Your users are doing better than mine. Them: "I got an error. What do I need to do?" Me: "What was the error message?" Them: "I don't know, I didn't read it."
One of my first jobs was in a call center for IT support. We were basically just given books of scripts to read from when someone would call with a problem. The first question in each book was "is the computer plugged in and turned on?" That usually solved the majority of "my computer's not working" questions
This right away made me think of that Georgia congressman about 10 years ago in a congressional hearing who worried that developing military bases on one side of Guam would cause the island to tip over and capsize.
When I was about 10, I decided to try out my cousins skateboard. I immediately fell off and sprained my wrist. Even I knew I had to get the thing going first, it just never occurred to me that the board leans. You know, so you can steer...
I used to work at call centers, and I totally got calls like this. Once had to explain to an elderly man that a Desktop was not in fact, his computer desk that he was sitting at, but the actual screen of his computer.
Once my mom had to have part of a lung removed due to cancer. Afterwards, the doctor showed us the imaging that showed the remaining cancer spread through the rest of her lungs, which we already knew about. My dad asked him why they didn't remove all of her lungs.
In retail "Where is the paint in this stupid store? I was sent down here and they lied! " "Right behind you (literally dozens of paint cans 8 feet behind her) " "No they're not!" I walk past her and put my hand on the can, took her a good 10 seconds of ranting to accept the paint was infact there.
( work with animals professionally) A woman was taking her dog to see the vet because when they drank water the fur around their face became darker and they were *very* worried about it.
I saw a story once about a woman bringing her dog in to get the "bugs" off his stomach. It was his nipples. She said they couldn't be, because he's male. She had been trying to pull them off. Poor dogs.
I dated a twin in college. Id often get asked how i could tell them apart and if I’d ever accidentally tried anything with the other one. Well Susan was a girly girl and loved Ghibli to the point that she had a full sleeve tattoo on her right arm. Derek has a cock.
Working on a tourist sightseeing boat on the ocean in Alaska. Person asks me what elevation we are at. I look down at the ocean and back to them and say, about 10 feet.
Was sitting on a beach in our city limits with a guy once, talking about some cities having high elevation and harder to breathe air, and he said damn, this city must be at a pretty high elevation (to be fair, the wider region is also known for mountains)
Had an adult family pay to go fishing, daughter caught a fish, I bonked it. She got upset, I tried to ease her into the realities of harvesting food. She said it was inhumane and people should go to the store for meat, she gave me stink eye for the rest of the day and wouldn't touch the damn fish that she herself killed.
I worked at an ice cream store and someone came in, looked at the ice cream cone I was handing to someone then looked at me and asked "what kind of soups do you have"
First I can’t find clothes at the soup store and now I can’t find soup at the ice shop! Damn it I need some ice cream to calm down, I better head over to the phone store
I had the neighbors by for a quick chat a few years ago, and we happened to be standing by our goat pen, we had three at the time. For whatever reason, people don't really see goats as pets, and I'm often asked about their purpose, are they meat, etc.
Was in a maternity class with my wife. One of the husbands was an endless source of amazing comments. My favorite was while on the topic of breastfeeding. “So do you just poke holes in them or what?” There was a very long, very shocked pause from the instructor before she explained it to him.
This isn't actually the worst question. A popular reform to a 13- month calendar, each month having 28 days, had a provision that New Year's Eve was a special day that would not be part of any week.
I'm half Inuit. In 6th grade I did a social studies project on Inuit people/lifestyles. During my presentation, I brought up the fact that I'm half Inuit and pointed out different things my grandmother was teaching me. A boy in the class the goes "how can you be an indian?? I thought they were like.. extinct"
Way back in community college I was in an English class of some sort, I forget which. The teacher had people write ideas for what people would like to write essays about on the board and then we got into groups of four and had to pick one topic for our whole group. Somebody had written something along the lines of “should NASA get a larger budget” which I really took a liking to and vocalized this to my group. One girl said she thought that was stupid, what had NASA ever done for anyone. I pointed out that many things we take for granted were developed by NASA and this girl deadass says to me “but you know there’s no air up there, right? That’s why we don’t leave.”
