Teachers of Reddit, what was the worst thing you had to confiscate from a student?

  1. A gorilla mask...yes...dude put it on while my back was turned and facing the board. I laughed like hell then took it for the day until his parents collected it.

  2. One year for homecoming I dressed in ALL black from head to toe complete with a Halloween executioner hood that blacked out my face. I was told very firmly that it would have to stay off during class or it would be taken away.

  3. I love this. My kids had a cantaloupe that they named Jeffrey and brought camping with us. I’m so glad it was just the one snd not a whole cantaloupe family.

  4. I love stories like those first two where the kid just doesn't have the life experience needed to understand how obvious the lie is or how quickly we can figure out if it is a lie. Like a toddler swearing he didn't steal any chocolate while it's smeared all over his face.

  5. I got in trouble for looking up how to make napalm in HS freshman year. I actually got caught because a friend told me about the anarchist cook website. I went on it and checked the ingredients because ours wasn't potent enough/ anti climatic. Got caught by a substitute and was sent to the office where IT scoured who else went on that website. I didn't know what anarchist meant at the time... lol.

  6. Not necessarily the craziest thing to confiscate, but the effect that confiscating the item had on the student was pretty upsetting.

  7. I work in the school system as well and we have a class just like you described. My office (IT) is next to it and I have had to help on occasion. One thing that gets me about these kids is not that they struggle with these behavior issues, it's that they have shit parents that don't care or listen to the teacher about what can be done better.

  8. My mum has been a primary teacher for her whole life now (in the UK), and the worst incident she had to deal with was with a girl aged 10 who was having issues with a boy essentially bullying her. She told her dad, and her dads solution was to give her a sawn-off shotgun to intimidate the boy. No one knew it was unloaded, but the hell it raised when a 10 year old school girl brings out a shotgun certainly put the boy off from ever coming near her again

  9. I'm sorry, but the image of a little 10 year old holding what is probably a 12-gauge sawed off shotgun is hilarious to me. Probably was a quarter the size of her and would send her half a kilometer in the other direction if she tried to use it.

  10. A crossbow, property of a 17 year old student at the boarding school where I used to work. The same boy was also fond of bringing pheasants to school that he'd killed on his father's estate and plucking them in the shower block...

  11. Not a teacher, but I’m half deaf and my music teacher took my hearing aid and refused to accept that it wasn’t an earbud. Then he yelled at me for the rest of the class for not playing in tune (couldn’t exactly tell how well I was playing since I could hear it)

  12. My friend is diabetic and has an insulin pump. They had multiple teachers over the years think it's an MP3 player and try to confiscate it before realizing it's attached to their body and they literally can't hand it over.

  13. I had musician's earplugs through middle and high school because one of my big triggers is lots of noise. Can't tell you how many pairs I had confiscated despite them being in my IEP.

  14. A huge black dildo. A child found it in the school’s garden and said “I found a ding dong in the garden and I’m taking it home for Mum”. That day, I was not professional.

  15. I confiscated a dildo from my 14 yo class. They'd lifted it from a sex ed class and thought it would be fun to stick it on the white board of their young female art teacher. She shrieked and I just wandered in and said "wow, a dildo, that's unusual" and took it away. They were most unimpressed by my complete lack of reaction. Which of course is the way to play it.

  16. My wife is a teacher and one of her first graders brought her 2 hard seltzers because her mom said they’re good after a long day and she deserved them

  17. My friend taught at a prestigious all-boy high school. She was grocery shopping and buying a couple cases of wine to restock her wine rack. Of course, she runs into a student and his mother.

  18. This happened to me in a corporate meeting with a director. My Apple Watch betrayed me and said “sorry sugar tits, I didn’t get that”

  19. In high school mine went off during AP Chemistry and it said “sorry I couldn’t quite hear that, Panty Dropper.” I just smashed me head to the table and kept it there for a solid 15 min.

  20. Preschool teacher here. I had to convince a 4 year old that his mom's wedding ring should go into a special box on the front desk instead of on the finger of a six year old girl he had a crush on.

