What is one trait that could turns someone from a 10 to a 5?

  1. I also searched and hoped this one would be listed. I have been married 8 years, and had never told a lie and until about a year ago, and it was the worst thing I could have done to my relationship. Trust is critical in a relationship either in a marriage or in a friendship. I know the wrong I did and I am fixing the damage I did, but it’s heart breaking to know that there are people who are chronic liars and live their entire life as a fictional story. I don’t get how they can do it, because I still feel awful about the lie I told. I think the worst is the liars lie to themselves and then it trickles down to people they know and it’s like a poison.

  2. My mother is a conversational narcissist. Every single conversation is about her, what she's doing, what she thinks, what she wants to do, what she wants me to do, for her. And if you bring up something about yourself she has no input and turns it back to herself and her experiences or one ups you. No one talks to her, she gets into arguments with people because she she says whatever she wants and doesn't think how it might be offensive or just a annoying to the other person. Constantly injects herself into things, wants to tell you something and you signify you're not interested, doesn't process, keeps pushing til you flip out.

  3. This one always sucks to read as someone with ADHD. I tend to think no one cares about what I'm saying if the only responses I get are short or bog standard responses like "wow" and "that's wild."

  4. Also the flip side of this: thinks their feelings always matter all the time, regardless of how unreasonable they're being, and in spite of your own feelings.

  5. A friend invited me to lunch once and I noticed she was asking me a bunch of personal questions about my life - am I happy in my job & relationships, is there anything I want to change, do I create goals etc.

  6. That scene in the office where Michael is unknowingly pitching the pyramid scheme and Jim just gets up draws a pyramid around it then it pans to Michael's worried face. Comedy gold.

  7. I was interested in a guy. Asked what he did for work. "Well, I'm trying to start my own business." "Oh, really, what do you do?" "Have you ever heard of Amway?"

  8. Not respecting boundaries/aggressively trying to change your mind when you say no or say that something makes you uncomfortable.

  9. I recently visited some family i hadn't seen since i was a teenager, and the amount of peer pressure i experienced made me super uncomfortable. Like keep smoking, you havent smoked with your aunt ever, keep smoking and drink more, and they kept pouring more alcohol in my cup. Never have i ever experienced peer pressure like that as a kid

  10. This. One time a guy whom I had a few classes with asked me out. I accepted, but let him know that I'm asexual and was not/will never be interested in anything sexual if a relationship develops. He told me that he was alright with that and also on the ace spectrum. Everything was fine until about three months after we started dating. We were sitting on a couch watching TV when he started pressuring me to do it with him. I told him no and reminded him that I had warned him about this prior to when we started dating, but he completely denied it saying I was misremembering and told me it was wrong to lead him on. I said if he was no longer interested in the relationship, we could break up. He started crying and telling me he loved me and he would never break up over sex because there was more that he valued in a relationship. We stayed together. The next month, the same thing happened and he denied knowing that I was asexual a second time. At this point, I felt I was being manipulated so I broke off the relationship. He proceeded to block me everywhere.

  11. Ugh - this. My father in law was like that. Rule 1 I’m right; rule 2 - if I’m wrong, rule 1 applies. My brother-in-law kept saying I had to find a way to get on with him. I did - divorced his son!

  12. On the second date with my now-husband, we went for a short hike. He picked up every piece of trash he saw and pocketed it until he found a trash can. Didn't say anything about it, didn't usually even break conversation for it. Just casually went about reverse littering. It spoke volumes to me about his character, and now we've been married 13 years.

  13. I had a platonic friend who would tell me that since she had a degree and was working in her degree field, and I was just a lowly barista, that her time was literally more valuable than mine. She would try to dictate our hangouts based off of her "precious time" and would completely disregard my thoughts or feelings, because as I said, her time was more valuable than mine. She would say this with a straight face and completely believed it. Needless to say, for this and other reasons, we're no longer friends.

  14. I realised one day that I was talking shit about people with a girlfriend cause it was the only way we bonded. We broke up and I’m sure she talks shit about me with everyone.

  15. Yes! Especially if it is about their exes. All of your exes were complete assholes who treated you awfully while you were being the perfect partner were they? All of them? And you have to bring it up in every conversation to demonstrate what a good guy victim you are? I’ll just back the fuck away before you realize I’m not perfect either.

  16. I'm reading a book now which talks about how playing the victim is a form of control, not just for themselves in dealing with past trauma but also in how they relate to others. It demands people around then change themselves to meet the demands of the victim. One aspect of this is that they feel they don't deserve compassion or love by default, so by playing the victim, they believe they "earn" the right to receive unconditional compassion from others. It really opened my mind into understanding how these people think.

