AITA for admitting I don’t like it that my gf is going to make more?

  1. This post has been removed due to the status of the original poster's account. This account is currently shadowbanned or suspended, suggesting this account is in violation of Reddit terms of service.

  2. YTA. You don’t like her increased confidence, you don’t like her standing up to your mother (but you don’t either) and you don’t like her focusing on networking and going forward in her industry.

  3. It would be freaking awesome if my wife made 5x as much as I do...Oh no, we could pay the house off! We could afford to pay out of pocket for our kids college tuitions! We could retire comfortably! Man, that would just suck!

  4. I’m baffled he’s not happy his girlfriend is making so much money. My husband and I have the mentality of “a raise for you is a raise for me” like he would love if I made 2x or 5x more than him

  5. YTA. First world problems amirite? You chose a career with not as much potential earnings as your girlfriend. Your mother shouldnt be saying rude things to an adult. If your mom has something to say, she can say it privately to you and be judgemental and bipolar all she wants but it is not your girlfriends problem.

  6. were all about it when you made more $$ than your gf, she didn't stand up for herself around your hyper-judgmental mother, she wasn't as career-focused, and she did more for you.

  7. YTA. You should be happy for her; you also shouldn’t be running on the assumption that it’s her job to cook, clean, wear skirts and overall be “pleasant” for you like a 1950s housewife. At some point she’ll hopefully realize she deserves better…but I bet you’ll blame the breakup on her.

  8. YTA. You seem very jealous of her. You're her boyfriend. Be happy for her, don't bring her down. Your poor girlfriend is just being judged for making a lot of money, and it's even more sad considering how it's by her own boyfriend.

  9. Lmao major YTA. Where do we start? You’re jealous that your girlfriend is making more than you because it is a shot to your ego. You started off by saying that your earning potential is reaching it’s limit, so we know the true reason why you’re upset. It’s because you know that your chances of making more money are fading. Secondly, why are you counting your girlfriend’s pockets instead of trying to increase your own? And why are you upset that she became more confident and realized that her abilities are making her a hot commodity?

  10. Imagine being mad that your partner is a go-getter. Imagine seeing your partner strive for better and pouting over it instead of supporting her. Imagine the thought of wanting being the focal point of your relationship and wanting control of your partner so much that you’d prefer to potentially sacrifice one hundred ten thousand dollars annually. If this isn’t hustling backward, I don’t know what is.

  11. YTA. Although she may not be working insane hours, I'm sure that higher salary comes with more stress and responsibility. And very likely, more networking. She probably does not have the physical and/or mental energy to keep up with the same level of housework.

  12. Wowwwww this is the epitome of when an incel finally tricks a woman into dating them. Fix your weird insecurity and celebrate that your girlfriend is good at what she does. Or maybe be more proactive with your own career, you’re so focused on here you can’t get anything better. Pathetic. YTA.

  13. YTA. She is changing and that’s ok. Sounds like you’re both pretty young, and you may not be compatible any more. It’s ok to break up if she’s not the same woman you fell for. It’s not ok to resent or snipe at her because she puts up with less shit than she used to.

  14. YTA, if you can’t deal with her success, you are not a good match for her. She can do better than someone who will put her down for those successes.

  15. GOING to make more? She's already making more. Who would be upset their partner is exceling in their career. It sounds like you're very connected value wise to your conservative parents, go find someone who shares those values and leave your hot rich girlfriend. YTA

  16. YTA and a misogynist. Every point in your post reeks of it. Instead of supporting her, you’re jealous. That makes you the issue, not her job, her salary or increased confidence.

  17. YTA. Other commenters have listed excellent reasons why, so I don’t need to repeat them. What I will add though is that you need to examine why you still cling on to this outdated misogynistic bullshit, because the sour whiff of 1950s desperation is strong.

