Your date is a 10, but it has 1 thing you don't like that is enough to make you lose interest/walk away. What would that thing be?

  1. Anti-women's rights. Anti-gay rights. Anti-minority rights. Anti-animals. Is mean. Makes mean "jokes" and laughs them off, constantly annoying me. Shapeshifts. Narcissism. Brags about using people, or implies they use people. I literally had a guy friend (who was expressing romantic interest in me in that moment, no less) once talk about how he "used people" for "fun" (sex) and in that moment my brain was like "yeah no, drop this supposed friend" and this was after years of friendship. There are so many other examples too.

  2. My ex was like this. At the time I was a barista and he would always tell me I could “do better” and give me all kinds of career advice. Both his parents were doctors and he didn’t have to pay for school, never worked a service job, and just could not fathom that I actually just liked working as a barista.

  3. Yes, I did not ask out again a woman who would draw out lawsuits with her ex “just to make a point”, instead of settling out of court to get it over with.

  4. I see you've met my ex sister in law. They hammered out the details of their divorce over the kitchen table, ran it by their lawyers, made some adjustments based on legal feedback, then when they went to court she blew it all up and went full nuclear.

  5. This. I’ve thought about reentering the dating world, but I’m middle age, which means lots of divorced people. My ex, his wife, all of our kids, get along really well to the point of purposely hanging out with each other. I don’t expect anyone I date to have that level of enthusiasm about their ex, but to be respectful, kind, fair is a non-negotiable. Sadly, it’s uncommon. It’s an easy red flag to identify early on, so at least I won’t waste too much of my time.

  6. I went on a date once with a guy who started flirting with a waitress in front of me….who was two decades younger than him and visibly uncomfortable.

  7. Off topic, but I remember when I first got my drivers license, my best friend and I went to Hooters for the first time because we had never been bc both our parents were very conservative. She had just turned 15 and I was 18. The waitress there literally asked us to go and talk to these 40 year old men because they kept saying how hot we were and she ended up getting a $100 tip and she gave us $20 of it. Now that I’m an old mom lol (30) I realize how fucking nasty that was to ask us to do that.

  8. She listened to nothing but Neil diamond, like nothing at all. I mean I like ND just fine but she had like 200 tapes and records of nothing but Neil Diamond, nothing else… NOTHING!

  9. That bothers the shit of me and it's just friends that do it. But I am probably an odd case though since keep my phone on ignore 24/7 with 2 people on the exceptions list and all app notifications disabled. I'll check that shit or get back to them when I get to it.

  10. They only talk about themselves and have no interest in anything I say. I'd rather not date a narcissist.

  11. This just happened to me. It’s super uncomfortable noticing something like that. I didn’t even think to relate that to narcissism at the moment but you’re right

  12. Yessssss You have to be careful with those, from what I read (I don't know if it's real) I think that sometimes they don't even really realize (Or I don't know everything) their attitudes since they are so focused on themselves that they think they are the victims

  13. I dated two in a row. The second one, I timed how much they talked about themselves one time we hung out. 11hrs. I said two sentences about myself that were dismissed. Exhausting.

  14. I went on a date once with a girl that bragged about her and her pals kicking a seagull to death on a night out and laughed about it. I had to leave after that.

  15. my ex did this to me constantly, completely fucked up my self esteem. I enjoy a good roast session but calling me a dumb slut constantly then just playing it off like its a joke just isn’t funny or cute.

  16. If the target isn't laughing then it's just bullying. If the target says it's hurtful, but the instigator doesn't accept this, this is also bullying. This determination comes from the people who are hurt in these situations, and what we need to do to make it right. The first step is listening to them instead of the people who were "just joking."

  17. Some folks enjoy trading verbal barbs in the same way others enjoy fencing, where you acknowledge and appreciate the cleverness of a good jab or someone having the perfect response to the perfect opening. When there's an understanding there, that kind of thing can be great verbal sport.

  18. They hurt animals or children. If you're willing to hurt someone that can't defend themselves then I don't want to be associated with you at all.