While working tech support at a major financial services firm in the early '90s, I received the following email: "I currently use a hard disk and a monitor. I would like to get rid of the monitor and just use the hard disk. Can I do that myself, or do I need you to do it for me?"
Im originally from France and I went to college in the US. I have a thick accent. Someone asked me how I learned French. Told them that I was from France. They asked the question again. Turns out, they thought everyone’s first language was English, and I had to explain them that no one is born speaking a language
About 25 years ago I was explaining time zones to a 20ish year old intern at a large scientific agency. She wasn't getting it, so i got an orange I brought for lunch and used it as the Earth.
Told a girl I was starting college in the fall and she asked if I was going to "Campus". She had heard the word used and thought it was the name of a college.
One time a child asked me how big my dog was. The dog was standing right next to me. I was at an event and we were there with our dogs for the propose of letting people meet them, but I was interacting with thousands of people a day. My brain broke and I just pointed to the dog and answered "this big". The other people in my group still talk about that interaction to this day.
My ex, we were planning a trip to Australia. She asked me if we should get the Rosetta stone program for "Australian" so that we would be able to communicate better there.
We had to do internships back in medical school, we basically could choose anything that had to do with people. Since I had already done an internship at basically all three main options we had, I asked if I'd be allowed to it at a funeral home, which I was.
Reminds me of a scene from Boardwalk Empire where a character gets his gnarly knife confiscated by a rival gangster. "What's this on the hilt?" "It's called a skull crusher. It's for cracking walnuts."
A few years ago some people had to be rescued in my town, because someone told them the river went in a circle and they stayed on that shit for a day and a half
A girl in High School spread a rumor that I had Boob job. Guys kept coming up to me and asking if it was true. I am literally B-Cup (and was even smaller then)
My troglodyte sister called me during a fight with her boyfriend. She wanted me to explain the difference between day-tuh (data) and dat-ah (data). She was very insistent the two had different meanings. Day-tuh was clearly what your phone used and dat-ah was information collected by scientists. It still makes me laugh and I’ll never let her forget it.
LOL, long long time ago in a first aid class, 20 men doing a mock accident simulation after 3 days of training. I was a wounded in the neck injury person for the simulation. Two of my compadres came to me, did the whole first aid routine and in the end put a tight round bandaged around my neck. I had to keep a few fingers in there so I wouldn't choke... The instructor was not impressed.
Less than an hour ago I went through the Taco Bell drive through and handed them my American Express Hilton Honors card to pay. Basically the more I use it the more hotel points I get. The girl literally, sincerely, asked me if I was the owner of Hilton hotels. I was taken aback but said no. She said are you in the family and I said yeah thinking she knew what kind of card it was and might have been a Hilton honors member too. She said REALLY??? And I knew then she thought I meant I am an heir to the Hilton family.
As a teacher, I can confirm. We say "there are no stupid questions" so kids will ask us stupid questions and then we can laugh about them at dinner parties.
Reminds me of this story about a girl who dreaded ''the curse''. She asked her mom about it as grandma had told her for years it was coming.... Mom was quick to explain it was grandma's name for having your period. She was old enough to have periods for a long time at that point.
“Is it true that kids with autism can’t be vaccinated?” The woman who asked me that herself admitted that it was a dumb question and she was a bit embarrassed to ask, but she was terribly mislead by someone and she wanted to make sure. Backstory, if anyone can’t sleep like me and is interested: I was working part time at a medical centre offering genetic consulting and testing for many genetic disorders and diseases and stuff. Among many others, there were some tests for genetic markers that may be connected to autism spectrum. My job was mostly taking calls and answering all sorts of questions, in theory about what kind of tests the firm was offering and that sort of stuff, but sometimes… some people asked some wild questions. Anyways, one day this lady called, said her son had autism, even had some genetic tests run at our facility. Now the kid was scheduled to get some “standard” vaccination soon (measles or chicken pox vaccine, almost every kid in my country is scheduled to get it when we hit a certain age, but it’s not mandatory). It was the middle of pandemic, so she called her primary care clinic to ask some questions about Covid restrictions and all that jazz, and to schedule an appointment. And here comes the infuriating part - the nurse or someone that answered her call told the kid’s mother that CHILDREN WITH AUTISM CAN NOT BE VACCINATED UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES BECAUSE VACCINES CAN MAKE THE KID “WORSE”. The lady did not know what the heck was going on. She was pro-vaccination and all, the kid already had some previous shots for other diseases and there were no side effects, but the clinic worker scared her and messed with her head so she wanted to make sure and didn’t know who to ask, so she called us. The worst thing - I wasn’t authorised to give her any substantial medical advice, but I managed to calm her down a little and to convince her to get a second opinion from a professional doctor. All in all, it was a pleasant talk, but goddamnit, it’s been a year and I’m still mad and the woman from primary care clinic. Thank you for reading my TED talk, have a good night or day or time in general.
