Don’t get married, fellas

  1. I was expecting a Vitamin D joke... got Vitamin Red Pill instead. So do I call poison control? Do I induce vomiting?

  2. I'm confused...why would you not pay child support regardless of what she makes? Child support is to pay for the expenses of the kids your swimmers brought into the world. Why should 1 parent pay all the expenses? Also mommy and daddy bought?? Hmm lol. If he was being forced to pay alimony I would understand, but any male who has an issue with helping to support his kids is immediately garbage. Looks like she upgraded.

  3. There must be something that he is not revealing. Usually with 50/50 custody, the party making less money will get some child support. He glossed over that she makes good money but didn’t mention if his income is significantly higher. If her new man is not her new husband, then his income is immaterial.

  4. How much money he makes, who is paying for insurance, who pays for day care, how much physical time is each parent responsible for the kid? Legal custody can be 50/50 while physical custody is 60/40.

  5. 100%, I knew guys like this that were total assholes to their wives and kids and when they "lost" everything they start bitching like nothing was their fault.

  6. It doesn’t even matter if that man is her husband. My husband’s ex wife doesn’t get to see what I make when she asks for more child support because I am not obligated legally to that child (although I’ve obviously made a commitment to care for and love the child as my own) or party to their divorce/custody/support arrangements.

  7. European here -- do some US states really look into the reason(s) why people divorce when it comes to ruling custody of the children?

  8. At 0:26 he says "Mommy and daddy buys her a fucking house, I'm losing my house". Pretty sure what he means by that is that his soon to be ex-wife had her parents buy the house they were living in... meaning that it isn't his house to begin with.

  9. 100% correct. My child support declined each time I made more money. In my state it’s literally based on a calculator. I consider it very fair, despite seeing my support cut by more than 50% since getting divorced.

  10. I think that’s a fair assumption however, I am in a 50-50 situation with my ex. My kid switches houses each week for the full week, she has done this her entire life (10 years). We live in a one bedroom (kid gets the room) apartment built off of a house on a very busy road. I am a stay at home dad with disability income from the VA ($1500 p/m). She lives in $1 million house on the other side of town where I drive my daughter to and from school. Her mother runs a very large very popular nonprofit. Her husband has a very large salary. I have to pay her child support. I am on food stamps and our kid is on free and reduced lunch at school because of me. If I didn’t have to pay child support I could get off food stamps and pack my daughter better lunches. They are living the upper middle class American dream, while from poverty I pay them child support. Sure I can go to court and attempt to pay less but then the custody agreement is up for discussion, and I could risk losing significant amount of parenting time with my kid, who looks to me as the primary parent. Losing parenting time would hurt her every bit as much as me, so I just can’t risk it. So yeah family court is very much fucked up.

  11. If he gets to keep the house in his name, she is “owed” the difference of what they have left on the mortgage and what the house is currently appraised at (not what they’ve paid down, which is a very important distinction in this ridiculous housing market). Also, the bed, the cost of a kids bed and double the clothes. Unfortunately, it’s a hell of a lot easier to be the one leaving the house.

  12. Damn, all states should be "fault states" in that case. No bitch (men or women) who cheats deserves to get a fucking dime. Pre-Nup all the way fellas/galls.

  13. He also days 'which is whatever I got it' in regards to his new living arrangements. Implying he can afford it no problem. And the 'house' was most likely mortgaged with very little principle paid so they are likely selling it off and splitting any profit. Which is also implied when he says her mommy and daddy got her another house to live in.

  14. Yes. I think too, people don’t understand what the law is and what it is not. It’s a series of contracts; break one and the law is a guide. It doesn’t mete out justice and doesn’t function to make everything fair. But yeah, he must make significantly more, because CS is determined by a calculator. It’s straightforward and gender isn’t a factor. Maybe she’s the one who insures the children.

  15. Maybe, it’s possible, but almost every similar story of fault and similar circumstances has a similar outcome. Family courts heavily favor women. That’s not really a groundbreaking statement.

  16. Nah. I believe his story. I have majority physical custody. Judge still has me pay child support. But because we split legal, she is obligated to pay half of medical, school or legal payments. But she still refuses. I bring this all up to the courts but nothing ever gets resolved. It’s actually crazy to hear but it does happen.

