AITA for yelling at a child in a restaurant?

  1. Yeah OP being 'dismayed' at a child being seated near him is extreme, as was yelling AND what he yelling when the little guy ran into him

  2. Kids running around restaurants is super dangerous and annoying, but it’s the parents who are being idiots, not the bairn. If OP wanted to kick off, he should have ideally brought it to a manager’s attention, or at least directed it at the parents!

  3. Not being comfortable around kids is not an excuse to be a raging dick to one. "Get away from me you stupid idiot" makes OP sound like he's the child here

  4. Not only is this an inappropriate way to talk to anyone who bumps into you by accident, let alone a child, but OP also acknowledges that it was the parents who are in charge of the child’s behavior. The child is a child. OP gets this. It’s pretty blatantly obvious OP took out his anger toward the parents for “not parenting their child” on the child at best, and at worst, he just hates the existence of kids and was thinly veiling his resentment toward children by blaming the parents to validate his outburst.

  5. THIS. OP, you need to move far into the woods where others don’t go. You’re being ridiculous expecting the world to revolve around your issues. You have a bad attitude towards children and it isn’t okay. YTA

  6. OP didn't even communicate any irritation with the child's behaviour to the parents, then proceeded to scream like a toddler at a 5 year old.

  7. I really WANT to say E.SH because I do agree that parents should keep kids from running around at restaurants and they should try to keep them at a reasonable noise level, but oh my god...the absolute level of assholery from OP is beyond the scale to be even remotely comparable. Imagine this from the parents perspective,seeing a full grown adult go hulk-mode on their kid for simply accidentally bumping into him. Lucky the dad didn't see him as being a threat to the child.

  8. It's not like little kids have had a lot of restaurant time over the past year and beyond either, takes time to teach public manners again.

  9. I love that OP had to decide to be the bigger person and not be upset. Like ur the bigger person between you and a 4yo. Congrats?

  10. "I can't judge if the noise level was excessive or if you just decided anything this kid did was going to piss you off."

  11. YTA. You were loaded for bear as soon as you saw the kid. Saying you were not going to show frustration. Why would that be your first thought?

  12. i literally cant imagine being a full grown 32 year old man and acting like this, much less in PUBLIC!! are you not embarrassed??? this is very embarrassing…

  13. Agreed OP has some serious issues. I’m thinking how scared that little kid must have been to have an adult stranger yelling at him. As an adult I would be upset by this if it happened to me today!

  14. My father was emotionally and verbally abusive. His favorite word was “idiot”. Reading this made me so upset for the kid. I hope he doesn’t remember it.

  15. YTA and there is something seriously wrong with you, this type of anger towards children (despite what Reddit might tell you) is not normal or okay.

  16. Seriously. And I say YTA as a child free person who isn't fond of strange children at all. But it's part of the world and people who have kids also deserve to have things like food they didn't make. Children are busy, energetic noisy things. It's just what they are. But it's part of growing up to be a productive adult. This was a complete overreaction. Even if you don't like them, we live in a society and they're still a part of it. OP needs to get over themselves immediately.

  17. Even reddit told him his behavior was completely bullshit lol 😆 the bar was literally in hell and here he is, limbo dancing with the devil lmao

  18. Yes. This isn’t normal. I highly suggest getting evaluated. Like I hear some people are highly trigger sensitive. YTA btw.

  19. Yeah, this guy needs professional help (anger management or whatever). It’s not what happens but how you react to it. I get it - you don’t like kids. But your anger kept increasing steadily till you snapped. YTA

  20. No kidding. There's "not liking kids and avoiding them" and then there's "irrational rage at children for existing." OP needs therapy or something.

  21. I don't like ill-behaved children at restaurants, but I like them a lot more than adults with clear anger issues like OP

  22. What pushes this to YTA for me (even though the parents should have been attempting to control their child) is that there’s numerous reasonable ways to handle this that OP skipped over - ask the parents control the kid, mention it to the waitress, ask for another table, complain to the manager - but nope OP went nuclear on a kid.

