What is the single most “you’ll understand it when you’re older” thing?

  1. Health issues. I know I've been genetically lucky, but after 20, random shit just starts happening for no reason. It's like Darryl developing a soy allergy at 35, who develops a soy allergy at 35?

  2. That's something I've come to realize about myself. I feel I'm a pretty morally good person... I try to do the right thing, want to help where I can, and lose sleep when i can't. I'm just not... very nice. Like, I'll happily do what you need done, because it's right to help and makes me feel good to do it. I just don't want to interact with you any more than strictly necessary.

  3. Yes! There are all types of "combinations" of people. Kind, yet manipulative. Successful, yet an asshole. Magnetic personality, but a liar.

  4. This is very true; that said, some people will carry their high school behavior with them into the adult world and especially into the workplace, so it's important to keep your guard up and learn how to deal with those types.

  5. Understanding why your parents wanted you to go play with the awkward kid, or why they were so keen to help you make friends.

  6. My mom never liked my friend group and it really annoyed me. Looking back half of them were assholes anyway and the other half were already doing things that led them into a life of drug addiction after high school. I never got into drinking and drugs like that but everyone around me was doing it and I had every opportunity to. Looking back she was just looking out for me and even though she didn’t have proof of what we we’re doing she was just an adult who had lived and could tell it wasn’t a good group if friends.

  7. Staying friends with people once you don't see each other at school every day is hard work. I'm still in college but I'm one of the youngest of my friends and so almost everyone else has graduated. Especially with the pandemic going on, it takes real effort to maintain those relationships when I'm not just around them by default anymore.

  8. You all just grow up and move away. As much as we hate "social media" - I'm happy it exists because i can easily contact my old friends.

  9. And similarly how when you're young you take making friends for granted and don't realise how much harder it is when you get older.

  10. Yep. My high school best friend got pregnant our senior year, and she found out the day she turned 17. She had the baby 6 months to the day before my birthday, and she gave the baby my middle name, which is not used really at all so it's not like she can go, "it was my grandma's!"

  11. Now I’m like “Was McDonald’s always this damn expensive?”. For the price now I might as well get Five Guys or In N Out.

  12. Man, I don’t know how parents in particular survived before the microwave oven. I’m a reasonably not-incompetent home cook, I understand there’s nothing you can do with a microwave that you can’t do without one - but doing without requires a lot more time, attention, and planning ahead, all of which are in very short supply with little kids underfoot.

  13. We had to put my mom in a home because we physically could not care for her anymore. She didn’t want to be there and we didn’t want her to be. But there weren’t any other options.

  14. In High School I used to volunteer at an old peoples homes and a lot of them were not nice, some even racist.

  15. The quiet, boring, simple, times are the best. Everyone's fed, happy, healthy, chill, napping... these are the good times.

  16. Yup...I used to dislike nap times when I was in kindergarten. Now that I'm older, I wish I could take a nap here and there during my work days.

  17. Ugh this 100x. I had a babysitter when I was like 7 tell me that someday I would miss taking naps and wish I could take them. My parents made us take naps on Sunday afternoons to give them a break...or now that I think about it, maybe to have sex. Don't know dont care. Anyway, I remember thinking how silly that statement was. I would never wish I could take naps. Here i am, 24 years old and naps are the shit.

  18. Thank you for saying this. My unit was closed after 20 years and it has been a struggle. I try to focus on the people helped, things learned. And to find something else that gives me the same thrill. Or maybe comparable thrill.

  19. Time...wasting time, and how time flies. It’s mid Dec & I’m saying to myself ‘what the heck-it’s been 9 months of Covid & I can’t believe this year is almost over’! As you age it seems to go faster & faster. When I was younger I felt like time just dragged on some days.

  20. I can remember when I was school age, the year seemed to drag on forever, then when it did end we had the six weeks holidays. Six whole weeks! With hour upon hour of sunshine, towards the end of it school was but a distant memory. It felt like it would never end. Of course it always did when September finally arrived.

  21. I think the reason time flies faster when you’re older is because you have more life to compare it to. Making a day seem shorter in the grand scheme of things the older you get.

  22. A lot of people have said they think this is because we have more time to compare to as we age, but I think it's something else. I think time starts to fly by because of the way our brains process experiences and store them as memories.

  23. This one really set my mind free once i took it to heart. I actually like when people at work for examplr act like they hate you when they havent even had a conversation with you.

