My girlfriend just broke up with me and I don’t know how to feel better. We are both 13, I know relationships between young people never last but she ment a lot to me . I’ve been crying since it happened. How do I cope with the sorrow the situation has put me in? It may sound stupid.

  1. Don’t be afraid to feel your sadness. It’s painful but processing your emotions is an important part of healing. Listen to your favorite sad songs, don’t be afraid to cry about it. I always try to write things out too. I know it really sucks right now, but I promise that someday it won’t hurt so bad. You’re doing great kid:) Edit: thanks for the awards! ~^

  2. don't call her. i repeat don't keep calling her. you want to but don't. it's cooler not to be around than it is to be around. be busy. hang with the buddies who still love you even though you blew them off for this chick. they'll take you back.

  3. I didn’t think I get so many helpful comments , Ty reddit. This made me feel a lil better knowing that stranger help other strangers threw things like this.

  4. I'm so sorry... it doesn't sound stupid. When you experience a heartbreak, it's really painful. Your chest tightens and your heart literally feels like it hurts. I've been there. Multiple times. Unfortunately, it is not something that you can just make go away. Time will heal your heart and eventually it will be a memory like any other. You may need some "time off" to feel sad and do nothing because sometimes it CAN be hard to do anything else. Even if that lasts a few days, one morning soon you will wake up and feel like you are capable of doing a little bit more than nothing. Take it one step at a time! Hang in there.

  5. It isn’t at all stupid. Pain is as real at 13 as it is at 31. Don’t allow anyone (including yourself) to dismiss or diminish your feelings.

  6. Hey, your sadness is real. I was a little older but some of the deepest sadness I have felt to date was when I broke up with my first boyfriend around age 15. The first heartbreak is very difficult. But it's also kinda like, a new chapter in your life.

  7. I am honestly amazed with how young reddit users can be and as far as that situation goes very few relationships that young ever last.

  8. You don't. As harsh as it may sound you have to face it, you'll come out stronger for it as a result. If you shield yourself from the pain and it happens again in the future you'll be right back where you started. Everyone remembers their first break-up, it's an important lesson to learn, so learn it young.

  9. It's very painful to have your heart broken. It is painful whether you are 13 or 31. Only way you can feel better if you feel the pain first. We humans tend to repress out uncomfortable emotions. We try to run away from them. We try to distact ourselves from them. If we do that those emotions will stay with us until we face them and feel them. The nature of feelings is to move. If we don't allow our feelings to move then those feelings will get stuck our system and that will create physical symptoms. If you feel sad then cry. If you feel angry then beat up a pillow and curse like hell. While you are feeling your feelings be cautious of your mind. It will probably comment a lot of what's happening. Just let your mind be and come back to that feeling. If you feel too overwhelmed by those feelings then you can just simply ask from Life/Universe/God (whatever word suits your worldview) to only give you 10% or 50% or how much you can handle.

  10. Things will get better I promise but I know the pain of a broken heart. I also thought I was in love twice before the the third time when I truly was in love. Best wishes!

  11. Feel it out. Accept it. Love it all for what it is. Grow from it. It will always hurt, even when you know it will work out, it’s natural to hurt. Cry it out, learn from it, observe your thoughts and feelings. Don’t try to ‘bottle it up’ or distract yourself from feeling! Ever!! That’s unhealthy, it’s not facing a situation, you don’t grow from running. In the end, just know life will go on, and one day you it’ll be a tiny thought amongst the whole life of memories you’ve created and seen by then. Just have love for her, have good energy about it. All works out :) you got this!! 👊

  12. I got broken up with and threw up an entire toilet bowl of puke it was insane. Then I was so sad my chest hurt all the time and I felt empty. I was hurt for about two years. I’m still alive and over it and with someone else and very happy. I’m even friends with the person who broke my heart we have a very good relationship. We don’t like each other like that anymore and that’s okay. You’re going to get through this even if it doesn’t feel like it now. Time heals all wounds, just try to be present in the moment and enjoy each day as it comes.

