All I needed was a headshot and it sent me into a serious spiral of depression.

  1. Everyone is prettier with a smile. It’s so trite but the energy you spread into the world is what makes a person beautiful. Your genes may be your mothers but you are 100% you. Congratulations on your award!

  2. It’s funny you say that. At my workplace we were required to mask for 2 solid years. Only recently could we go without if we were vaccinated. Suddenly one day I noticed one of my coworkers (an older lady) looked…different. I couldn’t pinpoint it until I asked someone else and they pointed out she was no longer wearing a face mask. In that 2 years, her face noticeable aged (as I’m sure did mine).

  3. I highly recommend reading I Feel Bad About My Neck: And Other Thoughts on Being a Woman by Nora Ephron. Will it make you feel better about your neck? No. But it will make you laugh.

  4. I think about all the people I know who didn't make it this far, who never got to worried about their neck because they were worried about their cancer. I think about how very lucky I am that I made it thru my own health crisis, how lost hubs would be without me, and me without him. And I still cry sometimes about plucking mustache hairs. Or anything really. At this point, a cute saying on a post it note will start the waterworks. But what matters is that we are here, and we all have a bunch of meaningful stuff in our lives and some sage advice to offer people.

  5. I'm the same. Watching a friend die in her 50s of cancer completely changed my outlook on aging and on other bodily appearance-related imperfections. My body works, and that's more than good enough for me. I wish everyone could live long enough to be an old lady :(

  6. I keep reminding myself of this. One friend died at 36, another at 50 last month in a fall downstairs. I hate my double chin, but…

  7. We all need to realize that a picture or a video is a momentary thing and doesn't truly represent what we look like IRL. Things are frozen and highlighted in ways they definitely are not when you are an animated human. You are soft, warm and 3 dimensional. These things are all attractive in a way that media isn't. Edited to add: There's nothing wrong with taking steps to help your neck too! It's a balance in taking action and acceptance.

  8. Very true. I'm an introvert and with the pandemic and all I've been looking for online friends in discord. It was fine, but when everybody's posting selfies and videos of themselves.... well, I succumbed to peer pressure and then deeply regretted it!! :(

  9. Ohhhh I feel this. I lost some weight recently and was super proud of myself but my neck looks old WTF!!! If anyone has a good neck cream, holler.

  10. Nothing about aging bothers me except my neck and jaw line. Microcurrent helps but it’s a commitment to regular use. I may get a lower facelift later on if it keeps bothering me.

  11. I'm going to mention a little beauty device that I love. We were chatting about this on a thread specifically about these devices. I have one called ZIIP and there is another one called NuFace. I believe they utilize the same micro current technology.

  12. Thanks for posting this! How did you decide on ZIIP va. Nuface vs. regular facials vs. surgery etc.? I’ve seen a lot about Nuface and it seems to have a lot of positive reviews but definitely consider getting one that works.

  13. I feel this totally. Last year I went on the Keto diet and have lost 30 pounds so far, so I'm feeling great. But occasionally make the mistake of taking a picture or video of myself and it crushes my ego for a week or so because all I can see is someone's grandma. The aging skin, the lines, my neck is shortened from arthritis damage, and thickened from the past weight gain.... I need to have some sort of device that shocks me when I get the idea of taking a picture or video of myself so that I don't do it.

  14. Right? It's the photos I can't get over. In a mirror, I feel 'ok'-ish or look like me, and maybe on video I can at least adjust my chair and lighting. Photos are some level of what the hell happened. Some parts are ok - I don't mind a wrinkle or a grey hair, but my face changing from collagen has just shocked me.

  15. Congrats on the 30 lb weight loss!!! 👏and I can totally relate to wanting the ‘device that shocks’ back to your senses lol ~ ugh and I hate that at age 46 if I talked about this with someone older than me they’d say appreciate what you’ve got now cause it doesn’t get any better ☹️

  16. Sometimes it's just a call to evolve into a new aesthetic and develop a deeper love for who is in the mirror, here and now.

  17. Look into face yoga. It sounds so stupid, but there are some simple exercises you can do that REALLY make a difference.

  18. It’s insane just how our moods are affected by seemingly trivial things! I am SO critical about myself, but if I were to meet you in real life, I would NEVER criticize any element of your person! I’d notice your beautiful eyes, or how you laugh, or virtually ANYTHING but your neck! But MY neck is a different story LOL!