  17. Definitely getting an unbiased, comprehensive idea of the situation here folks, time to assemble the internet mob

  18. To my knowledge, no one pays child support in a true 50/50 split. Informally having the kids half the time does not count.

  19. Get a prenuptial agreement, y'all. State laws are not meant to protect you or your assets. Only a prenup will. Child custody is different (can't include that), but you can pre establish alimony (if any), future business earnings, etc.

  20. I’ve met dudes who claim their ex cleaned them out and then it turns out they got divorced because he was trying to sext teenage girls and the ex wife wasn’t even asking for much. People can be pretty pathetic sometimes.

  21. Yep, prenup. And if you didnt get a prenup, get a post-nup (yep its a real thing). My wife and I have one because even though i plan on being with her for the rest of my life, and adore her and i never want to ever hurt her -- people become unrecognizable even to themselves when they are broken-hearted. Take care of yourself and take care of the person you love -- get a prenup/postnup.

  22. When someone I know is going through a divorce, I’m more than happy to lend an ear for when they want to vent, but I’ve stopped taking sides, trying to draw conclusions, etc.

  23. I noticed that too. His in-laws buying his wife a house and her bf having a good job don’t really have much to do with the legal system. It sucks, definitely. But it’s not a systemic legal issue.

  24. I'm less inclined to believe anyone over the age of 17 ranting on tiktok about their relationship woes, especially with that goatee and tan line

  25. It’s really absurd that this myth of a biased-against-men legal system (as if any major institution is biased against men) persists despite being completely counterfactual.

  26. This isn’t even a controversial. The fact that this grown ass man is on tik tok making this rage baiting video in the first place, says a lot.

  27. Great comment, and I'd also add - people don't need to get married. If a guy bought into this redpill shit, I would recommend not getting married. Nobody is going to force them and we are all better off with those types of people working through their issues before inflicting them on spouses with kids.

  28. Just gonna mention the backlog of rape cases in every state because the system is rigged against literally everyone

  29. Yeh actually his vibe & bright red angry face spitting words is actually saying the opposite to me. But again, that's just a judgment based on basically nothing!

  30. He's making it sound like he's being victimized. As someone who got divorced just this year, all I can think is, "Dude, get a fucking lawyer. Go through mediation." Also, child support takes a while to figure out. There's usually a formula the state uses to decide it based on assets. Assets themselves have to be reported by both sides in the divorce process. Does he not know this? He would if he got a goddamned lawyer instead of whined on Tiktok.

  31. Why is this one of the few subs where people actually care about the context? I wish more subs were like this instead of just jumping to the conclusion right away.

  32. Holy shit I didn’t expect to see such a “based” take so highly upvoted. Was expecting to see stuff like “3rd wave feminazi SJWs are destroying (white Christian) men and western culture”

  33. The irony of critcizing bait when you start with "we don't know the whole story" followed up with "maybe he beat her" seems to be lost here

  34. Can I ask where that first statistic comes from, because according to the US Census Bureau from 2018, 20% of fathers have primary custody, and the majority of custody cases are settled out of court.

  35. I’m a guy. I have some sympathy with op due to some of my own life experiences. However I found your critique of the post insightful, interesting and thought provoking. Thanks for taking the time to post a balanced and considered response, you’ve given me food for thought… we need more posts like this on social media platforms.

  36. Yeah, maybe if he offered more detail and didn’t just use the blanket statement “the system is rigged”, I’d be more inclined to take his side.😜

  37. Exactly. This is the kind of rage bait shit that pisses me off. Blame the person responsible (if this is even true) which is your lawyer.

  38. Yep-where I live in E. Washington, that seems to be true. I, obviously, can't speak for every person/case, but every couple I know who went through a divorce, whoever filed(man or woman), got the majority of what they wanted, right or wrong, every single time.

  39. I don’t understand how 50/50 custody is being fucked over by the legal system. Does she stop being the childrens parent even if she cheated? Also if he has proof she cheated he can present that in court and might be afforded more custody

  40. My mom must had a dick, she was hit a few time by my dad, he cheated on her, started a whole new family while I was 6 month old, she got nothing, he left and leave nothing, no house, no alimony, no child support, his family and friends disowned us, decades later, after everything my mum got cancer and die a few months ago while my dad lives off the government and leeching off my brother.

  41. I am so sorry for you... My condolences, my best wishes, my genuine sorrow go out to you... I hope things get better soon. I am terribly sorry that happened...