  13. Time will take care of your sadness. I'm 25 I recently broke up with my 3rd gf. It hurt like my first (I was 15). Don't think it sounds stupid it's not.

  14. Just give it time bro. This stuff always sucks and I promise from someone who’s been in ur situation at ur age before and a few more like it through growing up just try to get on bro. People will tell u it don’t matter nd all that right but I mean it matters to u nd that uno? So just chin up big man it’s gonna hurt but it won’t after a while these things just need time. Time heals all wounds nd that

  15. Well I’m not a seasoned guy in this situation either. Well I did have situation similar to this. I was keen on a girl myself. Tried my best, it was my first time so I didn’t know the all round of this sort of stuff. There was another guy too chasing the same girl I did. I didn’t make it. I saw post of them together and man did it hit hard. It felt like I was lanced right through me. I couldn’t stop thinking about it and kinda teared up abit myself. It was over from then on. The girl I thought I could perhaps be with didn’t turn out like what I wanted. I learned that things don’t go you way. It’s time to move on. It was painful but so what. That’s the end of the road. It’s hard yes, but you gotta hang in there and know that time don’t wait for you. Gotta move forward and perhaps let this relationship you had be a lesson for you rather than a bitter one (well it sure is bitter for me). Don’t hate it. That’s about it I guess. Sorry if I didn’t really help in anyway but I hope it gets better for you cause it will :).

  16. That’s not stupid at all. I’m sorry that you are hurt. The only thing that I can tell you is that the only constant in life is change. These feelings will pass. Like the saying goes this too will pass. You won’t always feel this hurt. Just give yourself time.

  17. Dude, you're 13. i wish i could go back to that Age.. you've got literally your *ENTIRE* Life ahead of you. You was never going to stay with her forever anyway, so just be happy it happened, and look forward to even better things in your future. who knows? she might even get back together with you.

  18. Yeah it sound stupid... All kids are stupid... Even me at my age of 27 I am still a bit stupid... Nobody is perfect... But everybody grows.... A soldier takes a bullet... A doctor sometimes can't save a patient... A comedian sometimes needs to be sad in order to make funnier jokes out of their misery... Keep the wounds, it makes you tougher... "Stronger"

  19. So much great advice in this thread. If you have any interest at all, I'd recommend you start lifting weights. You're at an age where your body is starting to pump out massive amounts of testosterone. Use it! Itll give you n outlet for stress.

  20. Hey girl! My first break up I really threw myself into piano and songwriting. I was 14 and it was the most intense sadness I had ever felt. Try new things, YouTube has great instructors for just about everything! You’re young and it’s important to have a strong hobby or skill later in life, now is the perfect time to find which ones are yours :) Good luck!

  21. You need to go through a lot of breakups not only to figure out what you want, but what you don’t want. Always bigger and better around the corner.

  22. I had my first real heartbreak at 13, and it felt exactly the same as the heartbreak I had at 30. Both very painful! It feels like the sadness will never go away, but it will! I know it’s hard to see this now, but you are slowly becoming a better person through this!

  23. Hey buddy, this may be different from other people’s opinions and may not be well received but if you have an interest, ask your parents to let you go to the gym. Put all of your emotions into the gym, it’s a great way to escape and focus on yourself. Even better if you have a friend to go with.

  24. I wish I was 13 when I experienced this for the first time. I'd have learned emotional regulation a lot sooner.

  25. its okay to feel bad and its okay to cry, thats perfectly normal. give yourself 1-2 weeks to experience and letting those emotions out because its important for the healing process. after that try to focus on yourself, try out some new hobbies or stuff that interrest you or do something with your friends, just occupie your mind with something else and slowly you will stop thinking about her until she is off your mind.

  26. Builds thick skin buddy. It's hard and you're valid for how you feel but trust me, you'll look back one day and be okay about it.

