What would be the best comeback after a girl tells you that you have a small dick?

  1. I like the way this doesn’t even address sex. Like, they’re so boring that they’re not even worth a pump and dump

  2. This is one of my favorites, because it actually feels like it would come off like a believable response and not just a prepared funny comeback. Would do the most emotional damage.

  3. Pro gamer move is actually, "That's not what your mom said last night." And yes I'm 12 (actually 30 lol)

  4. I never understand when some women think that being called out as fat is the worst possible thing someone can do, all the while when they out there making fun of height and penis size, things that are absolutely out of one's control. And even if it was, then be prepared to take shit if you out there giving shits

  5. A neighbor couple got into a screaming fight once, just yelling things at each other, when the woman inevitably played the little dick card, when this king, without missing a beat, screamed back, "Well shit, I'm so sorry I couldn't contribute more than five and a half inches of the literal miles of dick that have gone through you." I hope he's doing all right.

  6. "He flew right into your head, like he couldn't avoid it. Never seen that before. Bird into a woman's head..."

  7. In college, two girls in the front seat started roasting me, topic went to how i have a small dick, and no girl would want it. I sat there quiet just looking out the window, they started "oh, you don't have anything to say now?" and I responded

  8. Something similar happened to me. A girl said that I had a small dick in front of some friends: "do I have to remind you I saw your vagina?". She shut down instantly.

  9. Never understood why this doesn't get said more often. Odds are if she's criticizing your dick, she's taken your dick... should be an easy retort.

  10. You can block me, delete my number, cut up our pictures, and bad mouth me, but you can never unlock my asshole!

  11. Its gotta be the right stare though, can't just look dumbfounded, you need to get that "Really? That's your line?" kind of stare.

  12. I heard a dude at a bar tell a girl after she said something about him having a small dick that she thought all dicks were small because of her wide set vagina, but the way he said vagina was hilarious like fahhgina. Really accenting the H sound. She got so freaking pissed, she started screaming at him.

  13. This reminds me of when Ethan Hawke said that having sex with Uma Thurman after she gave birth was like fucking a glass of water. 🤦🏻‍♀️ super classy thing to say about your wife in a television interview lmao but a solid burn.

  14. Tell her, courtesy of Letterkenny: Your mitt looks like a boa constrictor unhinged its jaw in an effort to consume a combat submarine.

  15. “I submit you took that baseball, stashed it in your unusually large vagina and walked right on outta here!!”

  16. anything other than this response just gives it more power. maybe add a chuckle and a headshake, but certainly dont engage with such a petty immature comment.

  17. "excuse me that is a horrible thing to say. i have a penis commensurate with the national average for my age and height and it was wrong of you to make fun. Further, if you have so much of a problem the polite thing to do would be to tell me you are not in the mood for coital love so that i, a gentleman, could make my exit and leave you be. Now my feelings are hurt and deep down you feel shame. Good luck"

  18. I don't advocate making fun of guys with small penises but I'd start dying laughing if I was a woman and got this response

  19. There's an old WWE segment where Stephanie McMahon Helmsley says something to her husband Triple H implying that he has a small dick.

  20. I saw a post somewhere where a dude told his ex that she didn't have a problem with his dick for the past few years, and then called her an "ol' little-dick sucking ho.'" I liked that he owned his small dick, but it didn't matter because he still had sex.

  21. I fail to see how this would zing your opponent. This imaginary guy begins talking about his experience with large dicked men?

  22. I remember an episode of Sex & the City in which Sam (the slutty one) and her then live-in were in a sexual therapy session. After a bunch of arguing about what wasn't the cause of their troubles:

  23. "I know." It's not a comeback, just an indication that i'm already aware of this. If the conversation continues, i may point out that i did not, in fact, pick my genetics.

  24. However, she DID pick your genetics when she chose to sleep with you... So her dissatisfaction with your size is a reflection of her choices, not your shortcomings.

  25. "My brain spares little blood, for I am incredibly intelligent, and I've found nothing of value within your vaginal walls.."

  26. The hardest thing to do is to say nothing. Pack up your things in absolute monastic silence and leave. If that's your wife, speak to her only through your divorce attorney because that shit is over. If it's down to that kind of disrespect, it's probably not reconcilable. Nothing you say will have a positive or worthwhile impact on that situation and your time/energy is better spent somewhere else. The best revenge is living well. Treat yourself to something fine and ditch the haters.

  27. Back in High School I was a bit pudgy. Some of the popular girls were standing around, and one called out, "Hey, Fatty!"

  28. A girl called me dumb in elementary school. I responded to the insult by calling her fat, because I was in fact dumb and could not think of a better insult. The kid was twig-like.

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