Does anyone else have an inflated sense of personal responsibility ?

  1. As someone whose stress and trauma response is mostly fawning, yes 100%. You’re not a monster or even a bad person if you can’t or don’t want to be there for everyone. It’s okay. Your empathy is beautiful but you also have to take care of yourself.

  2. Yeah, i actually even kinda did something like that (donated bone marrow to someone in need and missed 1 week of school for it). It doesn't hurt me to help others though, i'd say, what hurts me is that i feel like noone else is doing anything like that. Studies show that personal responsibility is declining, so we probably take on too much responsibility and others tend to exploit that. I can protect myself from the exploitation, but i still feel very lonely with my values.

  3. I have combined an inflated sense of responsibility with an inflated ego, so that, not only is it my job to fix the problem, I am the only one who can fix the problem.

  4. Crushing guilt and obligation that lead to suicide ideation. Then I realized others didn't feel this like I do. I got therapy, but I need to "let go" as a near-daily practice.

  5. Thank you so much for sharing your technique. This meaning of the word „responsibility“ never clicked for me until now. But it makes absolute sense. This was enlightening.

  6. Yes!I worry about everyone. I have always felt extremely responsible for taking care of my niece and nephew, who my brother abandoned to start a new family. I felt a lot of guilt because I couldn't afford to offer their mom financial assistance. I feel responsible for keeping all the kids around me safe.

  7. For me it mostly happens at work. I'm at the lowest pay grade for my job but I feel like it's somehow my fault if shit doesn't get done. This is reinforced by upper management, who pushes "accountability" while not themselves being held accountable. Oh our project is late and it's my fault the company didn't hire and train enough people to do the job and didn't manage time in such a way as to get the project done in a timely manner? Yeh. My fault and now we have weeks of mandatory overtime because we at the bottom "fucked up" and weren't team players tho every one of us participated in the voluntary overtime..

  8. I struggle with this too. People like us are wet dream of a corporate. People who willingly clean up other peoples shit and not complain. Chances are you feel that you are not worthy enough to ask for a raise like me ?

  9. I used to have this so badly bc I had to in order to avoid abuse from my spawn point. It's taken a long while and a lot of practice to unlearn this.

  10. Yes. It sucks because it often takes me out of a headspace where I could actually be helpful or available because I feel so much pressure to help people and please them. Instead of being present, I’m paralysed by my own empathy and can’t reach out. It’s so frustrating and makes me feel as if I’m a terrible person. The most liberating times are those moments where I can be aware that other people are on their own paths and don’t ever have those same expectations of me. If they do, it’s a warning sign that I’m not with a safe person.

  11. Yes, you're absolutely right. I have tremendous issues with uncontrollable sense of empathy that caused a major depression that I'm still struggling with despite medication and therapy. It's like every person in pain is somehow my personal failure that I should've prevented.

  12. I did and it's beyond dreadful. Half of my life I would often think deeply about something to do for someone else rather than try to find something else to do for myself. i feel so extremely responsible for things or people that I never even knew I never had any part in causing or never knew was never actually my business to take care of.

  13. Yes, I’ve always been empathetic and my trauma response is mostly fawning so, I’m bad. I have some friends/family members who really push my boundaries and I find myself hiding from them rather than be assertive.

  14. I used to, but I've had years of people trying to legally hold me responsible for their mistakes and failures to the point where idgaf anymore. I no longer play the "claim the blame" game anymore with people.

  15. Yeah, it might be the main factor that derails my sense of self control. I don't allow myself to feel pride for it because I feel it's a hard-wired defense response and not legitimate good character.

  16. Ugh, yes. I think I had kind of a savior complex as a child protecting my abusers, then it was externalized to everyone else's stressors: friends, my husband, the highly dysfunctional organization I tried to keep afloat single-handedly. When I confronted my abusers, finally, the obligation shifted to my own needs. It was momentous to make the shift by owning my victim story and losing the victim mindset. Phew! So glad I got out of that toxic dysfunction.

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