I cannot stand my child and I hate being a parent.

  1. i have a mom like this and from a very young age i could feel her feelings of resentment and it led me to being very emotionally immature for a long time because i did not understand emotions at all. please get some therapy, because trust me, your daughter knows you’re only tolerating her

  2. This. I went through the same. I’m 31 and the pain still kills me of knowing my parents saw me as a burden. I am adamant in telling people to have children only if you REALLY REALLY want to. I have two daughters now and they are my soul food. I feed off their love and vice versa. Please OP, seek professional advice snd consider seeking alternative guardians for her. The resentment she can feel from you both is only going to get more painful.

  3. Same. I'm in my 20s and I remember when I was 6 and my mom was asking me to do something I didn't want to do. She was getting angry about it and I got angry back and said, "I don't like you!" She got down to my level and said in a mocking voice, "Well, I don't love you!"

  4. I grew up with a mother who didn't like me and I felt it. I tried most of my life to get her approval, and nothing worked. It wasn't until the last few years, in my twenties, that I stopped trying and had grown a lot emotionally. Kids can tell when you don't like them, even if you're trying to hide it and still trying to show them "love", they can sense something is off and will react as a child will.

  5. Yeah I feel you man. I’m the same until I realised through therapy that it’s not my fault. But for the longest time I always felt like I need to prove I’m lovable, that I’m good enough. Such a tiring way to live.

  6. I was just gonna say that's it's likely the entire reason behind the acting out and misbehaving.

  7. Same here my mother really didn't like children. I don't know why she had me and my brother but both of us are very emotionally immature. I have BPD and we have both had to have a lot of psychology in our adult lives.

  8. So many parents who GENUINELY care do an awful job. I’d love to believe OP but I have 0 faith that someone who literally hates their child isn’t doing anything wrong. The kid isn’t acting out “for literally no reason”, she’s acting out because nobody likes to be around people who hate them.

  9. I was going to say this, too. Kids can pick up on this. Frankly, I don't think some people are mature enough to have kids. This person can't even form a sentence. I feel bad for the kid feeling unwanted.

  10. 100% this; you said yourself talking to a bunch of strangers helped. Therapy is just talking to an unbiased third party, whose trained in conflict mediation. You can’t get out of where you are, but they might be able to uncover some coping mechanisms you haven’t been able to come up with in the meanwhile. They might recommend help, like a nanny or the kid seeing a therapist, if they’re defiant beyond what’s expected of their age.

  11. Yes. This. These feelings are valid, because they’re happening, but they aren’t the norm. Talking to someone would be helpful.

  12. This. It’s an understandable but unhealthy feeling that you’re having. I have two kids and am NOT A KID PERSON. Venting to friends isn’t going to give you coping mechanisms to make it to graduation. Don’t white knuckle your way through this. There are tools (and medication) to combat the aggressive anxiety and absolute shit feelings you’re feeling. (Insert MJ get help meme)

  13. I agree You need a therapist - w the baby- she knows you don’t like her. You’re not mirroring her needs. You sound very immature. I’m sorry. Please go to a therapist. With the baby.

  14. This is a big thing we do working with children with behavioral issues. For the ones that want control, giving them a small choice within the demand works tremendously. The sock thing is a great example. Another would be giving her choices at dinner if that’s something you struggle with. “Do you want 3 pieces of chicken or 4?” Just make sure your goal number is the smaller one.

  15. Similarly, many parents don’t realize how often they phrase a directive as a question, causing the child to think they have a choice when they do not. For example, saying, “Are you ready to eat dinner?” instead of “Come, it’s time to eat dinner.” Or, “Are we ready to go?” instead of “It’s time to go.” Never use a question when the child has no choice in the matter.