Oh I love when I'm asked this one. I had brain surgery. They removed some of my brain that stored memories. The first thing people ask me is "what did you forget?" Like I'd remember what I forgot
It reminds me of my friend talking to my color blind husband. She would ask him "yes, but what to you SEE?" and hed be baffled by it. So I brought up a filter on the computer that lets you see a colored picture next to one that looks like what he sees, so she could see the difference and how he sees what we see. She just got impatient and just kept asking "yeah, ok, but what do you SEE?" Like, honey, I'm showing you exactly what he sees. He doesn't know what he doesn't see...facepalm
While working at McDonald's when I was a 17yo teen, Customer: can I have a cheeseburger with no cheese? Me: so you want a hamburger? Customer: no no a cheeseburger....... with no cheese Me: (internaly thinking, I don't get paid enough to argue with this stupidity) ............. OK, that will be $1.10
"Does ground beef come from the ground?" Molly G in Mr Ballesterros' Freshmen Spanish class circa 2007ish at SHS in Phoenix Az. Nobody forgets anything Molly!
I work for an IV committee at a hospital and some of the drugs we compound cannot be sent via pneumatic tube because the shaking of the tube can affect the integrity of the medication. So, we put this bright stickers on them saying not to tube them. We had a very expensive medication tubed back to us from a part of the hospital, so the medication could not be reused. I wrote up a report on the event and a nurse emailed me and asked, "How do we return it if we cant tube it?"
I believe I may have asked the dumbest question in history. Our neighbor was in our driveway, and this is a guy that never really had anything to do with anyone around the neighborhood. I asked him what's up, and he told me he was looking for his cat. He said the cat was really old and was both blind and deaf and it had some gotten out. I asked what's your cat's name, I'll help you look and call for it. He looked at me with a completely blank stare for like 10/15 seconds, and finally says, I just told you it's deaf. I swear I've never felt so stupid.
We had a holocaust survivor talk to our high school history class. One of my friends asked, "what did you do for fun?" ... the response, "there was no fun, only survival"
It does though. The government denies its intentions of course, but if you sniff the bills whatever chemicals are off gassing from it smell enough like maple that you can think it’s impregnated with a scent.
I work in IT for a power company. When I was on the helpdesk a user called and asked me why she had to charge her laptop? We work for the power company and this person couldn't understand that they need to charge their laptop. I explained to them why they needed to charge their laptop and they got mad at me and hung up.
Obligatory not directed at me, but I have two taken from a list in my notes app that I had when I was in high school. It was solely dedicated to things I heard at school.
I was cashiering at a Scholastic Book Fair. A lady asked me if the money we raised was used for scholarships. I replied "Ma'am, this is a public elementary school."
My IT teacher told us a story one of our first days of someone who asked if the reason their computer wasn’t working right might have had anything to do with the fact their power was out. That was they day I learned what an ID-10t error really was.
Walking home late at night I thought a nice piece of fried chicken from KFC would hit the spot, but I wasn't hungry enough for an entire meal, I only wanted a piece of chicken.
I'm currently working as a parcel delivery driver. Nine out of ten people ask me what I'm delivering. They're being deadly serious serious when they ask "What is it?". I'm a delivery driver going from local depot to door and all I can say to that question is "It's a box". I don't know what they've ordered, and I don't really care.
Whilst being a tourist in the colloseum in Rome, I once heard an adult tourist ask "Is this where Jesus fought the lions?"
