My husband cheated on me at a work event. We have a one year old daughter.

  1. Came here to say this. Girl, I’m sorry but he’s a moron and this isn’t probably the first time either. I also love how he blames the other woman saying she was “obsessed” with him lmaoo

  2. He had to Google if anal can get you pregnant. Yes it can, it can lead to the baby factory an inch and a half to the front door.

  3. And the whole “she was obsessed with me & followed me into my hotel room where I blatantly let her give me oral sex and proceeded to sleep with her.” Yeaaaaa he’s a real smart one!

  4. It is super rare, but people have got pregnant from cum dripping out of their butt and into their vag. And now that I've written that sentence I'm gonna go scream into the void for an hour to forget it.

  5. I knew a girl who would shower if her boyfriend got a boner while they were snuggling because “she wouldn’t take any chances.” Lmao.

  6. Also bringing it back to him being a senior manager for a well known company. Who gives a fuck?! I hate when people base someone’s being on their job.

  7. Also, the answer is “yes” you can get someone pregnant from anal sex due to anal seepage but the likelihood is incredibly low (obviously)

  8. The husband said they slept together, but he may be confusing having sex with having a sleepover, or possibly nap-time?

  9. People make fun of this but it is possible even if truly extremely rare, it’s not impossible to something to get into vagina aftert anal sex. And it’s not a sign of a moron to ask questions.

  10. My thoughts exactly. Concerned someone can get pregnant from anal sex at 28 years old? Sounds like the definition of a moron. I’d be having doubts based on that alone tbh.

  11. This is the workforce though. Typically the smartest are not moved up. They are left in positions to work. Idiots and ass grabbers get get promoted

  12. This. I’m pretty sure he went raw and this coworker has no issues going anal to strangers. That’s a bad combo. Also, if you haven’t had sex with him since the incident, don’t. Make him go get the std test and give you a copy of the results.

  13. Ugh. I wouldn’t even be able to stomach looking at him. What a stand up guy. Couldn’t even tell you himself and has the gall to have an excuse. I’m sorry being drunk is noooo excuse.

  14. Honestly. And neither is “she was following me around all night”. Like okay, tell her to leave you alone, you’re married and not interested. But he didn’t. Sounds more like he’s blaming the woman, but we don’t know her side.

  15. I want to point out that he didn’t tell you and when you found out he blamed; the woman and his drinking. This is not how an adult that cares acts. Has he suggested therapy? Does he want to stop taking about it? Does he want you to “forgive” him and not talk about it? You’re not trapped, you can change your world and the bottom line is as long as you keep his dirty secret it’s going to eat you alive and give him a free pass. You need support from the people that love you and you deserve not having to keep his secret to protect him. He sure didn’t protect you did he? You have no idea what he’s done in the past, this is the first time you’ve caught him.

  16. He “appears” remorseful and openly told me everything that happened as I wanted to know every little detail that occurred. He told me the name of the individual (who is married and has a child also). He is willing to discuss it but I honestly can’t even look at him at this point. Thank you for your insight, I appreciate it.

  17. Yes! The fact that he immediately blamed the woman, you're a grown man take some responsibility. He's full of shit.

  18. As previous commenters have said go get a std test fast! Do you think he’s only cheated once? He didn’t tell you, you only found out because you saw his search history. If you decide to stay with him you should get counseling. I wouldn’t be able to trust my partner I’d always be wondering. You gotta do what’s best for you and your kid.

  19. That’s rough. Take some time to collect yourself. Get tested for stds (you really don’t know if this was really the first time) and figure out if you want to stay and work on it. If you do, it will take a lot of work and commitment on his part. It’s a hard road but it can be done. The fact that he blamed entirely on the woman makes me think he is a narcissist though, so it might be harder to get him to fully take responsibility for what he did.

  20. Thank you. He absolutely mostly put the blame on the woman and the only thing he could muster up himself was that he messed up and he’s sorry. Crocodile tears and all.

  21. Speaking to you like a friend- I have a hard time believing he raw dogged it during butt sex as a first time, sorry. They have been having an affair and I’m guessing most likely she’s telling him she’s pregnant…that’s why the search is there. He’s a complete idiot, talk about shitting where you eat. I don’t think I could forgive my husband for putting his dick first and livelihood second outside of just the cheating. What an idiot.

