The only good sleep i have had in my life waking up feeling so refreshed like it was from a disney movie was the morning after i sprained my ankle really bad. My ankle is still fked from it months later but whats worse is experiencing that amazing sleep and refreshing day knowing what it took to get it haha.
At least in Australia, prices of take away alcohol is almost identical than it was 5 years ago. Weirdly, prices are almost twice than they were in a bar 5 years ago.
there are literally so many things that have absolutely no chance of happening. there are many other things that have 100% chance of happening. how is your mind so small?
The entire world could be making fun of me and calling me a wimp, someone could offer me a million and show me the money, God himself could say "hey man go ahead and jump and you get to change one thing you don't like about life", you could pull out a gun and I'd probably rather let you shoot me than jump out of a damn plane. Sometimes I have nightmares about it and wake up on a cold sweat. Heights area very, very strong phobia for me.
I don't expect that I will ever get married. But I am curious why you think that you will never get married. I understand it you don't want to share but if you do I am genuinely interested
They do. It became the US industry standard in the 1970s. There are many jobs that require knowledge of imperial and metric systems. You can go into any hardware store and find imperial and metric wrench sets. The roads are not metric because a majority were built decades ago and too expensive to completely change. And while it's not part of the metric system, using Celsius as a temperature unit is stupid.
In all seriousness, you shouldn’t have to say this. I don’t know what you like, what your hobbies are, your situation, etc…. but I do know that no matter what, you should be looking at the positive side, and be thankful to wake up each and every day on this planet.
Everything has zero chance of happening, no matter how likely, since all probabilities are some finite number over an infinite number of possible outcomes.
This unironically. The very nature of reality means that you can never be truly sure if say you're in a dream or some form of simulation where the rules you know are still malleable in ways you can't imagine.
Strictly speaking, there are things that have a 0% chance of happening. The counter-intuitive problem is that 0% chance of happening doesn't necessarily mean it's impossible.
This is actually a bit of an interesting concept, because a lot of things do have some small chance of happening even if it's infinitesimally small. However, one thing that has a zero percent chance of happening beyond a shadow of a doubt is for the light from the sun to reach earth in less than 8 minutes
The entire earth teleporting to the other side of the universe. It technically could happen, (if I’m remembering a book I read a while ago right) but the chance is so mind bogglingly low it’s not even worth thinking about
The World Cup going to a deserving country regardless of how much money they bribe with - and instead going to a country with the infrastructure there, good wages to build what isn’t there and a moderate temperature for playing conditions.
I promise you, sex is not at all unattainable for nearly anybody. Hit the gym 2-3 times a week, shower every day, wear deodorant, wear clothes that make you feel good, actually put yourself out there without being scared of rejection and don't be a creep. Trust me man, I'm a literal cave troll on the attractive scale and I used to think the same way as you until someone told me the same thing and I tried it and found out it's actually pretty simple.
You cutting your own head off, then mailing it to a 145 year old man in Indonesia, who happens to have the same birthday, down to the same year, as you, but it happened 7 years ago. And he walks your head back to you, but as time goes in reverse. And then when you get your head back to your body, you punt it and actually hit the moon.
The the character from the most recent character wiki page I visited coming to visit me irl, and thank god because it was some fucked up children's book character that reminded me of Hitler but combined with ancient fucking Rome.
Me getting proper sleep and wake up not being exhausted
The only good sleep i have had in my life waking up feeling so refreshed like it was from a disney movie was the morning after i sprained my ankle really bad. My ankle is still fked from it months later but whats worse is experiencing that amazing sleep and refreshing day knowing what it took to get it haha.
get checked for sleep apnea
Damn revenge bedtime procrastination...
as a night shift worker, I felt that.
World Peace
I will fight you to make this happen
I'd argue it's close to 100% if given enough time. If humanity eventually dies out there will be only peace until a new species can start war
prices permanently going back to the way it used to be 5 years ago
Eggs around here are no less than $5.29, up about 50 cents. Only a few months ago they are under $3. Even Food Lion has gone up on them.
Gasoline price during lockdown
I mean deflation is real, but highly improbable
At least in Australia, prices of take away alcohol is almost identical than it was 5 years ago. Weirdly, prices are almost twice than they were in a bar 5 years ago.
The Beatles reuniting on Earth.
I can’t think of a single thing that has a 0% or 100% chance.
Then let's say there is a 0% chance of coming up with something that has a 0% chance of happening.
[удалено]
Death has a 100% probability
Keep thinking, there’s a chance you will eventually
there are literally so many things that have absolutely no chance of happening. there are many other things that have 100% chance of happening. how is your mind so small?
One of these must be true.