  17. I knew a guy who upon meeting someone new would introduce himself with his job title, even when meeting someone in a casual setting where his job title had absolutely no bearing on who this person was.

  18. I know a guy who does this with his car. He posts photos of his car in different weather. He posts memes about what a tough guy he is because of his car. He also created a separate Instagram for his car but crossposts to his personal account anyway. He’s the kind of dude who will leave an event early because he has to go check on his car. It’s basically a pathological condition at this point, I swear.

  19. My sister and I always joke about people whose personality is just that they love Disney. As in, the people who go to Disneyland every other week and have full collections of the “Mickey mouse ears” and the only films they watch are from Disney. Absolutely grating.

  20. That’s also a trait of Austistic people, such as myself, but I understand some people are just super weird, just know who you’re talking to

  21. That's essentially me right now. I recently finished the Wheel of Time series and it's essentially become my entire personality now. It's all I talk about about with people. How do I stop

  22. I was like this, and I realised I ain't the only person in her life, she has things to do, places to go, other people to take care of. Unfortunately, I realised too late...

  23. For sure. As a bonus, those kinds of people will suck the life out of you if you keep trying to please them.

  24. Thought this was my dad turned out he has autism. Threw my mom through the ringer when we found out, poor woman has dedicated her life to trying make everything perfect for him but he can only point out when things aren't right rather than when they're okay. Takes a huge mental toll out on everyone in the house.

  25. I feel like there’s more than meets the eye here. I was the kind of person who would give 100% in a relationship and it went unnoticed. Why? Because I gave that from the very beginning and I can’t really blame the other person for thinking that was just who I was. This was toxic on my side.

  26. I invited a friend that I knew for few years to a party at my house. I always know he’s kinda awkward but I never have a problem with that. Until he started talking shit about other friends of mine (hippies), saying they were weird as fuck. Without even trying to get to know them.

  27. One time I drove my coworker home. She sneezed into her hands with her fingers spread apart. I felt the sneeze hit me. She was a 60 year old woman. I never wanted to scream at someone so badly (just…. How do you live that far into your life and still think sneezing into your hands is ok? Why keep the fingers open? It does nothing!!!!!!!!)

  28. Or weird sense of humor. Like never laughs when other people do but laughs at a video of a cat getting run over or something really fucked. That's worse.

  29. Someone who has no regard for others safety and feelings. When they are disrespectful and try to put themselves above everyone else.

  30. Same. My ex of 6 years cheated on my with 3 guys during our last 3 months (unknown to me). I left her when I found out.

  31. Saw this happen once when I was a barman. Bar was closing everyone was leaving except for one guy just waiting by the bar looking worried. Asked him if he was ok. He replied his girlfriend was in the toilet. The bar were I worked had a single female toilet upstairs so I chap on the door to make sure his missus was ok? I hear rumbling around and then her and this other guys come out. He’s adjusting his trousers she’s wiping her mouth and the boyfriend sees it all. Never felt so bad for a guy.

  32. Lack of sympathy. When I see someone brush off another person's pain, or just being plain hostile towards someone who obviously needs help (especially when they make some stupid remark) it is an instant "I hate you" realization I have. It's sad, sometimes it just ruins getting to know the person.

  33. I live in a mega turbo shithole country with all-around horrendous people and I've had the empathy bled right out of me and I genuinely don't like where I'm headed at all lol.

  34. You would hate my mother. My paternal grandfather died last week and she tried to organize the entire funeral even though she was merely a bystander. You can imagine how that went.

  35. Oh that reminds me of my ex. Once I jokingly said "oh what you would do without me". His response was "the same things, just with a different girl". Oof.

  36. On one of my first dates with my now husband, back in 2001, he said “could you please chew with your mouth closed?”

  37. I don't know why but feet on the dash irks me so bad even seeing it in other cars driving by....it is gross it's like bate feet on a plane armrest.

  38. I drove away while my ex's best friend was smoking. He started smoking while i was driving and i started screaming, but i immediately stopped the car. As soon as he got out i locked the car and left. My ex stared at me for a solid 15 minutes before daring to say something. He knew that a wrong word would have meant the same treatment.

  39. Ridiculous religious beliefs. Not like believing prayer works or going to church on Sunday, but something outrageous. Like believing QR codes are Satanic images and that every time someone uses one, The Devil takes a piece of their soul.

  40. Not quite the same thing, but I wasn't up for a second date with a very attractive woman because she believed in channeling, i.e. people being able to access their ancestors' minds and those ancestors talking through them (I guess, I know nothing about the subject).

  41. Ruining the enjoyment of someone to make yourself feel superior. This definitely feels like the ONLY reason for someone to do this.