  22. 💯 definitely seems like more to the story. I’m sure there are people who do anal the very first time, but I wouldn’t expect many do. They’re totally having an affair. I’d be curious how often he travels for work or how many late nights he’s had recently

  23. Your husband threw the marriage away when he cheated with her! This women is his coworker they must’ve been doing things at work for her to be “obsessed” with him. Blaming alcohol & “her following him to his room” is a poor excuse for his infidelity

  24. Divorce him and demand child support. From your story, it doesnt feel like he feels any remorse. Its just an opps sorry, with following excuse that doesnt even make any sense. If you forgive him now he’d just continue doing so bcs he knew you wouldnt do anything about it.

  25. Adding on to say get proof of his infidelity before you let him know you are divorcing. This can potentially help with custody and alimony in some states and cases

  26. This is great advice for someone that already had a career before becoming a stay at home mom, but childcare is extremely expensive. If this persons situation was anything like mine as a stay at home mom, I stayed at home because the cost of childcare was more than I would have gotten paid without a college degree. Also without a job, all finances are controlled by husband, all money comes from his bank account. You are literally trapped, and unless she has familial support, it is impossible to do anything unless she wants to go to a women’s shelter.

  27. Tell your family. He didn’t protect you or your kid when he broke your marriage. Why are you protecting him and neglecting your support systems now? There is not happy ending of women that stay in situations like this. Take screenshots of what you saw in your phone and send them to yourself so you get the support you need from him after the divorce

  28. Yes he owned up to the fact that they did. He told her he didn’t have a condom so decided to do anal instead. What the actual fuck. He had a glimmer of guilt and just said nah fuck it let’s do it this way instead. Makes it even worse in my opinion.

  29. In my experience, anal isn’t something you do the very first go around with someone. Maybe that’s just me but I’ve never had a woman that was down for that, that it did not take years of dating or convincing. Sounds to me like this was not a one time thing

  30. I'd absolutely tell the woman's husband and see who the liar is. She will blame your husband for being in a senior position & taking advantage of her because she would lose her job if she didn't. You will find out who is obsessed with who then. It was not the alcohol, it was ego and a choice to cheat. Her husband probably wouldn't be surprised. He deserves to know. He could've of been exposed to an STD.

  31. This is most likely not the first time he’s cheated but even if it is can you live with him now? Trust him? I suggest you start making moves to be financially independent and get out of this marriage if you can’t trust him anymore.

  32. As someone who went through this only a few weeks ago, my advice is to get space from him. My now ex is also good at minimising responsibility and blaming others. For me, it was hard to forgive since he hid it from me and then tried to say she had thrown herself at him when he was drunk. Fact is, that situation could happen again right? If you cannot lay boundaries and walk away when drunk, unless you never drink again, which I knew wasn’t an option nor was it offered. Just came down to reliability and security. This wasn’t the only time he was unreliable or selfish, but this time enough is enough. You deserve better than this.

  33. If your husband is dumb enough to need to make that google search, I'm surprised he's made it this far in life. Fucking hell

  34. Don't believe him. Cheaters always say they were drunk. Next time he says he was drunk and she was obsessed, tell him that you're calling the cops on her for sexual assault, then watch him take it back.

  35. Honey it’s time to start being real with yourself. You got together when you were in high school, I am 100 percent sure he has showed you his true colors more then a couple of times but you being so into what others think brushed them aside because you didn’t want to look bad or him to look bad. He’s a piece of shit and more then likely this is not his first time. The intoxication is bullshit as well as this person being obsessed with him. Why would he be looking up if anal can get someone pregnant? Honey you need to tell your family take your child and leave. Stop being lazy because he’s familiar and you don’t want to be a single mother. Your child doesn’t need a father who doesn’t respect his mother. HE DOES NOT RESPECT YOU. Also please get tested, he obviously didn’t use a condom if he thinks he may have gotten someone pregnant from anal. Please leave him. He won’t change, he will just get better at hiding it.

  36. This is just an awful situation to find yourself in. Once the trust is gone it won't be easy to rebuild. You need to tell her husband and let your family know so you have some support. Question, what was it that made you check? Was he acting differently? And if so has he acted like this before? Not being funny but if his excuse was he was drunk, but clearly not enough that he can decide to do anal due to no protection, this was very clearly a choice and could have happened before, you need to protect yourself and your little one.

  37. I'm going off the husband's word ain't shit because he cheated and hid it and if he had it his way she's have never known. So she's having to trust his already proven ain't shit word that he was intoxicated.

  38. The decisions you are about to make have to be your and your alone. You will live with these choices and not your “friends” “family” or anyone else so make choices you won’t frown upon in years to come.

