Having to do homework and take exams was sooo stressful. I wonder why putting that level off pressure on young people stepping into adulthood is considered ethical... Isn’t making sure that young people get to know themselves as equally important as teaching them maths etc?
Thank you for writing the 6th bullet point! Most people around me hide their wounds to seem “normal” whatever that means. Seeing people talk about their childhood trauma is really validating and empowering. We did more than enough, it was our parents who refused to change.
You didn't do anything wrong this is all her. Don't give up trying to escape you deserve to live. For me you only stumbled because your parents know too much about you and you listened to the words coming out of that women's mouth. This is war, a war of information, propaganda, brainwashing, and escaping from a fascist. I would tell them nothing from now on. No telling them where you work, who your friends are, what you feel, where you're going, they don't need to know anything about you you're an adult. Screw her opinions they suck because she is a miserable person who has no friends with a husband that doesn't care about her so she desperately clings to you, you who can get out anytime and have a good life and she knows it. She's probably mad jealous and is tearing you down so she would feel better about herself. Screw depending on your dad or your mom, they both suck and is just in the way. Let them fight it's none of your business what two miserable people do you got your own problems and life. Just do whatever you gotta do, tell them nothing important cause all they do is try to ruin your life, get your money, get the hell out. Lie if you have to. Just leave the house and hide in the library all day if you have to. Just get as much time away from them as possible. Remember as a 23 year old you can just get up and walk away anytime your mom is an asshole. You can just tell her if you have nothing nice to say don't say it and leave for a breather outside what they gonna do call the police you're 23 what the cops gonna do? If she pressuring you to get married be sure to tell everyone she introduced you to that you're not interested in getting married and walk out yet again. She trapped you mentally, but physically you'll always be seperate from her.
I love how you called the toxic parent a fascist, I’ve been thinking about the same thing for a while now. Everytime I watch a documentary on fascism (or about cults) I can’t help but notice some patterns that remind me of the environment I grew up in.
For me it was slightly different. They were like “Why are you so weak? Why can’t you defend yourself?” I still get flashbacks and feel like a total loser from time to time thanks to them.
Depends on what you mean by fierce. I’m shy and i’m not domineering. On the other hand, I’m an independent thinker and I value freedom, I would never let people force their opinions on me.
I did not learn how to cook nor laundry until i was in college. Growing up being told how complicated these things are and being shamed for not knowing how to do them. But i never had a chance to learn as any attempts i did, my mom will micromanage me, shame me and criticize me for doing it wrong. Eventually it will always lead to abuse and tantrum from her.
I remember having a very frustrating conversation with my father about university degrees. He can't seem to fathom why I'm taking longer than 3-4 years to graduate. Job market was (and is) shit then. And I'd just started a second degree, and am working my ass off to make sure I have all the pre-reqs.
They saved a lot of people going thru tough times. Their warm and welcoming personalities are a godsend to those who need reminders that there is good out there
Same. My ex “best-friend” had been incredibly toxic to me and after our friendship breakup, I wasn’t really able to trust any of my female friends. I know it sounds silly, but that relationship really did break me.
I’d argue they’re masochists so they’d actually enjoy hearing you fight back in that way. They like taking you down to their level. Then they’ll use what you say in their arsenal as if you weren’t provoked to that point. I think back sassing is only a good option if there’s no other options left like if you can’t move out right away and they just won’t let up. What I did recently was just block and try not to guilt myself for it. Maybe give a courtesy text like I did but even that dragged on for a whole weekend. If she feels like that’s a win then she can have it. You don’t want to win at their game. Realize they’re some kind of mentally challenged who’d much rather sooner blame their children for their challenges so it’s all but impossible to successfully give them the help they need.
That’s pretty sad. How can they expect us to be independent and to live life to the fullest if they would monitor us from time to time? That seems draining.
Yes, but a person who shows “love” that way is clearly an unhealthy individual. If they’re not willing to heal, I don’t see why anyone would want to put up with such behaviour.
It is quite a big conflict in psych Ive heard. Some prominent psychs have written articles expressing anger at therapists who swiftly allow patients to go no-contact.
I would totally get it if she better explained herself. If she explained this in terms of how no-contact would make me feel and we had a discussion around that I could change my mind. I consider myself an open-minded person.
Having no college experience doesn’t mean that you’re an idiot. I know a few ppl who didn’t go to college and they all have one thing in common: childhood trauma. Idk if you’ve experienced anything similar, but negative self-talk is a huge sign. So first things first, please be kinder to yourself!
I had no idea pinterest had easy food recipes! I usually go there to find new wallpapers. Just checked it out and I was shocked lmao! Thank you for this tip!
This is the wildest crossover of the year so-far!
Yes i agree!
Having to do homework and take exams was sooo stressful. I wonder why putting that level off pressure on young people stepping into adulthood is considered ethical... Isn’t making sure that young people get to know themselves as equally important as teaching them maths etc?
I couldn’t agree more.
Thank you for writing the 6th bullet point! Most people around me hide their wounds to seem “normal” whatever that means. Seeing people talk about their childhood trauma is really validating and empowering. We did more than enough, it was our parents who refused to change.
A. A few ywars ago I would’ve said C, but going through some stuff forced me to change my POV, and my attitude towards empathy.
İşin garibi bizim ülkede hiç konuşulmuyor bu konular siyasetçiler tarafından. Avrupa’da yeşillerin hükümette olduğu ülkeler bile var.