  16. Teacher here. I use this all the time, works pretty well. Try to give choice whenever possible, and always make sure the choices are only things that you actually want. Never a "bad" choice if that makes sense. Maybe also look up "love and logic" and the author L.R. Knost, OP. Don't hesitate to ask for help. Kids can definitely be really tough sometimes, but if it gets to a point where you "cannot stand" them (ie a four year old child), you're doing something wrong, and it's okay to admit that. You should. Means it's time to do something different, and you'll eventually rediscover your love for her.

  17. Yes, and, everything in life isn't fun. If OP doesn't understand that he does need professional help. A child can tell when a parent resents them and this will have lasting effects throughout her whole life.

  18. 100% parenting is hard, and yes it sucks sometimes, even for those of us who love it, it still sucks and is hard. Therapy will help with dealing with the stress of doing something you dislike day in and day out. Therapy isn’t “I’ve got something seriously wrong with me, please fix it”, it’s more “hey I’m feeling this, you got any tips on how I can make things not feel like this?”

  19. I think my dad felt like you. He never said it to me… but I felt it. I didn’t understand it or really even see it until I was an adult and in therapy trying to understand my anxiety and why I kept fucking things up in my life. A lot came back to how I never felt wanted by my dad and how I felt like I was a burden who ruined his life. My constant people pleasing and crazy need for validation from men was because of that and really messed me up. He was not abusive or cruel… he just didn’t really want to be around me or care for me like a dad should. Please seek professional help to deal with these feelings.

  20. Yeah, the relationship between a dad and his daughter is crucial. I never knew how much I needed it until I lost it.

  21. I’m an occupational therapist who works with children. I imagine you’ve probably tried everything already but if you’re searching you are more than welcome to message me and I can see if there are things to suggest. Parenthood can be very taxing and you don’t need to go it alone x

  22. Yes, this one. My daughter was very similar to OP’s when she was 4. Like absolute refusal to do anything I told her, she’d throw tantrums at the tiniest little things constantly, and she’d come at me swinging and try to actually hurt us.

  23. Your work cannot be appreciated enough. I wish you all the fulfilment of your wishes, all the luck and goodwill of people, success in your work with what you do and much much room for everything that gives you the feeling that you belong to a present happy place!

  24. I came to say the same. In my line of work, lots of coworkers complain to each other about their students. It’s all I hear from most of them. My wife and I refuse to talk like this. We’ve got a great relationship with our students. The coworkers who complain all the time? Not so great relationships. If all I ever hear from you is negative, what do you think your students are hearing?

  25. Okay so first off Those little fuckers smell fear. She can tell you don't like her. Secondly, if you want more yes's you need to give more options. Thirdly, get some therapy pls.

  26. those little fuckers smell fear did you hear me say this in real life? Because I stg I’ve said this before. I can’t think of a more perfect description for a child tbh. OP’s daughter likely knows how to wear her parents down because of exactly this.

  27. Imagine this experience every single day and being able to tell that your parents don’t like you. For a little kid who is wholly dependent on these people that would be insanely scary. OP get all of you to therapy. Play therapy for kiddo, figure out a whole host of new ways of disciplining and working with her and then also separately see someone for yourself to work through these feelings

  28. Ok so my parents for a fact hated me. I felt every minute of it. I day dreamed constantly that maybe I was adopted. I wished they would get divorced—anything to change the situation.

  29. Same! And what finally made me let go of the idea that I could be adopted was the reasoning "if I was adopted that would mean they chose to have me here, which makes no sense because they absolutely would rather I wasn't here. So I'm clearly not adopted"

  30. Have you ever thought your child is reacting to you and her mother's feelings for her. Kids sense things through body language and she might have even overheard conversations. Look into parenting classes. If you change how you are acting/reacting to her she might change her behavior

  31. My baby sister is 5 and she acts a lot like how this kid is described towards my stepmom and dad. I babysit her often and she tells me that her mommy and daddy don’t like her. It’s really sad but she knows exactly how they feel about her and she reacts to it.

  32. "I can't stand my kid." "I show her love." She knows by the look on OP's face when she walks in the room what the deal really is.

