

  18. I've held a full clean driving licence for 15 years. There's been a few near misses and altercations. I've been cycling to work for four months and have had people in the oncoming lane purposely cross over to scare/intimidate me, van driver look me dead in the eye whilst I'm passing a junction they're parked at and pull out with seemingly no other intention than to cause me to have an accident. I've had a cigarette flicked at me through a car window. Insults shouted. I know not all drivers are scumbags but it really puts your guard up when riding anywhere.

  19. I used to get intermediate/immediate mixed up too. It always made people laugh. Anyway, sorry about your situation OP. You're justified in feeling the way you do. It'll all get better once things are back to normal.

  20. Someone I know went on that show and was the first booted out because his pubes were too long. He keeps a very low profile now.

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