What is with lying about age in the apps?

  1. Saw a guy today who listed 51yo and clearly was way younger. Profile said he is 24 and wants to meet older people. So...I guess it goes both ways. 🤣

  2. I'm not okay with it because it feels like manipulation. If your real age doesn't put you in my search criteria it's because I'm not interested in you. A lie is a lie is a lie. If you get my attention and tell me later your age is different than what you said and you did it because you like older/younger women, that's it. Our foundation is based on a lie and, therefore, can never be meaningful. Also, if you're too much of a coward to simply be who you are and let me decide if I'll accept you or not, that's a much bigger issue. Just yesterday some guy significantly younger than me messaged me. I have zero interest in his age, but he has a gorgeous smile, he's super cool, and he's really fun to talk to.

  3. Some apps you can't change age unless you delete the profile and start a new one. Not that it's an excuse, you can still delete the profile and start a new one

  4. I was on an app called Zoosk and some how my preferences were changed to "looking for women". I absolutely was not, nor would I ever intentionally deceive someone like that, but it was impossible to change. I tried everything short of contacting customer service, mostly because there were other apps and I didn't care that much.

  5. Nothing says full of youthful energy like: "someone help me with my hand computer! the font's too small and I can't figure it out!"

  6. Either way it's deception and manipulation. And as a 52 year old woman why would I lie about my age just so I could date someone who doesn't prefer my age? I'd be option B or C, and I don't want to be second option no matter how good he looks on paper.

  7. How about the young guys listing age as 40 and they’re clearly 20-25? Such a weird thing I used to see when I was on OLD for a bit before meeting my guy.

  8. Lying liars who are lying. It says a lot about a person who is willing to lie about their age. I have always known I would never fudge those numbers, ever. What's the point? And what do you think will happen when the truth comes out?

  9. I can't imagine the perceived gain from telling lies that reveal themselves by the time there's an in-person meeting.

  10. Two things I require. Honesty and fidelity. It’s a huge no if you can’t be honest because that makes me very sure you will not handle the other part. I am my age, act my age and only am interested in near to my age. I want to relate to my person

  11. They think they look / act younger than they are, that the people who search for their age range are too old looking / acting. They set their age younger to get shown in the searches of people they want to attract i.e. younger women or men. A woman of 32 for example may set her age range from 28 - 42 so a 48 year old man hoping to match with a 32 - 36 year old woman may employ this strategy so she at least sees his deluded ass. Essentially he's looking to match with women in their 30s not 40 something women.

  12. That’s what I figured. And it’s not only deluded, but it speaks to someone not being respectful of boundaries when you come down to it. The other person set their age limits for a reason and when another person gets shown to them because they lied about their age, that shows they don’t respect other’s wishes. If that person WANTED to meet a 48 yo, they would INCLUDE 48 yos. It’s so disrespectful and I’m surprised how many people are cool with it.

  13. I just wouldn’t. Like, I’m 44, and if you’re not interested in women my age, cool. I don’t care. I do look slightly younger than I am, but I’m not going to make out that I’m 30 when I’m not.

  14. I hate this too, but when I'm feeling at zen about all this garbage and I want to give people the benefit of the doubt I think, "not everyone has the same values I do." I personally value honesty and it pisses me off when someone lies to me. However, some people just don't. Some people will never tell the truth. And some others don't care they're being lied TO as long as they get to hear what they want to hear. So, these people find each other. And I guess they make it work? I know a couple that met online. He lied about his age in his profile. She knew he was lying and she didn't care. Wouldn't work for me, but seems to work for them.

  15. That’s along the lines of my reasoning, too. I wondered if it was a way for people to signal that they were potential “sugar daddies/mamas.”

  16. People lie about a lot of things on dating apps. It's a useful red flag. It's like, I'm just getting to know you and you're already lying? Next....

  17. When I ran into the “50 something” dude who was actually mid 60s (and actually not out of my particular filters), I said, “while I’m not in computer science, I require a certain level of competency with daily use technology. I don’t care if you have a flip phone, but if you have a computer, I expect you can hit the correct radio button and put in accurate data, and if not, know how to edit. Good luck!”

  18. This here! I've learned some things today. Reduction and increase of age and their relative reasons. So many people with things to hide... Or pretend to be something they are not.

  19. Not always, from what I’m seeing. But there are obvious signs - like the veteran wearing the Operation Desert Storm hat…

  20. I know why it's done (both men and women), but I take a dim view of it. I don't need to know EVERYTHING up front, but if you aren't truthful about the little things, I wonder where you draw the line....and that the line changes over time.

  21. Yup, to get around age filters. The very first woman I dated had 49 on her profile but she was 51. She told me on date 1 and said people tend to search in the 0-9 range (30-39, 40-49, etc) and she didn't want to be excluded.

  22. Not local im afraid, been on dates where the it turns out they are a couple of years older and claim to do it because their friends say guys wont swipe right if you are over 50.

  23. Simply isn't true though, SOME men look for 50s. I'm 58, I look for similar age. (Easier to talk to, more experienced, similar period from retirement, all kinds of good reasons...