  21. I think i have heard things like this before, the kid actually gave the ring to the girl, who kept it and when the boys mother found out, she asked the other parents to return it and they refused, saying it was a gift.

  22. Know a teacher, she and her 1st or 2nd grade class (can't remember which) were on lunch. Lunch lady walks up and tells her one of her students just tried to buy an extra something with over $1000 in cash she had stuffed in a tiny coin pouch that looked like a plushy pink duck.

  23. I had to confiscate hand sanitizer from a student who decided to drink it to get drunk and threw up EVERYWHERE.

  24. A few years ago, this kid straight up chugged an entire hand sanitizer bottle. He then became famous in the school because of it, but we never heard what happened to his body after that

  25. I once did that too! My primary school "girlfriend" got kissed by a dude from her class and I was super mad, because he was stronger than me and I couldn't just get back back at him with the same thing.

  26. Bro I did something similar but way less dangerous in elementary school. I’ve always had a talent for art so I would draw Pokémon on a paper and folder it into a square and draw a pokeball on the cover. That meant you caught a Pokémon, and once the kids outside my circle of friends saw it everyone wanted one.

  27. My mom always told the story about my brother bringing a signed picture of Richard Petty to his class and telling everyone he was his Dad (1-2nd grade maybe) but that everyone forgot because the next kid pulled out an antique gun

  28. Slightly tangent but I met Richard, Kyle, and Adam Petty when I was in the hospital a lot as a kid. They came to visit the whole children's hospital several times and slowly realized they kept seeing a few of us there all the time. Adam and I kinda became friends (he was only a few years older than me) and we became pen pals for several years, until his death.

  29. Not mine, but my fiancé’s coworker confiscated a makeshift shank from a 3rd grader (roughly 8 years old) made from a popsicle stick and a straw. He said he was “going to use it on his animals at home” best part was when they told the dad he said “why did you give him supplies to make a shank?”. I assume he’s gonna kill a few people in the future.

  30. I made shanks out of every popsicle stick I ever got. I came from a very mild mannered household, but I think I watched Conan one too many times or something. I was a weird little girl.

  31. I taught 1st grade and confiscated a piece of a broken beer bottle from a 6 yr old. It really surprised me, because he was the sweetest kid. Turns out another classmate asked him to bring a weapon and hide it in the playground sand, so that he could get back at another kid. I tried to do more life lesson things than suspension for both boys, bc they’re freakin 6, but school policy had them both suspended for a few days.

  32. In third grade, I once had my entire deck of only-holographic yugioh cards confiscated from me for playing with them during break time too much with friends. I was told I'd be able to get them back when I graduated school (6th grade). I said okay, not totally understanding what was going on. I forgot about them completely (though I still kept a vested interest in the TCG for a few more years, like into 5th grade) until 9th grade. I went back and asked my old 3rd grade teacher to return my property. Within seconds, she pulls them out of her desk drawer and hands me them. It was an odd experience.

  33. You were playing during a break? And she planned to keep them for THREE years? I'm curious to see her reasoning for both of those things..

  34. One of my neighbours is well into his 80s and remembers a plane crash on the hills above us. It was an ASW patrol and it got lost in fog, so with the fuel gauges knocking on empty the crew bailed out. The plane flew on for quite a while and eventually crashed into the hills above us, late afternoon. All the kids from the village school headed up there for souvenirs and looted the thing.

  35. Confiscated 3 knives from one kid but the weirdest thing was a porn video from a 9 year old girl. She brought it to school to show off to the boys. Took it from her grandfathers stash. ‘Big Tit Fantasies and Anal Desires’…had to read it to the short sighted 60 year old vice principal, I was 21 (M) at the time.

  36. This reminds me of a time my friend got arrested for being a dumbfuck student, drunk and stealing road signs. When they booked him in, he had to empty his pockets and they proceeded to log the contents.

  37. Once a child was sneaking food... I usually say bin it or put it in your bag. This child was eating a tomato? The shocking bit was that tomatoes were around $20kg at the time, and I couldn't afford any. So I just very sadly watched him finish it.

  38. So far, a "death letter" that a severely anti-social asocial student wrote after a minor incident with a peer. The letter told the student to kill themselves, to die already, etc. and depicted bloody, slashed wrists.

