Why do you choose to be a nice person?

  1. It’s fulfilling, even though it can be emotionally costly at times. Also, your niceness can inspire niceness in others so that’s always a driving force.

  2. Being nice may be emotionally costly but the affect that being mean has overall is soo much worse. It's drags you down initially, and the person you're not nice to. Which can cause lasting problems because no one wants to deal with or be nice to a mean/negative person. And that's all aside from the long term negative effects on your health and mental health that being constantly in that circle or not niceness will get you. It's honestly cheaper and better for everyone to be nice. Even if it is a little harder...some people require extra niceness.

  3. I came here to say something like this. Sometimes I don't want to be nice anymore because people can be so unthankful but it's just something you don't have control over. But I also believe that it can inspire others to be nice. Well said!

  4. You never know how their life has been, or is. You never know how someone is feeling, or when one snarky sentence could send them over the edge. I never want to be the cause of someone’s despair.

  5. This is definitely one thing that ended up saving me. I was quite a angry kid and I’m thankful for the one kid who ended up reaching out and turned my life around. I could have stayed angry, alone and asocial but they took me into their friend group

  6. This week has been really hard on me stress wise due to my mom having a surgery and I’ve been in an awful place emotionally. People being unnecessarily rude or cruel to me for no reason or very little provocation has led to me crying and shaking and in tears all night. On the other hand, people being nice to me and doing me even tiny favors or the smallest word of encouragement has meant the world and lifted my spirits higher than I think they even imagined.

  7. This is my exact approach too. You never know how someone is feeling on the inside, the way you treat them/your choice of words can make a bad day bearable/slightly better, or make it 293738x worse

  8. I agree with the sentiment, but sometimes it takes effort. For example, if you’re having a bad day and someone makes a mistake that makes your day slightly worse, the “easy” way is to take out your frustration on them. Sometimes it does take effort to be nice.

  9. For me, it's also the most pragmatic option. Being nasty never got me anything. People conspire against you when you're mean to them and they will try to take things away from you simply because they don't like you and think you're a dick. So in a way, being nice is often the smarter option, too.

  10. I am a closet asshole. I am generally nice and supportive or people because deep down I revel in the feeling of being superior… (only half /s but I am pretty pleasant to be around)

  11. Yes, exactly this! Not only do I want to be a nice person to help others out, I have personally gained so much personally by being nice. I work in a career that isn’t exactly “liked” and I would argue by being likable and nice it has gotten me much further than being a hard ass.

  12. Yes I think so to. It is sometimes hard, but you and others around you will be happier at the end of the day. Enjoy the time you have and let others enjoy their time.

  13. Even if most people won't return your kindness they are very likely to return your cruelty. So being nice is less detrimental for you than being an asshole at least.

  14. Yeah, this is the way I look at it sometimes. People might say you're selfless if you're nice, but it can be a selfish thing. It makes me feel good to make others feel good and it's an ego boost if people like you.

  15. You don’t have to answer obviously, but as a child I was taught to be polite and kind to all. Sometimes other are not so kind. How do you deal with say road rage or someone saying something to you that is out of line and hurtful? Do you “stand up for yourself” or do you give that random stranger that flips you off for no reason the benefit of the doubt?

  16. For me, I feel really good myself when I do something nice like hold them door open for the elderly or say hi to a random person in passing, etc.

  17. Don’t worry. It’s not that you’re doing it entirely for yourself - in making them happy, you feel happy. That’s a good human response. It isn’t self absorbed, it’s kindness. You SHOULD feel happy when others are! And that you were a part of it!

  18. It’s weird to think of it that way but that’s totally it. I treat people with kindness because it makes me feel good to make them feel good. Also to protect myself in a way because I would expect them to treat me with the same kindness. That’s why I normally end up crying when people (strangers) are rude to me - it just feels so unfair because I would never do that to someone else.

  19. Yep! The way I see it, being an asshole requires just as much effort as being nice, but pays off way less. It's only part of the reason for me, but it's an important part. Life's easier when everybody likes you.

  20. I was a jerk when I was 18-20ish. I made so many problems for myself. It's just easier to not pick shit, or respond to provocations.

  21. Yeah, I'm just a generally nice person. Not to say I'm never a jerk, but generally it's just my default. I'd have to work harder to be petty, angry, or conniving.

  22. It is very difficult to keep yelling obscenities at someone who is calmly and nicely trying to help you, without getting a rise out of them at all.

  23. Sometimes that’s just how you are. My SO is always like this it’s an energy drain. I’m more naturally inclined to be nice, though it’s sometimes a conscious effort.

  24. I cringe a bit when I think about how I'd spend so much time hating and complaining about things, thinking it somehow made me cool or funny. I'd rather be a human golden retriever than someone who spends their time trying to shit on something other people find enjoyable.