  39. Please go to your family, the biggest regret when I found out my husband was cheating was going at it alone. I didn’t tell anyone for the same reason as you but after the third time I realized that all of that protecting I did just enabled him to keep betraying me. When I finally told my family and friends they were shocked, much like your spouse he was my best friend, he doted on me, he seemingly “wasn’t capable of such a thing” but he was, you never truly know what another human is capable of. He also cried and apologized, crocodile tears and promises of being better. But a couple years would pass and it would happen again. Run. He’s only sorry because he got caught.

  40. You don't have to rush to decide whether to leave him or to stay, you are allowed to voice your hurt and pain. Maybe some time apart might help you gain clarity? If you do decide to take him back, you're going to have to figure out a way to forgive him and work on trusting him again and he is going to have to actively work to earn that forgiveness and trust.

  41. I can’t handle being cheated on. It’s an instant dealbreaker. The dude I’m with wants to mess around? Do it when you’re single because I’m leaving.

  42. Staying with a cheater only gives them the notion that you will tolerate their bullshit. You will never trust him or his business trips ever again. You’re still young and can start over. Please don’t stay with this man. You deserve better.

  43. Why is it always he's never done anything like this before. When it should be this is the first time I'm aware he's done it and I'm gone. Please know you and your child deserve more. Him being intoxicated and her being obsessed with him are excuses. There's no real apology. He wouldn't have told you had you not found out yourself. He will do it again. For the love of everything just fucking leave.

  44. Divorce, get child support. He doesn't respect you. He is out of control and clearly doesn't give a fuck. If he did, he wouldn't have done this.

  45. Why is his need for the secret to be kept from your family and friends more important than your need for support at this time?

  46. So you’re willing to risk contracting HIV so your husband can go play around in peoples butts while you watch your kid? LEAVE NOW!!! Once a cheater always a cheater!!

  47. Oh girl this is not the first time he’s done this. Just the first time he got caught. Std check asap, talk to a lawyer, and tell that other woman’s husband!

  48. If that someone he cheated with reports to him either directly or indirectly if HR gets wind of it he could have bigger issues like possibly losing his job.

  49. The part that got me was that you mentioned he’s not a moron but he also googled if you can get pregnant from anal sex…men never seem to amaze me lol

  50. If you won't tell your family, what does that tell you? It tells you it's wrong. Better to happy and single than miserable and in a relationship. I know that's the Reddit go to, but mine's based on experience. Regaining that trust is nearly impossible.

  51. Sorry that happened. Unfortunately men who travel for work purposes very commonly cheat. I’ve been the only woman on different teams of men in several positions so I’ve seen it firsthand. The rings are removed for many once they arrive to the airport. I was initially shocked but I’ve stopped mentioning it like I did early in my career when I began traveling with them.

  52. He blamed the woman as an excuse. I think you should not wait. You should text the husband immediately. He should know what a horrible woman is laying next to him in bed

  53. Leave him, if he did it once he’ll do it again. He can claim he was drinking all he wants, but if he can recall that she was obsessed and followed him to the hotel room and proceeded to “perform” in the room, then he can recall that he’s a cheater and a liar. No sympathy for cheaters, idc what happened you don’t just sleep with someone and claim whatever bs reason you claim.

  54. He’s not taking responsibility for this. He said she was obsessed with him. Placing all the blame on her to deflect from what he did. He didn’t even admit it you had to find out. Clearly he’s only upset you found out. You also can’t trust this hasn’t happened before it’s not like he’s going to admit it. Go get tested . Trust me you need to stay on top of this they lie and trickle truth you . He probably has been having an affair with her.

  55. Sounds like he's got half a brain and you should leave him. I was trapped once. With three kids. Dependant on him for 10 years not working. And I left. It's hard..but it gets easier. Now I am happily remarried and am the bread winner of all 5 of us and I prefer it that way. You can leave. You can

  56. Just bc he’s capable enough to get promoted at work, doesn’t mean he’s not a moron. The actions he chose to perform very much match the definition of moron.

  57. If a cheater doesn’t immediately renounce their own actions and apologize, and instead throws blame at the person NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP, that’s major 🚩 territory.

  58. She is married and also has a child.. and I have no idea, it truly was just a gut feeling. He wasn’t acting any different, just a little on edge but nothing completely alarming. And I had no feeling whatsoever that something did happen when he went on this work trip. I am just so thankful I did.