  19. Not quite in the same vein, but I met a very attractive woman at a bar. We hit it off and moved outside to sit alone and get to know each other better.

  20. Dude, my wife wants to take photos of fucking everything... then gets mad at me because I'm not also taking photos of everything. Can't a man just experience some shit? Does it really all have to be documented?

  21. That sounds Hella annoying. My family is so annoying with FB a d IG and post pictures and videos constantly. My husband and I are way more private. It drives me nuts when people are always like "take a picture with me!!!!" I'm good.

  22. A few weeks ago, I was seated near a young woman in IHOP that seemed to spend more time taking pictures of her food and her friend's food than eating. A couple of times she handed her phone to her friend to snap pictures of her with the food, then debate what pictures to post to Instagram and Twitter and what filters to use.

  23. Once a man started singing to me on our first date after asking me if like Disney then saying really intensely that “I know the woman I end up with will Love Disney as much as I do.”

  24. I physically recoiled from your second paragraph. Strike 1-making a scene. Strike 2- A. Disney. Song..... Absolutely not. Strike 3-The stupid comments back to the waitress and surrounding area. And then, he has the audacity to try to kiss you? Did he actually think he was having a Disney moment and you were gonna fall into his arms, like you were playing coy in the restaurant?

  25. Reminds of uni where all the theatre students would sing Disney songs. Every. Single. Day. It was whimsically adorable the first hour. By day 3 I considered it a warcrime.

  26. If they clearly know they're a 10 and believe everyone around them, including me, should be grateful they are gracing us with their physical perfection.

  27. I had a guy like this harass me because it just did nothing for me. I think it was his first time ever hearing no to a hookup (we met in a swingers club so a no can feel really personal there). I had to get the police to go to his apartment and threaten a protection order.

  28. IMO - in order to hit that 10 slot, a lot more than looks should be considered. Empathy, intelligence, kindness. All those things and more add up to the 10 score.

  29. This is underrated. A person could be hot af, but if they throw their garbage on the ground, or leave their shopping cart in a parking space... I just cannot tolerate that shit.

  30. Absolutely, but also that's something that can be corrected. If they're not willing to stop throwing their shit on the ground then that's where it gets problematic.

  31. That attitude in general is a major turn-off. Where I once used to work I had the hots for a woman working in admin, one day I was in her office once trying my best to at innocent flirtation when the cleaning lady came by to tidy up and empty the trash. My sort-of crush, who was on the phone at the time, pointed towards the door and barked "LATER!". The cleaning lady, who we all really liked and appreciated, could only sulk out.

  32. This!!!!! I once left a woman at a restaurant for this. I payed for the meal we haden't received yet, tipped the waitress, dropped a 20 on the table and told her to call a cab.

  33. "oh I hate learning" is one I got on a date once. Like wtf are you planning to do with the rest of your life, watch the Bachelorette all day?

  34. She was no 10 but I definitely remember a girl I was talking to at college orientation week asking why I would bother bringing books to college. Have never been turned off faster.

  35. A date that is controlling is an IMMEDIATE turn off for me. I DO NOT want to feel like I’m on a leash. I value my freedom as much as the air that I breathe.

  36. This is a very Canadian date. We went out to get poutine and my date proceeded to put vinegar and ketchup ALL over my poutine without asking! Wtf?? Last date with him.

  37. Pretty looks eventually fade. But sincerity and selflessness age like fine wine. As someone who looks to the future, I'd rather have the qualities that stay.

  38. Seriously. A friend of a friend streams on YouTube (I guess? I haven't actually watched any of his stuff). He joined us on a trip into the city, and filmed EVERY. SINGLE. THING. People, dancers, buildings, food, me, each person in thr group, and of course himself, talking to his phone, every fuckin minute. It was obnoxious.

  39. One better: ASPIRING instagram influencer. I've met girls like this. They don't actually have followers or sponsorship, but they're trying real hard to get them. Everything gets filmed. Everything is exaggerating. Every person they meet gets told immediately to follow them. It is sad and embarrassing to witness.