That sounds like a bad ass movie
Which is ridiculous because we all know that happened in Jerusalem.
I'm in IT management. Where do I even begin?
"practice your reading comprehension, is there anything else I can help you with?"
Your users are doing better than mine. Them: "I got an error. What do I need to do?" Me: "What was the error message?" Them: "I don't know, I didn't read it."
One of my first jobs was in a call center for IT support. We were basically just given books of scripts to read from when someone would call with a problem. The first question in each book was "is the computer plugged in and turned on?" That usually solved the majority of "my computer's not working" questions
Once when I was in a tech support group I literally had a guy email me and ask for my email address.
Operator, what’s the number for 911?
"Where does wood come from?"
*proceeds to unzip pants*
This is second hand from a diving guide in Bermuda: "how far do you have to dive to get under the island?"
This right away made me think of that Georgia congressman about 10 years ago in a congressional hearing who worried that developing military bases on one side of Guam would cause the island to tip over and capsize.
I've got to say, I thought islands were floating landmasses for an embarrassingly long amount of time.
Someone played a little too much Subnautica.
“Is chicken parmesan vegetarian?”
They lost their vegan powers
this girl took my skateboard, just stood on it and asked me "Why isn't it going?"
Nah it's not Aladdin's magic carpet... it's a skateboard.
When I was about 10, I decided to try out my cousins skateboard. I immediately fell off and sprained my wrist. Even I knew I had to get the thing going first, it just never occurred to me that the board leans. You know, so you can steer...
I kid you not someone said “is a bird a gas?”
They float in the air. Seems legit. Basic science.
I mean, cats are liquid, so it stands to reason...
Why are you spying on me?
Damn. You win
You should have snuck in "hahahahaha wow your face is priceless right now."
I wish I could have seen the look on his face when he realised how dumb he was being. At least he got to see it!
I used to work at call centers, and I totally got calls like this. Once had to explain to an elderly man that a Desktop was not in fact, his computer desk that he was sitting at, but the actual screen of his computer.
Once my mom had to have part of a lung removed due to cancer. Afterwards, the doctor showed us the imaging that showed the remaining cancer spread through the rest of her lungs, which we already knew about. My dad asked him why they didn't remove all of her lungs.
Are we sure your dad didn't go for the badly timed dad joke?
Incredible. How is she now?
Once had an intern ask what a battery was, after someone asked her to pass them two batteries.
My son got all excited at the store the other day...
'Did you visit the Chinatown?' after I told a friend that I had been to China as part of a business trip.
Ya, it was HUGE! Like the whole country!
"Yeah, they just called it town though"
How many third cups are in a cup … She worked in a bakery.
Is the iced latte hot? I thought they were joking and I laughed. They complained about me to my manager 🥲
Please tell me your manager was cool.
In retail "Where is the paint in this stupid store? I was sent down here and they lied! " "Right behind you (literally dozens of paint cans 8 feet behind her) " "No they're not!" I walk past her and put my hand on the can, took her a good 10 seconds of ranting to accept the paint was infact there.
She probably wasn't aware how the color process works, like you pick out a color chip and have it shaken
( work with animals professionally) A woman was taking her dog to see the vet because when they drank water the fur around their face became darker and they were *very* worried about it.
I saw a story once about a woman bringing her dog in to get the "bugs" off his stomach. It was his nipples. She said they couldn't be, because he's male. She had been trying to pull them off. Poor dogs.
"I never wash my daughter's hair, should I be doing that?"
I'm an identical twin.
I heard a girl ask a set of twins in high school how long they had been twins
I dated a twin in college. Id often get asked how i could tell them apart and if I’d ever accidentally tried anything with the other one. Well Susan was a girly girl and loved Ghibli to the point that she had a full sleeve tattoo on her right arm. Derek has a cock.
When I was asked if my boy/girl twins are identical…
Okay real talk though.
I was having a disagreement with a customer in the workplace. At one point she said “why would I be arguing with you if I was wrong?”.
honestly that's kind of a big brain play
"Why would I be arguing with you if you were right?"
Because you don't know that you're wrong.
"What's that yellow stuff?"
Scientifically a sound question. But I doubt that was the context.