  23. I second this. And in the future OP do not go to family restaurants, YOU are not welcome there with your attitude. I don’t like when there are children in restaurants either, but parents ARE allowed to take their kids out to eat. So, being a sane and rational human, I go to sports bars and pubs, or I go after 9 pm. I DO NOT berate other peoples children. There is literallY NO excuse for your behaviour. DO BETTER. YTA

  24. Sir, you are a grown ass man fully capable of emotional regulation. You screamed at a child and called him a stupid idiot. Of course YTA.

  25. He doesn’t sound like he has good emotional regulation. He was “dismayed” to have a child seated at a table in proximity to his before the kid even did anything. If seeing a child is that upsetting, perhaps he shouldn’t go out in public.

  26. The thing is, it doesn't seem like any of his friends were even phased by the child when they were sat at the same table. He was already irritated by the kid even existing which makes me wonder how the kid was *really acting. Was it more like my kid that typically just talks a little louder and paces a little bit when he gets impatient?

  27. I was gonna day the same thing. I get being annoyed about a kid being disruptive, but it seems like OP considers it disruptive to even have a child in their presence, regardless of how they act. If it was that big of a deal then ask to move tables. No need to yell at someone else's kid in a public space.

  28. YTA - A 5 year old bumping into you does NOT EVER warrant anything involving "You stupid idiot!" You know you're the AH and just want the internet to save you.

  29. If OP has such an extreme reaction to even just SITTING NEXT TO a child, before they've even done anything, he needs to go to a bar that's 21+. The world is full of kids. Being in their vicinity is unavoidable. Does this kind of interaction occur with him often? Because I can imagine it does.

  30. YTA. don't yell at the kid for having shitty parents. You could've tried to talk to the parents. He's 5 and bumped your leg? Oh no, how did you survive such an attack??

  31. YTA if your personal anger issues prevent you from conducting yourself in public without yelling and calling a toddler an idiot, you should just stay home

  32. YTA. At any point you could have politely spoke to the parents that their child was being a disturbance. The kid did not run into you intentionally. Yelling at a 5 year old for being a 5 year old is immature. You are the adult and you will likely have to be in spaces where children may be present. You need to grow up

  33. YTA. I’m not sure I can think of a single scenario where it would be appropriate to yell at someone calling them a “stupid idiot,” and especially not a child. My best guess is you get overstimulated easily, and that’s why the child bothered you so much; that discomfort is valid, but the way to handle it is to ask to switch tables long before it gets to this point — and to know that you are the one with an uncommon need, their child being a child (including not being silent) is not the problem. This isn’t a case where everyone in the restaurant was uncomfortable because of this family; it’s you assuming everyone has the same specific need that you do.

  34. YTA and you know it. The kid is 5 and is acting like a 5 year old. You’re 32 acting like you’re a 5 year old. And you’re not uncomfortable around kids, you straight up can’t stand them even if they haven’t done anything yet. Everyone was a little douche at 5 years. The difference here is that you still are one.

  35. YTA if you have a problem with kids (which sounds extreme by the way, are you on the spectrum? Sensory issues? Any other good reason?) don’t go to public places where they might be.

  36. I’m on the spectrum with sensory issues. I LOATHE the yelling and screaming kids do, I physically cringe. However, I’m an adult and I recognize it’s my responsibility to manage MY issues. I have headphones and if it truly gets bad I remove myself from the situation and calm down elsewhere. It’s not the public’s responsibility to tiptoe around your triggers. OP keep your ass home until you get some good virtual therapy under your belt.

  37. ESH. You don’t let your kid run around a restaurant, not just for the comfort of the other diners but for safety. What if you had been a fragile old person and fallen - or a server with a pot of hot coffee that spilled on the child? So these parents were AHs. But you don’t go off screaming insults at a literal child. Get yourself together

  38. I support the ESH, though OP definitely shouldn’t have screamed at a child. It’s not his fault really his parents are being useless. Tell the kid gently to watch out- then call the parents useless idiots.