  33. I totally agree, this was my first thought!!! Even if they are faking being "nice" or "good parents" I bet that child totally picks up on how they really feel.

  34. Yep. My parents didn’t want me (my father especially, he’d get drunk and tell child me that I was the reason he was an alcoholic, many instances of such behavior). Aside from their explicit words, their everyday actions also made that damn clear. I didn’t act out, I retreated inward. My heart goes out to unwanted kids, idc how they react to the lovelessness. They feel it, and fuck their awful parents for having them if they had any sense of doubt about being a parent. Fuck you, OP. Your kid has my sympathy, but you don’t. You made your bed. I’m sick of parents coming on here and bitching about choices THEY made. I can’t imagine how you make your kid feel.

  35. yup my parents didn’t want to be parents, they were together 20 years before accidentally having me. I told my mom as young as 3 years old “you don’t like me.” i specially remember that moment as a toddler laying in bed with her. I always had food on my plate, roof over my head, and clothes on my back. but, that was it. it was clear I couldn’t come to them with my problems because they didn’t have the emotional capacity to care. I never received affection or was told I love you (only very very rarely). As an adult, the no affection is so damaging. i have no idea how to open up to people, I don’t do well in romantic relationships because I don’t know how to express my feelings. most of the time I don’t even know how to identify my feelings. I was also never enrolled in any sports or activities, they didn’t want to take me and have to spend time supporting me at a game or something. although my parents took care of me, I knew very well my whole life that they didn’t want me and if they had a choice they wouldn’t have had me.

  36. Your kids brain is changing drastically at their age. Imagine millions of neuroreceptors destroying and rebuilding themselves all the time. This means your kid is going to feel emotional and be illogical. Their desire to assert "no" is also a cognitive sign that your child is seeking independent thoughts. Your job is to help her guide them in a healthy way. It sounds to me like you are overwhelmed, and that happens, but to hate your kid? Do you think she would not pick up on that energy and thusly internalize it in her very sensitive mind? Perhaps family therapy is needed as understand where you child is at developmentally and why they are that way could be useful. Your child may also be dealing with an undiagnosed condition if she is having tantrums all the time. But you really need to work on the hate part. It's not healthy no matter how you cut it.

  37. Exactly. It’s not just because she’s trying to be mean to him or his wife. It’s just her brain. The way she is related to needs to change, not her.

  38. Agreed with everything. Especially the part about hate being unhealthy no matter how you slice it. It sounds like OP and his SO just expected their child to be born with a complete set of grown up sense of morality and cognitive functioning. Which is absolutely ridiculous. It’s our jobs as adults to meet our children where they’re at. Not the other way around. And certainly not infants and toddlers. I might be down voted for this, but reading this post truly upset me. The OP is getting a lot of benefit of the doubt and encouragement on here, which is cool. I for one though, feel like there’s entitlement coming out the ears from him. I’d be far more sympathetic if the child was older and this was something that developed over time based on the kid’s behavior over time as she were actually growing up. But this guy literally hated the experience since the day she was born and channeled it towards her. Who is practically still an infant. I’m sorry but I’m not that big hearted as most of the good people here.

  39. Bro, you think your kid can't tell that she's not wanted by either parent? She can tell and that might be contributing to her behavior. But also if you don't even want or like your kid you just aren't gonna be able to parent as well as someone who does.

  40. a lot of this comment section is sad: “finally some one telling the truth!” “was like this with my kids” like this is so sad. why are these people having kids? if it was an accident, get an abortion. If you can’t/don’t believe it’s moral or whatever, put it up for adoption. If you can’t do any of that, why the FUCK did you have a kid? accident or not that’s on you, DO NOT blame the kid for that. This kid is going to grow up knowing it’s resented by the people closest to it and going to have serious mental health issues most likely. poor kid. OP and wifey are pretty shitty people

  41. At this age I thought my son was bound to be the devil. I actually worried that I had been responsible for unleashing a monster on the planet.