I'm going to need more context here before I make a judgement. I'm hoping it was someone asking about a child's painting? Is that too hopeful of me?
Was it a caveman asking?
Working on a tourist sightseeing boat on the ocean in Alaska. Person asks me what elevation we are at. I look down at the ocean and back to them and say, about 10 feet.
Was sitting on a beach in our city limits with a guy once, talking about some cities having high elevation and harder to breathe air, and he said damn, this city must be at a pretty high elevation (to be fair, the wider region is also known for mountains)
Why do we need farmers when we have supermarkets. Heard this in real life and blew my mind.
Had an adult family pay to go fishing, daughter caught a fish, I bonked it. She got upset, I tried to ease her into the realities of harvesting food. She said it was inhumane and people should go to the store for meat, she gave me stink eye for the rest of the day and wouldn't touch the damn fish that she herself killed.
I worked at an ice cream store and someone came in, looked at the ice cream cone I was handing to someone then looked at me and asked "what kind of soups do you have"
Vanilla if you wait long enough
First I can’t find clothes at the soup store and now I can’t find soup at the ice shop! Damn it I need some ice cream to calm down, I better head over to the phone store
Do I need to put my name on this?
The correct response to this is “do you want credit for it?”
I had the neighbors by for a quick chat a few years ago, and we happened to be standing by our goat pen, we had three at the time. For whatever reason, people don't really see goats as pets, and I'm often asked about their purpose, are they meat, etc.
You should have let him try, the result probably wouldn't have been too far rom what he was expecting.
Was in a maternity class with my wife. One of the husbands was an endless source of amazing comments. My favorite was while on the topic of breastfeeding. “So do you just poke holes in them or what?” There was a very long, very shocked pause from the instructor before she explained it to him.
Just like a Capri Sun!
But really. So glad he asked instead of experimenting.
After reading this comment to my husband, he just asked if it "was a very pregnant pause?" while giving me finger guns...
Man I wish I could hear all the other comments he made
I'm currently recovering from laughing at this so much that it physically hurt by the time I stopped. Thank you. I needed that.
”Why don’t they schedule New Year’s Eve so that it’ll always be on a Monday?”
This isn't actually the worst question. A popular reform to a 13- month calendar, each month having 28 days, had a provision that New Year's Eve was a special day that would not be part of any week.
What can I take for internal bleeding?
“It’s fine. Doc said I just have internal bleeding. That’s where the blood is supposed to be”
I'm half Inuit. In 6th grade I did a social studies project on Inuit people/lifestyles. During my presentation, I brought up the fact that I'm half Inuit and pointed out different things my grandmother was teaching me. A boy in the class the goes "how can you be an indian?? I thought they were like.. extinct"
That's just depressing.
“I said Inuit, not Indian.”
"Do they use skeleton keys to unlock cemetery gates and mausoleum doors?"
Dumb question but great dad joke.
What's your African name?
“I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours”
[Copied from a similar post because I'm lazy]
I got stuck in line at a Starbucks behind a woman trying to order a "skinny americano". They asked, "do you mean an americano with skim milk?"
can't believe this chump doesn't know the difference between a natty lite
You missed a perfect opportunity to say something equally nonsensical.
Way back in community college I was in an English class of some sort, I forget which. The teacher had people write ideas for what people would like to write essays about on the board and then we got into groups of four and had to pick one topic for our whole group. Somebody had written something along the lines of “should NASA get a larger budget” which I really took a liking to and vocalized this to my group. One girl said she thought that was stupid, what had NASA ever done for anyone. I pointed out that many things we take for granted were developed by NASA and this girl deadass says to me “but you know there’s no air up there, right? That’s why we don’t leave.”
I'm torn between "what‽" and "I guess she's technically partially correct.
I had a guy tell me we should just release air from the Earth out into space.
While working tech support at a major financial services firm in the early '90s, I received the following email: "I currently use a hard disk and a monitor. I would like to get rid of the monitor and just use the hard disk. Can I do that myself, or do I need you to do it for me?"