  39. I think there aren't more ESH because no one trusts the OP to tell an unbiased version of events. For all we know the kid got up to go to the bathroom with mom or dad or something.

  40. I don't know why I had to scroll so far to see an ESH. He's very clearly wrong and the tone through the whole post is pretty offensive, but the parents are definitely not blameless.

  41. For context, I (60F) am not comfortable around entitled 32 year-old males. As long as they leave me alone, I can be in the same area as them for a while, but I do not want to interact with them much…shortly after we were seated, a group with one of them was seated next to me. I was dismayed…the guy was very noisy and yelled, calling someone with limited abilities “a stupid idiot”…I got more and more angry at what should have been a pleasant evening…

  42. Sorry, but YTA. Whether kids are a trigger to you or not, you are the adult and should know better on how to act in restaurants. I would have been embarrassed to be seen there with you, and would avoid making similar plans with you again.

  43. YTA! By doing all that you caused more disruption to everyone than the kid was causing. I work in a restaurant and kids can be annoying, but that's what you sign up for being in public. Maybe had you handled it better and respectfully said something to the parents, it would be a different story. But really, shouting at a 5-year-old? At least he has a reason he can't control himself, you're grown.

  44. YTA big time. You need therapy. It’s one thing to not like kids. Fine. But to have such an averse response? Probably should explore that. You’ll be around kids in public. You’ll need to get over it.

  45. YTA. Don’t yell at and name calling a 5 year old. Try having a mature, grown up conversation. It sounds like you were also in a family friendly restaurant. If you don’t want kids around, go to a bar or somewhere more upscale. Should kids be running around restaurants? Hell no. I have two and don’t allow that behavior, but that’s the parenting of the child. YTA, OP. And a bully.

  46. YTA big time. Yes, the parents should control their child a bit more, but honestly a 5 year old bumping into you can’t hurt that much to warrant yelling at him. He’s just a kid and kids will be kids.

  47. YTA. You are correct to be annoyed at an obnoxious child in a restaurant. But snapping and calling him a "stupid idiot"? Grow the fuck up, you're obviously too immature for your age. But this was obvious from the start of your post by how uncomfortable you are around children in your 30's.

  48. You have to know that YTA. Sure, kids running around a restaurant is annoying but kids can't really control themselves 100 percent of the time. 32 year old adults absolutely CAN and SHOULD control themselves. The parents should have done a better job keeping their kid at the table, they are inconsiderate and lazy and that's their issue. You unfortunately have a temper which is arguably worse. You were heated from the moment they arrived for no particular reason. You were " dismayed" because people were sat down at a table near you? Good god, really? They could just as easily sat a table of extremely obnoxious adults near you but I bet that wouldn't have set you off so easily. Or even worse, they could have sat someone like you there, who just hates your guts because they hate your shirt and they just got so heated that when you got up from your chair to go to the washroom they go off on you because your getting up is distracting to them. Don't go out in public if you're so easily triggered enough to flip shit on a literal child.

  49. Yikes. YTA. If you don't wanna hear or be around children, stay at home, get take out, go to a 21 and up lounge, jfc.

  50. YTA, you were appalled by the thought of even a child breathing the same airspace as you. You set that child up for failure the moment they sat down because YOU were annoyed.

  51. YTA - parents could have done a little better, but you let it bother you so much and then yelled at a kid, who has no idea about consequences of actions, they're just being a kid.

  52. YTA. If you’re not comfortable around children and you have to go to the bathroom, maybe take the long way around so you can avoid the child. Five year-olds can’t always control themselves; theoretically, 32 year-olds should be able to control themselves.

  53. YTA and I hope you have all these wonderful friends with you your whole life cause when your older I doubt your niece or nephew are going to care about you. How can a presense of a kid in a table next to you cause so much frustration it's sad.

  54. YTA - not liking kids is fine. Being an AH to them like that is not. This kid was being a kid...the parents should have had a better handle on the situation here, but that doesn't excuse your extremely immature behavior. Sounds like you were waiting for an excuse to snap at the kid anyways, so definitely Y T A.