  42. Washington State here. I divorced my husband because he was an alcoholic who refused treatment of any kind. I didn’t want anything, not the house, not half his retirement, not child support, nothing. Turns out, that wasn’t for me to decide, the State decides. He and I agreed I’d put the money in a savings account. She grew up and used it for college. I wish people could let go of their hate and focus on the child, the one who has no choice in any of it.

  43. I don’t know why this post is here. The family court system might be faulty but there’s not a structural gender bias. Essentially what this dude is saying is that he should get more custody of his kids and more property in the divorce because his wife cheated on him. Family court isn’t designed to punish people for being bad partners in that way and it’s patently obvious why it shouldn’t be. 50/50 is how it should be unless one parent is unfit and he has nothing to say about her fitness as a parent. Also, whoever posted this with the title to not get married is a moron because this dude will be compensated for part of the value of the house because they were married. If you break up without a marriage and leave a home then your options are more limited, custody and property wise. This is at least true to the original spirit of this sub because it’s cringe as fuck and the more angry complaining this guy does into a camera on social media the worse it’ll get for him.

  44. Or the mother of the child. Whoever earns more pays the larger share of child support. My friend receives child support from his ex wife because she earns more than he does.

  45. My ex didn’t get a lawyer for custody and I did. Our son was a year and 3 months old. I had him every single day since I birthed him alone in a car. His father went days without him all the time. He took me to court because I got a new boyfriend (I left him when our son was 3 months old). Even though I had a lawyer and he didn’t, and he had never had my son alone overnight, he still got 4 days a week with him and I got 3. I don’t have anything negative in my past, no records, nothing.

  46. Something tells me his fb pfp is him in his truck, wearing a hat with an all black American flag on it, and wrap-around sunglasses.

  47. I have doubts about this guy being a perfect father that he claims to be. Putting a video in public cursing the mother of his kids is not exactly the best thing a father can do.

  48. Divorce, especially when you have kids, is ugly. Marriage still generally benefits men more overall and when divorce happens women’s income falls more greatly than men’s. There is a perception that women make out better than men in divorce but that’s simply not supported by the data. But sure, things probably do suck for this dude.

  49. And the thousands of (much, much more common than this angry dude’s situation) real life cases where the man leaves, the man is the cheater, or the man deserts their family and moves around, changes jobs often, tries everything to get out of paying child support or things they are supposed to pay for, and see their kids less and less as the years pass … which led to the term “dead beat dad”. It’s a common trope because it happens all the time.

  50. Where? I know women are less likely to go to prison and get shorter sentences than men for the same crimes. Definitely seems like the legal system favors women actually.

  51. There’s definitely loads to this story we don’t know about and we just hear this guy’s story, which he has come to the conclusion that if you have a penis, you shouldn’t get married……interesting.

  52. 9 times out of 10, if a is guy getting on social media to rage about what a bitch/ gold digger their partner is, they’re leaving out A LOT of necessary context.

  53. She’s Makes good money and he makes good money and the parents buys the house I think there’s more to the story you’re not saying.

  54. Funny, but yeah the system is rigged. I experienced it myself watching my mom get divorced. When you have an abusive spouse who took all your money for your 30 years of marriage and you finally scrape together enough independence and save enough for a lawyer, he quits his job to avoid giving you spousal support. She’d given up her whole career to raise us and look after him (he never lifted a finger around the house), and he told her he’d come up with disability papers and would rather be homeless than give her a penny. Wtf can a person even do in this scenario? Courts were so backed up it would likely take 3 years to come to a settlement, and he kept saying that if she left the house he’d say she abandoned it. They settled on half the value of the house, and 50% of his debts because they were married while he gambled on bad investments. Yeah, the system is bullshit because it rewards anyone who is enough of an asshole to abuse it. It’s not a man/woman issue.

  55. I hear this all the time and I don't buy it. That is one angry dude and Ill bet money he gets angry a lot. I'll bet he got angry in front of the kids. I'm sure he got angry with the wife. He probably got angry with his lawyer and with the judge too.

  56. Reminder that second wave feminism tried to erase these policies but right wing “anti feminists” fought against them because they believed the bioessentialist rhetoric that women were the home makers and men always had to be the earners for their family.

  57. Can you explain this a bit more? It’s fascinating and the first I’m hearing about it. Which policies did the feminists try to get rid of?

