What is your "You have become the very thing you swore to destroy" moment?

  1. My mom has always been an aggressive, impatient, and “in your face” driver. It drove me nuts as a kid growing up and getting driven around by her, so I swore to myself that I would be the most chill driver ever when that day came.

  2. Me too lmfao. My dad is the chill, never impatient driver while my mom is the more impatient and aggressive driver. I always kind of laughed when she got impatient and thought "that won't be me" I have since realized that It was also me all along.

  3. There’s a bunch of middle schoolers who skip school very often in my neighborhood and destroy property on a regular basis.

  4. When I was an apprentice electrician it always pissed me off when my journeyman would make me do the hard manual parts of a job while he did the easier, but more technical work. I always swore that when I got my license and my first apprentice that I’d be different.

  5. This is standard practice for most trades. Have the apprentice work the laborious things to build fundamental skills and to free the journeyman to do delicate technical tasks. That and dealing with asshole customers and shop politics.

  6. I was just thinking about . I hope to finally get an intern this year cause I’ve been doing my job alone for 5 years. I always need t do everything, all the shitty projects, all the boring stuff. (I’m a video editor)

  7. The thing is - youre more experienced, you can hover over them and teach them but at the end of the day you get paid to install that 6 digit backup generator properly and to raise the next generation of journeyman.

  8. I was the opposite. As a 5th year apprentice I said, "I can't wait for the day I turn out so I'll never have to overhead hammerdrill ever again. I'll make the apprentice do it." And here I am still hammerdrilling

  9. I was in a computer class in high school and would drive the teachers nuts. I even had the other kids mocking the teachers by shouting out "on task!" whenever the teacher would start looking around to make sure we were working.

  10. In a somewhat similar vein, I remember my teachers being so old and uninteresting, and vowing that if I ever were to become a teacher, I would not be like them. Well, I wound up becoming a teacher, and now I'm old(er) and uninteresting myself because being energetic and creative in the way that I would like to be is simply unsustainable.

  11. Oof, a hard kickback here. I hope i never get into that point because i did that and other things on school, like bitlocking a pc

  12. I spent a full year living with four roommates, one of whom left every pantry door open. I spent months and months trying to catch her in the act.

  13. I called my wife out the other day complaining that she kept switching the car headlights from the auto setting to off, only to discover she didn’t even know where the headlight setting was and apparently I was doing it out of habit from having a car that didn’t have an auto setting

  14. One of my damned roommates ate the center brownie out of the batch I’d made the night before! I then realized I lived alone and had lived alone for 4 years and that I was the shitty roommate years ago who accused others of doing things I’d forgotten I did.

  15. We have at least ten decorative pillows on our bed and I chuck them off when I go to bed. Now normally my wife comes to bed after me but a couple of months ago, she went to bed before me, and when I came upstairs told me she'd never admit it again, but that we had too many decorative pillows.

  16. Hits close to home. I counted them after a little dispute. 8 on master bed (6 decorative) 4 daughters bed (2 decorative), random bench with 3 pillows, 3 baskets with blankets, one pillow each (3), couch 1 - (6) decorative pillows, couch 2 (7) decorative pillows.

  17. Two years ago I was an electrician's apprentice. The safety guy would always get on to me about being unsafe and I'd hate it I always thought of him as an overpaid under worked dick head. Turns out I was right now I'm an over paid under worked dick head and its awesome the checks are amazing and the work is light as hell.

  18. Electricity is no joke, I dropped a 400w halide light into a saltwater tank when I was shoulder deep moving stuff around...

  19. When I setup the website blocker on the company network. I spent so much of my childhood trying to get around those blockers at school, and now I'm the one setting it up.

  20. In my early twenties I went to art college. I made a piece called “payday”, the subject of which was three sad, balding middle-aged men with pot-bellies in corporate attire. It was a commentary on an unrewarding corporate life in the pursuit of money I never wanted to live. 30 years later, I’m a senior corporate leader with a pot-belly and a bald spot, and the picture I made in art college is hanging in the front hall of my slightly less than modest home. I love my job and everything that corporate life has given me, though I wish I could lose the pot-belly and grow back the long grunge hair I had back then.