Im originally from France and I went to college in the US. I have a thick accent. Someone asked me how I learned French. Told them that I was from France. They asked the question again. Turns out, they thought everyone’s first language was English, and I had to explain them that no one is born speaking a language
About 25 years ago I was explaining time zones to a 20ish year old intern at a large scientific agency. She wasn't getting it, so i got an orange I brought for lunch and used it as the Earth.
I think she was fucking with you lol
This did not end how I was expecting...
Now imagine a man in his early 60's jumping up and down, pointing out that the earth was not moving under his feet so how could it be rotating.
OK, now pretend this cube represents time. A time cube. Every day is really four days. LIFE ENCOMPASSES A 4-16 CUBE.
Told a girl I was starting college in the fall and she asked if I was going to "Campus". She had heard the word used and thought it was the name of a college.
Gooooo Campus!! ☝️
In the era of COVID, it's a legit question. Because you could be starting college online instead of going to Campus.
One time a child asked me how big my dog was. The dog was standing right next to me. I was at an event and we were there with our dogs for the propose of letting people meet them, but I was interacting with thousands of people a day. My brain broke and I just pointed to the dog and answered "this big". The other people in my group still talk about that interaction to this day.
“Does your dog bite?”
My ex, we were planning a trip to Australia. She asked me if we should get the Rosetta stone program for "Australian" so that we would be able to communicate better there.
Nah just practice reading upside down and she'll be fine
"Sir, where are your bananas?" -A customer that was standing two feet from the banana display, which I was stocking.
Yes, but where are 𝒴𝑜𝓊𝓇 bananas?
Where is Canada?
“Wait foxes are real?” This was freshman year of high school.
I have been asked and witnessed stupid questions but I am struggling to think of a good gem.
Did she think it was Spanish "I am" sauce?
We had to do internships back in medical school, we basically could choose anything that had to do with people. Since I had already done an internship at basically all three main options we had, I asked if I'd be allowed to it at a funeral home, which I was.
That I can't have a baby because I don't have a belly button
I don't have one either and I was told this by so many people, I had a proper breakdown at about 8 because of it!
Wait, you don't have a belly button? How?
(Preparing for standing lateral knee xray)
casually bends knee 90° backwards
Me checking out my friends baton
Reminds me of a scene from Boardwalk Empire where a character gets his gnarly knife confiscated by a rival gangster. "What's this on the hilt?" "It's called a skull crusher. It's for cracking walnuts."
"Is that the sun?"
A friend once asked me, “There’s not actually color in space, right?”
A cocktail server that I’m training: “is there vodka in a rum and Coke?” 🤦♀️
Raft guiding in TN, on MULTIPLE occasions;
A few years ago some people had to be rescued in my town, because someone told them the river went in a circle and they stayed on that shit for a day and a half
Yup. Theme Park generation. Every ride gets you to where you got on. Makes so much sense.
I went kayaking with my ex-girlfriend and she got mad at one point and asked “why is this water so wet?” She now has a child…
"... what's that?" (when I told him to move the cursor)
A girl in High School spread a rumor that I had Boob job. Guys kept coming up to me and asking if it was true. I am literally B-Cup (and was even smaller then)
Beautiful answer. I like your style!
My troglodyte sister called me during a fight with her boyfriend. She wanted me to explain the difference between day-tuh (data) and dat-ah (data). She was very insistent the two had different meanings. Day-tuh was clearly what your phone used and dat-ah was information collected by scientists. It still makes me laugh and I’ll never let her forget it.
To quote Data from Star Trek when asked what the difference was:
[удалено]
LOL, long long time ago in a first aid class, 20 men doing a mock accident simulation after 3 days of training. I was a wounded in the neck injury person for the simulation. Two of my compadres came to me, did the whole first aid routine and in the end put a tight round bandaged around my neck. I had to keep a few fingers in there so I wouldn't choke... The instructor was not impressed.
Less than an hour ago I went through the Taco Bell drive through and handed them my American Express Hilton Honors card to pay. Basically the more I use it the more hotel points I get. The girl literally, sincerely, asked me if I was the owner of Hilton hotels. I was taken aback but said no. She said are you in the family and I said yeah thinking she knew what kind of card it was and might have been a Hilton honors member too. She said REALLY??? And I knew then she thought I meant I am an heir to the Hilton family.
Did you know they own Paris?