  18. YTA. You're just insecure and bothered that your GF is actually confident and standing up for herself given that you clearly aren't. Your mom is being awful by trying to control her apparency and you never stuck to for her, you're a bad insecure BF and if you continue treating her like that she's gonna leave you

  19. YTA Maybe you should find a new gf who makes less than you and make sure she has no ambition to ever make more. I hope your gf makes 300K by the end of next year and enjoy life with her new bf

  20. YTA. Stop being so insecure. If my wife got a job that paid her $215k a year, I'd fricking throw a party...You don't mention how old you are...but, there comes a point, where you start looking at money differently. $215 grand a year? My brain sees that, and goes, ok, how much could we put away into retirement funds, how quickly could we pay off the mortgage, what should we invest in, what home projects could we get done, where would we go on vacation with the kids, etc.

  21. AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read

  22. Do you have any idea how many guys (myself included) would LOVE it if their GF or wife made more income than them? Count your blessings man. Stop being AH now.

  23. You are actually a horrible bf. You should be happy for her. You even could be making more money if you DID open a clinic but you’re too lazy. Sounds like you’re an insecure money hungry dirtbag.

  24. YTA - you sound jealous and bitter. Your girlfriend can dress however she wants and she absolutely should try to make as much money as possible. You should be proud and encourage her. Instead you are insecure and trying to hold her back.

  25. YTA grow up. She sounds like she’s tired of your mom being pushy and judgmental. She’s starting to wise up and realize her worth and honestly with they way you talk about your parents she’s probably going to dump you soon.

  26. YTA. Do her a favor and break up. Grow some big boy pants, cut your insecurities out, stop listening to you mother, and only then will you be ready to consider a relationship.

  27. YTA. You are sick. You hate that she is refusing to take abuse? Is that because its getting harder to control her? To manipulate her? To keep her in her place? What a pathetic little boy. Don't worry, you'll be single soon.

  28. YTA. You two aren’t suited. It sounds like she’s always been ambitious and that you were okay with that until she actually became successful.

  29. YTA. This is who she always was, she is more confident and is more comfortable showing who she is, and frankly she seems pretty amazing. You are trying to cramp her style to maintain traditional gender roles, from the outside you sound insecure. This is who she is, if you don’t like her today, you should break up, she will find someone who can see her amazingbess.

  30. YTA. Your girlfriend is doing great for herself and you’re holding her back. She’s outgrown you now and needs to leave. As for your mother telling her what to wear? Nothing to do with her

  31. YTA. So she's learned she has more value than being your meek girlfriend. People value her for her brain and skills and you are losing your grip on her because she's no longer putting up with your mom's shitty comments and your enabling behavior. She's not cleaning and cooking for you and instead, is investing in her contacts and future. She's not arrogant. She just knows her worth and you're both starting to realize that she'll probably leave because, as a partner, what do you bring to the table, besides resentment, misogyny, jealousy, and a general sense of entitlement to her domestic labor? Don't worry, I'm sure you and your mommy will be very happy together.

  32. YTA. Sure, money can definitely change people--sometimes for the worse--but there's no scenario here where you come out as not TA.

  33. YTA. jealous misogynistic mama's boy. just let her go. she is becoming confident, you want a submissive girl whom you can control. your fragile ego is hurt.

  34. LOL. Money didn't change her, it changed you. YTA here. Not her. Your fragile masculinity can't handle the fact that she is more successful than you. Here's what you do...break up with her and find yourself a nice little trophy wife that will agree to sit at home and inflate your ego. You're the worst.

  35. OMG... how could you possibly think you AREN'T the TA ???? This woman chose a career that would set her up for success. Something she is good at and means her financial security. She is not your wife. Her financial situation is her business. And frankly your mother sounds like a witch. I wouldn't put up with her bs either. Do you ever think that this was just the tipping point of her putting up with that behavior? Not that she is more confident but she was just completely fed up. If this is how you treat your gf, I hope she walks away from your toxic masculinity issues and you cocky mother.

  36. You chose the job bud, she chose hers, she's winning, you're winning, quit being a sissy, my wife makes zero money and watches our kids, it's all on me and I would kill to have my partner make that much money, quit whining and grow the fuck up

  37. You are holding her back and being jealous and envious bc she’s a woman and you were used to seeing a woman be home cooking, cleaning for her man and taking care of children. Then dump her a find a woman’s hat wants to be a SAHP. Let her fly into the arms of another man that isn’t worried about her money.