  21. Not an art man but it seems like displaying that picture in your house sorta creates a larger piece of art that includes the picture, your house, and you.

  22. I always felt I was good at reading people and almost went into Advertising. Then I realized I'd like be forced to use my empathy to Trick people into spending money on things they didnt want or need. After that, I just couldnt pursue the career path at all.

  23. I told my friend's kids they could have a toy if they didn't fight over it, and if they fought I would take it back, they agreed, then proceeded immediately fight over it when I turned around. Without any conscious input from my brain I span back and heard myself exclaim "What did I just say?!"

  24. My mom is awesome, and I catch myself doing things like her all the time. But the best thing was when I last visited, we answered my dad at the same time with the same answer to a question, so it was like hearing the same voice in stereo! Cracked us both up!

  25. I hated wearing Polos because my mom always talked about how nice this other person's son looked wearing Polos.

  26. A friend of mine at work who's a little bit on the spectrum has every color of Lands' End polo shirt, and black pants, and that's what he wears to work each day. He says it's just so easy to get dressed: no decisions.

  27. I'm in medical devices and my preferred outfit was just jeans and turtleneck- often black because it's simple and looks good. I'm blonde and default hairstyle is a ponytail. I f-ing hate Elizabeth Holmes. I'm older than her and rocked that style first. You can't be a blonde woman in my line of work with a black turtleneck without looking like you're in a Holmes costume now.

  28. When I was younger I used to look at brooks brothers and Home Depot with scorn, like who would be that boring to shop for stuffy old suits and home appliances and lumber? Those are like the only 2 stores I go to now.

  29. When I first started my career in maintenance 28 years ago, all the senior mechanic did was sit inside his shop, bitch and moan about people breaking shit, and soak up cushy repairs on equipment and machinery we could bring to him inside his heated building while myself and the other guys busted our fucking asses swinging sledgehammers, welding, and lugging tools out into the freezing rain to make repairs.

  30. When I was 16 I wanted to be in a famous band like Blink 182, have my own art studio, and destroy the concept of the 9-5. I have my own art studio in my home but now I work for a bank and process loans in a 9-5. I was at work today realising how I have become the Sith.

  31. When I was 16 I lived in a caravan I rented on a pot farm, reading beat novels and writing poetry by kerosene lamp when the generator shut down for the night.

  32. Makes me think of the movie SLC Punk. At the end he ends up in the system as a lawyer and jokingly says he must've been a poser all along.

  33. Growing up, my dad hated going out. When we went on church outings, we were always the first family to leave. He just wanted to stay in and read the paper or watch tv. I vowed to never be as boring as him when I got older.

  34. Something about plans being being cancelled is so relieving. It’s like “well I’ve done all I can to be social, no more pressure today”, which I know is probably not healthy but damn it feels good lol

  35. This is me to a letter, I hate it about myself but I haven't been able to change anything, I'm just a homebody, I try to say yes to things as often as I can, but I'd still rather stay in than go anywhere.

  36. Based on your username I just imagine a drill sergeant with a bucket on his head yelling in a slightly muffled voice

  37. In my case it's "when I have kids I'm not going to yell at them for no reason like my mom does" and now seeing these comments I'm kinda of worried how it's going to turn out

  38. As a private I hated when NCOs referenced their rank. One day a guy was questioning an aspect of a planned raid while we were deployed, I said “Is it cool if I be the squad leader and you be the SAW gunner?”

  39. Looking at the work of an intern and wanted to scream at him "I don't understand, been doing this the same way for a decade. Why did you have to mess with it? I looked into this already when you were still in middle school. All you had to do was look on the server to find the solution to this problem"

  40. When people are outside the system it seems so easy a d straigght forward to not have or deal with...

  41. Ran my own company for years. One big lesson: large groups of independent thinkers have a difficult time collaboratively making decisions involving tradeoffs or when there's no particularly appealing course of action available. Another big lesson: opinions on what constitutes reasonable expectations can vary greatly from individual to individual. And a third lesson: people can be really quirky about money and finance.

  42. Oh I always was curious about this scenario ! Please can you answer me : now that the company is healthy enough, what keeps you to just recruit 1 or 2 director guys, and hey just do your job,and you do almost nothing (like 1 day a week or one week a month to check they didnt go too reckless) ?

