Well guess I won't ever help then

  1. Oh, that’s my mom. I carpet cleaned the whole house and it took a full week. And she came back and screamed at me for minute things that don’t matter. I even had to call ahead before she came home and begged her to not be mean. She still was mean.

  2. I cleaned the whole 3 story house unprompted as a teenager, first thing she did was tell me I missed a spot behind the garbage can. You can bet I never did they level of work in her house ever again. Now she calls me her biggest disappointment for getting the covid vaccine :) and insinuates I’m a terrible parent for vaccinating my son. I only tolerate her anymore because she has my teenaged severely autistic little brother under her care and I want to get custody of him eventually, preferably without a legal battle.

  3. No offense, but your mom sounds like a bitch. If I were in your place, you'd better believe I'd trash the house, then walk out and say "You should have appreciated what I did!"

  4. Not necessarily. My parents weren't narcissists but this was exactly the kind of BS they did all the time. They just had higher than reasonable expectations because they really didn't understand children aren't adults in miniature form and have limitations on what they're capable of. Still sucks, but it's a different beast.

  5. Or they didn't notice. I remember the same thing happened to me when I was younger but my mom was never a bad parent to us. She praised me when she finally noticed and said sorry.

  6. I used to have a list of things to do after school. One day it was ‘put away dishes, fold laundry, sweep floor’. A pretty easy list, no problem. I came home with a couple friends who hung out with me while I did the chores. I even did a few extra things as I went along. Then I said “watch this” and emptied the dustpan into the garbage but left the broom next to the can instead of putting it in the utility closet. Mom came home soon after, saw the broom out, and yelled about how I never do anything around the house. She was further mad when we all giggled.

  7. This is my mother as well. I would do some cleaning pretty often. But she was OCD about things and if it wasn’t done exactly to a T how she wanted it was personally offensive to her.

  8. When I was in middle school my parents went out while us kids stayed at home. Before my parents came back, I swept the floor, wiped some furniture, made all the beds, etc etc. I wanted to surprise my parents and make them happy. But when my parents came back, they got upset because my little brother hadn’t taken a shower yet and it was already so late. When they scolded me and my sister for being irresponsible older siblings, I cried. It was so devastating, and it wasn’t even something I did.

  9. It's funny to me how many of these kinds of posts remind me of vivid experiences that I always thought I forgot or didn't even know happened until I remember them.

  10. even though its resolved now its normal for parents/people to react like that because they start getting really stressed when they come home and you/someone didn't do what they asked so it causes stress and anger so they didn't mean to yell at you it was stress causing it--------if you don't understand I can explain it better and I'm just guessing and I don't know for much of a fact I just understand someone getting stressed from somebody not doing something simple or what they asked earlier or something also don't come at me I'm just saying-

  11. One day you scold your child for doing a bad job despite their best efforts and 20 years later they have to do group therapy with a bunch of stranger on the Internet because you never said sorry.

  12. I feel this in my bones. Core memory: cleaning the whole house, doing laundry, and starting dinner while my brother played on the computer and laughed at me- "She's gonna be pissed no matter what you do!"

  13. Yep, I am just like your brother... I used to try and please but got scalded anyway, so the lesson I learnt was; why bother trying if the end result is the same anyway? My gf moved in (we didnt really have a choice and are saving up to move out together) and has a hard time dealing with this fact.

  14. This was my mom one morning when I was cleaning the kitchen. She found the only 1m² surface I hadn't cleaned yet and complained how I hadn't cleaned it, and then she wonders why I feel so dejected.

  15. fr once i finish cleaning something my mom will look around for something else i should do complaining about how lazy i am when i have 2 other siblings who dont need to clean shit and she just lays in her bed doing nothing

  16. I woke up in elementary school age and started cleaning the kitchen, organizing things, etc. my dad was so proud and flabbergasted. When my mom came down, “look what RVAFoodie did”. She gave a hmph and said “it should always look like this”. Okay last time I’m volunteering

  17. This so much. It never matters if you decide to go above and beyond, it only matters that you could have done it yesterday too. Nothing is ever enough.

  18. This is why I never cleaned unless I needed clean clothes or something. I do chores, I get lectured. I dont do chores, I get lectured. If I'm being lectured anyway I might as well enjoy myself before the inevitable scolding.

  19. The really sad part is that you did it in the hope of gaining some sort of affection from your parents. Children require the attention because they intrinsically feel it's link to their survival. It was the absolute best plan little you could come up with, and it still didn't work. I'm so sorry. Please have this internet hug.

