1. Just wanted to pop up to say I went through the same thing but my agoraphobia got bad just before my final year and so I had 0% attendance for that year. It breaks my heart because I had my final lecture in second year and didn’t even realise it was going to be my last. I still miss my course friends.

  2. I wrote a post similar to this recently but in relation to random men (who are oftentimes married and older to an inappropriate level) messaging me online just because I’m female. And I feel the same as you, it actually makes me feel really really bad and gross.

  3. Feels like I could’ve written this. I also felt like things would change for me in college (well I had my doubts but a small part of me was optimistic). But of course it was the same old story. All those guys in one place and not one was interested… yikes. It’s definitely a weird and confusing feeling.

  4. I feel you. Limerence has played a big part in my life growing up but it’s more so in relation to celeb crushes rather than real ones. But then at college I had an experience with a real person which was exactly how you outlined in your post.

  5. What's more important to you, banging a woman you barely know who's so low she's willing to seduce her BF's friends or keeping your friendship with this guy?

  6. I think the girl and the friend aren’t actually together, he just has a crush on her. So there’s no cheating involved unless I read it wrong.

  7. Ok so this is random but it totally worked me for me. I had a massive crush for a while and this person gave me mixed signals and then basically ghosted. I was sad for a LONG time and it turned into this numbness I carried with me everywhere. It sucked.

  8. Can totally relate to that last paragraph. I would joke about with friends but had a really profound feeling that I was actually totally correct. And my friends would joke too but of course they all have serious partners now like I predicted they would. Sorry you’re in this position, it really does hurt. You aren’t alone.

  9. god i actually relate to this so hard, especially the part about being exhausted thinking about doing anything. this disorder has took a lot out of us and took a lot from us!! and the part about it being a standstill really nails it on the head, i feel like i’ve been asleep for 3 years and i’m stuck at the age this happened and time just hasn’t moved, it’s very odd.

  10. Yess I’m exactly the same, feel like I’m stuck at the age it started. And I did initially finish a full course of CBT which helped a little bit but then Covid happened at the end of it and all the lockdowns meant I couldn’t carry on that momentum and practice.

  11. You are working as a cam girl and not even getting paid for it. He sounds annoying, I hope he fixes up and shows you more respect or you find someone better. All the best.

  12. All I can say is that it’s not always true that you do the same behaviours as the people you hang out with. My friends all drink and some smoke regularly too but I’ve never done either and don’t feel the need to even when we’re all hanging out together. Might not be as big of a deal as you worry it is.

  13. Damn do you guys have jobs? How do you have the time? But in all seriousness it’s a bit much, and you aren’t his sex doll. Once or twice is fine but if he requires any more he should just consider masturbating or something because if it’s literally exhausting you then it’s really really not fair.

  14. Not pathetic at all, I know the feeling! Just simple innocent touches can stop you in your tracks when it’s something you’re not used to

  15. I feel this completely. I remember once a long time ago I was in a situation where I had a nap with this guy (we were just friends) and he held my hand and put his other arm around me and I was like WOAH what is this?! It sounds dumb to most people but I’d just never experienced anything like that before or since. And I wonder how much better it would be in a relationship too. It’s crazy how something so simple can be so amazing.

  16. Just because you’re dating someone doesn’t mean they can’t rape you.

  17. I was downvoted too and it’s horrifying. People really showing their true colours here. I hope they face more compassion if god forbid they’re ever taken advantage of when they can barely function. It’s a scary world.

  18. I can’t understand why you would even want to have sex with someone while they’re incapacitated and on the verge of unconsciousness. I actually like my partner to contribute to the sexy time, and I can’t imagine she would’ve been able to do much barely being conscious. If you’re that horny, you could just masturbate or wait until they’re sober. I’m married and could never imagine taking advantage of my husband while he was black out drunk, I’d be more concerned about making sure he was safe and didn’t drown in his own vomit etc. sex would be the last thing on my mind, especially if he were falling on his face, not able to finish his sentences. My husband would feel the same way if it were the other way around as well.

  19. Ikr it’s depressing to read. And you’re totally right, the sight of your incapacitated partner should make you concerned, not aroused. No wonder people scare me, a lot of them genuinely can’t comprehend what’s wrong with this scenario. Some of the horrifying backwards views here make me pray I never find myself in such a situation with such a person.

  20. You’re making a wise decision. At your age it sounds boring but it’s really important to not have your attention swayed by things that probably aren’t gonna last long term anyway. But what will last forever is the foundation you build yourself in terms of education.

  21. Yes it’s flirty. And you only comment on something if you want the person to see it. He can of course admire other people, it’s only normal, but going out of his way to comment didn’t need to happen. Especially if it makes you feel uncomfortable or disrespected.

  22. Oh yeah, I've "always" had the sense that I don't deserve relationships. Partly because of poor self-image and partly (similar to what you describe) because of the embarrassment concerning what my family might think. Like, in high school (and beyond) I would have been embarrassed (well, mortified) if they witnessed me interacting with the opposite sex. Idk what it is exactly, I've been trying to understand. Maybe due to being ridiculed by my brothers for having crushes in the past? Like it's somehow wrong for me to like a boy? But it's almost like I believe they will assume I'm interested in someone just because I'm interacting with them... idk maybe they acted awkward about it in the past.

  23. Oh wow I totally relate to being in that role of the ‘little sister’ - I’ve always been the baby of the family and usually the youngest person at any gathering. So trying to break free of that baby mindset is still so hard, even now as a fully grown adult. Even thinking sexually feels wrong and like I’m a fraud and these two sides can’t possibly exist within the same person.

  24. Honestly wouldn’t have even noticed the nose, looks totally normal to me. You have a cool eye colour too.

  25. I think just cancel the trip and consider ending this relationship. Like ripping off a plaster.

  26. The bit about being liked for other reasons rather than just being a free therapist for people really struck me. I’ve felt like that all my life, people do like me but it’s just because I’m a good friend and listen to everyone’s problems. It doesn’t really go beyond that.

  27. Here is the most accurate witness account of that incident, as it was the woman's little 7-year old daughter was pushed out of the way by the fella who caused the disturbance:

  28. Social anxiety- I rarely go out and try to meet people so the chances are pretty much non existent lol I'm not passionate or interesting about anything to catch people's attention anyway

  29. I feel you on the trust issues. And it’s not like any boy has done me particularly dirty for me to feel that way but I have seen MORE than enough of what goes on between men and women to keep my wits about me. The speed with which a man can switch to cruelty and take off that mask of decency is frankly scary. I’m literally worried every man I encounter hates women deep down but will play along if it means they get sex.

  30. Idk I feel like adults shouldn’t be answering and telling a 16 year old they’re ugly, she’s cute

  31. Totally agree, and I don’t think 16 year olds should be posting here at all but I guess there’s no foolproof way to police that

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