  43. In my teen years I was a free living, no plans or aspirations type of person. You know, go with the flow fuck a job type. And always thought I’d be that way. Now I work 7 to 3:30 every day, meal prep, go to the gym and generally like to have a routine.

  44. I didn't mind it, but I was brought up strict. Dad was all about discipline, honor, timeliness, reliability, and never, ever giving a compliment or praise that lasted more than 3 syllables. 4 if you did a really, really good job.

  45. I had a karate dojo where the head sensei was someone who gave out praise freely and abundantly to the best students as well as to absolute beginners. It pumped me up so much and I always always always looked forward to practice even if he doesn't teach our class, only walks by. It's his voice I hear when I practice at home and I'm the kind of kid student who never practices at home and waste everyone's money.

  46. My brother was randomly and violently assaulted by some guys leaving a bar, so I went back every night for a week, armed and ready to find the guys responsible, follow them home and kill them.

  47. Damn that bartender really saved you from not only possibly killing someone but you going to prison with someone’s death on your conscience.

  48. This hit home. My mother was assaulted as a pizza delivery women by some guys from my high school. One was someone who I would call a friend. They were all imprisoned. However, the local judge was later discovered to be receiving kickbacks for sending kids to a private detention center and the DA let most of the people he convicted free. I later found out that they worked night shift at a local gas station. I parked across the street in an empty lot for a month. I had only stopped after I had told a family friend one night and he pointed out something terrifying. We were both older now. Who’s to say he doesn’t have kids waiting at home for him now?

  49. I was fighting with my sister/best friend and I was really mad until she said I was acting like our father. It hurt to hear that. I don’t want to be like him. She apologized and I apologized as well. We both hate our dad. He is manipulative, mentally and physical abusive, and he has sexually assaulted my sister. It was the worst feeling getting said I was like my dad.

  50. I always looked down on drug users most of my life. I later on became an alcoholic and hurt the people I love most. Once it hit me, I cried in my car and felt so ashamed. Since that moment I’ve been improving little by little. It’s much better now. But I look back now and feel so ashamed and embarrassed by my actions. Thankfully the ones I love stuck by me, and I’m so grateful. I’ll do anything for them.

  51. Good on you for recognising that you had a problem, my dad is extremely anti drug but is also a massive alcoholic. It can be very frustrating at times because to me, he comes across as a hypocrite since alcohol is arguably the same as taking drugs, he just doesn’t see it that way.

  52. Always hated the fact my mother was an addict when I was growing up. Few months back I found myself doing a line of coke with my morning cup of tea - the revelation did not make me feel great, but it did give me a kick up the ass

  53. Been sober 12 years if you are interested at all I can point in some directions that worked for me, otherwise no worries abs I hope you have a good idea

  54. When I became a manager in the tech field, I was going to do everything different. Managers suck and don't know what they're talking about. They're all far removed from the work their reports are doing. I was going to be transparent. I was going to tell people everything.

  55. I don't have a problem with my manager knowing less than I do about my job, it becomes a problem when he doesn't realize I know more and fights me on shit where he should just accept my answers. As long as you're letting your people worry about the fightera then you're above a lot of tech bosses

  56. In my experience, the managers in tech that suck are the ones who micromanage and end up doing nothing because of it.

  57. My rule as a supervisor had always been to operate with as much transparency when I can because there will be times I can't operate with transparency and if I so my employees will trust me

  58. When I heard the voice of my mother coming out of my own throat, directed at my kid. That was the only time, though. I put an end to those shenanigans immediately and permanently. It's insane how our parents get inside our heads, even if we hate them.

  59. Shit, a looooong time ago (when I was 11 or so) I was walking across the school yard. My dad used to beat my ass when he was having a bad day and it really fucked with me, so I was walking and just fuming, hating on him and how much of a tyrant he was for taking out his anger on me.

  60. My bully had a similar about face. He was my summer camp bully for years, and we both ended up in the same leadership program. What was going to be an awesome summer for me turned into a dreaded 10 weeks. In the first week they did a lot of interpersonal work and team building, but not the way you would think of it. It was damn near abusive, but it was intended to break us down so we would just open up to each other, and it worked.