Chosing a random real number between 0 and 1 that turns out to be 0.5.
the
You sent me on a journey.
73 and counting. Don't get lead astray by false hope.
I admire ur dedication to this cause.
I'm not even mad. That's amazing.
You're a menace to the society
I'm sure this counts as a rick roll
What have u done
Ah the ol' Reddit
post
This is genius...
Thank you for encouraging me to go on this philosophical journey. The course of my life has been altered for the better. Gentleperson, godspeed.
You not looking at this comment right now
But what if im blind?
Good one
Me going skydiving. You couldn’t even pay me to do that.
You didn't say willingly.. >:)
The entire world could be making fun of me and calling me a wimp, someone could offer me a million and show me the money, God himself could say "hey man go ahead and jump and you get to change one thing you don't like about life", you could pull out a gun and I'd probably rather let you shoot me than jump out of a damn plane. Sometimes I have nightmares about it and wake up on a cold sweat. Heights area very, very strong phobia for me.
Humans stop killing each other.
But what if when they are all dead?
We will fight to the death to stop this from happening.
Killing has been happening since life on Earth first began, which was long before Land Animals even existed, and long before humans.
This is the way.
me getting laid
This guy getting laid.
Buy some laid on ebay man
I'll prove you wrong, silly boy
Somebody randomly dm me only way i get dms is if I seek somebody out and message them first
[удалено]
I always get DM from scammers.
same, but is that such a bad thing? I much prefer irl conversations, and i've come to be content with being alone.
Im new to Reddit and already got 2 DMs randomly, no clue why
Me getting married. Not in this day and age.
I hereby pronounce you married to the game. Get that bag 🎒
Oh look, my bf is commenting on Reddit
I don't expect that I will ever get married. But I am curious why you think that you will never get married. I understand it you don't want to share but if you do I am genuinely interested
Would you marry me?
A different ending for revenge of the sith 😔
Everytime. I hope it’ll end different. It never does 😞
Stupid Palestine turning him to the dark side
Me finding love
same 😔
yeah, same. Find someone who loves me for who I am not just the perfect me but also all my flaws.
I reject your reality
But love can find you
Fetch
Me making someone laugh from a joke I made and not me acting like a complete idiot
Tell them this one.
getting asked out
[удалено]
Damn I came here to say this….
There is a Cure™
You heard of a brothel my friend ?
Idk man, go downtown with $20 and a dream - you'd be amazed at what you can achieve with some monetary motivation.
Let's make it possible LoL, just kidding
You have a husband tho
America using the metric system.
“well look who put us on the moon” -some idiot who doesn’t know NASA uses metric
I mean they do though? Ever been in a machine shop? Even in the most rural parts of the country metric is commonly used.
They do. It became the US industry standard in the 1970s. There are many jobs that require knowledge of imperial and metric systems. You can go into any hardware store and find imperial and metric wrench sets. The roads are not metric because a majority were built decades ago and too expensive to completely change. And while it's not part of the metric system, using Celsius as a temperature unit is stupid.
Canadians enter the chat....
me being happy lol
Not a permanent solution but have you tried drugs?
In all seriousness, you shouldn’t have to say this. I don’t know what you like, what your hobbies are, your situation, etc…. but I do know that no matter what, you should be looking at the positive side, and be thankful to wake up each and every day on this planet.
I’m sorry you’re feeling that way. I’ve been feeling that way too but today I had some cookies and that helped.
Me getting dms from real beautiful women
No pics, so how would you know?
100% factual information
People around the world deciding that politicians and governments are the enemies of a stable world environment and rising up against governments.
I'd prefer governments over corporations...
Every single living person agreeing fully on every single thing.
Me having friends
I get how that feels. Recently lost all my friends bc they turned out to be arrogant assholes. Shits tough but I’ll keep trying if you keep trying.
[удалено]
What if time has been going backwards all along and we just assumed it was going forwards?
Everything has zero chance of happening, no matter how likely, since all probabilities are some finite number over an infinite number of possible outcomes.
So there's a 0% chance of something having a 0% chance of happening
This unironically. The very nature of reality means that you can never be truly sure if say you're in a dream or some form of simulation where the rules you know are still malleable in ways you can't imagine.
Strictly speaking, there are things that have a 0% chance of happening. The counter-intuitive problem is that 0% chance of happening doesn't necessarily mean it's impossible.
This is actually a bit of an interesting concept, because a lot of things do have some small chance of happening even if it's infinitesimally small. However, one thing that has a zero percent chance of happening beyond a shadow of a doubt is for the light from the sun to reach earth in less than 8 minutes
Humans reversing the impending doom that will be brought upon us from climate change
Me coming the next US president. I just don't have the corruption in me...