  24. Hand me downs. I absolutely hated them, even though my grandma was a genius with them. Dyeing, artistic patches, new buttons... They just didn't last compared to the new clothes my older sister had. Then I had 3 boys in 6 years... I'm seriously grateful that my grandma tried so hard to make my hand me downs look good. I get it now.

  25. I totally thought that I was going to buy all new cute stuff for my kiddo. Then the pandemic hit and I hate buying online. My brother came by with an enormous bag full of clothes from size 18m-3t and my SIL had kept them all in PRISTINE condition despite the fact that most of them had been worn by both of my nephews and I’m SO GRATEFUL. Kiddo won’t need new clothes for at least a year (hopefully - he’s growing fast)! Same when I lost weight really rapidly. Buying new clothes is too expensive when they’re going to be hanging off you in 2 months. Go to the thrift store!

  26. Something a little more lighthearted, but about half the jokes on cartoons like SpongeBob take on a whole new light once you've got more experience under your belt.

  27. As someone who works in retail, I cannot identify enough with Squidward's quote from the episode where he and Spongebob went on strike...

  28. When adults said something was "too sweet," I literally couldn't comprehend that phrase. It was an oxymoron to me. Sweet = Good. How can something be too good???

  29. I used to drink lemonade every time I went out. At some point I switched and for years now I've drank not much other than water.

  30. Literally getting older. Never thought much about when adults would say “You’re still young, just enjoy it”. I always wanted to be older because I was tired of HS, wanted to be out of college, etc. Now I want aging to slow down a bit.

  31. The thing that is the worst about getting older is seeing your parents and other loved ones age and eventually pass away. When you're a kid (even a high school age kid) you assume these people will just be around forever and things will always stay the same as they were. It makes it easier to be disrespectful and generally take them for granted. I'm now 35, and this year was the first where I started noticing physical limitations with my dad especially and that was hard. They're minor for now, but it's only going to get worse.

  32. My great-grandmother used to warn us that time speeds up when you’re older. By gum, I think she’s right!

  33. honestly it depends on your childhood. I'm entering my late 20s now (definitely not old, but years away from being a kid), and I can whole-heartedly say, I started enjoying my life way more after college. Before then, I didn't have the means to properly care for myself, and was a depressed, anxious mess living off of ramen noodles.

  34. When I was pregnant I went to visit my hometown and my friends through a baby shower for me, and I also had a few birthday presents from people for my birthday the month before. When I was packing to go home, there wasn’t room for the baby stuff + the stuff for me, so I took home all the baby stuff and left my presents behind for my Granny to bring up at a later date. And I remember sitting there looking at my suitcase being like “oh, so this is how it’s going to be”

  35. Lol it was the opposite in my family when it comes to Christmas lights. The rest of the family found them "meh" but my mom loves them so we went every year just to watch her enjoy it lol

  36. Teenagers are just kids. It's something I quite literally was not capable of understanding until I wasn't a teenager anymore. When I was a teenager I felt soooo grown up.

  37. Underwear too. The nice stuff is expensive, and let’s be honest, we all have a few pairs that need replacing.

  38. I learned that as a teenager; I needed socks around the holiday season so I ended up getting about a dozen pairs.

  39. Things simply just don’t work out. A job, a partner, sometimes family, and friends. The most well intended people just don’t always work out.

  40. In my teens and 20's, I just couldn't understand how my parents were so oblivious to celebrities. They were all over TV, their names and faces blasted on everything, it seemed everybody had some strong emotionally charged opinion about every major actor, musician, director, or tabloid magnet. What are they, living under a rock?

  41. I have not experienced this with movie/tv folks, but in the last 2 or 3 years it seems like all of the musicians on the pop station have been replaced. I used to know who sang just about every new song I liked, now I'm lucky to guess 1 in 10.

  42. I try to explain this to my students all the time. They act so shocked and disgusted when I don't know who some random tik tok person is.

  43. I've seen comments on here like "such and such is a national treasure and should be revered for the goddess they are," and I literally have no idea who they are, and google them to find I've not only never seen them in anything, but never even heard of the things they're most famous for.

  44. Research (that I'm too lazy to go look up and cite right now) says you pretty much completely disconnect from popular youth culture by about 27.

  45. Yup!! In my early 20s I knew all the celebrities and artists. Who is dating who, the drama, etc. Read the magazines.

  46. I very wise mentor once asked me who the most important person in my life was, to which I replied without thinking "My son." He said something to the effect of no, he is very important to you and your love is true, but you did not choose him. He is yours and you will love him, but you chose your wife and she will be the most important person for as long as the both of you recognize that. I think about that a lot.