  39. This sounds like a severely depressed child with no way to cope who needs serious help. I would bet this isn’t an isolated incident and that a lot of things are being overlooked. I hope they get help before something happens. :(

  40. My son made one of these from a capacitor. I think there is a YT video on it. His got taken off him by a teacher at……hold on, hold on!

  41. So right out of uni (about 25 ish) I took a job teaching at a school in the capital of our country. Lots of poverty and the level of education was low in these teenagers.

  42. I confiscated a knife off a grade 10 kid (I think? It was a while ago now) but he was just being an idiot with it. I was doing my teaching prac at an all boys catholic school.

  43. The weirdest one was definitely the fish in a vase they found during locker checks. It was in an unassigned locker someone had added a lock to. Inside was a live Betta fish in about as large a vase as you can fit in a locker. Fully decorated. Someone had clipped a little book light to the top of the vase presumably so fish wasn't in the dark all the time. No one claimed to know whose if was or how long it had been there so it lived in the coaches office for at least that year.

  44. My stepdad has been an administrator at a middle school for years. Once he had a pretty notorious student come into the office looking for a scooter that had been abandoned/confiscated. He saw it, swore to high heaven it was his, nobody believed him on reputation. They pulled out the little removable handle bars and found a bag of weed stashed inside.

  45. Not a teacher but when I was in 2nd grade a kid brought his moms vibrator to class cause he thought it was a toy submarine.

  46. Not a teacher, but a bus driver. I had to confiscate a 5th grader's cell phone a few days ago, specifically because he was showing hardcore porn to first graders with it... Lots of phone calls that day...

  47. My school banned 1st grade - 5th grade from having phones because the 4th/5th graders would constantly show hardcore porn to the younger kids... I'm starting to see a pattern here

  48. This reminds me of a story from when I was in elementary (but wayyyyy more innocent). We were in fourth grade and working with first graders on a lil project of putting together a fun presentation to make to our combined classes (basically an exercise to teach us about how to search for stuff to include).

  49. I need to know, did they say why they had a wifi jammer and a ISB killer? I figure they were playing a pretty shitty prank or they were trying to take down some school systems.

  50. Ahhh reminds me of IT school. back when I was in a school for IT that prepares you for Uni kinda we had a class trip for about 3 days to a like youth hostel kinda thing up near the woods.

  51. My beyond innocent sister was sent to the principle's office for bringing a dildo to school and making an obscene joke/gesture with it to her teacher.

  52. I understand kinda why the teacher was confused, the "protein shot" Comment made it worse, depending on how you look at it loool. 😂

  53. Again, the other way round, when I was about 10 I wrote a report on beer. I had written to lots of breweries to ask for beer labels and basically described each brewery a little bit. One of the breweries' beers was "Verboden Vrucht", named after The Forbidden Fruit. It had a picture of Adam and Eve on it... Well Eve was quite interesting to all the boys as you can imagine. Had that label confiscated...

  54. I'm a teacher, had a junior high school boy offer me one of those. His friends were egging him on, so I knew something was up. I grabbed the pen and pushed on the button and kept a straight face while I got shocked. Handed the pen back to the kid, don't remember what I said when I did, but something about it being a nice pen. The group proceeded to all shock themselves to make sure it was still working. It was.

  55. obligatory not a teacher: I work with kids who have special needs. One of my kids brought in a ball gag and several of the largest butt plugs I have ever seen

  56. Not a teacher but my 7th grade homeroom teacher confiscated my private journal AND read it. There's nothing more disappointing than losing respect for elders as a child.

  57. My sixth grade teacher forced us to journal and assured us that she would never read it. I was mad at her one day and blew off steam in the journal, and got called in during recess because she read it and was crying. Not my proudest moment, but I was furious that she didn’t keep her promise.

  58. My adopted dad did that to me in 8th grade. He berated me for what I had written. Alot of what I wrote was my wishing I could see a counselor and how depressed I was without any friends. I'll never forgive him.

  59. This happened in 8th grade for me. Except, it wasn't confiscated...I left it in one of the classrooms and the teacher read it. I was so angry.