  40. They think the earth is flat. Listen, it's a symptom of a bigger problem of not thinking critically. It's little things like that which really show you how somebody tackles facts.

  41. Had an ex that would just blame everyone else for her problems and would always assume the worst in people’s intentions before clearing things up with them…

  42. My highschool girlfriend, upon learning that I believed in evolution, broke down into tears and said "I don't think I can marry someone who believes in evolution." We were 16/17 and had been dating for a few months.

  43. Yeah, I did the online dating thing for a while, and this happened all the damn time. I was very upfront on my profile about my complete lack of religion and complete disinterest in dating anybody who was "seriously" religious. I've done it before and it just never worked, so I wasn't going to waste time doing it again. Yet out of the 30 or 40 women I dated over a 2 year period, at least 4 or 5 completely lied to me, told me they weren't religious, then a few dates in right as things were maybe starting to get serious, bam, out it comes. One even invited me to "stay the night" because there was something really special she wanted to show me the next morning. Yeah, she literally slept with me to try to convince me to go to her church the next morning. I felt a little bad, but I noped the fuck out of there as soon as it was clear where we were going.

  44. Or, even worse: doesnt know and it's proud of it. I had a coworker like this, a young guy, not married but had a gf, and he was proud that he didnt know how to cook or even make an egg, because cooking is for women. Aaah but when it came to mechanics, fixing a car or things like that:..... He didnt know either. Lol. However he only bragged about not cooking or not knowing "feminine" things.

  45. My ex didn't know how to do laundry. I showed him, he asked me to write it down which i never got around to doing. Later he blamed me for him never doing laundry because I never wrote it down or taught him properly. I was so gas lighted at the time that I felt it was indeed my fault. That was a bad time in my life.

  46. I’ve had guys on dates tell me they can’t cook but hint at loving home cooked meals… like ok? I do know how to cook but YouTube and google exist, they can go make themselves their own home cooked meals lol. How have they not learned to cook at least basic things well into adulthood and living on their own?? It’s a giant red flag, like hell no, I’m not gonna be their mommy.

  47. They’re rude to waitstaff, they are condescending, or they have an ego problem and that goes both ways for me.

  48. I've actually been on that date. Gorgeous girl, seemed fun and interesting. Then while at dinner on our second date, she was SUPER rude to the waiter, who was black, and she took issue with EVERYTHING. And after the waiter was out of ear shot, she said, "THEY never get shit right." Bear in mind, the first time we went out, we had a white waiter who she was more than pleasant with, even though both waiters were equally good.

  49. They're already talking about sex. Like I just sat down and haven't even given my drink order and he wants to know if he can order my taco.

  50. i went on a date with guy freshman year of college and at the end he asked “so how long until you’ll want to have sex?” i was a virgin at the time so i wasn’t wanting to rush into that and when i told him that he was like “well after a certain amount of time i’ll get impatient”

  51. I have a good sense of humor, but sometimes my brain goes into serious mode, like when I'm nervous on a first date. Once I know a person a little better, and I know what sort of humor they like, people enjoy my sense of humor. If the person isn't awful in some other way, maybe a second date would be worth a person's while.

  52. I would rather date a 6 with a great sense of humor who got my humor than a 10 with no sense of humor. Personality is soooo much more attractive than the outside.

  53. There are so many things that a 10 appearance won't negate that it is impossible to list them all but I would start with unintelligence, rude, "brutally honest", racist. There are just too many things that looks don't cure.

  54. I've shared this before, but one time I went out on a first date with this girl I met online. I thought she was very attractive and we had so much common that I thought she was perfect. In addition to that we seem to hit off well through texts, so I figured this date would go well.

  55. That's a really cruel line of thinking. Like my thoughts would be "Oh, what if he's like a secret agent waiting to meet up with his contact!" Cause y'know, that's actually a FUN idea.