There are absolutely dumb questions. Teachers just say that to trick you into asking anything.
As a teacher, I can confirm. We say "there are no stupid questions" so kids will ask us stupid questions and then we can laugh about them at dinner parties.
“Now children, remember there are no stupid questions, only stupid people.”
How do you spell E.T?
This is so simple, I love it!
Keep in mind this is from a TRAVEL AGENT for a HUGE company who was a client of mine. I was in travel documentation.
Was asked by a Funeral Director student why a Synagogue didn't use a cross as their holy symbol.
Did you tell him it's actually the other way around?
In high school, senior year, a girl asked this in biology: "So, I can only get pregnant during my period?"
Reminds me of this story about a girl who dreaded ''the curse''. She asked her mom about it as grandma had told her for years it was coming.... Mom was quick to explain it was grandma's name for having your period. She was old enough to have periods for a long time at that point.
[удалено]
looks down at tattoo in terror and begins rubbing vigorously, but it isn’t coming off “fuuuuuuuccckk”
"Don't you worry about what that will look like when you're older?!"
“No, no, I have to get them redone after every moulting cycle. It’s kind of a pain.”
someone asked me the difference between asia & china.
In seventh grade a classmate and I had to do a presentation about Japanese cuisine. When we met up, she had researched and written about Indian food.
How many quarters are in a football game?
About a dollars worth isn't it?
“Is it true that kids with autism can’t be vaccinated?” The woman who asked me that herself admitted that it was a dumb question and she was a bit embarrassed to ask, but she was terribly mislead by someone and she wanted to make sure. Backstory, if anyone can’t sleep like me and is interested: I was working part time at a medical centre offering genetic consulting and testing for many genetic disorders and diseases and stuff. Among many others, there were some tests for genetic markers that may be connected to autism spectrum. My job was mostly taking calls and answering all sorts of questions, in theory about what kind of tests the firm was offering and that sort of stuff, but sometimes… some people asked some wild questions. Anyways, one day this lady called, said her son had autism, even had some genetic tests run at our facility. Now the kid was scheduled to get some “standard” vaccination soon (measles or chicken pox vaccine, almost every kid in my country is scheduled to get it when we hit a certain age, but it’s not mandatory). It was the middle of pandemic, so she called her primary care clinic to ask some questions about Covid restrictions and all that jazz, and to schedule an appointment. And here comes the infuriating part - the nurse or someone that answered her call told the kid’s mother that CHILDREN WITH AUTISM CAN NOT BE VACCINATED UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES BECAUSE VACCINES CAN MAKE THE KID “WORSE”. The lady did not know what the heck was going on. She was pro-vaccination and all, the kid already had some previous shots for other diseases and there were no side effects, but the clinic worker scared her and messed with her head so she wanted to make sure and didn’t know who to ask, so she called us. The worst thing - I wasn’t authorised to give her any substantial medical advice, but I managed to calm her down a little and to convince her to get a second opinion from a professional doctor. All in all, it was a pleasant talk, but goddamnit, it’s been a year and I’m still mad and the woman from primary care clinic. Thank you for reading my TED talk, have a good night or day or time in general.
I worked at an outdoor retailer, sort of similar to an REI, but it was a little local shop. This lady asks me if we have bear bells.
"Does the bacon grilled cheese sandwich have bacon on it?"
I would have legitimately said "no we just call it that to confuse people".
Oh I love when I'm asked this one. I had brain surgery. They removed some of my brain that stored memories. The first thing people ask me is "what did you forget?" Like I'd remember what I forgot
It reminds me of my friend talking to my color blind husband. She would ask him "yes, but what to you SEE?" and hed be baffled by it. So I brought up a filter on the computer that lets you see a colored picture next to one that looks like what he sees, so she could see the difference and how he sees what we see. She just got impatient and just kept asking "yeah, ok, but what do you SEE?" Like, honey, I'm showing you exactly what he sees. He doesn't know what he doesn't see...facepalm
Conversation I have daily:
If he’s busting his lips daily I’ll be seriously worried about both your and E lol. hope he’s doing well now.
What's a Florida ounce?