  20. It's a paradox. Since you clean it no one thought that the floor is dirty so they shrug it off. But if it's indeed dirty they would be angry since you didn't clean it. You loose both ways

  21. When you take your family out to dinner at Morton's Steakhouse and all your mom can say is how much she could have made all that food at home for. Not surprisingly, it was the last time I took any of them out for a nice Christmas dinner.

  22. Hey I found my wifes Reddit account because this is her response to everything I do to be helpful every single time

  23. My first girlfriend's mom was exactly like that. It was heartbreaking to watch her clean the whole house, but not get time to make dinner and then get horrible backhanded compliments with intense venom behind them. I'd do my best to help her get stuff done in the house etc. cook, clean and things like that, but it was never enough for her mom.

  24. Story of my funking life. Dad gets confused, when I’m putting a pan away he thinks I’m taking one out. “Don’t bloody make a mess” he says. You literal motha fucka I just cleaned the whole kitchen. Ya’ll made the mess, you don’t bloody make a mess how bout that?!

  25. Me wanting to sweep just to sweep. My mom yelling at me asking me what mess I made that I’m having to clean up. And she wonders why I hated it when she stared at me while I did even minute things.

  26. Every time growing up. I stopped doing anything unless she asked, because unless she asked for it done, she didn't care I did it

  27. I read an article once that made the point "don't punish behaviours you want to see" (about people in general as much as parenting). Sounds so obvious but I think we can all cast our minds back to being a teenager and coming down for dinner just to have someone say "Oh look who finally decided to join us! Didn't you hear me calling you??" or whatever. A la classical conditioning, you're much better off to reward a "partially correct" behaviour. It's a good thing to keep in mind with parents, coworkers etc too.

  28. Or when she tells you to clean the house on your day off from school, but you'd rather spend the day playing video games, and only remember what she told you after you hear the keys in the door...

  29. I honestly lost my breath laughing at it, was struck so funny by how small the cat is and how impossibly hard it would have been for it to get any cleaning done, but still get called out by Mom.

  30. At one point I just started antagonizing the shit out of them when they were being unreasonable. Making remarks like "Oh yeah, I guess the dishwasher unloaded itself then." or "Sorry I did *insert chore here* for you. i won't be doing thata again."

  31. Legit, not only did my dad do this but also if he saw you do one chore he would stand there and start dictating all the other chores you should also get to. Like the concept of you have spare 10 to 15 minutes, you can get a chore done in that time, was foreign to him. And then he would get pissed off when you tell him well, you don't have time for all the other chores he just asked to be done.

  32. Literally anything I try to do for my family. This is why thanksgiving with my cats is so nice 🙂 just turkey and hugs, no criticism, nitpicking, or berating

  33. Although they are not the best, my parents are also not the worst. As I've become older, I've had to create limits and maintain some space, but overall, I'd say they're a wonderful aspect of my life.

  34. One day on summer break in high school, I woke up and had a spike of energy and decided, "Know what? I'm gonna clean the house." And I did. Every room. Surfaces, vacuumed, dishes, even threw out all the expired stuff in the fridge and pantry. Took me all morning and a small chunk of the afternoon. After I was done I was absolutely wrecked, so I decided to take a nap. I woke up to my Dad in my bedroom doorway yelling at me for sleeping all day and not doing anything useful with my summer and that it was time I got a job.

  35. My mom's like this. I just stop what I'm doing and walk away, leave things as they are and refuse to continue. If you berate me while I'm doing something nice, I'm not gonna continue doing that nice thing for you.

  36. I had a habit of cleaning while my parents were gone, then telling my younger sister to take the credit because my parents were usually hard on her. Any time my dad actually caught me doing the work, he would snicker and say "wow, you're actually useful for something" or "I can't believe you actually know how to clean." It got to the point where even "thanks" or "good job" felt snarky and backhanded, and now as an adult I hate compliments and will often cry or be angry when I get them.

  37. Yeah it wasnt enough that you did it, you had to do it their way, and if you did something wrong you might as well have not done anything at all, since theyre going to redo it all while bitching at you.

  38. you should replace “husband” with “a new husband” in my humble opinion. nobody deserves to be screamed at for some furniture placement and laundry. man is trash

  39. ehh i think when its your mom and u're a teen it's kinda bad, what u just said is waaaay worst imo, but idk shit about relationships so i may be wrong.