  47. There’s really no going back- you really just get one shot with each hour you get. Just have to make your peace with the choice/path you took and keep it moving.

  48. King Triton, Ariel’s dad was right. She was just a child and she was not “in love” with the random prince she saw for all of 30 seconds.

  49. Honestly, this is a great example of what's wrong with parent-child interactions, because when we were kids, we did agree with Ariel. We were persuaded by her emotions and saw her desires as our own. As adults, we have a fully developed brain (hopefully) and more life experience, and therefore we aren't convinced by the ephemeral, but intense emotions, that kids/teenagers have. But rather than validating Ariel's feelings, interests, and desires, Triton's basically like "You're wrong for feeling that way, and also I'm going to destroy your room." Which actually happens. Parents actually do that and are then surprised when the kid turns to the only validating adult in the room, who just might be a soul-stealing witch.

  50. Entire movie is bullshit. She could sign a contract with Ursula, but she couldn't tell the prince anything with a note. And that chef wound up being an alien puddle of goo. Who TF is in charge of undersea education? What's really going on their schools?? Something is rotten in denmark

  51. As a teenager I’ve learned that finding something I love to do was the best way to cure the blues. I’ve fallen in love with music, playing and listening, and lemme just say Alan Jackson and George Jones are probably the only reason I’m alive today

  52. I had to learn how to be okay being lonely shortly after I turned 21. I was by myself, 1500 miles away from my family and had just gotten out of a very very rocky relationship. To say it was a difficult 4 months is an understatement.

  53. I was one of those latchkey 80s kids. Starting at around six years old, I spent a lot of time alone. By the time I was 8 or 9, I was mostly alone at home. By the time I was a teenager, it was just my nature to avoid interaction at home.

  54. I knew the “the dog ran away” or “the bunny went to live on a ranch with all his friends” trope early on and thought it was dumb that any kid would fall for that.

  55. I cringe so much when I think about how I used to think I knew everything when I was a teen, and everything had to be so unnuanced. I'm pretty much the opposite now, which is funny because back then I thought that I was pretty much fully developed and that this was how I was going to be forever.

  56. Some people never come to this understanding. They want to see everything as absolutes all their lives.

  57. Money. There was a reason that you didn't get those shoes, the PS5, a new shiny car, etc. Maintaining a home and keeping the family fed is fucking expensive.

  58. It's funny. We try teach our kids abkut money. For a while we gave then £2 a week but that just ended up they spent it straight away on chocolate.

  59. Glad my parents sat me down and explained all this to me. I feel I'm so much more grateful for everything now...

  60. Not all people have your best interests at heart. People will take advantage of your kindness and compassion. And finally, that everyone's else's problems are not your own. You can try to help people but they have to want to help themselves.

  61. I feel that younger people are the ones who understand this and adults are famously oblivious to it.

  62. On a positive note, there is a freedom to being a grown up that I didn't grasp as a kid. Just last week, a 4th grader posited the question, "What's it like to be grown up?"

  63. I live on my own now but I still struggle with understanding that this place is mine and I can do whatever I want. Wanna take a nap? Wanna eat takeout? Want to stay till 5 am playing games? I am the only one to deal with the consecuences and no one to judge me anymore.

  64. I've always felt you can regret something, or you can learn a lesson from it. When I regret something I'm usually shaming myself about making a bad choice. When I learn from something, I usually have forgiven myself for whatever happened and looked for ways to learn lessons from it.

  65. I had cancer a couple years ago, (I’m good now!) and watching how hard it was for my mom to see me go through that all....I wouldn’t have understood if it weren’t for my own daughter. She was so strong for me. ❤️

  66. I lost my Mom August 2020. I can sincerely say that I feel like I’ve “learned” more in the last 3months than I have in my entire life. I’ve gone from someone who thought being right and doing the right thing was the most important thing to understanding that being kind, loving, compassionate & empathetic is so much more important. Always choose love. You will never regret it. Ever.

  67. So true it hurts. My husband fell ill after 30 years with a very profitable and successful company. They let him go and without insurance within several years we lost almost everything. I am proud he is still standing. He fought through a lot of depression and guilt. His only regret - not taking better care of his health and believing his work would care. They don't.

  68. I really relate to this one. My grandad is super generous when it comes to his kids and grandkids. He loves to buy us gifts and the younger ones love it while the rest of us are like "na man, let me take care of that. You've done your part getting this family this far, it's our turn now."