  42. The teachers at my Boys school christened my third and last child (also a boy), Satan in a babygro! Bang on, he was a horror but now at 28, he’s a lovely, kind, young man. There is hope and light at the end of the tunnel!

  43. If I remember correctly, there's a developmental change that happens around age 7, like a child is able to think more abstractly, and less in selfish terms. I definitely found it to be true with my two. Once they got to the age of 7, I really got to know them as young people.

  44. Ive posted somewhere else before that I wouldn’t have another kid unless they are 8 starting out. OP, it does get easier and the kid can become a joy. Just don’t give up on her or make her feel unwanted.

  45. It's weird cause OP is trying to make it seem like his hatred for the kid is down to her bad behaviour yet he said he never wanted her from day one.

  46. Imo once you decide to have and keep a child, your life is no longer 100% your own. I understand and relate to children, especially teenagers, being tough to live with. But you window of opting out has passed and you owe it to your child to be a parent. In addition to your getting counseling maybe you should go in for family counseling. What you describe is typical 5 year old behavior.. I saw it in my 2 children and my 5 year old granddaughter acts thr same. Children need a parent as a guiding force to domesticated them :-)

  47. Your kid knows y’all don’t like her. That’s probably why she acts up. 4 is plenty old enough to sense resentment and disinterest.

  48. My father didn’t want children. He didn’t try to prevent them either. My father was very mean and cruel to me. I know he thinks he was being strict but making a child feel inadequate because they can’t reach perfection is horrible. If you hate her as much as you say you do, let her go. She deserves parents that love her.

  49. Guess what OP? My parents felt exactly the same way about me. One time when I was 5 years old I found "I hate my kid" in my mothers search history. Now I'm 20 years old and I still remember that day very vividly! I also have no relationship with her to this day and probably never will. If this is not what you want, you need to go to therapy ASAP

  50. Dude, I’m sorry. All kids deserve to know they’re loved. When you’re 5, there’s no way to empathize with adult frustration, and in no way should you have been able to find evidence of it.

  51. Tbh feels a lot like you’ve brought this on yourself. She can tell you don’t like her and she’s just responding as anyone would to someone they know dislikes them. Definitely a you problem, not a her problem. She’s a kid.

  52. Being stressed and down 24/7 is absolutely enough to warrant professional help. You don’t need to be on the brink of suicide to see a therapist. And honestly it absolutely sounds like you need some help

  53. This is dark....so glad I had a loving mom...FYI kids can sense your energy no matter how hard you try to cover it up with smiles...that's probably why she treats you like that

  54. He probably means they provide food and shelter and stuff. But emotional support? The most important? Probably none. This child will grow up issues.

  55. Kids are very perceptive. She probably senses that you don’t want her around and acts up like she does to get attention.

  56. You hate being a parent it will bleed into your parenting I don't care how much you think you are doing what's needed. Parents that love and want their kids still have trouble raising them but you whom wishes for them to be gone well careful what you wish for you might just get it.

  57. My guess is your daughter can feel that you and your wife resent her. Children aren’t dumb, they’re extremely receptive and they’re tiny human beings with autonomy. Maybe spend less time whining about your choice to become parents when you didn’t actually want to, and start learning basic child education. There are tons of online resources you can check out that could help you manage your child’s behaviour in constructive, loving ways. Big Little Feelings is a good one. They do offer courses and their Instagram page is great. She is 4. She’s not horrible, you’re parenting horribly. It’s your responsibility to work through these issues and support her.

  58. This is basically a direct reflection of you. When I was reading your story all I could think was that it’s obvious the kid feels this way because of the environment that they’re surrounded with. I mean who else could be responsible for the way that your child ask besides the parents themselves? I really do suggest you guys take parenting classes or start watching some YouTube videos on how to effectively communicate with a child at the same age of yours. Wishing you the best of luck because that kid really does deserve two loving parents who are fully in it because at the end of the day you guys are the ones who brought this child into the world.

