I feel like I’m in a deeper layer of consciousness than others

  1. I definitely relate to this. I feel like I see the “gears and wires” under society and the world and it makes me feel really weird when others don’t

  2. I actually have a writing from eight years ago, when I was seventeen, about how I’m swimming in the ocean but then I realize that I am the ocean. Really does feel like existence and experience goes beyond this carbon web.

  3. I can relate so much, and i think i used this knowledge as a defense mechanism to boost my self esteem, i felt like i was above everyone, not that im better person, but the one who has deeper insight into the universe. I even felt i had some mission in this world. For me it was very strange that so many people dont have questions about things like existance, they look like robots who were programmed to do what they do, like they all were plugged into matrix and im the only one who knows that..

  4. I think about this a lot as well. How can people go day to day not thinking about the fact that they're a random consciousness that didn't exist before centered behind a pair of eyes having to put together all their senses and thoughts, or thinking about the fact that they can think at all which is like stimulating possible outcomes to things without actually doing them, or instead of wondering if there's any purpose to all of this and if we truly evolved from nothing, instead they just accept whatever church/government/media tell them is moral and important as if any of those things don't represent consciousnesses of people who are no better or worse than you and me.

  5. All of this. It ties into some of my quasi-delusions about being sent here and having an important mission or a deeper communication with the world.

  6. I feel you on this, too. Like at work when my boss is coming down on my coworkers and me, I act like I’m concerned but deep down I’m so detached and unfazed by their scare tactics . Do they really think this sales role is the most important thing in life? I will actually get deep into my thoughts on whether or not my boss and coworkers are “faking it “ too, if that makes any sense. Sometimes I dissociate too badly, I can’t play into their fear tactics as well and truly look and seem like idgaf.

  7. I assume you're a logical thinker, constantly ruminating in your head what one ought to do, why one ought to do it, and why one ought to do what one ought to do.

  8. Yeah. I think it's caused by being significantly far down Klein's paranoid-schizoid position, a position we all go into at times but usually aren't so deep within nor primarily stuck in. Nothing deep or better about it, just gives us a different perspective or vantage point while also being very limiting in other ways.

  9. The two aren’t mutually exclusive. Fragmentation and lack of integration is what I’m describing, and experientially it is as I’ve described while simultaneously being the mental illness.

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