of_the_ocean


























  1. You’re not alone and I’m just sorry. I feel you. I’m a 27f and I really truly could have written this. Take care of yourself, OP. I hope we both create happy families someday, and everyone else here.

  2. I totally hear you and I’m so sorry. I left the medical field after years due to this entire view and the people within it. I’ve had so many bad experiences with doctors that think they know more than you about PTSD / what you live with daily and it’s old.

  3. I don’t know what is normal, but I can tell I was relatively fine until 19, then things got progressively worse until I exploded around 23. I guess other stressors around you play a role too? I hope more knowledgeable people will answer you as well

  4. Just replying to second this exact timeline for me and started “healing” at 24/25 actively and now (27f) am doing better than before 19 for sure.

  5. I’m sorry it’s so difficult, I feel this though so I’ll share what helped me. I personally took up boxing (just a bag in my garage or room works) back in high school and it’s been therapeutic ever since

  6. Yes. Happened multiple times in my younger days and it was rough every time.

  7. Right, he’s the homie and a freeze type himself if I remember correctly. Amazing

  8. He honestly doesn't sound like anyone you need in your life at all - maybe look into WHY you feel like this friendship is VITAL to your survival bc I promise it is not. Maybe just start small and try to make healthy friends that don't exhibit such bad red flags bc you deserve way better than that in a friend, OP.

  9. I’m sorry they aren’t more supportive of helping prepare you or even being accurate about adulthood. You have PLENTY of time to grow however you want to. Also PLENTY of adults have anxiety, me included. I manage just fine and so will you. There is nothing wrong with you and you will be a great adult, probably an extra kind one at that. For now though, focus on being 16 and finding people who truly support you for you and want to help teach you things if you need it.

  10. This is what helped me finally leave for good. My body and life were on the decline rapidly and whenever I’m not with my nex I’m the healthiest ever and feel good. I’m sorry this is happening, but it’s a huge sign to leave and protect yourself.

  11. You gotta leave as soon as you can, the longer it goes on the longer you get more attached to someone who is clearly not a good fit

  12. My nex never did this UNTIL we talked one day about how it would hurt me so much to be with someone who did that to a partner - we had a convo about other couples - and from that moment on that was suddenly another tool they used to hurt me and devalue me with before discards. No surprises but shocked it’s so common.

  13. Are you physically alone? Try a podcast? I've made virtual friends of many. My fandom gives me a sense of community.

  14. I’m with you, you’re definitely not alone. I know it doesn’t change the immediate feelings of this moment, but this sub has shown me that SO many people are in this boat too.

  15. What is this magical sounding type of job and congrats!

  16. Being monogamous is nothing to feel ashamed over. I’m also monogamous and get anxiety like you imagining something I don’t like happening to me.

  17. This exactly. They abused me horrifically and on my way out the door after a bad episode of theirs I asked them if they were sure they wouldn’t do therapy or be accountable or say sorry before I left forever and they said with a smirk “you’re crazy” so I closed the door and then about 2 years later I find out through their bother they had been lying for years about how I randomly ghosted them and abandoned them. Makes my skin crawl lol. They’ll always be a victim. They abandoned me so many times it’s slightly ironically hilarious what fake narrative they create. They project too much. It’s crazy making.

  18. Looking back on the first discard five years ago I was a shattered wreck and flung myself into therapy. Blamed myself and was so confused. Uncovered a ton and now when I look back at that time I only feel compassion for myself. Just sharing bc you will be where I am soon enough. This actually does get much much better and I’m even now better equipped to find the right partner when I am wanting to and not another abuser at that. Also - their promises mean nothing. I learned this the hard way it’s all empty and lies. You’re not messed up it’s natural and what they bank on. I’m so sorry you experienced this, but please never go back. It really isn’t worth it. As everyone here echos. Don’t learn the hard way. You have too much worth that they freak out and run away like immature kids. Take that as a sign.

  19. Went through this as well and thank you for verbalizing it so well. It’s so sad for them. They’re only hurting themselves the most. But also - proud of us for finally having a backbone and knowing what we deserve!

  20. I just did this today as well and laughed for so long as I was dragged along like a rag doll

  21. I was here. I went back and it was really really difficult, but at the same time I was equipped to handle it better than when I was younger. It also was short and I cried a lot so I don’t want to pretend it was fine or sustainable in any sense, but I wasn’t on the street. That was worth it to me at the time. It’s a personal choice and depends on you 100%.

  22. Hi, I personally feel this is abusive and you should make your exit. I was in an abusive relationship and it sounded a lot like this very early on. I finally left after it had escalated to life endangering abuse and wish I had sooner, obviously. I was in therapy and healing (EMDR and started grad school for clinical psych) and growing and my ex refused to despite saying they would for years with the "anger issues" they don't have around others. They don't want things to change and you're tricking yourself if you make excuses for them not simply getting themselves help. Please take care of yourself.

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