  55. YTA. if being around children triggers you that bad, i would suggest therapy if you haven’t already. it’s one thing to not want to have kids or be around them by choice, but if you’re getting angry just because a child is NEAR you, there is a bigger issue.

  56. YTA. Unless this was a high class restaurant and even then, any frustration should be directed at the parents not the child. If this was the local applebees you were way out of line. Who cares if a child bumps your leg. That doesn't make him an idiot, he doesn't really understand what to pay attention to yet. Its not as if hes running into the road.

  57. YTA. It's fine not to like kids but calling a 5-year-old "stupid idiot" literally makes you an asshole but I'm sure you're aware of that

  58. YTA. Whole I totally how annoying it is to see a kid running around a restaurant...your anger should have been directed at the parents. Not the child who was acting like children do.

  59. YTA. Get over yourself. Kids are a part of life and they disrupt everything. That’s how it is. And you definitely shouldn’t be saying words like that in front of them no matter how frustrated you are.

  60. YTA Yeah he shouldn't have been running around and yeah its annoying when kids are shouting but he's 5, he's a kid and didn't deserve to be yelled at by you.

  61. YTA. So you born adult? Fantastic! I get kids can be difficult at a restaurant but you were the only making problems, if he was really that much noisy other people would have told something to the manager. As you are the adult you are the one that have to watch how you put your foot.

  62. This is the kind of thing I was wondering too. As a parent and an older sister (by a lot) it matters. There were times where we couldn’t go to more fine dining setting because of how loud they are at the stage they were in at the time.

  63. YTA. First, you are truly lucky that the father didn’t respond at the same intensity at you that you did at A CHILD! Second, in case you didn’t know you shouldn’t have ever addressed the child. If you felt the need to say anything to anyone it should’ve been his parents. Third, instead of not saying anything from the start you allowed yourself to be ramped up into acting like a total ogre. You could’ve politely asked the parents initially to quiet or control their child. Had you gone about this the grown adult way it’s highly possible that with the child’s behavior running around and being disruptive would’ve been cause for their removal and not yours. Please do yourself and any future children you could interact with a favor and take some anger management classes. Cause WOW

  64. ESH. His parents should have been controlling him. But, you shouldn't have yelled at the child. His parents aren't teaching him any better, so he doesn't know any better and it's not really his fault.

  65. A 5 year old definitely can know the difference if he was raised properly Thats just his parents failing to teach him. Like OP’s parents failed to teach him not to insult children.

  66. Easy YTA, it's a child. Their sometimes noisy. You need to learn to deal with fact that you will be around children. Also rather than yelling at the child talk to the parents, they have to take responsibility for how their child behaves.

  67. Even tho i am childfree as fuck i would NEVER call a kid stupid, much less a freaking toddler! If you were in a highend restaurant imma say ESH, parent's should keep an eye on their kid all the time, but if you were in a kid's friendly f- off, YTA, if you can't behave like the adult of the situation don't go out, you kill the mood for everyone around you.

  68. Is high-end relevant? There are still servers carrying trays with loads of things that could be dangerous if the child ran into any of them.

  69. ESH. The parents for not controlling their child. But you for having a go at a child. If you want a child free dining experience find a restaurant that doesn't allow children maybe or eat later when children aren't going to be around. Don't yell at a child because his parents cant control him and he bumped you.

  70. YTA- it’s completely understandable to be frustrated but how you handled it was not ok. You don’t yell rude things at a 5 year old because you are not their parent, you don’t have any knowledge of what their capacity for understanding you or the appropriateness of their behavior, and because you don’t have the right to yell at anyone in public without any warning regardless of your age.

  71. At the age of 3 our child understood how to behave in a Restaurant - however as soon as we noticed him getting antsy we packed it up, left a large tip, and went home. Our child was NEVER allowed to run around a Restaurant!

