1. I’m so fucking happy these swimmers/divers use ropes and spotters. Reminds me of a ww2 movie “napola: Elite für den Führer” where a boy kills himself under the ice swimming like that. Shit’s terrifying

  2. I wasn't trapped under the ice but, in Iceland, I had the bright idea to hike across a frozen lake to stand on a massive glacial iceberg. I was alone, in the winter, in the middle of nowhere. But the berg had a cute car-sized hole in it, and I wanted to sit under the arch while I watched the sun set.

  3. Yes. The silent treatment -- when you are trying to confront them about their behavior -- is a form of emotional abuse.

  4. That sucks so much. Near the end I was no longer able to maintain eye contact with her during the "arguments". I was afraid because she had already shown me she was capable of physical intimidation / abuse when she didn't get her way. I felt like I was nothing and I just wanted her to stop hurting me.

  5. Yes! But I am also wrong if I didn’t tell him anything, he would realise I was different and get upset that I didn’t tell him that I was hurting.

  6. Yeah. There were times I tried to avoid showing or talking about how I hurt. In rare moments she could detect my discomfort and then punish me anyway.

  7. Every time I find myself wondering whether my Nex truly was a narcissist, I come on here and bingo - it's like you guys knew him!

  8. Hah, yep. I come here every time I'm feeling a little down to remind myself. By lending support to others here I am often able to say the things I am not fully able to tell/hear myself.

  9. Sometimes it helps to just be able to get it out in the world. So much "don't talk, don't tell, don't feel" pent up over 15 years. 15 years trying to drive you crazy. Well, yeah, you might seem batshit to a lot of people as you grapple with the dark reality of the situation. Especially if they are gaslit or have never experienced this bs. But we know and we believe you here. It nearly always helps to be able to talk to other survivors.

  10. Yep. He's showing you who he is in black and white. The only time he thinks of you is when he wants to use you.

  11. Honestly, he's not just sneaking off with free two day shipping. He's also getting a reaction from you, good or bad. Gotta feed that addiction.

  12. Just started reading a third book that was recommended to me in a very different context. In Sheep's Clothing. It seems very promising. I'm only a few chapters in and have highlighted so much.

  13. why is this so tender? why does it make me feel like i have to reassure. Damn, i hate myself

  14. My inclination was always to try to reassure her and help her regulate her emotions. It's healthy to want to help someone you love when they are in need. But she used this tendency to exploit me: to get what she wanted and run roughshod over my boundaries. This manipulation was also difficult to detect. I never thought somebody could so effectively weaponize my care against me.

  15. Generally, she could derail any conversation about me getting my needs met, or distract from her wrongdoing, by doing a guilt trip or a pity party.

  16. Any time a narc sees a therapist they will manipulate the therapist into enabling and validating them. After all, the therapist only gets to hear/see one side if the story.

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