How to beat yourself into submission?

  1. I didn't need anymore beatings I had given myself enough of those to finally admit defeat in my drinking. Being willing to accept the fact and admit I was an alcoholic came easy after that. You just need to be mentally, emotionally and physically tired of being tired.

  2. Can really identify with this. Was 3rd time lucky for me in A.A. 1st 2 times I was like don't want to do loads of meetings, 12 steps... nope, sponsor.... not a chance... God, LOL.

  3. Then you have to keep digging to hit your rock bottom. That's what it's going to take to break you. I just talked to someone last night who had a 10 day blackout who went to his 1st meeting last night who still wasn't sure if he had a problem. It's sad to see those that you can see that they need help but are unsure if they need it.

  4. You should seek help, rehab? There is light at the end of the tunnel, you have to keep walking. Advocate for yourself and at the bare minimum challenge yourself to go to a meeting and find a sponsor to help you reach a point of realization of the need and want to change. It seems futile when you aren't motivated but I promise you if you try you won't regret it. Be strong and do what you know you need to do. 🙏💪💚

  5. Is the inability to choose whether to quit entirely or not a motivation? As you go down the drain, it is just different iterations of that. If you decide that inevitable decline of varying degrees is your future, you can surrender to alcohol as your master now (Step 1). You are not required to wait for the gutter, jail, or death to step off the spiral. When you do decide to step off and surrender, you have then been “ beaten into a state of reasonableness,” which is evidenced by the fact that you are behaving reasonably; choosing life over the slow suicide of alcoholism. In short, once you decide you can’t win, even if you have the stamina to keep fighting, you’ve been beaten into a state of reasonableness. It isn’t a measure of the pain you can tolerate. It’s a measure of your ability to admit you’ll not ultimately be successful on your current path. It’s obvious to me just from the wisdom of your question that you are (and probably have been) thinking about this issue very seriously, and probably for some time, and I expect you’ll ultimately find health in that direction. You never would have arrived at a question of this depth otherwise. Keep going in that direction with your analysis of your situation and be well.

  6. The issue is that I am in a state of surrender but it doesn't matter to me because a slow, unnoticed suicide is what I want. I just don't want to deal with all the bullshit in-between. I'm pretty sure I'm untreatable but I figured mindbreaking is worth a shot

  7. Ahhhh you have a tolerance for bullshit but what about the truth? When alcoholics go to an AA meeting and sit and listen they hear the truth and it stays with them, if you are ready to stop and you hear the truth that can be the biggest motivator.

  8. Pray for willingness. Just go to meetings. You don’t have to do anything. Don’t think about the steps or anything else. Just keep going. What made me stop was going to Al anon and hearing about the pain that alcoholism causes. That motivated me. I didn’t think those I love deserve that. So I went to the doctor who told me to go to AA and detox. Also try zoom meetings because you don’t have to go outside. Just log on. I wasn’t desperate. I just didn’t want to die a painful death that ruined my family’s lives. Your story is yours it doesn’t have to be like someone else’s. You don’t have to create desperation. You belong because you have a desire to stop drinking.

  9. For me , it was losing 3 jobs in a single year because of my drinking . I also severely damaged professional and personal relationships and I’ve been sober for 9 days on my own now . I don’t think of going to meetings but having people that support you is really important .

  10. Maybe you get a good therapist who understands resistance in all its forms and honors them. Maybe they can help you raise the bottom so you don’t stay chronic. Beating a hurt, exiled part of you into submission when it is seeking relief from pain and trauma isn’t helpful. Surrender is the most therapeutic thing we do. The doesn’t need beatings. It needs reasons to live.

  11. It takes acceptance and you might want to think about what is enough. Will a dui be enough? Alienating your friends and familiy? Losing your job? Chronic and debilitating health issues? Would not dying from alcohol be motivation enough? If your having issues from depression and it’s impacting your ability to get things done then address it. A core component of sobriety is personal accountability. Tbh i am just reading a lot of excuses to keep drinking, not a reasonable reason to not pursue sobriety.

  12. I move at the speed of pain. When I was done, I was done. When I was ready for a better life, I made the change. You'll get there at exactly the right time and not a moment sooner.

  13. Vivatrol and believing in yourself, tell yourself "I will win, I will succeed" everyone you remember tell yourself that. And tell yourself good job, celebrate everything. Making the bed, brushing your teeth even 1 hour sober.

  14. Oh it’s working my friend. Just not in the ways your human mind understands yet. You’re asking questions. You reached out. You are trying. Good job. There exists a power in your actions that you cannot see that have put into motion the truth that will set you free.

  15. I had to be be really honest with myself about my life. Like truly honest about where I was. Not just external. But internal especially. Feelings about myself and my life. Once I did that. My bottom was just fine and I could give up and stop fighting. The steps helped me do that since lord knows I couldn’t do it myself. Was too scared of what I would find buried beneath the unending drinking. Spoiler : it wasn’t so bad. I’m not so bad. And I was the only thing getting in my way of “it” getting through to me. Giving up control and needing to do it my way was wonderfully freeing. When I can remember to do it it works perfectly.

  16. Reading your post and comments, it strikes me that you’re in a really tough and painful spot right now. I’m sorry that you’re stuck there.

  17. no amount of humiliation or hurt got me into the rooms. as another commenter posted, it was a very tiny inkling towards self love that did. i started to think that maybe i deserved something better but i didn't know how to do it by myself. and that got me into the rooms.

  18. Having to beat yourself into submission before you stop drinking sounds like the perfect excuse to keep drinking to me. All you do need right now are honesty, open-mindedness and willingness. They are the only requirements for getting sober and if you overthink what these principles mean it might be a good idea to get a sponsor to show you how to demonstrate them.

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