  61. Having that moment of clarity and self-awareness and then making the change to be a better person puts you in rare company. How can we become more than our circumstances? Break out of the cycle of family dysfunction? Like this. Right here.

  62. Things like this get me through my day. Genuine chills. What a gift you had that clarity; at the age & could in the moment realize what you were doing & change it.

  63. Recently I got into a tiff with my boyfriend and felt very irritated and irrationally upset. I entered the kitchen and started to aggressively wash the dishes, making sure they made extra noise banging on the sink… just like my mother used to do when she dove into an unexplained bad mood and took it out on me. I straightened up and worked through my feelings pretty quickly and apologized to my boyfriend.

  64. I find myself doing this alot too because of how i was raised, where I don't realize I'm being irrational/angry and wanna argue, and then I go right into feeling shitty and apologetic but it all just happens again anyway... I wish I could catch it before it starts

  65. I grew up a pretty hard-core punker guy. Goimg to shows, fighting, drinking all that. Now, I am a two time business owner and successful professional in my field. Boring dad that goes to cookouts, amusement parks and takes my wife and kid camping. You would never know that was me. My past me would key my car.

  66. "You see life is like that. We change, that's all. You see, the guy I am now is not the guy I was then. If the guy I was then met the guy I am now he'd beat the shit out of me. Those are the facts"

  67. Same boat here. People tend to be shocked when they hear the music I listen to and show them pictures of when I was younger. Now I get to show my kids this wonderful music and I get so happy when one of them asks if we can listen to Dead Kennedys

  68. Sadly your story is not unique in the punk community. I've known several people who lost all their friends because they "sold out" by going to college, or joining the army to get out of the god awful situation they were born into.

  69. I always hated how my mom said, “Keep your eyes peeled” when she wanted us to pay attention to something. I found it the grossest expression and it made my skin crawl.

  70. I've always had a massive distaste for corporate culture and the 9-5 life, and think of it as prostituting your time and mind, and in a real way, selling your soul. You are literally renting out use of your brain and allowing the renters to fill your thoughts and synapses with what they want you to think about. This beautiful, creative, near-godly mind humans are capable of having, and here you are, spending it on spreadsheets and what % of the budget can be allocated to buying bite sized Snickers for the office kitchen. Completely sad and heartbreaking to me.

  71. That’s interesting. Growing up poor I had always wanted a cushy office job with a desk, secret snack drawer, set hours and weekends off. And when I got that job it took only two years before i was at the end of my rope. Now I’m a self-employed craftsperson that doesn’t make a whole lot and works very irregular hours including weekends lol

  72. I was once in a meeting with our marketing team, and when they said they knew how to track someone's location and send them targeted ads I felt sick. She was so excited, too. I felt like I was working for Darth Vader on the Death Star.

  73. In the middle of a hardcore studying session for my LSAT’s I looked up at the mirror in my bedroom and saw myself, glasses, messy hair, comfy pjs, POURING over my prep test book. It hit me really hard this was not at all the life I had always pictured. I was NEVER going to be a 9-5’r. I was never going to settle down, never gonna get a cushy job or a degree. Never wanted a single responsibility ever. I was gonna be a filmmaker or an artist. I was gonna paint and film in Europe and live the artist life, fuck off, drink, sleep with European men, it’s all I had wanted since I was a teenager. Yet here I was, dutifully studying, a 3.8 student, (I never ONCE studied in high school) trying to get into law school, while my boyfriend of 2 years and future fiancé showered in the next room and our cat was meowing at me for food and attention. I looked at the clock and realized I had to get to bed because I had work at a law firm at 7 the next morning. Had I not decided to go in a very different direction I think I’d be in a ditch somewhere, either dead or dying. My life might not be as “cool” and “artistic” as I thought I wanted, but I’ve never been happier. Old me would have hated looking at that mirror though.

  74. I did the opposite. Burned myself out before I was able to finish my degree in engineering, said fuck that shit and am now studying film and vfx production

  75. I used to work super hard at my job. After hours learning new stuff, working crazy overtime, and really invested in new hires and getting processes on point.

  76. Not sure where you are or what your labour laws are like, but just be careful to not get fired 'with cause', losing your severance! Being salty is good, but being salty and SMART is better.