  59. Hi. I’m a parent of a 3 year old. I love him and I have gone through major depression over the past three years. I don’t think I want more children. It’s so hard and challenging. I get it. I mourn my old life a lot.

  60. I know exactly what you mean. I looove my daughter, she just turned 2. However, I realllllly don't want another kid. I feel so much pressure to have one, not just from other people but even from myself thinking I would be robbing her of an opportunity of having a sibling or how after my husband and I pass away it would be nice if she had a sibling to depend on etc.

  61. You’ve put this perfectly. Reading OP’s post hurt my heart for that child. She’s so young, of COURSE she’s going to have bad behaviors. I genuinely hope the parents seek help because there’s no way that kid isn’t going to feel their disdain on some level. I also don’t like how OP is framing this to come off as “I’m the best parent I can be, it’s the child’s fault.” I can completely sympathize with the stress and limitations that come along with parenthood, but what’s done is done and that kid deserves parents who take the initiative to understand her and trial-and-error their way through correcting her behaviors with professional guidance.

  62. She can totally feel the way you feel about her. She’s just a kid, you have a responsibility. Seek help. She’s not the problem.

  63. The formative years are the most important as far as developing attachment styles. And children are a lot more astute and observant than adults give them credit for. She knows he hates her. She may not be able to identify it, but it will manifest into something else (seems like it already has). Doubtful she'll survive unscathed, IMO. Source: my own childhood, those of others)

  64. Man, please get help. Both you and your wife. You should resent your own choices, not your kid. She had no choice in the matter. You saying you don’t need help is grossly incorrect. You are meant to have a bond with your child, despite absolute frustration. When parents don’t feel that bond and instead feel hate, that’s mental illness. That’s something wrong. It’s cruel to allow this continue without help.

  65. You don't need to be suicidal to need professional help bud, there are plenty of parental therapy/support services here in the UK whether that's through the NHS or through private companies - one being

  66. Lol so you can't stand to be around her but fault her for not being able to stand being around you and call it attitude. I wager your real feelings show through more than you want to admit.

  67. If your daughter is genuinely really nasty to you she may have a mental health disorder of some kind. Particularly if the household is otherwise stable.

  68. Sounds like she needs a lot more structure and positive reinforcement approaches to listening and starting to do age appropriate chores. This responsibility and structure can help her with the saying “no” and having a better attitude in general. That might help make the situation more manageable for you both.

  69. Why the fuck did you two have a baby?? She didn’t stand a chance from the moment she was conceived. Your statement that she has a good life is bullshit. Cos all a kid wants is the love of their parents… that’s it. Both my children were unplanned, and sure, kids are little shits.. but my god would I never be without them. You both shut the idea of parenthood down, not opened your mind to it. That’s why your own child is a inconvenience. Every damn child on the earth says no to everything.. it’s literally what kids do. Horrible parents breed horrible children. Fuck, there’s literally couples who cannot conceive and are heartbroken, and you two have a great gift and see her as something that’s stopping you living your life. This is one of those posts that literally reminds me why I cannot stand the human race.

  70. Dude. Your kid is 4. Cognitively speaking, all humans are fucking sociopaths at that age. That you give your child no boundaries or consequences for their behavior is why they don't listen to you.

  71. Put her up for adoption before she becomes too attached. She deserves a family that actually loves her and you deserve to not have your health suffer from stress. Who cares about what other people say, they aren't the parents, you guys are. Do what's best for both you, your spouse and your child.

  72. Have you considered that your child has picked up very acutely how much you dislike her and acts out because of it? You can give your child all the things she physically needs but lets be real. She can tell when she comes home that you are not happy to see her. She can pick up all the verbal tones, looks, body language, etc, which show and tell her she is unwanted and unloved. Talk about pressure. Go away child but if you must be here, be perfectly behaved so I can ignore you easier. Possibly your family needs counseling to try to figure out how to parent in a way that is less damaging to your child.

