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  1. My grandparents are both MDs (long retired now since they are in their late 80s). I get so mad on my Grandma’s behalf when I see their mail addresses “Dr & Mrs last name”. My Grandma is a bad-ass who qualified as a doctor, specialised, worked and raised 3 kids on home cooked meals in a time when women were still expected to leave the workforce as soon as their first child was born.

  2. I was on board with you not telling Shauna because if their relationship is over - why make her feel even shittier that she was cheated on? It's not your circus to deal with.

  3. Absolutely, I was reading and thinking what does she gain by knowing that her ex cheated on her for a month before dumping her? Obviously if they are back together and she doesn’t know the truth behind why he broke up with her or what has happened since then that changes everything. Their relationship is based on that lie and OP is complicit in keeping it. I’d hate to be the messenger but there’s going to be fallout somewhere. OP’s twin put him in a shitty situation.

  4. I think the big difference here is who is pushing for it, you can see a big difference between accounts that are created by the parents (young kids, involve the whole family, videos and posts are parents POV) and when kids are creating their own content with parent support (child’s POV, parents are a side-kick if they feature).

  5. Someone posted here recently about their experience in one of these families and it really hit me hard. Many of us know what it’s like to have an N parent who puts on a different persona in public to receive praise, but having an entire online brand based around that false persona and putting the obligation on your children to make it appear real and idyllic takes that to a new level. I will not support or condone the exploitation of children, whether they seem to be willing participants or not, because social media is far to curated to really know a family’s situation.

  6. Was decades ago, but when my mother moved to NZ from the States her family thought she was moving to a repressive communist country. Many people are clueless.

  7. I did my OE in London and had a British Nigeria colleague. We were talking one day and I mentioned the Queen. She got really excited and said “oh, New Zealand has a Queen too?! Who’s your Queen?” “Uh… Elizabeth… NZ is part of the commonwealth.”

  8. I’m 32 now, one child and been with my partner since a similar age. We have lived with her parents on three occasions, once before kids for 3 months before we moved overseas, once when we came back for around 3 months again, and for 5 weeks during strict Covid lockdown just after our daughter was born. We’ve also been on holidays together.

  9. Yes you can, and depending on where you are going to the library you might be able to sign up for a temporary library card (or a proper card if you live in the area). I was able to get a temporary card when visiting Manchester (I think) so that I could use the computers for free.

  10. I’m a lawyer who charges hundreds of dollars per hour for my advice. Some people still don’t take it.

  11. When I worked in hospitality I was always given a heads up if a VIP was coming. Heck, I volunteered at an event once and they gave us a list of VIPs expected to be in attendance with headshots. If you expect a different level of service for VIPs then you’ve got to let people know.

  12. Good revenge on your sister, but it is the responsibility of every aunt and uncle to obtain the loudest most obnoxious toys for their nieces and nephews.

  13. As an aunt of a 12, 10, 5 and 4 year old and now mother of a 2 year old, I am deeply sorry for some of the gifts I gave my nephews and niece.

  14. New Zealand doesn’t have cheques. All major banks phased out cheques between February and August last year, resulting in government departments also refusing to accept cheques after the end of May 2021.

  15. The Guilty Feminist had an entire episode with expert guests talking about how there has been a sustained effort by the Government (both parties) to undermine the NHS. The intended outcome of this process is to effectively privatise health care in the UK, moving control of health care to the same private health insurance companies that operate in USA.

  16. If you have to ask, then usually the answer is yes.

  17. I recently had an email at work. The email address looked legit, there were no links to click, no spelling mistakes, none of the main things we are told to check. However, the txt of the email looked like it was an image. The email was asking how to make a complaint, not a particularly unusual request given my work and it wouldn’t be unheard of for me to receive an email like this from someone I hadn’t spoken to before.

  18. OP, none of this is your fault. You are incredibly mature and responsible to recognise that what your teacher was doing wasn’t ok and to get help. That doesn’t mean that you should know how to deal with the reactions of your family and trust me when I say that much older LGBT people than you still don’t know how to deal with prejudice from friends and family, you don’t turn 18 and suddenly have all the answers.