  72. Thank you! Like OP was an ass, but the comments on this thread almost make it seem like its normal for a kid to be allowed to run around a restaurant. What? Unless its a kids' place, that's not okay!

  73. YTA. If you were going to yell at someone it should have been the parents. Me personally I would have just said excuse me to the kid and maybe gave a hairy eyeball to the father as I walked by.

  74. YTA. You were determined to be annoyed at offended the moment a child came within your precious line of sight. Go to a restaurant with a bar and eat there if you’re so afraid that a child’s voice might damage your delicate sensibilities. You’re lucky the child’s parents didn’t have you thrown out of the restaurant. If I were your friends I would drop you. You showed them your true nature, and it’s ugly.

  75. YTA! You're the grownup between you and him, act! like it. If you really can't control your emotions and your heatred is that! deep, then maybe don't go to places where the odds are good families with kids will also show up. Was the kid disruptive and his parents too carefree? Yes that very well might be, but he's an innocent 5 year old and dumping into you was a complete! accident. You blew this way out of the water, and if simply being around/close to children outside your family rallies you up this! much then you should talk to someone professional to get tips on how to get by/how to control yourself while being around kids, because guess what, the world is filled with them, and you being allowed to be angry at them for simply entering the same place you're in and being reminded of their excistance isn't! the answer!

  76. YTA. Speak to the parents, not the kid. Not feeling comfortable around children or whatever you said is not an excuse to yell at a child who BUMPED your leg…

  77. OMG YTA bro If you hate kids THAT much, you should've just requested to get a different table. There's literally no excuse for your behavior. It was extremely inappropriate for a 32 year old man.

  78. YTA. You can't just go around calling children idiots, no matter the amount of anger you have. I have a nephew he is 4. Is he annoying sometimes and cry a lot? Yes. Do I call him an idiot for it? Absolutely not. I wouldn't think of calling other peoples children idiots either.

  79. YTA. You yelled at a child who clearly doesn’t know any better because his parents haven’t taught him better. If anything you should’ve taken it up with the parents, not the child. Also “stupid idiot” is way harsh. He’s just a child. Sorry you don’t like kids but that doesn’t give you the right to be shitty to them.

  80. YTA. It is a kid. You not being comfortable wih kids does not mean you get to call them an idiot. You are an adult. Talk to the parents or stay away from places where you might interact with kids. Grow up.

  81. YTA. It's not the kid's fault that his parents suck. If you had called THEM stupid idiots for not watching their child, that would have been justified assholery. But yelling at the kid was not okay.

  82. YTA even of you don't like kids, he didn't deserve to be called a "stupid idiot". He's a CHILD. What you could have done is talked to management about it and see that it is taken care of.

  83. YTA, if you have such a loathing or children & anger management troubles, you could have asked to not be seated near a child or just not go out.

  84. YTA with the emotional and social intelligence of a 2-year-old. While I’m not a fan of parents who let their small children run wild in a restaurant, calling a small boy an idiot is just awful assholery behavior. Next time, order out.

  85. YTA... You are going to run into children in public, get used to it. Learn how to be respectful of those around you. The kid is still learning this skill, you could be an example of a proper way to act in public, instead you caused a scene...also acting like a child.

  86. ESH. You for shouting at a child and the parents for allowing him to run around a restaurant and bump into people. If you’d been a server with hot coffee or soup, the kid would really have something to cry about.

  87. YTA. Dude. This is not normal behaviour. Normal people do not become dismayed when a child enters a public space. Normal people do not call children names. You know what I say when a child is in my way? "beep beep traffic jam" and u know what they fucking move and they smile and we go about our business. Normal people can control themselves when a child is misbehaving, and based on your personality I'd bet he wasn't all that noisy. Get a team of mental health professionals and dig into that trauma bucko cause you're not okay.

  88. YTA. The kid was acting like a kid. If you had a problem, you should have said something to the parents and not yelled at the kid. It sounds like you were irritated as soon as the kid got there and were looking for a reason to be angry. Then, when you thought you had one, you resorted to calling names as though you were the child.