Just dig down, focus, and rub it out. You've got this
That all people on Reddit treat each other as equals and with respect.
Bug off, sir/madam.
Me dating a cougar while I’m still young
My life ever improving.
me leaving the house today.
World peace
You getting some bitches.
A future without wars. The human nature is immutable
Living forever (immortality)
Me hating OP for invading my feed. 🗿
Obligatory low effort reddit gold comment
a dog turning into a rhino in 3 seconds
My bad breath being miraculously cured.
The entire earth teleporting to the other side of the universe. It technically could happen, (if I’m remembering a book I read a while ago right) but the chance is so mind bogglingly low it’s not even worth thinking about
My current crush becoming my girlfriend… I’m smart enough to know that not going to happen, but I can still dream can’t I?
Just ask her out bro. Being rejected is better than a fear of rejection. But also she might say yes? It's literally a win/win
I'm also in this current situation. Yes, we can definitely still dream, considering that's all we have left at this point.
The dishes I procrastinated doing last night will be done when I wake up.
Me having a friend or a girlfriend. Yeah that's in fact pretty close to 0%. (not kidding)
Hang in there 😢
Hey friend, how was you're day?
I can see why with that kind of attitude!
me being positive to life
Me getting laid 😓
The dishes I procrastinated doing last night will be done when I wake up.
Me Finding a pure nimble rainbow wisp special ability pyramid
World peace
Term limits
Me walking again on my own. (spinal cord injury humor)
Chances are that our chances are not that very good.
Me sprouting wings and flying around.
The sun going supernova within the lifespan of anyone reading this comment
Me becoming world dictator
Growing my legs back fuckkk
Humanity coming together
Nothing has a 0% chance of happening, everything has a chance of happening, though extremely small in certain cases.
Finding a cure for cancer. So much money is made with fundraising, that sadly, they will never find a cure.
Me from not masturbating tonight!!! Yaaay me!!!
Slap it good for me!
Me getting bitches
Me turning down Anna Kendrick. But hear me out...that happening is also zero percent.
Me winning the lottery.
Twitter shutting down.
Nothing. Everything that is possible has greater than a 0% chance.
What if you include things that are not possible?
Me getting any bitches
Someone replying to this with a 'yo momma' joke
Yo momma is so wonderful, you should call her or visit her this Thanksgiving
Yo mamma so old, her chiropractor is a paleontologist
The World Cup going to a deserving country regardless of how much money they bribe with - and instead going to a country with the infrastructure there, good wages to build what isn’t there and a moderate temperature for playing conditions.
Me losing my virginity.
I promise you, sex is not at all unattainable for nearly anybody. Hit the gym 2-3 times a week, shower every day, wear deodorant, wear clothes that make you feel good, actually put yourself out there without being scared of rejection and don't be a creep. Trust me man, I'm a literal cave troll on the attractive scale and I used to think the same way as you until someone told me the same thing and I tried it and found out it's actually pretty simple.
America actually doing something about mass shootings
Me getting bitches
My baby letting me sleep through the night again any time soon it seems.
You cutting your own head off, then mailing it to a 145 year old man in Indonesia, who happens to have the same birthday, down to the same year, as you, but it happened 7 years ago. And he walks your head back to you, but as time goes in reverse. And then when you get your head back to your body, you punt it and actually hit the moon.
Offworld Colonies by the 2020's.
Getting messages from random
You getting bitches.
that me and you get love
Me living to see the tricentennial of the United States.
a logical contradiction
A girl sliding in my dms here 🙂
My nephew beating me at chess.
Us accidentally falling to another planet while the earth is rotating
Me getting a girlfriend or getting my first kiss
time travel
Leading a happy and fulfilling life. I don't go looking for trouble but somehow, it always finds me .
Me getting a ternion
me feeling pain in my balls
Finding a blue ball in a box filled with only red balls.
The the character from the most recent character wiki page I visited coming to visit me irl, and thank god because it was some fucked up children's book character that reminded me of Hitler but combined with ancient fucking Rome.
Quentin Tarantino directing a Marvel or DC Superhero Movie.
England winning the world cup
appearing 7 on a regular die
The economy being worth 0 dollars in every other countrg
flipping a coin and it not landing on heads or tails without rigging it
Stepping on gum while moonwalking upside down with no cloths on
Anything ever having a 0% chance (paradox moment)
Me living to 200.
Time travel....if we ever invent we would know as we'd come back to tell us
10 million dollars appearing in my pocket.
A 100% perfect match of a past moment in time
Me being able to finish an interrupted dream that I actually enjoyed
Consistent rain in California...😶
My bosses boss leaving before I do.
my dad coming back from the grocery store
World peace
Anything good happening.
9/11 Part 2
Immortality.