  58. Hm….this story seems….something. Something isn’t right. Multiple scenarios can be happening but we need more info. I wouldn’t take this guys word for what happened.

  59. Discount Murr from IJ really making his point by pacing around his apartment like a deranged serial killer. He looks like he has the meat sweats.

  60. I feel sorry for the guy. That sucks. However, saying it’s rigged against dudes is laughable. Historically the vast majority of societies going back millennia are intensely misogynistic and deeply patriarchal. Even in the US, right now, women are actively fighting to keep autonomy over their own bodies.

  61. Family court is the perfect example of how misogyny negatively impacts men. I wish more men saw this and thought, "Hey, maybe some shitty men stacked the deck; perhaps we should make it more egalitarian?"

  62. Child support is a formula based on how much each party makes and how often the kids are with each parent - otherwise, he had a crap attorney.

  63. It's so interesting looking at this comment section and one of the original videos and seeing how drastically different they are

  64. This often serves as an entry to a lot of alt-right, hyperconservatice propaganda. However, if we're honest we gotta admit that it was men's subjugation of women that put into place laws that ensured women get more custody and money in divorce settlements. Women being forced into the caregiver role now means that mean are excluded from the role post-divorce, and it's not because of feminism or anything like that, but actually at its core the direct result of traditional gender roles and misogyny.

  65. He’s right . My wife left me and the kids to move and work abroad yet she was entitled to every penny of the child benefit despite both kids living with me! Now citizens advice have claimed i should’ve received both the benefits and maintenance but I’ve left it too late to contest!! I’m sorry I was busy working to pay for my kids to argue

  66. Yep I know plenty of guys in the same position, I even know guys that have their kids full time and still have to pay

  67. If I had a wife that cheated on me I’m chopping my dick off and surgericly implanting it into her and then report her and have a happy life. Or just commit arson

  68. Same thing happened to me , she give full custody to me and she was saying she will get them every other weekend and she made less then 1000 less then a year and my girls at the time where 2..7..11, and she was ordered to pay 167 a month for Child support and I get a few bucks a month not the 167 , because she lost her job and got hooked on speed and jump from job to job and then she try to kill her boyfriend and went to prison for almost 6yrs and I don’t know child support stops so my mom would take my kids to see there mother like 4 times a year.. now remember I started to have kids with her at 15 and me trying to the right thing and be a so called man, all I did was fuck up my future.. the woman get out of jail and get free everything, as I take good care of our kids .. 2 went to college and one was my trouble child but she still doing good now.. but any way my ex went to school for free because a welder and in a good Union making more money then me with a pension and she got this job at 35 years old and now I want to retire at 62 but can’t because she gets half my pension, but I go to court to stop it and tell them I never got child support from her and they say that’s two different issues.. so I get fuck because I did the right things in my life not saying I’m perfect but I keep grinding for my future and my kids future but I’m the one getting fuck.. all I want to do is retire in peace and I can’t do that now.. oh that’s for got to tell you this , the ex would treat my mom like shit till this day and my mom is a Saint.. this ex doesn’t talk to anyone in her family and only one of my kids talk to her.. this why I tell my kids know the person you sleep with and get to know there family if the family is off a little bit that means the person who sleeps with going to have trouble because that’s what they are used to.. I hope the last part makes sense

  69. My ex wife cheated on me and left. I filed for divorce got an attorney and everything. Jumped on top of things first before she had a chance. Now I have full custody of my kids. She gets them no less then one weekend a month and pays me child support. It's it hard raising two young boys on my own fuck yeah it is but totally worth it

  70. Similar situation for me. Luckily we were very young and broke so I didn't have much. But she cheated on me. Tried to get full custody of our kid. I had to fight in court for months. Finally got 50/50 custody. Still got assigned child support even though we both made the same money. 6 years later though I got full custody and she moved out of state. I didn't even ask for child support. Just get the fuck away.

  71. funny, my dad had multiple affairs, is a drug user and a drunk, and it emotionally abusive. ive watched him break my moms phone when she tried to call for help after he was drunk screaming at her that he’s going beat her.

  72. After going halfway through with a divorce and finding out what would happen it occurred to me how many of my dude friends lied through their teeth and did not tell the whole story. Shit my wife would have had to take half my debt and I would have got half her 401k. That’s 50/50. If a spouse gets all of the others “shit” which can happen there is a reason. It’s usually douche’

  73. If you acquired things together while married, she paid for half of it so half of it belongs to her. Child support isn’t for her, it’s for the children. If she makes “good money,” then she must still be making less than him bc otherwise he wouldn’t have to pay child support—so he’s conveniently leaving out some details I’d say.