  73. It gets better as they get older, as you can actually have a reasonable conversation with them. She's not long out of the dreadful toddler stage, when they are bundles of emotions, and needs, and wants, and some kids are relentless.

  74. Until they get to toddlerhood 2.0… aka adolescence… there’s a nice sane stretch from about 6 to 11. Then sometime 14-15 they seem to regain their sanity if they have a good foundation…

  75. This is why people need to stop having kids because the child always ends up suffering the most because of dumb people like these

  76. I always thought it was odd how you need to go through testing and get a license for something like driving a car, yet when it comes to creating a whole new life, anyone can do so as they please.

  77. maybe you hate being a parent to a small child, here’s hoping when she grows up and becomes less annoying, you’ll be more content with being a parent, maybe even proud :)

  78. Highly disturbing. This kid was fucked the moment she was born. And we wonder how there are so many messed up people in the world…and you realize there are tons of trash people like OP here. This piece of shit said he knew it wasn’t from him since day 1….and then goes on to wonder why the kid is being a shit. Hmm perhaps because your psychopath dad hated you from day 1.

  79. First of all, it's not uncommon for parents to feel like this sometimes. SOMETIMES. If it's more than that, you might want to talk to someone (therapy). I felt like this more often when my child was smaller moreso than now at almost 8.

  80. Your child is incapable of being “horrible” she is merely responding to her horrible parents. You sound like an overgrown child frankly all maddy mad because he’s not getting his way. You are f*cking up your child - get therapy and grow TF up.

  81. I think the same thing. He hates his child because he is one. "She didn't do what I asked and I resent her." GTFOH with that bullshit. Learn to parent and be the grown up.

  82. My son has Aspergers and it's been a difficult road. The sleepness nights, the worry for his future, and when he was about to go to high school (we're in the UK), I was dreading it as he really acted out in his last few weeks of primary school as it dawned on him he wouldn't be going back after the summer. Thankfully his high school has a support base for those with additional needs and he is thriving. His grades are great, and his teachers speak highly of him. He even got an award for good behaviour. These were things that I wasn't expecting, and I realised that this was so wrong of me.

  83. Reading this, I'm like does he live with me??? Cuz that's exactly how my child is and she's only 3. So much sass and back talk. Throwing things, dumping food and water on the floor, hitting etc. the list goes on but I don't hate her in the slightest. For me, the food outweighs the bad. You'll get there. Don't worry. Hang in there.

  84. Point B is so important. These parents play the victim to the children they chose to bring in. So fucking warped headed.

  85. I don’t really know how to be sympathetic nor empathetic towards your post here. On the one hand I completely understand the frustration of parenting. But you couldn’t stand your child, by your own words, since the day she was born. So something else is going on with you. And it’s not your child’s defiance “for no reason.” You want her to be empathetic towards you and her mother (at aged 4), when it sounds like neither one of you have felt nor shown it to her since the day she was born. Don’t start blaming her one little bit when you see her giving this animosity (undeserved towards her) back to you as she starts to get older. And don’t go looking for her to help take care of you and your wife when you both get older and may find that you, not her, will need her one day. I’m sorry if this was acrimonious but it really cooks my goose that too many have children who truly shouldn’t. Please listen to what everyone else is saying and do get therapy.

  86. I feel for your daughter. You can be a good parent all you want, make sure she has everything she needs, but there’s absolutely no way she isn’t picking up on you and the mother’s feelings for her and I bet it’s a huge piece of why she acts the way she does. Kids can feel that on a subconscious level.

  87. This is exactly why i didnt have kids. There is no way i could deal with it. Im so sorry you hate your life right now. Please get therapy! Having an impartial person hearing your feelings makes such a big difference. A parenting class or two with your partner will help too.

  88. If you hate it and you definitely will not leave her, then you need to talk to a therapist or counsellor and try and find a way to make peace or even find some enjoyment in your life.

