If heaven exists, what’s the first thing you’d do?

  1. In all reality? Probably cry for about 30 minutes because the biggest existential fear at the very core my my humanity has now been lifted.

  2. Ask my childhood friend Kevon for a race. He used to beat me handily when were younger (9-13) and he’d always brag. when I got older and faster I moved away so I was never able to race him again. We arranged for a race but he was shot multiple times and bound to a wheelchair until he passed a few years ago. I wanna race him both in our prime.

  3. First thing I am going to do is find out where I have to go to spectate this epic race. Fucking stoked, I hope you don't mind but I'm going to hope for a tie.

  4. Find my husband, give him a huge hug and never let go again. Live our forever together. I fucking love him and miss him so much.

  5. Same for me and my wife. She believed in an afterlife where you are reunited with your loved ones… I told her I hoped she was right and to kiss the dogs for me.

  6. Sorry for your loss man. It is one thing for a son to lose a father but a father losing their son is an unfathomable pain. Props to you for hanging on man. That's what your son would want you to do.

  7. I jumped into this post to hear some funny shit. This was the first comment I saw, and got hit with some real emotion.

  8. I was gonna say the same thing. Find my brother, my aunt, and my old Sunday school teacher. Especially my brother since he was only 19 and died this past October. I still think of him every morning.

  9. I’m in my mid-50s now (yikes!) and pain, along with back pain I’ve had since I was a teen, is a daily “normal”. I forget what it’s like to have no pain. Heaven would be no pain.

  10. I can't remember who said it, but I always liked the saying, "If there are no dogs in heaven, then I guess I'm not going." Edit: Yes, thankyou, it was Will Rogers, I heard you all the first time.

  11. Man, I'd just curl up and cry if I saw my dog there. I miss her, and she was hands down the best companion I could have asked for.

  12. Fuck, I didnt expect to tear up at the thought of the possibility of seeing all my past pets now im wiping tears away in the middle of the office.

  13. find reception to ask if i can see my stats. (number of steps taken, heartbeats, blinks, the amount of times I've had certain thoughts)

  14. I think about that all the time. I want to be able to see my stats for EVERYTHING, then compare to others by era, location, gender, etc. I could lose days in that database.

  15. Dog heaven is full of limping UPS delivery drivers who can't run away and slow ice cream vans with tires made of ham.

  16. How much time would it take to visit every place on earth, and really take the time to enjoy it touristically? Now remember there is no ocean on the New Earth. And by the time you've done everything, the world will probably have changed a lot, so you can do it again! Plus, boredom itself likely won't exist, and you've got a God of infinite knowledge to teach you, unlimited songs in every language to learn, and every person in history to have been saved to meet and make friends with.

  17. I said hug my son and parents but the dogs. So many dogs I would visit and hug. Like a dog attack...except with kisses and tail wagging.

  18. Oh yes this! A nice cabin on the edge of a meadow, nestled between a stream and the woods. It’s got infinite speed WiFi and a gourmet kitchen. It is heaven, right?

  19. My first thought was, “hold my baby.” The o my thing that ever makes me feel slightly okay about losing a child is that there is this infinitesimal chance there is a place I’ll get to see him again.

  20. Hopefully the past would be available as well as the present. Learn the truth of of history's greatest mysteries.

  21. We all know if he doesn't look and sound like Norgan Freeman, it'll be the biggest letdown of the entire universe.

  22. Find my Grandad and tell him Grandma is getting on well and that she misses him dearly and still speaks to his photo that she has right next to her chair, then hug him and never let him go

  23. Oh my I am so sorry for your losses. I have a 1 yr old named Elijah. We both almost didn’t make through childbirth. Completely healthy pregnancy. You did nothing wrong kind Redditor. Sometimes life just fucking sucks but all will be right one day❤️‍🩹

  24. Find my father. He passed when I was 16. I'd kill to have a mature talk with him now that I'm 23. I never got the chance before.

  25. I’d fine my best friend! He passed exactly 2 weeks ago. What I would go to talk and hug him one more time is insane!

  26. I'd have a cocktail; vodka and ginger ale. Then I'd smoke a cigarette 9 miles long. Then I'd kiss that pretty girl on the tilt-a-whirl. 'Cause this old man is 'goin to town!

  27. "Wait? I'm allowed in? Wow, you REALLY need to have a chat with your marketing people, because they are SERIOUSLY misrepresenting your brand."

  28. If I did get in, I'd want to know more about who didn't get in. Then I'd probably spend the whole time asking why there's a hell when mental illness is real and most often caused by physical limitations and gene expressions. Then I'd probably get thrown the fuck out and told to spend an eternity hanging out with Socrates and Diogenes.

  29. God shuffled his feet, and glanced around at them, the people cleared their throats, and stared right back at him.

  30. I've always thought it would be cool if you could replay your life like a movie but in sandbox mode. Like what would the circumstances of my death be if I had done X instead of Y at age 20. I'm not as much interested in the middle and the substance of my life with these variables, just how it ends differently. Who I'm with, how it happens etc

  31. So many people missing the reference, but thank you for making it. It’s the first thing I thought of and knew I couldn’t be the only one.

  32. I’d find that rainbow bridge and run across it. I have so many fur babies to hug and kiss. I miss my old pup terribly.

  33. I’d want to meet my son. He didn’t make it into this world. He has a full name, and I want to meet my first child and hold him tight. His first name is Edward.

  34. Fall to the ground right there sobbing from the only relief from the constant existential dread I've ever experienced since being a small child.

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