  59. Google search and his story of girl obssesed with him. This story doesn't add up. It's more like him and that girl had planned for that sex rendezvous. Got caught and lied to damage control. 😊

  60. If he doesn't know that you cant get pregnant from anal sex, then excuse mez but he's totally a moron. Doesn't matter what job he has or whatever, he's stupid.

  61. I would go to therapy if it was me, just for myself before I decide on any major decisions. I agree with the other comments that this is traumatic, unexpected and Unfair on you. You really need time to process this properly.

  62. I’m afraid your husband has fucked up. HR would can his ass for sure as he’s a sr manager theres the power balance thing, fraternization, and whatever other rules apply. I’d say he isn’t being 100% truthful and there’s more to the story than what’s been told. You need to understand that if what he says is true he’s bad at keeping boundaries as a manager as he was aware she was trouble and if not he doesn’t know when to keep it in his pants, and theres the possibility that he truly believes in you being gullible or just said something because he got caught with his hand in the cookie jar

  63. A cheater is ALWAYS a cheater. He might feel bad now and will do EVERYTHING to not lose you, don't trust him. He had probably done that before, and he will certainly do that in the future.

  64. I am really sorry to hear that ..... But a senior manager do not know anal cannot get a girl pregnant and need to Google it???

  65. Sounds like he's really trying to minimize his ownership for what happened by stating that she was obsessive and persistent, and that he was really intoxicated. Who in 2022 still buys that bull shit?

  66. Oh babes. This might not have been his first rodeo. And if he can remember what happened then he wasn't as intoxicated as he might be making it seem. Honestly, get out of it. It is up to you to set an example for yourself and child that you won't tolerate disrespect. He is the one who decided to take 12 years and make it null and void in one night.

  67. Why are you concerned whether your family and friends hate him? The moron cheated on you and tried to gaslight you into believing it was the other woman’s fault, like he was powerless. First off, he was traveling for work and got so drunk he let an “obsessed woman” into his room, where he was forced to pull down his pants and presumably have anal sex? He not much for professionalism, is he? Second, he takes advantage of an opportunity that he’s not home to have sex with strange women? I’m pretty sure this isn’t the first time he’s done this, just the first time he got caught.

  68. He has destroyed 12years , not you. He had no respect for you, your child or himself that night. I’ve been absolutely wasted and still know I’m married, have a loving husband and kids. Being pissed drunk is zero excuse. He could of pushed her away , there’s many choices he could of made,but he made one and it was with his dick. That’s the respect he has for you. Fuck what anyone else thinks, this is your life,your happiness, your dignity ,integrity and respect for yourself . This is his mess to tell his family ,you get support from yours . I wish you well .

  69. Rest assured that this is not his first time OP. This may have been his first PHYSICAL offense, but one doesn’t just jump from being loyal and in love to having anal sex and getting oral sex at a hotel room in a work conference trip. Once the dust settles I’m sure you’ll start recognizing red flags you might’ve missed. I personally wouldn’t stay in the relationship. I’d lawyer up. It’s going to be difficult but this person is putting your health and emotional well being at risk.

  70. Hi mama. First, I am so sorry that this is happening. Let me say that it is easy to give someone you love an out and the benefit of the doubt, especially knowing and being with them for so long. However, he confessed to this transgression. Regardless of what story he spins to you about this woman, he still made the choice to engage in sex with her. He chose this knowing he had you and your child at home. It is always your choice whether or not you want to stay with him, but when making this choice always remember that HE too had choices, and made his, regardless of you and the child you share together. Additionally, something to think about, if you are feeling trapped now due to your situation, maybe imagine another instance like this occurring somewhere down the road and how much more trapped you will feel then. Not saying it will happen again, but better to be prepared for the worst at this point.

  71. His executive functioning was completely intact. He had the ability to understand he didn’t have a condom, he needed a condom, and an alternate was anal sex because his concern wasn’t stds but pregnancy. He was completely aware of what was happening and made choices. The hole’s in his story leave me wondering if he actually had sex with her or he’s using her name to cover a hooker. I would contact that woman. Op has leverage. Scandal in higher ups and exposing the company to public scandal is definitely leverage.

  72. So much this! As a woman I was thinking exactly the same on the need for serious intent, a solid beyond all others erection and clearly he managed to undertake anal to the point he finished. It’s horrible a situation and it’s stomach churning that he’s attempted to plant a seed about having been pursued hard and followed

  73. Okay I was actually in the process of typing up something like that cause I hadn't seen anyone mention this when my wife came across this comment.