  74. No offense, but this is a one sided complaint. My boyfriend, who has a dick, has full custody, and gets child support from his ex. Look, it may be unfair for this dude. For all I know, he’s amazing, but it’s not rigged against everyone with a dick. My ex had 50/50 with no child custody issues. Cheating, depending where you live doesn’t have an impact. Sorry. And that goes for a man or a woman. I get he’s upset. But instead of bitching on the internet, take the L and do what you can for the kids and let go of your wife and the bitterness around it…he’s just making himself miserable.

  75. Been divorced with 4 kids that live with my ex cheating spouse. The divorce court’s really stick it to the fathers and they don’t give a crap if you become homeless or go down from the punitive support orders.

  76. Yeah just get a prenup. I hear young people talk about how they will never get divorced so they don't need it, but getting a prenup actually helps relieve some of the inequity that comes with financial issues like this.

  77. I mean all we have to go on is this dude’s obviously incredibly biased rant. Cheating on your spouse doesn’t necessarily make you unfit for joint custody of the kids. Hell, he made the case for her to have joint custody when he said that she has a nicer house and a better paying job than he has.

  78. This guy's is putting his well being ahead of his kids well being. So the fuck what about his ex. So the fuck what about how shitty she is. You fell for it dude. Accept it and move on. Him paying child support maybe could be looked at but still those funds (hopefully) will go to taking care of the kids. Been there done that myself. Does no fucking good to dwell on this shit. If she was a terrible parent the judge wouldn't (again hopefully) award joint custody if he was against it. This dude needs to fucking chill

  79. Kids or No Kids, Amazing Lawyer or Shitty Lawyer, the Courts do favor women over men, you will never know the truth, they don’t like Competition, agree with you Man, just went through the whole shit show, no kids involved Thank God, but I would suggest getting a different attorney who is a female. Wish I wouldn’t have listen to my Ex when we talked about No lawyers and just do Mediation. Never trust or fall for their Antics. And Change your address with the Courts ASAP. Save all text or emails and even record calls or in person contact, if legal in your state or country. Keep your nose clean and stay sober till it’s all over. There will be time to party and let lose later.

  80. Couldn’t agree more. Legal system screwed me over on domestic abuse charges even after she confessed to making up the story, nothing happened to her while I was stuck with huge legal bills. Men are screwed. Don’t get married and don’t take them to your home either

  81. Damn as a woman I feel sorry for you.. if you have 50/50 custody you should not have to pay child support as you are already supporting them when they are with you. People like her give real woman a bad name.

  82. The legal system is rigged to make sure that children are taken care of and it is rigged in favor of the mother caring for the kids and making sure the man pays for that care and it is rigged for the mother to have custody of the kids. Do you know why? BECAUSE MOST MEN ARE FUCKING DICKS WHO STICK THEIR DICKS IN WOMEN AND LEAVE THEM TO RAISE THE KIDS ALONE AND WITHOUT MONEY AND WOMEN HAVE TO WORK AND CARE FOR THE KIDS BY THEMSELVES. So..quit sniveleng crybaby. I paid my child support for a daughter I never saw after her Mom split. I raised my other daughter myself. So...you are paying for the assholery of men towards women. If tyou think you got shit to cry about maybe you should try being a woman in this society or even better...be a black one and see how the system is rigged.

  83. All my friends who’s marriage ended with an affair it was the woman who cheated. Women can be pieces of shit, too. I’ve met many awful mothers (elementary teacher) and so many great dads. Assuming men “are fucking dicks” is a generalization that’s complete bullshit. Does the man love his kids and do the kids love their dad? That’s all that should matter.

  84. Exactly, custody numbers (overall, not in court, where men who fight for custody overwhelmingly get it) favor women for childcare because men have spent millennia saying it's all women are good for and deliberately opting out of childcare as "women's work".

  85. Now imagine his tears if he had to provide 100% custody and 100% financial support like most single moms.

  86. She cheated and ruined the family so he probably wants more custody? Since you know he can be trusted to be stable while who knows when the new guy will be the one cheated on and then now they have to have a third new dad

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