  69. All these comments about money and managing your finances make me kinda sad considering i was the opposite. I had to mature at a really young age because of my deadbeat waste of space father milking my mothers purse dry, she had nobody to vent to and very soon i became her confidant...at 8 years old. I don’t blame her, she was struggling and needed someone and if anything we’re as close as we are now because of it but now i’m left with constant anxiety whenever she’s a little low for the month and willingly let her pile her issues onto me even if i regret it after. I wish more than anything I could’ve had just a few more years to be a normal child. Oh well.

  70. Chasing orgasms gets old. You really want to spend your time with someone you like talking to.

  71. Also as you have the veil lifted on a few close friends' problems you begin to realize everyone else's life may not be as great as it looks.

  72. How stupid you are right now. People tend to think they're pretty knowledgeable and wise at any given moment in their life, but then you age a decade and look back and think "wow, I was SUCH an idiot. How did I not realize how much of a douche bag I was being?" and other such things. Then you'll think "I'm glad I'm better now, now I'm pretty knowledgeable and wise."

  73. One of my favorite phrases is, “I’m just old and wise enough to realize how young and stupid I still am.”

  74. When I was a kid my dad and I had a tradition every week of going to the video store and renting a movie or two to watch together. It was one of my favorite things to do, but I remember I used to get really upset at him because every single time we'd actually start to watch the movie he would fall asleep.

  75. My dad was also working multiple demanding minimum wage jobs when I was a kid!! I remember he made a sincere effort to play outside with us a lot but it was so obvious how tired he was. It would annoy my brother and I that he couldn't often keep up. Now I work 40 hours a week at a decent job and make good money, I don't have any kids and I'm still tired all the time. You really underestimate how much your parents love you when you're young.

  76. This is why I've seen the first 15 minutes of all 324 episodes of Criminal Minds and 335 episodes of CSI. My daughter loves these crime shows and likes me snuggling on the couch with her to watch them. She thinks it's funny that I fall asleep every time.

  77. I remember my dad would grumble when I would ask “what’s for dinner?” the moment he walked in the door after work. I always thought I was sitting there for hours getting hungry and when he got home dinner would be started.

  78. The value of discipline. You might have all the brains or potential in the world, but without discipline, everything you hold dear to you, all the 'smarts' that you used to validate yourself as an excuse, is snatched away within the blink of an eye. It might have been cool to embody the character of that stereotypical lazy whiz kid, who gets things done when needed, when you were younger, perhaps as an adolescent, as you'd have liked to think that you'd pull it off the same.

  79. This is something I’m slowly realising and recognising that I need to work on. I am absolutely a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kinda gal, and also lucky enough that I was born reasonably smart and articulate - enough to overcome some pretty shitty circumstances growing up. But now I’m in my mid-twenties the playing field is levelling off, and my vices and personality flaws (rather than environmental factors) are probably the number one thing that’s holding me back from the shit I really want to achieve - where it’s less the raw potential that matters, and more the discipline that’s needed to refine and direct that energy.

  80. I'm noticing I have that problem heavily right now, I can even concentrate on writing 2 sentences without watching YouTube videos next to it. the Internet is a curse and a c... I don't remember the rest

  81. What it truly feels like when your body starts to give out on you. It's so fucking subtle and sneaky. It feels like your body is gaslighting you. Like the rules of nature and the universe, according to all of your experience up to this point, have suddenly been thrown out the window. For the first time in a long time you find yourself asking "how long is it going to take to get better?" and you have no fucking idea anymore.

  82. This is morbid but...when people decide to die. Like, I never understood why someone would kill themselves. Now I understand that the well of pain and loneliness is just too much for some.

  83. The problem is that you never know what will be a phase and what will become a defining identity for their entire life, so it's better not to dismiss any of them as 'phases' to their face. Plenty of 50-year-old communists, vegan activists, tennis obsessees and goths definitely were mocked for those "phases" for years.

  84. All of the times young people cringe at older people "embarrassing themselves". Once you realize the futility of keeping up with societal pressures, cringing at others becomes a hallmark of immaturity.

  85. I used to think that my parents were incredibly boring, and I guess they were and are, but, now that I'm knocking on the door of 40:

  86. Just because you love someone doesn't mean you should be together. I always grew up thinking that it was really dumb for people to brake up if they loved each other, but since my last relationship I've realized that sometimes love is just not enough. Sometimes you have to love yourself just a bit more.