  89. YTA, he's a small child. They have energy they need to get out, while yes, the parents should've handled their kid better, YOU should've handled your temper better. Calling a CHILD a stupid idiot?! If you can't stand to even be around children so much you stoop down to insulting and yelling at them, you need some therapy to work out your anger, and need to just not go out in public for fear of coming in contact with children.

  90. AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read

  91. YTA. 100%. Not your kid, not your job to yell at him. How old are you MENTALLY? Like 12? Are you kidding me? Grow up. The “stupid idiot” is what really got to me, no kid should be called a “stupid idiot” by some random stranger.

  92. ESH. The kid’s parents shouldn’t have let him run wild like that, that would’ve made me angry too, but you also yelled at a 5 year old and called him an idiot. Grow up.

  93. YTA: And here's why these days people don't understand that kids are human beings YOU were once a child heck judging by your post you sound more unbehaved than him as an adult let alone as a child children are people, individuals who just are just developing and learning about the world treat children as other people not as unsophisticated animals.

  94. You are definitely TA and you have terrible social skills. You were completely out of line for speaking to a child like that whether he bumped into you or not. He’s 5!!! He doesn’t know any better. Yes the parents failed to keep him in line, but you overreacted and should have requested a different table.

  95. Look, it's easy. Either you are a functioning member of society and regardless your dislikes you manage to keep a bare minimum of social decorum (as in not screaming insults at other people), or you are not because the mere act of existence of someone can trigger you. YTA

  96. YTA - yelling at a stranger who accidently bumps into you is an asshole move. Double for it being a little kid. It's fine to not be a kid person, but you're downright hostile.

  97. YTA. We seem to be in an "it's ok to hate on kids" month on AITA. If this post is serious you need therapy. It's not normal to go around hating on an entire group of people. Of seeing or being around children causes you this much stress you need help. People won't/can't/shouldn't accommodate your dislike of children. If I were to go around saying "I've never been comfortable around adults" how would that sound? Crazy, right? ALL children are not the same. Some kids are well behaved, some are not, no different than adults.

  98. YTA unpredictable things happen in a PUBLIC space with all humans not just children. If things like that bother you stay home or go adult only (would a loud adult bug you?). You can’t control the background of public spaces. Is it annoying? Yes! I agree. But the fact that you called a child an idiot speaks volumes about your control not a rambunctious 5 year old.

  99. YTA. A simple watch where you’re going, kid, in an ordinary tone would have sufficed. Since children upset you to such an extent, you might want to do some thinking on why that is because children will continue to exist in the world.

  100. YTA. I think with such a strong reaction to children being near you, you may want to look into counseling.

  101. YTA - you sounds like an extremely miserable human that lacks social skills. Do the world a favor and never leave your home!

  102. Why is this even a question? YTA, your also mad at the wrong person. You shouldn’t be mad at the kid you should be mad at the parents. The kid is just that, a kid. They doesn’t know any better especially since their parents arent correcting their behavior. Because of that the kid thinks it’s perfectly okay to act that way out in public since the parents never did anything to correct them.

  103. I honestly don’t know how else to ask this—is there something psychologically wrong with you? None of this is normal and you obviously can’t emotionally regulate. YTA unless you have an undiagnosed condition that’s gone untreated.

  104. YTA. You decided from the beginning that you were going to hate this kid. You were "dismayed" even when he had done nothing? WTF. This makes me doubt your complaints about everything that followed. And even if your account is completely accurate, you were completely over the top and cruel to the kid. A reasonable thing to do would have been to ask the kid's parents to mind him, or to complain to the manager.

  105. YTA. You can not like kids and still be a decent human being. Don’t call any child a stupid idiot…I thought that would be common sense but apparently not.

  106. YTA. C'mon, dude, what you yelled was entirely inappropriate. You should have spoken to the parents, or better yet a manager if the kid was being disruptive, so they could handle it. But a grown man yelling at a 5yrd and calling them a "stupid idiot" is completely AH behavior.

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