  74. If one more person blames cheating on being drunk, I’m going to scream and claw my face. Seriously? She followed him? He can fuck right off with that bs! He’s sorry? He didn’t even freakin confess until you confronted him! You. Deserve. Better.

  75. This is why you don’t marry your childhood sweetheart before exploring the world. All that FOMO will eventually blow up in your face.

  76. If I were youu I would pick my friends and family over him. Not talking to them is the worst thing you can do right now. Stop protecting him

  77. Yeah. He didn't tell you. He then shifted blame and isn’t taking accountability for his actions. A real man would say no even to someone who’s obsessed with them. You have a young daughter. They learn through observation. Think about what you need and deserve from a partner. Can you even trust him any more??

  78. You can talk to your family. They love you and they’ll understand. Cheating isn’t something to bounce back from. He isn’t taking any responsibility for his actions. He’s an idiot. You’re young. Your life isn’t over.

  79. Get a divorce, alimony, child support. Go back to school and get a credential and a job. Could your family help with this? You can't trust this man. NOPE.

  80. A good job doesn't make a smart man, sometimes it just means he's a kiss-ass. Which is what he's doing to you in hopes that you'll forget about this.

  81. My ex cheated too. I found out when our premi child was 2 months old. We separated for for a few months. Then he came back and we went to counseling. I have to say I am glad I tried. Our family deserved the chance. Since then I have learned the difference between remorse and regret. It’s important. With remorse there is a chance because they will not only be sorry but have actions to back it up. Like going no contact with the ap and anyone who associates with them. If it is job related they find a new one or transfer. They seek counseling and follow through on it.

  82. I'm very sorry that happened to you. Like everyone said please get tested as soon as possible, don't have sex with him until that's done (or ever). If you have a trusted family member, or good friend, start to create an action plan of financial independence.

  83. Dude risked his marriage and his job for this woman. I seriously doubt it was the first time. Can you ever fully trust him again? What will you think when he goes on another work trip?

  84. I couldn't stay with someone who did this personally. If I tried I would be miserable and things would never be the same. You can coparent with him but go your separate ways and let him bang whoever he wants while you live your life and raise your child. He will do it again, and he doesn't respect you or your marriage.

  85. Well you said he’s not a moron, if you truly believe that then what he’s doing was calculated and what he’s saying to you is calculated and he knew what he was doing and made a conscious choice to ruin his family. Or he isn’t very smart and googled can someone get pregnant from anal sex. I’m sorry this is your husband and this happened. The best thing to do is take care of yourself and your child even if you’re still in the same house for a while. Find the best divorce lawyer you can and a therapist and talk through it, find out what our options are. But know your options. In the meantime, try not to say a word to him about it. Obviously don’t have sex with him, but carry on about your day until you figure out what you’re willing to do and put up with and what you won’t.

  86. Behind every blame someone else story is a person who takes zero responsibility. Easy to paint the other woman as obsessed instead of “I made a selfish conscious decision to hurt you” Until he can own his mistake fully there is zero chance of redemption on a moral level. I would say get yourself into counseling because you shouldn’t have to carry that hurt without someone to listen. I absolutely admire the selflessness that comes from devoting yourself to your child and what was a seemingly trustworthy spouse. If you don’t have a future career path in mind, possibly start looking into one. It’s always good to have that security to fall back on so you never feel at the mercy of some d-bags income. Talk to a lawyer and see what you’re entitled to. If you aren’t comfortable telling your family the details at least tell them your marriage is possibly failing and you might need help on an exit strategy.

  87. Yanno, I wonder…do you think that someone that had to google search “can someone get pregnant from anal sex?” would be smart enough to know the difference between the two holes? I mean…what if they did it doggy and he just assumed that was anal?

  88. He’s probably done with before and is probably going raw which is why he googled that idiotic question. And a can lead to an easier spread of disease. Get tested. And leave this guy, or else he’ll think it’s ok to keep cheating. Or Man will never learn.

  89. I’m just thankful I’m not married and don’t have to deal with the kind of things i read on here all the time.

  90. Remember that you did not find this out because he told you. This means you cannot trust him to tell you when he cheats.

  91. He had unprotected anal sex with another person besides you. You have NO idea what this woman’s sexual history is besides her hopefully soon to be ex husband.

  92. Plan your way out and dont give him an inch in the divorce. Unless he was extremely, emotionally conflicted, anxious, or panicked about what she did to him, then I would question his implication (in saying that he was "extremely intoxicated") that he was sexually assaulted and/or didn't give consent.