  27. Best thing you can do is acknowledge those feelings and when you’re ready, accept what has happened. Every relationship in life serves a purpose and there always is a learning opportunity. First heart break always hurts the most because it’s a new experience, but you will overcome it :)

  28. Buddy, that's not stupid. It doesn't matter how old you are, going through a breakup sucks. I'm not the best at giving advice, but just know that it's okay to feel sad. Wishing you the best of luck <3

  29. Try spending time trying to get to know yourself better. What do you like? What do you not? Try new stuff, cry about it, feel the anger and the sadness. There's nothing really you can do but let time do its job.

  30. It will hurt for awhile, the grief is real. Know that the pain won't last forever, though. Hang on and wait, and gradually the pain will go away. You will always have memories of your first love, and the happy parts will be happy memories forever. Your first love isn't lost, you will always carry it with you.

  31. I know this feels so terrible, it's like rejection. This is only the cusp of the beginning of your life, these experiences are going to shape you and make you stronger. I am sorry you're having a hard time, it will get better. Let yourself be sad, treat yourself to your favorite snacks or things to do, and you'll start healing.

  32. It will take time. It's a loss and you need to mourn it. Cry if you need to, write, bike ride the pain away. After a while the pain lessens and do things that make you feel good and keep you head up. Most relationships we get into don't work out, and that's just life. Take every relationship you're in and look at it like a lesson for future relationships, things to avoid things not to avoid.

  33. Have your cry friend, this could be the first of many but each time is a chance to grow. It’ll hurt for a little bit but eventually you’ll feel better. In the meantime spend time with your friends, try to take your mind off of it. If the go to things you would normally do aren’t feeling the same try something new, learn an instrument or a new hobby! You also need to know that it’s okay to be sad about it too, that’s part of being human.

  34. You are in your right for feeling things. Don't let internet or people try and make you think the opposite.

  35. A lot of people will act like because you're young, your problems don't matter as much. But I think that actually because you're young, You feel your emotions very deeply. I'm so sorry that you lost your girlfriend. The best advice that I can give to you is to talk to the people you trust about how you're feeling. Talk and talk and talk to your friends. Do things you enjoy. Spoil yourself. Doing stuff will help you move forward, but also, you are going to continue to have those moments of wallowing in sorrow for a while. Be patient with yourself and don't get angry at yourself that you're not getting over it fast.

  36. Just feel what you’re feeling. Let it happen, don’t try to fight it. Time is the only thing that can help you feel better, you just have to keep getting up and facing each day. It will be hard at first, and the sadness may take a lot of your time, but the sadness will stop being so strong little by little it will fade away until you wonder why you felt sad in the first place.

  37. Breakups are tough. As cheesy as it is, you need to recognize that (1) you are sad and (2) that it is completely fine. You are allowed to be upset, even if it’s “just a middle school relationship”. What kind of things do you like to do?

  38. Hey man, we’ve all been there. Just because you’re young doesn’t mean your feelings don’t exist! They do and it’s okay to feel that way, I’m sure she meant a lot to you.

  39. I've always found it helpful to look back on my relationship and analyze it. Pick out the traits I really liked in that person and those I didn't like. Make a mental list of your "must haves" and "won't tolerates" for your next relationship. Such as "she had a good sense of humor, that's a must have." And "she could really lose her temper when she was hungry, I want someone more even tempered in my next relationship."

  40. Feel sad about it a bit, and when you’re done feeling sad, find something else to do. Exercise is great, picking up a new hobby, spending time with friends are all good distractions to have when you’re sick of feeling sad.

  41. It's not stupid at all! You had feelings for this person and I very much respect that you have a healthy view on relationships meaning that teenage relationships don't always last but none the less it still hurts when someone you have feelings for doesn't feel the same way you feel! Time usually sorts things out honey! Allow yourself some time to grieve the loss of that relationship and then move on! You'll fine someone new! That's usually how time works! Best of luck to you sweetheart!