  77. For most of my teenage and young adult life I swore I'd rather be dead that live in the carbon-copy, cookie-cutter suburban neighborhoods where every house looks exactly the same.

  78. Do you enjoy it? I promised the same now I'm in a section of the PNW where every house is different, the landscape is lush and hilly. I will probably never afford a suburban size home here but it's been good for my spirit and a wonderful change of pace

  79. Back then when I was yet to be in a relationship, I swore I wasn't going to be that type of boyfriend. Be an insecure and overthinking boyfriend. Someone who constantly gaslights to get things his way.

  80. My dad wasn’t around when I was a kid, but I grew up strong and capable(thanks mum) so I always promised myself I’d be the best dad ever… but now that I am a dad, sometimes I wonder if I’m doing more harm than good to my son… I’ll never leave him, but I definitely question my parenting skills and I definitely fear I am doing the wrong things.

  81. I grew up in the SF Bay Area where gentrification has spiraled out of control because of the tech industry. Many people I grew up with moved out of state due to the high cost of living so it really doesn’t even feel like the same place to me anymore. I built up a ton of resentment towards Big Tech.

  82. There's an anti-obesity PSA in existence that you might have seen if you're American. It starts with a guy being wheeled into the OR for a heart attack and then the ad shows his life going backwards and what led up to him having a heart attack.

  83. Keep it up. One unsolicited tip you may already know, but drinking calories is one of the biggest problems a lot of people have because they just don't see a liquid as something that can cause weight gain because it's not food. Even if they know it can, it often gets downplayed/dismissed subconsciously. Throw in the fact that they are usually sugary drinks and that explains a lot of the american obesity problem.

  84. I was anti media, anti corporation, read ad busters, was in a punk rock band. Fast forward to today and I am an art director in an ad agency.

  85. Depression making me NOT a people person- don’t find anyone interesting or anything funny, doesn’t take much to irritate me, etc.

  86. Yeah, it always bugs me when I hear people say the nicest people have struggled the most because it makes them more empathetic. I swear I used to care more and be more understanding of people as a little kid, but mental illness has mostly made me apathetic for other people's struggles. I guess I just don't have the capacity for it anymore.

  87. I feel this so much. My compassion and empathy used to be a point of pride for me- now everyone just makes me angry or apathetic. Working on it in therapy but it’s been a hard shift to swallow

  88. Was a camp counselor in college. Kids had to line up quietly at the door to go inside for lunch, and I found myself saying multiple times, “If you can’t be quiet, I can wait. I don’t need to eat, I’ve got all the time in the world.” 8-year-old me would have thrown hands.

  89. I became a pushover. My mother. The one thing I swore I'd never be, be like her. I am aware though and trying to change. Take charge of my life.

  90. started listening to the grateful dead after years of cringing hearing a million different versions of the same songs from my dad’s speakers

  91. I dunno about 'swore to destroy', but I remember the cognitive dissonance the first time I had to bust a shoplifter.

  92. When picking up his older sister and helping her move out of her dorm, I told my boyfriend that the snacks in the car were for her as well. He then decided to hog the popcorn and I had scolded him for it. I became my mother.

  93. Young teenager me was big on hating ‘the man’. Question everything. Don’t conform. Be weird. Hate the government. Fuck everyone and everything.

  94. I joined the military as a Straight edge Christian and left a gay, beer drinking, pot smoking, atheist.

  95. When I was younger, I didn’t truly appreciate how well my father took care of his family. Now that I’m older, I am entrusted with more responsibilities and bear the pressure of stepping up to take care of my own family. I hope I can do as well as him one day.

  96. My son wanted to have a snack on the couch and, in the words of my father, I said, “only if you put the whole chip in your mouth because otherwise you’ll get crumbs everywhere!”

  97. Whenever I go through a drive thru. I work a drive thru and I know how painful it is, so I feel a sense of guilt and hypocrisy when I’m on the other side of the speaker.

  98. 8 months ago I started working in fast food since then I take great pains to be polite to all retail and customer service people because I know how much shit they get put through. Just pay the kindness forward, know what you want before hand and be nice no matter what. It goes a long ways

  99. My whole childhood I was like "I'll be successful and never do drugs!" and then I got sexually abused twice at 15 years old and became addicted to pot, painkillers, and alcohol.