You didn't do anything wrong this is all her. Don't give up trying to escape you deserve to live. For me you only stumbled because your parents know too much about you and you listened to the words coming out of that women's mouth. This is war, a war of information, propaganda, brainwashing, and escaping from a fascist. I would tell them nothing from now on. No telling them where you work, who your friends are, what you feel, where you're going, they don't need to know anything about you you're an adult. Screw her opinions they suck because she is a miserable person who has no friends with a husband that doesn't care about her so she desperately clings to you, you who can get out anytime and have a good life and she knows it. She's probably mad jealous and is tearing you down so she would feel better about herself. Screw depending on your dad or your mom, they both suck and is just in the way. Let them fight it's none of your business what two miserable people do you got your own problems and life. Just do whatever you gotta do, tell them nothing important cause all they do is try to ruin your life, get your money, get the hell out. Lie if you have to. Just leave the house and hide in the library all day if you have to. Just get as much time away from them as possible. Remember as a 23 year old you can just get up and walk away anytime your mom is an asshole. You can just tell her if you have nothing nice to say don't say it and leave for a breather outside what they gonna do call the police you're 23 what the cops gonna do? If she pressuring you to get married be sure to tell everyone she introduced you to that you're not interested in getting married and walk out yet again. She trapped you mentally, but physically you'll always be seperate from her.
I love how you called the toxic parent a fascist, I’ve been thinking about the same thing for a while now. Everytime I watch a documentary on fascism (or about cults) I can’t help but notice some patterns that remind me of the environment I grew up in.
Internet hug 🙋🏻♀️ You are enough and you do not have to be perfect. Controlling ppl project their own fears onto others, don’t take it personally.
Ah yup. Realizing I never felt safe starting from when I was 5 years old. I got bullied, they blamed it on me with "What did you do?"
For me it was slightly different. They were like “Why are you so weak? Why can’t you defend yourself?” I still get flashbacks and feel like a total loser from time to time thanks to them.
Depends on what you mean by fierce. I’m shy and i’m not domineering. On the other hand, I’m an independent thinker and I value freedom, I would never let people force their opinions on me.
I did not learn how to cook nor laundry until i was in college. Growing up being told how complicated these things are and being shamed for not knowing how to do them. But i never had a chance to learn as any attempts i did, my mom will micromanage me, shame me and criticize me for doing it wrong. Eventually it will always lead to abuse and tantrum from her.
ohh, wow that's a nice thing to discover since I'm ENFP =') hahah
I’m not good at making the first step so I usually meet guys through friends or when I’m in a group setting.
thats nice. have you a significant other right now?
Yes-ish. It’s not official yet tho
I remember having a very frustrating conversation with my father about university degrees. He can't seem to fathom why I'm taking longer than 3-4 years to graduate. Job market was (and is) shit then. And I'd just started a second degree, and am working my ass off to make sure I have all the pre-reqs.
My AM discouraged me from getting a minor and I regret it to this day. They are so confident even though they know nothing about the real world...
Second one is the mother of all lana memes
Aggressive and domineering people are off-putting in general. It’s not masculine energy. Emotionally mature and healthy people do not act that way.
They saved a lot of people going thru tough times. Their warm and welcoming personalities are a godsend to those who need reminders that there is good out there
Same. My ex “best-friend” had been incredibly toxic to me and after our friendship breakup, I wasn’t really able to trust any of my female friends. I know it sounds silly, but that relationship really did break me.
I’d argue they’re masochists so they’d actually enjoy hearing you fight back in that way. They like taking you down to their level. Then they’ll use what you say in their arsenal as if you weren’t provoked to that point. I think back sassing is only a good option if there’s no other options left like if you can’t move out right away and they just won’t let up. What I did recently was just block and try not to guilt myself for it. Maybe give a courtesy text like I did but even that dragged on for a whole weekend. If she feels like that’s a win then she can have it. You don’t want to win at their game. Realize they’re some kind of mentally challenged who’d much rather sooner blame their children for their challenges so it’s all but impossible to successfully give them the help they need.
This hits home.
I’m sorry but how are they loving? They are still lecturing you, they tell you that “you have a problem”...
That’s pretty sad. How can they expect us to be independent and to live life to the fullest if they would monitor us from time to time? That seems draining.
Psst - they don’t want you to be independent! Look up narcissistic parenting! You gotta set some boundaries for your own sake.
but what if you end up loving your job overseas even more! The fact that you are even considering it just goes to show how capable you are :)
I’m during the process of making that decision too and reading your comment made me feel so much better!
Yes, but a person who shows “love” that way is clearly an unhealthy individual. If they’re not willing to heal, I don’t see why anyone would want to put up with such behaviour.
Stop sending them “overseas money”, also please schedule more catch-ups with childhood friends.
It is quite a big conflict in psych Ive heard. Some prominent psychs have written articles expressing anger at therapists who swiftly allow patients to go no-contact.
I would totally get it if she better explained herself. If she explained this in terms of how no-contact would make me feel and we had a discussion around that I could change my mind. I consider myself an open-minded person.
Zoom can work for this kind of thing.
Thanks for cheering me on 🙏🏼🙏🏼
Having no college experience doesn’t mean that you’re an idiot. I know a few ppl who didn’t go to college and they all have one thing in common: childhood trauma. Idk if you’ve experienced anything similar, but negative self-talk is a huge sign. So first things first, please be kinder to yourself!
Basic seasonings I use for everything: Johnny's Seasoning Salt or Adobo Seasoning, pepper, garlic powder, onion powder.
I had no idea pinterest had easy food recipes! I usually go there to find new wallpapers. Just checked it out and I was shocked lmao! Thank you for this tip!