  42. Let me tell you something i me and my girl broke up after 10 months and I lived with her ( we’re both 16 ) and best thing I can say is be around the people you trust and care about it really does help I know you gonna wanna lay in your bed all day long and cry but go out have some fun definitely don’t do anything stupid and try you best to keep a good attitude. Heartbreaks will happen I know as rn I’m going thru the worst one I’ve ever gone thru but time heals everything

  43. Awww, it's not stupid love! Heartache is heartache. Unfortunately, the only way to get over it is to go through it. It won't be your last one most likely. But do what makes you feel better. Music, video games, ice cream; whatever. It's ok to grieve for a while. Please do NOT listen to people who tell you that you are too young to have been in love. It may be a different love, but it's still valid, as is the heartache. Every time we fall in love it is different no matter what your age. Just remember that if she made you that happy, it was worth it. Every relationship teaches us something. You will get through this, I promise! Good luck and gentle hugs!

  44. It’s normal to feel sad, but you’re 13. Life hasn’t even started for you yet. You have to pick yourself up, dust yourself down and focus on more important things than relationships that really don’t mean as much as you may think.

  45. Express yourself. Creative expression is often probably your best bet; take how you feel and give them a place where they can belong. Give them a place where they have a right to rest.

  46. You’re right that young love comes and goes, but it’s totally okay to feel sad. Don’t be afraid to express your emotions and talk with people you trust. I’d recommend focusing on other activities and hobbies you enjoy (maybe school or really anything productive). Do what makes you happy and don’t dwell on the past. :)

  47. It took me over a year to fully get over my “first love”. But now looking back on it I see lots of things I’ve learned and improved that can help me for next time

  48. Man it’s normal. Breakups are hard no matter how old you are. I’d say enjoy yourself. Do all the things you couldn’t while you two were together. Whatever that is go for it. You will feel better eventually. Just remember that things will always get worse before they get better. And this probably does feel like the worst day of your life. There is an up side to that. If it’s not then you know that this isn’t that bad. If it is then you got it over with early and can enjoy the rest of your life.

  49. You can do other things that make you feel happy to divert your attention, such as playing games, gathering with friends, etc

  50. First of all, your feelings are valid. Just because you’re young and this is unlikely to be your soul mate doesn’t make it hurt any less in this moment. Allow yourself the time you need to heal. Break ups are hard. You probably really cared about her and I’m sure it both felt and was real for you (and probably her too). I’m sorry you’re going through this. I can assure you that there is a light at the end of the tunnel but that doesn’t mean you cannot be sad. Surround yourself with the people who love and care about you as well as take time to mourn the loss of the closeness/relationship.

  51. I’m 20 years old. There’s not an age restriction on feelings, I feel the need to say this because it’s a common misconception. What you are feeling is completely valid and it’s what many humans struggle copping with. She chose to separate from you, whatever the reason, you should accept her choice (even if you don’t agree). It’ll be hard trying to heal from something that you haven’t came to terms with. Let out your emotions if you have to and try not to overindulge in dwelling. And if people say “time will heal” that is the worst advice, Its better to face the internal issue you’re dealing with head on. Give yourself a reality check. “Should I stay upset at a person who doesn’t want to be with me?” “How would I like to be treated in future relationships?” “What has this experience taught me?” “What kind of person do I see myself with in the future and how will we benefit eachother?” Relationships fail everyday, but it only makes us closer to finding the person we truly deserve if you love yourself and are strong enough to get past the pain of the breakup.

  52. i know you want to offer positive support, but this is not the way my dude. women and men are cruel and heartless equally and they both can be very gentle and caring. this has nothing to do with gender and everything with personality.

  53. This is it bud. It’s all downhill from here. Find the weed kid in your school and resign yourself to the fact that this is life now. If there is no weed kid at your school yet, well… i guess you’ve found your calling

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