What would be the worst message to receive from space?

  1. If you are receiving this transmission, it is the regret of our species that we have failed in our attempt to fully protect your developing intelligence. Do not attempt reply.

  2. One short story I read a long time ago, was that earth received a message, it took years to decode but turns out it was a distress signal. Then suddenly earth started receiving distress signals from everywhere. Then it just all went silent

  3. That just reminded me of one of the old Mass Effect promo posters. It had a picture of a bunch of stars, and next to each it says something like "signal lost".

  4. What if they all came from the Boötes void millions of years ago, some intergalactical event took place and now we are the only one's left in the universe.

  5. I remember when I was trying to get into the SCP Foundation I read an article that described the foundation receiving a encoded message from space. After they deciphered it it turned out to be a video of an alien suspended in the air screaming and writhing in pain. Nothing was observed to be inflicting pain on it but it screamed at regular intervals. So something like that I guess.

  6. The SCP foundation Is really interesting. Sometimes you'll find racist windows, sometimes lizards with anger issues, and sometimes stuff like this.

  7. Don’t remember where it’s from, but there’s a book or something where humans start getting messages from everywhere that are goodbyes from other species as the universe ends.

  8. "Oh no... have aliens been communicating this entire time with one another and now they're only inviting us at the end!?... Man that's a bummer."

  9. One of the technosignatures SETI is actively looking for is a necro-broadcast, some sort of beacon a dying civilization might cast just before it's end, or after it's end, kind of like a dead man's switch.

  10. I think this is the best one. It's sincere but vague, so it'll leave us wondering and afraid

  11. I freaking LOVED and was absolutely terrified to my core by those books. Yeah, that message would be terrifying on an existential level. Hell, the whole Dark Forest theory in general would be fairly terrifying if true.

  12. I think it would be more terrifying than anything for them to send a message stating their desires to extract their stranded or seeded surveillance team(s), the idea that they are already here and we never knew. That we may have overlooked creatures as being of earth origin and they aren't.

  13. "Hello. We sent you an envoy named Ji-zhus approximately 2,000 of your orbital cycles ago. Please put us in touch with him."

  14. In Lilo & Stitch there's a related joke, somebody argues earth needs to be protected because of some kind of endangered species

  15. "With our mighty Earth technology, we have surpassed your pathetic attempts to eradicate this plague of a species. Behold! Our ultimate weapon, the bringer of victory!"

  16. A message we can't comprehend as a language except for its sheer panic and desperation. Basically, think of like a dog yelping and whining when it's in pain : We can't actually understand anything they're saying, but the sentiment overall is understood

  17. Then it turns out it was just some strange mating sounds from someone who left their space bluetooth speaker on.

  18. -signed, your galactic neighbour who has not gotten a good night's sleep with all that light and noise for over a hundred years.

  19. Congratulations on establishing your first off-world settlement. The Intergalactic Federation will now update your Sentient Species Identification to "Early Expansion" and remove all travel restrictions to and from your solar system.

  20. This is one of the things that bothers me the most in games - when you're in a starting area/mode and there's no indication you're about to change that, and you can't go back afterwards. Very frustrating to only realize this type of thing after the fact.

  21. That could explain the last few years. They are letting in all the "bugs" and annoyances to convince us to upgrade to the premium model...

  22. This idea basically goes hand-in-hand with the Dark Forest theory, which is the creepiest explanation for the Fermi paradox.

  23. “We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own. Your culture will be assimilated. Resistance is futile!"

  24. I immediately searched for this one. I love how the Borg aren't evil, they're just following their programming to be completely merciless.

  25. Hello giant lizard birds. By the time this message has reached you we expect and or hope an intelligent peoples have risen on your planet. We send this first and final message to announce that you are the only ones left…. Be careful as the sole caretakers of the galactic garden you now inherit, do better

  26. I take comfort in the fact that this just as easily sounds like something an alien with a sense of humour would say to fuck with a comparatively primitive species while a bright and blooming intergalactic civilization continues behind them just fine

  27. Whats really scary/frustrating is the fact that only some humans will listen and the rest will just build fires or something like the whole Covid mask thing

  28. People of Earth, your attention, please. This is Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz of the Galactic Hyperspace Planning Council. As you will no doubt be aware, the plans for development of the outlying regions of the Galaxy require the building of a hyperspatial express route through your star system. And regrettably, your planet is one of those scheduled for demolition. The process will take slightly less than two of your Earth minutes. Thank you.

  29. Well there's no point acting all surprised about it! The plans and demolition orders have been on display at your local planning office in Alpha Centauri for fifty of your Earth years! If you can't be bothered to take an interest in local affairs, that's your own lookout.

  30. Vogon poetry is of course, the third worst in the universe. The second worst is that of the Azgoths of Kria. During a recitation by their poet master Grunthos the Flatulent of his poem "Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I Found in My Armpit One Midsummer Morning" four of his audience died of internal haemorrhaging and the president of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived by gnawing one of his own legs off. Grunthos was reported to have been "disappointed" by the poem's reception, and was about to embark on a reading of his 12-book epic entitled "My Favourite Bathtime Gurgles" when his own major intestine, in a desperate attempt to save humanity, leapt straight up through his neck and throttled his brain.

  31. Idk, Contact brought up an interesting point. One of the first broadcasts that would reach space was from Hitler during the German Olympics. To me it would be most frightening if aliens were like us and shared his ideology.

  32. Greetings, we got your earliest transmissions and would like to speak to that Adolf guy. We like the cut of his gib.

  33. We all panic and prepare to be invaded by fascist aliens and then they get here and it turns out they’re just really enthusiastic about toothbrush mustaches.

  34. We are the Canadian Borg. Resistance would be impolite. Please wait to be assimilated. Pour l’assimilation en francais, veuillez appuyer le “2”.

  35. It would be pretty damn hilarious if the Borg always started with "hi." Screw with the head a little bit before threatening assimilation.

  36. Gaia, my beautiful daughter. I got your message. What have they done to you? Never mind, it's going to be ok. Mother's here now...

  37. From what I’ve heard it sounds like not even Tom and Rita would put up much of an effort to save him if this was true

  38. Polluting intergalactic space with radio signals is punishable by extinction - you will now each perform your earth "La Macarena" until you expire.

  39. “Prepare for the return of our savior. Prepare for judgment. Prepare for the return of our Lord, Elvis Presley.”

  40. I read this on the internet a few years ago and liked it and copied it. Maybe someone knows who wrote it and credit can go where it's due.

  41. You all are doing this wrong. Mere death or extinction wouldn't be enough, it's to immediate and quick. Nor would enslavement, as you would likely still be alive.

  42. “Don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead. They are fast. Faster than you can believe. Don't turn your back. Don't look away. And don't blink. Good Luck.”

  43. Just a constant, deafening cacophony of discordant noise with no discernible pattern that you can’t drown out no matter how deep you dig.

  44. Just tell them about all the ice rocks floating in the space. Much easier to transport since you don't need to lift it off the planet's surface and they are in solid form.

  45. I still think the galactic roars that we hear from space are the worst messages. I mean, we listen in, we monitor, we look, and we get a radio wave that when translated, sounds like a movie monster screaming.

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