  25. It's the opposite for me. I don't think I am inherently nice so I have to make that choice. I am not an overtly horrible or rude person either but if there was a prize for the nicest person ever I know I wouldn't get it. I feel like an impostor sometimes knowing that this doesn't come naturally to me. But the fact that I make that choice consciously is a good enough consolation.

  26. Spent most of my young life angry at the world and everything. It took a toll on me. Now i just want peace of mind in my life. And life has gotten so much better since then. No time to be mean or get angry any more. Things happen and you just keep trucking.

  27. The only thing required for evil to be done is that a good man does nothing. You can't help everyone but everyone can help someone. Eventually, no-one will need helping at all and we as a species level up.

  28. this may be one of the most genuine things I've read in so long. if only more people thought this way we would have a much nicer world all around :)

  29. Surprised how long it took to find this. The golden rule was taught to us in the formative years and it definitely stuck with me at the age of 36 now. Easiest damn thing in life to do

  30. when I was a little girl I cried and yelled a lot I was just angry and my mom always threatened to put a literal sock in my mouth and one day when I was screaming at my ex-friend my mom said to stop or else the sock monster will greet you in hell so I got so scared that if I ever had a temper again I would meet him

  31. It takes so much to choose to be angry, upset, and rude. I don't have the time nor energy to waste like that. 🤷🏻‍♀️

  32. I live by one rule. Don't be a dick. Why? Because there is enough crap we all have to deal with and we are in it together. Why make it worse?

  33. Its just better in life, its rewarding always... the mindset, i also do not expect reciprocity, i strive to be at peace for my own sanity and well being, not to necessarily please others.

  34. Probably parents. Both were surgeons, mom's rounds at the hospital weren't supposed to start till like 8 but she would be there at like 6 till midnight.

  35. It feels nice to be nice. Knowing you did a good thing instead of having something weighing on your conscience legitimately makes you feel lighter. It’s also much better for your overall mental and physical health, particularly when it comes to stuff like blood pressure. At the same time, being nice to others allows them to reap the same benefits you got from your kindness.

  36. Because I know how it feels like to be treated badly and I wouldn’t ever want to be the source of that. I don’t want others to fear me. Being a little bit extra patient with people who might need it costs me a few minutes tops and might make their whole day.

  37. Can't say for sure if I'm a good person or not. Not really my call to make but an effort is being made at least.

  38. Every ounce of kindness, even during the hardest days, will give you peace with yourself. So many temptations and keeping kind, somehow keeps our floats above water.

  39. Life is short and any compassion or empathy I've received from ppl or family makes me feel like i can keep going... i do try to do that for others too 🌹

  40. I'm inherently a rather bitter, angry person, but my partner is the sweetest ray of sunshine in the world, so I choose to try to emulate him as much as I can. The world needs more of him.

  41. Emotions can travel such long distances and do so much more than we might see def at first glance. You never know what someone is going through or what might be happening in their life. Just being around people who are like outwardly negative, even if they don't directly interact with you, can sour a day, different for everyone and their situation obviously. So just trying to be at least neutral if not at least like a smile or thanks, holding a door open, picking up something to return if they drop it. Just why little thing might do nothing, but it could also change sometimes day for the better. Where as acting just angry or aggressive might do nothing, but it could also change sometimes day/mood for the worse

  42. I jus slide through life smoothly. Every one I meet gets a friendly face and pleasant language. I get given freebies. I get shown the short cuts. It seems like everyone around me is shouting and complaining and they get worse when I just slip past them because I treated the doorkeeper or the waiter or the salesperson like a human being.

  43. I am not always a nice person, there’s some days I want to be nasty back and some days that I am nasty back. But usually, I have a conversation with myself and ask myself is it worth it? Will it change anything or only make me feel better? Usually the answer is no, so I choose to be nice

  44. Because I was tired of hurting my family with my actions and tired of being compared to my aunt who is not a nice person. So I learned to think about what I’m saying before I say anything. I get better every day

  45. because some hard points in my life i just needed someone to sympathize with me and help me, and now i try to do the same for others because you never know what kind of weight someone is carrying on their shoulders

  46. I was named after Sir Lancelot by my parents(yes my name is Lancelot), I hadn't really been the best person around, so i did a little reflecting on my life, I wanted to make up for the sins and bad things i've done by doing as much good as I can.

  47. I don’t feel like I’m really choosing it. It seems like being an asshole would cost way more effort and would make the things I want in my life much less likely to happen.

  48. Because I was bullied from 2nd grade to 6th and all I wanted was at least ONE nice person to be a friend or stick up for me and I never got that. I will always be that

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