  19. I see my mom every time I look in the mirror. My mom passed away 13 years ago and I'm approaching the age that she first fell sick. I look so much like my mom that my dad said it's hard to look at me. I don't get depressed, but this has certainly changed me. Menopause stole my joy. I am only 43 and I have no spark left... And I stare in the mirror looking at my mom wondering how the hell she did it.

  20. I empathize deeply. I was fine with some parts of aging, but aging during a pandemic has been even more dramatic and stressful. When I feel bad I try to go for a walk and remind myself that I am generally healthy and lucky, but it's difficult especially when you're in a profession where youth is so important.

  21. Yes, we are all going to be okay. Seriously we just need to support each other and laugh when we can. Maybe cry a little too when we need that too!

  22. When I'm feeling bad about my appearance, I find a photo of myself from 5, 10, 20 years ago and see how amazing I looked, and remember how I thought my thighs were too fat, or my cheeks too round, or whatever I was down on myself about in that photo. I don't think I've ever had a photo taken where I didn't immediately find something wrong with myself in it. But now I look back at them and see I was absolutely beautiful but just didn't see it then. And I know in 10 or 15 years I'll look at photos of me today and feel the same way. Typing it out like this makes it sound kind of depressing but it really does help to know however bad it seems now, in the future I'll wish I had what I have now.

  23. I’ve started using red light therapy; I am just 3 weeks in or so, but I feel it may be making a difference in the way my skin looks.

  24. Oh yes, I also have a LED mask. I've probably been using that for about 5 years. It's helped even out my skin tone and made a huge difference in my pore size.

  25. I’m having a tummy tuck in June and plan to have my neck and chin done in January. Menopause wreaked havoc on my body. Aged me several years.

  26. Oh, the neck thing. I’ve always been on the bigger side, and I’m fine with that, except why why why can’t I be like the fat girls who still have a neck? Why does my body store fat in my neck? Put it on my hips, my ass, I don’t care. Let me have a jawline.

  27. This is me, too. The jowls and chin destroys an otherwise normal face. I'm looking into getting surgery too. I'm 58 and tired of looking in the mirror.

  28. i could've written this...just this morning looked in the mirror and was like WTF who is that?? and it comes down to that damn neck skin...changes an entire look...maybe i'll try that skin tape when i'm feeling extra insecure/vain...my aunt uses it w great success tho i've not asked her how comfortable it is...

  29. I feel like I've aged 20 years in the last two. The last two years have literally eaten me alive, I guess. I have gained about 20 lbs, and look like I'm about 60 instead of 50.

  30. I completely sympathize! Trying to embrace my changing body but I can’t help but think about getting surgery or Botox to reverse my lines. It’s a mental battle for sure.

  31. Preach! I have to get a headshot for work next month and it has me all twisted! I never was one to wear makeup, now I’m trying to find a foundation, it they either make my skin look super greasy or flakey, and I have a good skincare routine finally! The deeper wrinkles, the bags under my eyes, my face looks fatter. I feel your pain. I know people out there would think this is petty, but when your used to feeling and looking a certain way, then you no longer do, it a really brings your confidence down! I always thought how I would had an f it attitude like my mom did/does, but nope. You are not alone!

  32. I think if you focus on hair, eyes, and lips, it will draw attention away from the areas you don't like. (I'm also trying to figure out how to take a decent picture.)

  33. I just did the CO2 laser on my face, will definitely do my neck when the time comes!!! My dr has a newer laser and the downtime was very minimal, not like the older CO2 lasers.

  34. And collagen! Love it! It made a big difference in my hair and I'm sure it's contributed to my skin and joints. I got my 80 year old father to start taking it because he became self conscious about his hair after always having a great head of hair. Not only did it start thickening up but he actually started getting some dark pigment again in the roots of his hair.

  35. I was feeling just like you until one day I thought, “F this!”. Now when I look in the mirror in the morning, smile at myself and compliment myself on some aspect that I think looks pretty good. It has actually worked! Some mornings I will literally start laughing at my reflection and it starts my morning off in a positive way. Self love is even more crucial at this stage of my life and I need all I can get.

  36. Same here. I just feel so old. I always looked young for my age until I hit my early 40s. Now I'm 50 and look like a troll without make up. My thing is under eye bags and brown spots. It's just so depressing the way we women age.

  37. I don't know. I know a lot of older women who are just beautiful. And some VERY hot women in their 50s who are still getting men in their 20s and 30s (if that's your preference, haha).

  38. Surrendering is not the answer. If my pants stop fitting I don’t just say oh well time to buy bigger, I fight to loose it. If your neck bothers you look into simple things like yoga or other exercises that will tighten your neck muscles.

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