  93. 50 percent of successful marriages have infidelity in them. As much as Reddit likes to say “Leave this man, he’s garbage” it is not the reality of the world. I’ll tell you from my experience, I’ve had 2 partners cheat on me. The first partner i never got over because she was truly not remorseful and actually tried to turn the situation into my fault. However, the other relationship is the one I’m in now. She had dissociative tendencies that needed psychiatric help with. She was having postpartum depression, and I wasn’t being emotionally available to her at the time (found through couple’s therapy). I have to say that now we have the most wonderful relationship. We trust each other fully and instead of leaning outward when things are hard we have learned to lean on each other.

  94. Your husband is dumb. He threw away a 12 year relationship, your trust and respect for a one night-stand. He also broke the one of cardinal work rules- don’t let your d*ck mess with your money aka don’t sleep with coworkers.

  95. Only you can decide what you want to do with this info but please do make him get tested for STDs. You said something about feeling trapped. Whether you decide to give him another chance or not no one should ever be without options. You can start working yourself into a position that gives you alternatives. Maybe a job working evenings while your husband is home to care for your child or evening classes to increase your earning potential. If you divorce you will of course have some income from child support and possibly spousal support for several years depending on your jurisdiction. I applaud your decision to not tell your family about this, at least yet. You're right, if you stay with him you would then have to deal with the stress of your family hating your husband. I am in no way defending your husband's actions but I've heard this story so many times regarding high school sweethearts. After a decade or so we start to wonder what it would be like to be with someone else. Some people resist the urge and some don't. My first husband was my high school sweetheart and after 10 years I also had some urges and resisted temptation, my husband did not. I knew he had cheated but didn't know how many times until after we had divorced for other reasons. Happy ending though. I stayed single until our kids were early teens and then met a great guy who I eventually married and had a son with. My kids are now 50, 48 and 35.

  96. The thing that really gets me is, he is a grown man. He could have said no, get out of my room, I am married and so are you. HE made that choice. HE did not stop it. He is the one that chose to ruin your life, and he needs to own up to that. The fact that he did it, and didn’t tell you, and made you find out on your own absolutely irritates me. You built a life together, you made a little life together. If I were you, I’d sit down with him, and ask him if it’s happened before, and if it has, kick his ass out. Cheaters don’t realize how damaging it is to us, how hurtful it is, and how long it takes us to come back from this, especially when they meet this person, and have a real relationship with them. It’s so degrading, and so disgusting. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Although If he truly shows remorse, and shows he won’t do it anymore and you trust him, and love him and want your relationship to continue, let him try IF you want. But if you see any signs of cheating again, or you feel unsure, I wouldn’t continue in the relationship. But I am young, and I’ve been cheated on, but I don’t think my partner ever slept with somebody else, if they did, I feel that I would have a very harsh judgement towards this. Again, I am so sorry you’re going through this. You, and your child don’t deserve this. The other husband, and other child don’t deserve this either. You should definitely tell the other husband, he deserves to know too.

  97. First off your husband IS dumb. I am sorry but his google search and the bullsh*t he is trying to serve you prove that. You need someone to help you process this. So what you need to do RIGHT NOW is go to your obgyn and ask for a full exam and panel. Be honest and tell them your husband cheated so they can test for everything. Second you need a therapist to help you navigate this and see if YOU want to continue in this marriage .. Last put that man on time out in a separate bedroom. Do not let him lovebomb you .

  98. Every time I think of being a SAHM/wife, posts like this remind me to financially independent. I can’t put up with a cheating husband, especially if we were high school sweethearts. If you have enough courage to work, separate, and have family support you with your 1 year old please do. Otherwise maybe some counselling if you choose to stay.

  99. You should see a therapist to help you process what happened and figure out the next steps you would like to take. You should also go to marriage counseling if you decide to try to work it out. You should start working on your career, regardless of which direction you decide to take. He’s more likely to cheat again so if you do choose to stay, you need to be prepared to provide for yourself and your children. I wish you the very best.

  100. You need to decide whether you want to work on your marriage. If so, I recommend going through marriage counseling to try to repair the trust that was broken. It won’t be easy, but if you think it’s worth salvaging then you’ll put in the hard work.

  101. I am gonna go ahead and give him the benefit of doubt... Maybe he was taken advantage of/raped in his inttoxicated condition? Maybe he didn't tell anyone because nobody talks about men getting raped, so he thought nobody would believe him? That being said, I don't think any rapist would offer anal to the person they were raping, so that doesn't seem to be the case.

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