  38. Sorry dude — if you were a cool guy who could keep up with her you guys would probably work out but you’re bitter and looking for someone to stay beneath you — so she’ll leave you for someone who can handle her.

  39. YTA not for admitting it, but for feeling that way. You both make 6 figures and you should feel extremely lucky but instead you’re upset that her 6 figures are a little higher than yours? Grow up, dude.

  40. YTA. Your idea of what men and women should do in a family isn’t her problem, it’s yours. Celebrate that she’s successful- having money in savings isn’t about ego, it’s about saving for retirement, emergencies, etc.

  41. Yta yta yta yta yta yta yta. No matter how many i type there it's not going to be enough. Go nurse your wounded fragile male ego somewhere else

  42. FIRST OFF she can wear what she wants WHEN she wants Oh she was okay to earn 70 k when you earned 100+ k but now she earns more she's totally different? So basically you want her to cover up, stay home, cook and clean for you? Welcome to the 21st century where woman can step out of the kitchen and work just as hard as men and the same amount of money. ALSO why does it matter if HER money is sitting in her account? I hope she leaves you and soon

  43. YTA. Rather than lifting your girlfriend up and celebrating her accomplishments with her, you're being critical and jealous while also standing by and letting your mother be critical as well. Get over it or get out.

  44. YTA. It is almost never just 1 person’s fault, and in this instance it definitely is not your gf. You are jealous of her shorter hours, her bigger pay, her going out networking, and her new job offer. You think she should make less than a man and be subservient to you and your mother. She has realized that she doesn’t have to…she can be her own person…just. Like. You.

  45. Wow, YTA. Your girlfriend is more confident and no longer putting up with nasty comments about her appearance. This is a good thing, not a problem.

  46. YTA. Stop putting your own insecurities and ego first. If you loved her more than your own pride, you’d be happy for her

  47. YTA. If you weren't such a weak person you would be proud of her for standing up for herself to your mom's rudeness, and proud of her savvy and hard work getting a great job.

  48. YTA, sounds like your gf is has grown too mature for your relationship now and too mature for you. Maybe if you got rid of your toxic and sexist mindset, you'd have a chance but... sucks to say you probably don't

  49. YTA! While there needs to be respect both ways in a relationship especially when it comes to parents, you sound like you want a subservient GF who does housework instead of building a better life together.

  50. YTA. Dude, just date a girl who wants to be a housewife for you. You and your girl are clearly not compatible. You are not cut out to date a successful, strong woman.

  51. Oh, to be a man complaining that my wife is making $215k… I’m sure if you’re not happy in this relationship A LOT of other guys would be extremely happy to be with her instead. YTA.

  52. YTA. None of your issues have to do with your girlfriend. They all have to do with your insecurity of not being the breadwinner. You need to go to therapy and figure stuff out. You’re insecure and sad. Your gf deserves better

  53. Yta, you want something your parents had. You don’t know how to be second fiddle to someone else’s success. She has changed. You can either accept the change or move on. Additionally, Start building your success. Get your clinic.

  54. YTA. You're clearly jealous and bitter that she makes more money than you. Your mother is nasty towards her yet you blame your girlfriend for your mother's bad behavior. You want your girlfriend to make less money or no money so that you can feel important. Just because you're not as ambitious as she is that doesn't mean she should sacrifice her career for you. She doesn't keep her money in the bank to inflate her ego; she's saving for the future, which is smart. I bet you wouldn't be complaining if she spent the money on you. And how about YOU stop being lazy and start cooking and cleaning? You're selfish and sexist to expect her to do it.

  55. It sounds like your gf is just growing up, finding her confidence, and coming into her own. Her “ego” is her crawling out from under your thumb and expectations. You sound controlling, insecure, bossy, and unappreciative of her.

  56. GF has outgrown OP. He is a child. YTA, OP. And you don’t get to control your hopefully ex girlfriend, nor does your AH mother. You’re jealous and selfish.

  57. YTA. The only ego problem here is yours. You can't stand that your girlfriend is more successful. But what's really cringey is that you tell her what to wear so she won't offend your mommy. Just wow. Girlfriend should find a man, not an insecure momma's boy.

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