  89. Yeah she may be little but she can feel she isn't wanted. That obviously does not help matters. That will change a child. I have lived it and it really screwed me up. And people are talking about giving more options. That makes sense too. Don't appear to be not only unloving but also a dictator. Yeah she needs to be able to learn to do things and listen and cope. She needs to feel love. The problem is absolutely not her. I had more to say but this is stressing me out. All this should be really obvious. To everyone.

  90. You say she has a good life, but you also say both of her parents hate being parents. You can tell your partner hates it, what makes you think your child can’t? Children are perceptive.

  91. I hear you! What helped us - babysitter on a regular basis (every/ every other Friday), full time daycare (9 am to 6pm). Weekend sport that will keep her busy and make her tired (soccer? Gymnastics?). And finding tv shows that are fun enough for kids and adults (cooking shows, not to scary sf movies). The good part is that it gets better. They are usually more fun once they are 8.

  92. I've more or less been a stand in parental figure for my autistic younger sister and the best advice I can really give is to slow down and think back to when you were a child. What were the things that made you happy? What were your wants and needs? Children are just mini adults who have limited emotional control. They're not as dumb as a lot of people make them out to be. I do suggest seeking professional childcare help in one way or another. Just keep in mind that this kid will grow up and whatever impact you make now will solidify their thoughts and feelings about you forever.

  93. I never wanted kids growing up, but my husband did and we compromised by having one. That awful feeling, the horrible, hopelessness of it all. I cried myself to sleep every night for a long time because I wanted my old life back (still do) and if I could go back in time, I’d change that decision to have a kid. We have no family or support system close by, so it’s been a little extra tough for us. I’ve met a lot of other parents that secretly hold this feeling too. I’m with you, having a kid is the single most stressful thing I’ve ever experienced in my life. However, she’s seven now and I’ve noticed that as she gets older, the communication is better between us and that has made my life just that much easier. I also mentally celebrate every small thing that gives me some sort of freedom back, such as her ability to buckle herself in the car or get dressed on her own. My kid knows me as the grouchy parent, but I never miss an opportunity to let her know that she is loved and she is turning out to be a pretty great person.

  94. A child’s behavior at such a young age directly reflects the parenting. Maybe y’all should take some more classes. There’s a lot more to having a child then just putting a roof over their head.

  95. You absolutely do need help. Being suicidal is not the only reason to get therapy. You are miserable and you hate your kid, who did not ask to be here. At 5, there is no way she does not pick up on how you feel. This is going to get harder the older she gets. You need to sort yourself out, immediately. You think she is hateful now? Haven’t spent a lot of time with kids in puberty as an adult, have you?

  96. You’re a total fucking asshole for posting this in the first place. You brought her into this world you piece of garbage. Get some therapy for yourself and your partner You should have thought of this before you had her. I feel sorry for your daughter. She’s not even 5 what kind of monster are you? You sound like a selfish asshole.

  97. Honestly? Tough shit. Should have thought this through better. I'm sorry that your kid has parents who wish they could return her to the store for a refund. And yes, believe me, YOUR KID CAN TELL YOU FEEL THIS WAY ABOUT HER.

  98. Lmao she is a 5 year old. What else do you expect? All kids of her age behave like this. Poor poor child. Being unwanted as a child is among the worst things ever. She'll face trauma for the rest of her life now. Seek therapy for the sake of humanity at least.

  99. Other tidbits of great advice in this post already but one silver lining is that you're only 31. And while you may not realize it now that means you'll actually be "free" again at an earlier age and get to enjoy that time more. I have friends who love the fact that their kids are all functioning teenagers by their mid 40s, they get to be free and have fun on their own and not be retirement age.

  100. Not the popular thought, but if you and your partner feel this way why don't you give her up? You sound absolutely miserable. Maybe you have some relative or friend who'd like to adopt. Or maybe someplace far away.

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