Mostly seeds and stems
I feel like we were close to discontinuing
While working at McDonald's when I was a 17yo teen, Customer: can I have a cheeseburger with no cheese? Me: so you want a hamburger? Customer: no no a cheeseburger....... with no cheese Me: (internaly thinking, I don't get paid enough to argue with this stupidity) ............. OK, that will be $1.10
"Does ground beef come from the ground?" Molly G in Mr Ballesterros' Freshmen Spanish class circa 2007ish at SHS in Phoenix Az. Nobody forgets anything Molly!
In a way, yes.
I work for an IV committee at a hospital and some of the drugs we compound cannot be sent via pneumatic tube because the shaking of the tube can affect the integrity of the medication. So, we put this bright stickers on them saying not to tube them. We had a very expensive medication tubed back to us from a part of the hospital, so the medication could not be reused. I wrote up a report on the event and a nurse emailed me and asked, "How do we return it if we cant tube it?"
I believe I may have asked the dumbest question in history. Our neighbor was in our driveway, and this is a guy that never really had anything to do with anyone around the neighborhood. I asked him what's up, and he told me he was looking for his cat. He said the cat was really old and was both blind and deaf and it had some gotten out. I asked what's your cat's name, I'll help you look and call for it. He looked at me with a completely blank stare for like 10/15 seconds, and finally says, I just told you it's deaf. I swear I've never felt so stupid.
Do you think cats think in meows?
This one made me pause for a second.
We had a holocaust survivor talk to our high school history class. One of my friends asked, "what did you do for fun?" ... the response, "there was no fun, only survival"
Yesterday I had this conversation with my boss:
Dumbest question I’ve asked - does fresh printed Canadian money really smell like maple syrup?
It does though. The government denies its intentions of course, but if you sniff the bills whatever chemicals are off gassing from it smell enough like maple that you can think it’s impregnated with a scent.
I asked my mom if back when the T.Vs were in black and white if the world was too
I once asked my mom if people really did walk faster in the early 20th century (footage from that era is almost almost played back too fast).
"Do you work here?" is a valid question in a lot of places, but I was wearing the whole uniform top to bottom. Even the hat.
I work in IT for a power company. When I was on the helpdesk a user called and asked me why she had to charge her laptop? We work for the power company and this person couldn't understand that they need to charge their laptop. I explained to them why they needed to charge their laptop and they got mad at me and hung up.
Why didn't you cheat on your ex-wife?
A friend in high school: "Hey!! Have you ever noticed...it's either raining or it isn't?"
Me, a 19 year old American, preparing to move to England. A friend of a friend, ~22 years old, asks “is it hard with the language difference?”
Obligatory not directed at me, but I have two taken from a list in my notes app that I had when I was in high school. It was solely dedicated to things I heard at school.
Why did they think dogs have herpes? Thats such a specific belief?
“Why are you dyspraxic?” - My P.E teacher after I tripped and fell during cross country, multiple times.
We had 'minute' cutlets, which are thinly sliced pork cutlets that cook rapidly.
"Do I need to fill out the registration application form to apply for a registration?"
“How much do you cost?”
What was your reply?
I was cashiering at a Scholastic Book Fair. A lady asked me if the money we raised was used for scholarships. I replied "Ma'am, this is a public elementary school."
Do you have to fly over water to get to France?
I was on a ship and someone asked if the elevator would take them from the back to the front because "the front is up".
My IT teacher told us a story one of our first days of someone who asked if the reason their computer wasn’t working right might have had anything to do with the fact their power was out. That was they day I learned what an ID-10t error really was.
Is a raspberry a mammal?
Excuse me ma'am, I can't find the Lemon Zest? I need it for my recipe?
Does chocolate milk come from brown cows?
This is my fault. I taught my kids that it does. They believed me (for a while). Sorry.
Walking home late at night I thought a nice piece of fried chicken from KFC would hit the spot, but I wasn't hungry enough for an entire meal, I only wanted a piece of chicken.
I'm currently working as a parcel delivery driver. Nine out of ten people ask me what I'm delivering. They're being deadly serious serious when they ask "What is it?". I'm a delivery driver going from local depot to door and all I can say to that question is "It's a box". I don't know what they've ordered, and I don't really care.