  24. I matched with a women that was 45 according to her profile, and we did a video call (by her request) and she was clearly at least 55. Maybe even 60. Massive amount of surgery and fillers and cosmetics, even over video it was clear she is not 45 but probably thinks she looks 15 years younger than she is.

  25. It's an instant no no for me when I see that - even when they're still within my chosen age range. These guys just think they're entitled to a younger woman.

  26. Men often lie about their age, trying to attract a younger gal. I have a friend, who is 51, but on his dating profile he is 39, younger than me. 🤣 I am glad he’ll never find me on OLD, since I am way above his search age..

  27. Especially the ones that say their true age in the bio description. It always seems so gross to me, like ewwww no! I always wonder who would swipe yes to that.

  28. Yes, men do it to get around filters and date younger. Women do it to get around filters and date men their own age who want to date younger.

  29. It’s called catfishing and I usually get women that say they’re 40 something but put up 30 something pictures. I usually don’t believe anything until we FaceTime

  30. It's not local to you at all. Unless you also live in Texas. I read a profile that said guy was 47. We talk on the phone and he tells me he is going to be 52 on Sunday.

  31. Immediately no‼️ Far too many people lie about their age on apps and they shouldn’t. Be yourself and be honest. I’ve never lied about my age and would never want to match with someone based on a lie. Any attempts to justify the lie aren’t acceptable. I haven’t been on dating apps in 2 years, but when I was on them, I got plenty of matches as a 43-year old woman (43 at that time) being myself.

  32. I'm 43, and I look a little older due to my hair and beard being mostly gray. I don't really care about dyeing it. I've been accused of fudging my age because of that, but if they accuse me of it, I just show them my Drivers License lol. I would never lie about my age intentionally though, that's just weird.

  33. Goodness gracious! I've seen this on several profiles that were recommended matches on Hinge. Personally, I skip those matches as the men tend to look older than their disclaimer i.e. profile says I'm 49 but I'm really 39....no thanks.

  34. I gave my correct age of 47. I started dating a woman who put down that she was 42, turns out she was 51.

  35. At least they tell the truth on the app. The worst are those who lie and don’t admit it. These ones never get a second date with me.

  36. Because no one searches women over 39. My friend made my profile for me to help cuz I was having trouble. Got my age wrong. I had tons of messages at first. Corrected it and now I don’t even half as many matches. Dunno about the men but prob same reason.

  37. What is the reason for this? Really? Hm, what could be the reason? What? Why would someone even do that? 🤔

  38. i hate how all these twenty something women are trying to message me, a 43 year old man, who is just looking for someone age appropriate. c'mon now!

  39. It’s not about “age appropriate”, that’s completely a matter of personal choice. It’s about disingenuously showing up in a person’s search after they had intentionally set parameters that matched their preferences. That may not be your preferences, but why would you want to present yourself as something that you are not?

  40. Here to provide a contrarian perspective. I went on a date during the first pandemic summer with someone who turned out to be 10 years older than claimed on her profile (her explanation—she felt much younger in spirit than most men her age).

  41. I had a similar experience tbh. He did have more issues in the end to which the age lie hinted towards, but it opened my eyes to dating older people because there were so many beautiful and wonderful things about the connection.

  42. Name and age can be changed. It requires deleting the app and starting over. None of these liars are getting so much attention they couldn’t delete the app for 20 minutes.

  43. Part of it is people who used Facebook and have fake birthday there it will carryon through, part of it is just lying. But there are legit some people who can’t correct age depending on how they signed up

  44. IMO almost everyone lies on OLD. It is certainly a race to the bottom, but how else do we get dates? It sucks, but it seems that is how the OLD game is played. I've been disappointed when I've women in person after meeting on OLD, but every now and then, the are way better in person than on-line. That's how I met my amazing GF. I think she fudged a few things in her profile, but I consider it like she was lying to the app and in person fessed up.

  45. When I was younger, I said I was older and now that I’m older, I’d hope that I still look younger but I’m okay the age I’m at but some are not. I guess they know the pool is already slim so they want to try and broaden their reach.

  46. Are some lying or are some people just ravaged by life? It's hard to tell sometimes. I personally think I look my age (45) but I could be way off. I have shunned the sun like a mole person though so maybe that's helped.

  47. I did it on Tinder for about 2 months, at two different times of a year - once I set my age at 7 years younger, the other time at +7 - to see what kind of women were going to like and match with me compared to the rest of the time.

  48. I personally know a number of women who lie online about their age and sometimes disclose and sometimes don't. One dated a much younger guy for a year before they broke up - I like to think it's because she got caught. I dated a woman briefly who shaved 5 years off her age for professional purposes - actress. I caught it because there were reliable online sources that pegged it.

  49. I see a lot saying they are in their 40's when the men are clearly in their 20's at best. At least once per time I decide to swipe among multiple apps.

  50. I've seen girls do this. It is a bit sketchy but doesn't bother me, and it usually says something like "won't let me change my age" although we all know they set it this way deliberately.

  51. Women shouldn't lie about their age either. It's a big deal because no one is entitled to date someone who would rule out their age group.

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