  19. So the Handmaids Tale is turning into reality in USA and Paul Morland wants to make The Wall a reality in the UK? I can’t even be surprised anymore, which other dystopian novels should we model societies on?

  20. I’m 32 and while I’ve never been a supermodel I don’t consider myself to be unattractive. I have never had a stranger randomly hit on me in public. I thinks it far less common than you think because in real life people have their own insecurities, things going on in their lives, and fears about rejection or being taken the wrong way. Movie meet-cutes belong in movies where the protagonist is the centre of the universe.

  21. I would say any food that the region is "famous" for is usually the worst, but locals will defend it.

  22. Expanding on this, I did not have good coffee in Italy or anywhere in Europe. If you’re ever looking for a good barista coffee then listen for the New Zealand or Australia accents.

  23. I’m 15 and got diagnosed last year (August 15th, 2021) and if someone like OP had said something like that to me it would’ve made my life so much easier.

  24. I’m 32 and got diagnosed 2 weeks ago. I didn’t see it coming since my family sees me as the most socially competent one. My nephew is the only other person in my family with a diagnosis but I think it’s safe to say we’re an autistic bunch.

  25. I think there’s a difference between cultural appropriation and cultural appreciation. It can be quite difficult to see exactly where that line is though. I think it’s easier to see in a commercial setting, e.g. a company which has no links to a particular culture creating a product out of that culture for profit. That doesn’t mean that companies can’t touch anything cultural. Disney did a pretty good job with Moana, they had Māori advisors and made a Te reo version of the film.

  26. Don’t back out now, the safest way to leave an abusive situation is exactly as you are doing, no warning and a clean break.

  27. I had someone run across the carpark in Tesco the other week to yell at me that I could not use he parent and toddler parking space, upon showing them the two children in the car (which I don’t feel I should have to do) they continued with “these spaces are for mothers and children” the 2022 mindset really is not that far removed from 1950 for a lot of people

  28. As the primary breadwinner in a two mum family, I get far too many people asking me why I’m not at home with my child. Someone has to make money to feed and clothe her. Unfortunately my partner also gets judged for not being at work, no one can ever win.

  29. You’ve got some good advice about the relationship itself but thinking about what is going on for your partner, has she considered the possibility that she might have ADHD? Dyslexia and ADHD are closely related (along with an assortment of other conditions) and it’s common for people to have more than one (my own diagnosis of Mixed Nuerocognitive Disorders includes 4 diagnoses). The impulsivity, jumping from one thing to another career wise, big ideas with no follow through, all suggest that this might be an issue for her but it’s hard to tell without knowing a bit more what she is like. Just something to consider.

  30. Tell her that you don't want to ruin the surprise, but you were shopping for a present for her. It's the truth without revealing too much.

  31. Very good advice. My thought was the more broad “I can’t tell you right now but I promise you that it isn’t anything bad and I will tell you all about it when the time is right”. Then, after the proposal OP can explain all about how they wanted to find the perfect ring but didn’t want to spoil the surprise by telling her where and why they’d gone.

  32. My husband works with several Johns, several Mikes, and a couple Joes. So he'll start telling a story about, say, "John," and I'll assume it's one of the two he always talks about and maybe I can figure out which one as the story goes on but no....it's the John he never talks about. Or the "Mike" he's talking about is actually a guy he went to high school with that I've never heard of.

  33. My SO told me she “saw Michelle” and I was so confused because there’s Michelle my boss, Michelle her cousin’s wife, two Michelle’s we used to know from cheerleading. It was none of those. It was Michelle who is the parent of a child that was in our child’s baby activity class. I’ve only met that Michelle twice and both times were more than a year before this conversation.

  34. My guy I just googled it. The very first non ad hit on "are masks safe for babies" explains that masks are safe for babies.

  35. Really? Because when I googled it I got pages from the CDC and kidshealth saying children under two should not wear a mask because their airways are smaller.

  36. Aussie here. Just shaking my head reading it all. It can't be that difficult can it?

  37. Kiwi here, also cannot comprehend why anyone would be so against public healthcare simply on the basis that someone else might be contributing less than they are.

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