What do you find to be common misconceptions about your types?

  1. I’ll go first by saying that it’s a pet peeve of mine when I see people saying the core fear of a Four is “to be ordinary or like everyone else”, because it’s wrong. The core fear of a Four is that they believe there’s something fundamentally missing in them that others have (or that there’s something wrong with them, or that they have no identity). That’s where the envy comes from — why would Fours even be envious of others if they were afraid of being like them? Of course it becomes a defense mechanism, when you feel constantly othered and isolated, to build an identity around that, and then you get the famous “I’m not like everyone else”, but that’s a consequence, not the core belief.

  2. Thank you! Im a four and my motivation is to always be true to myself, authentic. Not to be unique as it says. Does that end up making a person 'unique' at all costs? I guess but its inaccurate to say thats my reason. Also i dream and strive for everyone being able to do the same and follow their truest self; so how is that me wanting to be different than everyone? Its really upsetting how terrible our representation is. (Edit: punctuation)

  3. i've always seen people say the core fear of a four is being insignificant/lacking identity (like you said) but i guess maybe that manifests itself in the (in)famous unique-ness of fours.

  4. Intereresting! I always thought the identity (or pieces of) was what 4s were looking for... (maybe just going off my own disintegrations lol), So if our identity makes us who we are, it also makes us unique so they end up blurring together. But I see that the idea of it being the shallow wanting to be unique thing as a core would be annoying, like saying 1s want to be perfect is like... no.

  5. Ye my 9w8 friend is really crass, verbally pushy, kinda insensitive, loves teasing people, and will get away with anything she can. She has a very questionable history. Her 9 core is glaringly obvious, she doesn't care about most things in life and is content with simple pleasures. It's hard to motivate her to action and she sees other people as getting worked up over silly things, trying too hard, etc.

  6. YES. In fact it took me ages to figure out I was a 3 because all I ever saw was like "3s never rest and never have fun because it's all about work work work all the time." I just didn't think I was disciplined enough to be a 3.

  7. A very common misconception about 6s is that we are constantly anxious, clingy, scared, etc. (can manifest in different ways depending on if you're phobic or counterphobic but the stereotype is the same). Yes, we can be anxious--we get worried a lot about the world around us! But healthy 6s can be confident, prepared, and calm leaders. I find that my many many plans and potential backup plans help control those worries and make me feel more at peace, because I feel that I am ready to handle anything bad that could happen. 6's anxiety is often seen as a hugely negative trait when I see it as a positive at times. We are ready to protect and defend, keeping the ones we love safe.

  8. Preach! I feel like 4's are often misrepresented in youtube content. I never relate to the 4 shit, but I relate to the 4s in my life - if we ever talk - and if we trust each other enough to open up.

  9. I do see a lot of this!! I actually had a very hard time understanding Sixes (and how it could be thought that half the world were Sixes???) until I found some sources that did not describe them as anxious, scared little things.

  10. I think in general people are drawn to the idea of consistency, and like traits in people that are felt to be predictable. Which is ironic to me, because a lot of the reductive criticisms of 6's seem to follow a similar skepticism believed to be held by 6's.

  11. When it comes to these contents and figuring out things about other types, people naturally focus on what irks them until they develop empathy for others’ struggles. The things that define type are the negative qualities mostly, and talking about how they affect us is a way to learn. So lots of types have negative content out there about them, I notice it with all the types somewhat equally. People just don’t understand your mental struggle when they do that, and they may not understand why it’s so hurtful to you either and therefore it feels more hurtful than what is said about others, but I think it’s really all the same.

  12. That 5 are robots. 5s have emotions, it's just hard to focus on them and it doesn't feel comfortable being controlled by emotions.

  13. Common misconceptions: Bullies, crass, rude, loud. The unhealthy 8s definitely are, but healthy 8s are forces for good and positive change.

  14. For ones, I get frustrated when people imply pushiness or a need for things to be my way as a general quality. I don't care what anyone else is doing, how anyone else is doing it, or the consequences they are creating for themselves unless they ask for help/input or we are existing as a team. And in a team setting, as long as you hear my concerns and consider them/respond as such, I rarely am ever insistent that we do it any one way as long as said concerns are addressed in some other manner.

  15. I hate that people think all 4s are sad/depressed and self important. I didn’t discover the enneagram until I was healthier, so I see the unhealthy 4 traits in my past self but haven’t identified with them for awhile. On the outside I am pretty positive and easy to get along with. If you get to know me my darker side comes out in times of stress and in my sense of humor/interests, but I have basic social skills and won’t tell you about how depressed I am or start talking about dark stuff if the time/place is wrong. I also have always loved helping people and always been known as the “therapist” friend that everyone comes to rely on. 4s are self ABSORBED when unhealthy, but it’s because they worry about themselves, their impact on others, and are extremely self conscious and depressed, it has nothing to do with thinking they are better than others. If you google healthy 4s they are the most empathetic, appreciative, and accepting type, and they thrive on connection, yet these traits never get talked about. I’ve even been told that I can’t be a 4 because I’m not depressed all the time as if the years I’ve spent in therapy trying to better myself somehow invalidate my identity as a 4. I hate all the stereotypes that come with every type, but those two personally affect me the most.

  16. As an 8 I have a rocky relationship with 4s, but I’ve wanted to like them and know what is good about them. You gave a great answer and restored my faith in the type. Keep being awesome.

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