  87. That adults hitting kids isn't normal. I grew up in an extremely abusive home, and was actively taught it was everyone treated their kids like this. I believed it, and never told anyone about what happened at home until I was 19.

  88. Growing up in a Middle Eastern oppressive household, with both parents coming from generations and generations of abuse obviously led to my entire childhood full of physical, mental, verbal and emotional abuse on a daily bases. I had to run away at 19 as well and never looked back. Even though I was born and raised in westernized society (Canada) my parents kept comparing the tradition of abuse as “discipline”. My entire childhood I knew this was wrong but fear of disobeying was engraved in my head. It took so much courage and faith to just disappear without telling anyone, knowing that whatever comes ahead I will have to get through it alone. Now as an adult I realize how much trauma that shit leaves you with. It’s not easy but I’ve learnt that it’s important to be kind and understanding with yourself in order to heal from those traumas.

  89. You don't feel like an adult so much as someone winging their way through adulthood. And then you realize that everyone else is winging it too.

  90. Love, when you’re young you have this delusional view of what love should be, especially because the sample size of it had been given unconditionally up until your first heart break.

  91. A number of negative behaviors I associated with age made more sense to me as I realized how much more tired I was at 40 than at 20, even from doing exactly the same things. Inflexibility about plans, irritation with noise / distractions, shortness in dealing with frustrations, ossifying political and personal beliefs - they all just feel more tempting when you're exhausted and don't want to sink time and energy into arguments, explanations, or re-planning things. It's not an excuse; I work hard to avoid those things now that I can see that biological forces will keep pushing me toward them. But man, it's a real battle sometimes when you just want a peaceful night without some other damned thing that needs you to work on it.

  92. That episode of phineas and ferb where there was a doofenshmirtz flash back where his girlfriend left him for a boy with bigger fingers

  93. Enjoy the time you have, like seriously enjoy it. Take pictures when you’re in Middle school and Highschool. I maybe have a total of 15 pictures with friends from HS. Why? Bc I felt like it was going to last forever. Did it? Nope. Thankfully because of social media and younger people having phones they’re able to stay in contact. But when I was younger and playing Xbox 360 I had a lot of online friends who said “I’ll be on tomorrow” and were never on. I miss them.

  94. That a lot of married people were never necessarily in love with the other person, but just settled for a stable existence. That a lot of people never find a great love. That a lot of people are afraid of being single and alone, but at the same time, jealous of single people for their freedom.

  95. My friends used to call me a light weight in college. Then the time to pay the tab came. They spent $80 while I spent $15 and I had just as much fun as they did.

  96. I remember thinking how cool my dad's friend Keith was until he showed up at our door one day and got pissed at my dad for no reason. Now he's a couch surfer in his 40s who straight steals his parents pension money to go drink with his 40 year old nobodies, and 20 something probably nobodies.

  97. Life is fair, but not in the way you think. The laws of nature are fair in that they don't care about your intentions or morals or anything like that; they do what they do despite what you think it should do.

  98. The importance of equal maturity in a relationship. So many relationships fail after so long, many after marriage, because one person is much less mature than the other. But until you've experienced it or seen it enough times, it seems like an obstacle you can overcome in time. The fact is, there are many immature adults who will never grow up, but this is hard to see when you're young and believe all adults are grown ups.

  99. No, I will not stay out drinking until 2am on a work night. The thought of getting up at five and rolling into work nursing a hangover the Devil would show sympathy for is not even possible.

  100. I never understood why people with kids would stay together if they weren't totally in love. As an adult, I understand that splitting households is extremely expensive and in a lot of cases would reduce everyone's standard of living. I can understand now why if a couple is OK together that they might postpone splitting until the kids leave the nest.

  101. Don't worry about people hating on whatever thing you "kids these days" are into; when you get older you'll start hating on whatever new thing to the next wave of "kids these days" are into.

  102. Taking family photos, enjoying time with your parents, and being apart of clubs. When i was in high school i was your typical “block out all emotions” type of guy and now I’m looking back seeing i have very few pictures of myself with the family and no good memories from high school.

  103. Family. I think among a lot of younger people (across all generations and all people, not just currently), there’s generally a feeling of “I’d rather go out and have fun!”

  104. Your habits and perspective on money changes as your income changes, sometimes for better and sometimes for worse. Someone living on $1000/month needs different money and lifestyle habits than someone living on $10,000. It's ok to outgrow your previous spending habits as your income changes (assuming you are contributing adequately to your retirement/long term goals)

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