  40. Oof. That brought back a distinct memory of cleaning without being asked— living room, dining room picked up, dusted, vacuumed, etc. Mother came home and not a single mention of all that I did… but mad that nobody did the dishes.

  41. This but instead it was just that I'd never do it "right". So then I'd stop trying and instead get berated for not doing anything. Couldn't win. 🤣

  42. I spent two hours cleaning up before my folks got home and did a good job. Then I get into a pissing contest in front of my stepmom with my dad about how I’ve done nothing but lay around the house all week they’ve been gone. I leave the house speeding out of the driveway and don’t come back for an hour, don’t speak to him for another day or two and get into more trouble.

  43. This post and the comments make me sad because they're so true. And my mom refusing to acknowledge what she did was wrong, and then gaslighting me instead, is just one of the reasons why I don't want to talk to them anymore.

  44. When I was in high school, I had cleaned the entire house and went the extra step to wipe down all the cabinets and furniture. Mom came home and immediately accused me of smoking weed. Why else would I clean at 15 years old?

  45. Oh yeah this was my mom. Tried to clean on my own many times as a kid and I always got an earful because I was imperfect. So I just stopped doing chores afterwards, all through high school. I only cleaned after my own stuff.

  46. I was asked to just mop the balcony. I did the additional work to also scrape off concrete and pait remains from renovation. The response I got was "Couldn't you also wipe the railings?" Bitch I already did more work than I was asked to do and you still complain?

  47. Parents don’t realize that that’s how you end up with kids who never clean and therefore adults who never clean. Who knew yelling at your kids was terrible parenting?

  48. My mom did this once and I just dropped everything and just grabbed my skateboard and walked out the door . When I came home I asked my mom if she was overreacting and she said yes and o said to her next time you have a bad day tell me about your day instead of taking it out on me she agreed to that

  49. This. I cleaned the house while my mom was at work, swept, vacuumed, did the dishes, dusted, straightened up, and I forgot to put the calculator on the desk away so when got home she stormed around the house and dumped things out of drawers and demanded I pick everything up again.

  50. This was my ex-wife. Any chores I did could be nit-picked and then she'd get on me for not doing chores after she ranted about how if I was going to "do them wrong I shouldn't do them at all". Ya, honey there's a disconnect here. Me missing a bit of dog hair under the sofa when sweeping and vacuuming isn't the end of the world like you make it out to be.

  51. My mother would say that's not how you do it and re do it. I would do it the exact same way as her the next day and she'd say that's not how it's done and re do it. After years of this happening I realised no matter how I'd do it she would say its wrong even if I did it right. Along with a shit ton of other stuff I soon came to the conclusion Im just her punching bag

  52. And then one day you become an adult and get married and think I’ll surprise my wife and do some cleaning and she not only criticizes what you haven’t done yet but the way you’ve done the cleaning you’ve completed and then continues to criticize your mother for doing such a poor job of teaching you to clean. Good times lol

  53. "You missed a spot over here" my mother often says when I'm cleaning and still in the middle of cleaning, then walks away without a single hint of a thank you coming

  54. My mom used to get mad at a shitty job we did and how we were too lazy to do a good job.. so she would say nvm I'll do it myself and eventually we caught on...

  55. This is me and my gf right now. I don't touch anything because if I do I've fucked something up, but also if I don't then I'm 'not helping'. I don't think I have anything left to offer.

  56. It might be time to have a good talk to her about this. It's not really respectful of your effort or feelings and I'd feel horrid if I did this to my husband.

  57. Happened whenever I would cook dinner for my parents. My mom would start judging every little thing I do, making me not want to cook for her.

  58. This is exactly the reason why I don't like helping my mom with anything. She guilt trips me for not doing anything, and then when I actually do help with something, she hyperfocuses on everything I haven't done yet... I have to physically restrain myself from telling her to fuck off

  59. My ex for real used to do shit like this. She was an absolute slob, showed no respect for the house or our belongings and trashed stuff left and right, never really did anything to help clean up, but got on a high-horse if I ever left a mess.

  60. Sounds like my mom she will complain about the specks of dirt that her superhuman eyes can see that the rest of ours cannot see.

  61. THIS IS SO ME, there's one tim- NO, EVERYTIME i did dishwasher, sweeping whole house, folding a truck of clothes and doing a bit of laundry, there always a time where i forgot to wipe a bit of dust on the table. That's when my mom criticizing me and start comparing me with our neighbors kids, WTF!

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