  60. In elementary school, I used to say a bunch of really negative, hurtful things. Part of my therapy was that I'd write those things in a journal instead. Which the teacher read, openly and in front of me. I didn't really understand what a breach of trust was at the time and I was way too young to stand up for myself, but I sort of realized this wasn't something she should be doing.

  61. Not a teacher but in 7th grade I got caught with a knife. Didn’t realize that I had it until I was on the bus. I’d worn this pair of jeans to walk to my buddy’s house up the road on Sunday and had my little pocketknife in my pocket. I have an uncle who has always been a whittler/carver and makes really impressive stuff. I’d gotten a small knife and was trying to learn also. Anyway, Monday morning I got up and just threw those same jeans on and hurried to the bus stop. Realized my pocket knife was still in my pocket about halfway to school.

  62. I went camping, and used my backpack as a day pack in 6th grade. I forgot to clean out one of the pockets before school on Monday. It has my pocket knife.

  63. A styrofoam head that some boys had drawn a smile on and scooped out some eye holes. It had a name and they took it to every class. It got old and shabby and so did the joke so I put it out of its misery.

  64. I work(ed) as a middle school language teacher. Every kid in class is assigned a Chromebook and we are encouraged to have the kids work on them. I let them sit together to encourage them to help each other out while they do some work on their devices. I see two kids at the back of the class, giggling and just watching the screen. No reading or writing happening. I get up slowly, watch them panic and start frantically clicking the mouse so as to close up the windows that weren’t supposed to be open. I get to them and ask them what’s funny. One of the kids says something about emails as I take the Chromebook from his desk. The only open tab is in fact the email. I sit down at a free desk close to his and use a trick I had just learned which was to reopen tabs that had been recently closed. One, twice, third time’s the charm: full-on P in V pornographic video on screen. They found a way to bypass the school board’s security and were watching porn IN CLASS. So I guess the confiscation of a Chromebook isn’t exactly “the worst” as opposed to what was on the Chromebook.

  65. Not sure if malicous.com still works (sketch site, don’t go there on your home computer) but that was the shit back in the day lmao, one time someone tried to snitch but the teacher spelt “malicious” not “malicous”

  66. My dad told me be once had to restrain a student and confiscate a pencil sharpener (one of the cheep plastic ones) which he had done a decent job of sharpening his pinky with.

  67. Ya know, as a kid I always wondered if the pencil sharpener could do that, but I wasn’t stupid enough to try. Now about 15 years later, my question has been answered

  68. Once in my school someone crushed one of those in a vice in woodworking class so it was just the blade, then used it to slash the face of another kid who he had an argument with. I hated school

  69. Never confiscated anything but when I worked as a kindergarten teacher in China, I'd see kids (4, 5 & 6 years old) come in with the wildest shirts and hats. Those ones you see that say things like, "I smoke crack and fck btches", "I'm not gay but $20 is $20." etc

  70. Yea I saw a post about asian countrys having super inappropriate english clothing trending, good to know they werent messing around

  71. I saw a lot of this in China too. The only one I can remember though is a teenage girl wearing a shirt that said “my dick would like to buy you a drink”

  72. Not a teacher but as a student I had my antidepressants and adhd meds confiscated cause they were doing bag checks. I never got them back and this my parents had to get me a refill…confiscated AGAIN until my parents told the principal.

  73. Jesus Christ. Those are controlled substances and likely not easy to get refilled. Although most schools want them kept at the office so if that’s why the took them I get it. But still crappy if you were of an age to take them yourself.

  74. That's so fucked up. I remember at my high school if you had to take medication in the middle of the day your parents would have to give it to the nurse and fill out all these forms, then you'd have to go there every day to take your pills

  75. Not a teacher: My friend teaches in middle school though and she once said that a student bought in his dads fleshlight, I guess his friends stole it after he showed it to them which is gross, anyway he needed help getting it back or some such nonsense.

  76. My mom has had stories about what's she's confiscated from lower elementary aged students (K-3). The usual prank items like woopie cushions, sure. But one time a student was playing with this weird box. The box was locked. So she couldn't put it in the confiscated bin. She put it on top of a cabinet. About an hour later, it starts ringing. Furiously. It took some doing to get the box open.