  42. As someone who works in IT, the number of gatekeepers you encounter in this field is astounding. I fire gatekeepers.

  43. Yes yes yes. I went on a third date with a dude who I thought was the absolute bees knees. We had dinner and saw a film which I ended up enjoying but he didn’t. Afterwards, he was explaining why he didn’t like it but I didn’t really understand the point he was making, so I asked a couple of questions for clarification and suddenly he threw his hands in the air and yelled “OH MY GOD DON’T FUCKING WORRY ABOUT IT”. It scared the hell out of me. He was a very big person (6”8 or so) and we were on a poorly lit side street. I blocked his number and profiles on everything as soon as I got back to my car.

  44. This shit drives me up the wall. When someone keeps re-iterating the same thing after you've acknowledged, responded, resolved, and moved the fuck on with your day. My father-in-law does it; thankfully my wife usually catches herself.

  45. Basing their entire personality on something. Like basing their personality on the fact that they have a tesla, on the fact that they are tall, on their favourite show and so on.

  46. Someone who thinks harassing other people is funny or someone who is a huge dick to retail and fast food workers. Takes you below a 0 in my opinion

  47. I’ve been seeing on here how girls go to some dudes house and their toilet bowl has shit stains. I think that would do it for me

  48. Yeah when I was single if I was talking to a guy and went to their house, if they didn't have a clean bathroom it was pretty much over. I can understand being a little messy and not cleaning up for yourself - but if you're not going to clean your apartment up for a guest coming over who's a girl that might fuck you then that's a real problem. That just tells me that you don't give a shit about anything or anyone.

  49. For me, it's being mean to animals and small children for just being animals or small children. Like, they're just doing their thing. It's not their fault they don't know how to do stuff and need help. Don't treat them shitty because of it.

  50. When you have just met, and they start pointing out your flaws/negatives according to them. They don't like the hair, or the dress/make-up or make fun of what we do.

  51. I agree with everyone. Except with those who say that getting stuck in a conversation. I mean, as an introvert happens a lot with me. I am not a boring person (well yes but not too much). And I am not used to talk many time with people so eventually I get out of ideas. So be comprehensive if someone gets out of ideas but stull want to talk, if they are out of ideas and they dont want to talk to anymore. Well it is valid to leave.

  52. I refused a second date with a good-looking, “typically successful” guy because he would put little pieces of paper on the edge of our table and then time the waiters to see how long it took for them to come by and sweep them up. I don’t care how high you’re currently climbing on Wall Street. You’re an asshole and life is too short to date Manhattan assholes. I wanted to bail at the end of that date, but it just kept going and going because he wanted to take me to meet his pot dealer. Honestly, it was one of the worst and weirdest nights of my life. I just needed to get to a subway station I could recognize so I could get the hell out of there. Man, I don’t miss that phase of my life anymore!

  53. Friendship wise, If you dislike pets or kids to an extreme degree. I can understand maybe not wanting them (I would like to have kids but not pets) but if you’re constantly complaining about them and/or throwing insults at them, It’s really weird.

  54. I'm childfree by choice and one of my friends was very surprised at how well I got along with her two young kids. They're a handful, but hilarious.

  55. It took me forever to quit, and I know how hard it is, but I made the effort and I did it. It's just not attractive anymore when others did it because I know how much better it is after.

  56. im so happy i could quit after a couple of unsuccessful tries, i learned from my mistakes and i think this is the one

  57. Being an asshole about other people. Also casual homophobia; I'm bisexual but most people think I'm straight. You wouldnt believe the shit they say around me

  58. Yes. This. I'm bi, and I'm another person in a straight-passing marriage. I look like a 1950s housewife; stay at home mum, husband the breadwinner, beloved child, nice-ish house, ok car etc... By certain markers people used to often pick me out as "one of them", be it religiously, politically, socially etc. They were rarely correct in their assumptions.

  59. And casual racism. I'm pasty af with a very non white last name (thanks dad) and you wouldn't believe some of the shit people have said to me. Dude, my grandfather was an immigrant, I'm not the one to say that shit to

  60. Is this only in the situation where the mother washes it? I ask only because in my college days I would take my laundry to my parents house and use their machines. Time with family was better than going to the laundromat, plus I still did all the work.

  61. I want out on a date with a girl a few times. Pn our last date she found out I didn't own any Apple Products, no watch, phone computer, not even a sticker.

  62. A 'world citizen' - someone who is constantly one upping stories you tell just to make them seem better than you. Never really listens to the story you have to tell, only waiting for you to finish to one-up you. "Oh yeah? Well I...." is a common phrase they use.

  63. Using smokeless tobacco like skoal or grizzly. Seriously it’s the grossest. Nobody wants to kiss that mouth.

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