  100. I'm so sorry that happened to you. Unhealthy coping mechanisms look crazy from the outside to people who haven't dealt with any trauma that made those unhealthy behaviors you once swore you'd never do somehow feel attractive and then... essential once addiction sets in.

  101. I’m sorry. I’m in recovery for ED and have gained weight and it’s been exceptionally difficult. I understand getting fat is the body’s response to severe restriction so it’s very common for those who recover to deal with being fat. It’s a cruel and twisted fate for us.

  102. When i was in high school, i saw a girl crying so hard for a test that she scored pretty well compared to the rest of the class. I didn't understand at the time the reason why she seemed so dissatisfied with that, thinking she was just over reacting and so i was mean to her. Now that i'm a senior in university, i can't count how many times i've cried for grades like that. It's not so bad but it's below what i expected, and so i cry for all the hard work, all the time and effort that i just put into studying, it's not equal to the grades that i've just received. I'm aware that this is my fault and my responsibilities and there're a lot of room for improvement, but more often i just feel like i've wasted a bunch of time preparing for the tests just to scored so poorly. It's so hard for me to express this feeling, done in a wrong way and it looks like humble brag, maybe it is, i'm not so sure.

  103. Your grandma here. I wish you wouldn’t worry about it so much. In 5 years, no one will care what your grades were. Just how well you’re doing your job (or grad school)

  104. Serious here. One of my parents is an alcoholic. I didn’t see too much of it growing up but knew that it was dangerous. I avoided alcohol until I was 3 years older than the legal drinking age in my country. I thought to myself “I’ll have drink, why not. It’ll be like enjoying anything else. Like coffee, or chocolate etc”. Within a couple of years I was drinking daily and had become an alcoholic. Thankfully my parent I both don’t drink anymore. I’m in AA and have been sober 4 and half years.

  105. I began work at a call center making ok-ish money. I made a friend, let's call them L and we got along pretty swell. We both aspired to climb the ranks and suddenly, like within 2 years, we went from call floor agents to me being a floor supervisor and L being senior management. This whole process we had opportunities to step higher and higher in pay and we had this running joke about "eat the rich" because senior level leaders were so disconnected to the issues on our front line agents it was comical at times.

  106. I spent a year and a half losing weight and got thin. After two years of being thin my weight started going back up and I realized that this battle I thought I had one came back to destroy me. I will succeed again.

  107. I’m become cold and resentful. Hateful angry and snide. I’ve become apathetic to life and care very little about others. I am Aggressive and brash. I used to be kind and caring. Patient. Understanding. I used to like kids and couples and people. I used to like playing games.

  108. I swore to myself that I'd never work at the defense contractor in my city, or any defense contractor. I think the military-industrial complex is fucked up.

  109. Used to be very homophobic and racist because my family was like that, then I realized that I like men and that I’m probably bi

  110. Becoming a manager in an open space call center. I am more of a tech profile and I took this job 5 years ago because I had no other choice at that time and needed the money. I was good at it as a worker and quickly got an opportunity to become a manager. I took the opportunity because I saw it as a way to improve my quality of life. Guess what? I did not. Everyday I am forced to manage people in a way I don't like, tell them things I don't believe in. I have 5 times more work than I had as a simple call worker, for barely more money.

  111. I never wanted a "real" Job (retail, labour work, office job) so I spent most of my 20s studying different arts and figuring shit out.

  112. Didn’t want to work in this bullshit. No one pays shit and college education is not a guarantee of secure and lucrative employment. I’ve become completely cynical to this system but I need to work because now I have a 30’year mortgage and other bullshit required payments. Like a $300 utility bill almost every month.

  113. A smoker. Spent the first 22-23 years absolutely adamant that I would never smoke. I didn't expect that working in retail would have such a strong negative imapct on my life. I've made 8 attempts to quite smoking, none have succeeded. I've recently switched to vaping since tobacco is crazy expensive now. I think I'll have to quit retail before I can quit smoking for good.

  114. The first time I quit, I replaced cigarettes with candies. Eventually started craving candies which I figured was worse for my health. So I started smoking again

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