  56. What a bummer! I had a housemate one summer that did this and was absolutely hilarious because he was so spot on with stereotypes. I’d always been oblivious prior to meeting him.

  57. Ah - The man who could have been a private investigator, on a case trying to find out whether the bartender actually had a private geese collection... is now just a looser :c

  58. Vastly different political viewpoint, it’s not even that I can’t take other points of view I’ve got plenty of friends that fall across the entire political spectrum but in a romantic relationship if we have fundamentally different worldviews it’s not gonna work out in the long run…

  59. You are right, both should have goals in common and with different thoughts it would be difficult to have them and even reach them, (or something tiring)

  60. Can attest to this big time. My ex and I have substantially different opinions and was one, of the many, reasons I had to break it off. The reason I stayed for so long is because I believed so strongly in love, that I refused to see the disrespect he showed especially after stating my opinion.

  61. if they push their religious view points on me, there will be no second date. it's one thing to discuss and share points of view. but when it turns into "repent or you'll burn for eternity", i'm gone.

  62. I don’t even want friends like that. I don’t want anyone pushing their religious beliefs on me. I don’t push what I believe on others so I don’t want them to do it to me.

  63. Flat out obession with anime, its okay to like it and all but having a obsession so far to where it takes over your entire life/personality is a major nope

  64. I had a classmate whose entire speech was basically japanese terms learned from anime shows, along with how certain characters behaved. It's... a lot.

  65. I made this mistake too many times. The last one threw back a whole bottle of Cointreau the second I stepped out. I found him at a bar downstairs, damn near passed out on the bar.

  66. Number one for me moving forward. My ex was a semi functioning alcoholic, even though he denied it. He also took ADHD medication but refused to take it easy on his drinking… or I guess he COULDNT take it easy. Like we’d go out at bars with friends or friends houses and he’d get so wrapped up on whatever fun he was having he’d just throw beers back like it was water. Easy would drink 9+ a night and I’d always have to be the DD and take care of him. At home he’d finish 1 or 2 bottles of 1L sake or wine by himself and end up accidentally breaking things or spilling food everywhere… or just being loud af playing video games while I was trying to sleep.. when I would try to count his drinks or remind him to limit himself he’d get mad at me and sometimes yell at me in public, or at times if he’d meet up with friends for dinner he’d forget to text and just come home at like 4-5am cause he stayed out drinking and thought I was in the wrong cause at least he didn’t drive home drunk and waited at his buddies playing video games till he sobered up…

  67. History of cheating. I'm not going to be with someone I can't trust. And in my eyes they're a p.o.s. so its hard to care about them.

  68. Have to be either their political views, ones that are based on religion or hate don't roll with me. Or bad hygiene.

  69. I had a summer fling with a really attractive woman who was definitely gf material. The problem was, to her, there were three kinds of people in the world: people who wanted to be her; people who were jealous of her; and people who were out to sabotage her.

  70. Any sort of racist, homophobic, transphobic, misogynistic or any other related bullshit is a see you later good bye from me.

  71. If she doesn't secretly want a home in the middle of nowhere with claymore roomba guards and sprinklers with gasoline in them. 🧐

  72. I respect this. Single moms appreciate men who don’t waste time dating them and then being pissed when the woman has to be a mom!

  73. My ex used to go though my phone and I allowed it because I had nothing to show, but I couldn't do the same to her, not that I wanted but still, she was projecting as I confirmed later.

  74. I completely agree! I would never tell someone that their laugh annoys me because I don't want to provoke a complex about expressing joy.

  75. Smoking cigarettes. Lived with smokers for most of my life and I've grown to absolutely hate it. You wanna smoke weed? Hit a fat dab or whatever it is they do these days? Sure, be my guest,but if you smoke a cigarette, or come back smelling like you did, our date is over.

  76. Chewing loudly/smacking their food. Can’t do it. Not worth the rest of whatever they’ve got going on.

  77. littering, smelling bad, signs they treat animals or other people badly, spitting on the ground, smoking, etc etc

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