  77. Not me, but a colleague had a kid in his class who would regularly drink alcohol in class (his parents would buy it for him), and while he was confiscating a bottle from his school bag, he found a set of homemade obscene comics the kid had drawn. They were equal measures of horrifying, and hilarious. Surreal sexual stuff including teachers, classmates, and random other people he knew. I just remember one of flying jumbo jet phalluses making emergency landings in in various people.

  78. After school care here, had a little boy try to give what I’d clock as a 700-20000 dollar diamond ring. To a girl he had a crush on. I’m no jeweler but the rocks in the ring are massive and very real looking, and the mom sobbed when she got it back!

  79. I know someone who’s grandson, in kindergarten or first grade, took his mom’s engagement ring and gave it to a little girl in his class. Luckily the teacher saw it and called his parents.

  80. In high school before the internet i had a locker full of porn mags that I would rent out to kids for $1 a night. I didn't know they cut locks off lockers and emptied them over the holidays.

  81. Just curious, may I ask why this was confiscated? Seems pretty harmless to me? My bet would be she was distracted from her work or something but my mind wonders if there's funny story behind this like there was suspicion of her writing spells or something

  82. A phone full of videos of people eating live animals (puppies, kittens, etc). Massive safeguarding case, he got the help he needed :)

  83. Somehow it didn’t even occur to me that this was a type of video that actually might exist or that people would actually do this in real life. God :(

  84. I've seen some shit on the internet, but I wouldn't know where to begin to look for videos of people eating live animals.

  85. Not the worst but definitely my favorite. I taught 4th graders and saw a couple of them passing around a sheet of paper to each other instead of doing what they were supposed to be doing. I took the note from them and one of the kids' faces looked as if her life was over and she started crying and begged me not to look at it. I unfolded it to see what they were writing about. The note was filled with drawings of cartoon butts and they told me they wanted to have a contest to see who was the best at drawing butts.

  86. Oh, geez. I used to teach at a boarding school whose clientele was mostly second-chance kids, kids coming from rehab, and other misfits and rejects (and I say that last part with endearment).

  87. An oxford dictionary. They confiscated my dictionary in 4th grade because I was getting bullied and decided I had enough and smacked a kid’s tooth off with it.

  88. My school has halo, doom and COD zombies in the school wide drive. The art department also uploads a bunch of illegally downloaded movies. It’s kinda funny tbh.

  89. Bullets buried in melted chocolate in a 4th grader's duffel bag. What made it annoying was that we needed to get his textbook and notebooks out before they were ruined, but this student also had a problem with incontinence, so I wasn't sure what I was dealing with at first.

  90. My wife has had a few knives she has found(kids act very suspicious and keep checking they are where they hid them).

  91. When I was in second grade this girl had a crush on me. So she passed me a note. Don't remember what it said but the teacher confiscated it and read it out loud to the whole class. I don't remember what it said but I remember the exchange like it was yesterday.

  92. A teacher once confiscated a brick from me when I was 5 or 6. At that time me and a friend of mine would collect stones and see them as power. So when I saw a big ass brick I thought now way my friend can bring more power than that. Yeah I was stupid

  93. My mom told me that a kid in elementary school came to the school with a bag so the teacher tock a look and there was a fucking baby in it. The girl wanted to show her friends her little brother. The baby vomited all over himself and the parents didn’t even notice that their 1 week child was missing.

  94. So I teach highschool. I have had to confiscate MASKS because kids found a way to saw chunks out of the desks and chairs. I had to find an alternative very quickly but now I, and many other teachers, have chairs and desks with large chunks missing.

  95. I did have a child walking around brandishing something in their pocket and saying it was metal and it was going to cut other children. He threatened a few before I managed to get it off him….it was a plastic lightsaber that came free in cereal.

  96. My teacher took my gold nasa pen I got for my birthday because "it wasn't fair to the other students", I never got it back

  97. Once our philosophy teacher got mad and confiscated our recently captured grasshopper because we named him "Aristotle"

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