Dating profile feedback request

  1. So what are your age parameters? I can't imagine you're not getting likes from women around your age. But if you're looking for late 20s/early 30s, most women don't want to date a man that much older.

  2. I have my filters set between 28-40, but realistically I'm probably not swiping right on on very many women in their upper 30s. Unfortunately I just haven't met anyone close to my age who I've been attracted to. I'm trying to allow for the possibility but it hasn't happened yet. Plus I'd like a family like all my siblings and cousins have.

  3. I've read all the comments. I think Reddit is notoriously generous when rating appearance. The age range you are looking for: 28-35 is not going to be impressed by you-especially not the ones you are impressed by. The fact that you have 8 matches in 5 years shows that you're not realistic about the type of woman you can attract. Correction: I read the posts again and it actually been 5 dates in 8 years. OP has been at this for. 8.years. He's seriously delusional about getting what he's looking for.

  4. Correct. He’s not even appealing to me and I’m his age. Nothing stands out about his profile. NOTHING.

  5. If you want children some day you may want to ask the dating under forty crowd. Most of us here wouldn’t fit into your dating pool so our opinions probably don’t matter that much.

  6. I will be the dissenter here. I don’t think your profile is authentic. Who are you? What are you passionate about? Why would you make a good life partner?

  7. As a woman in your target age range (I’m here because I’m interested in men in their 40s), comments about not finding any women in their upper 30s attractive sound very off-putting to me. Like… does that mean if we dated you would stop finding me attractive because I’ve aged out of your preferred range? I personally would try to avoid anyone who even hints at that.

  8. Yeah, that would be a big problem for me too. Age gaps are no big deal but I wouldn't want to be aging out of my 60 year old husband's attractiveness zone in my mid 30s with 10 years of marriage and a couple of kids under my belt.

  9. You looking for us old bags to tell you how to bag a thirty-year-old at your age? Be very attractive and very financially successful. You're 0 for 2, bud. 🤷‍♀️

  10. The second pic on the Bumble profile looks way older to me. It makes me think twice when I see dated pics on profiles when most people who access the app are doing so on a device that can literally take pictures. The “child approved” line is also a little off putting- maybe “pet and kid approved”? Or just “pet approved”. As for the no luck, I think it might come down to the search parameters you have set up, especially if you are looking for women who are significantly younger. Maybe try broadening your parameters? Good luck! It’s rough out there ;)

  11. I’m 43F. You are a good looking guy and overall I think your bumble and hinge profiles are good. I’d swipe right! The J-swipe one seems very negative and off putting. At 48 what does “want children someday” mean to you? If it just means you are open to dating a woman with children, either don’t show that particular bubble or explain what it means in your profile. (If you want to have your own children it’s fine as is). Please delete the picture of you with your niece. It’s just not necessary to have a child’s face on a dating app, but even more so since you are not her parent.

  12. Thanks. I've seen/received different feedback about the niece photo; I'll delete it. And yes I'm looking to have kids of my own.

  13. Why do you want children someday? Are you planning to be a parent at 49? 50? 55? And what age range are you looking to date in this case?

  14. OP is living in a fantasy world. No twenty-something is going to be interested. The fact he’s not attracted to women who are less than nearly twenty years his junior is such a HUGE red flag…

  15. To be fair I'm a 39F dummy who still has "wants children" on her profile although it's extremely unlikely to happen. If that's what he wants then it's what he wants.

  16. I like everything about it. I’d swipe. The one thing that gives me pause is that the second photo looks old. Is it?

  17. I just checked, and that's the most affirmative choice Bumble offers. The choices are: 1. Want someday 2. Don't want 3. Have and want more 4. Have and don't want more. 5. Not sure yet

  18. Just here to agree with what pretty much everyone else is saying - if a 25 yo girl is looking for a 50 yo guy, it’s probably not because she wants to give him a brood of children to enjoy in his twilight years; you’re not hot enough nor (I assume) rich enough. You’re not going to have an easy time on OLD; maybe a little better in person, so they get to know you first?

  19. Honestly, I find "enthusiastic" irrelevant, vague and immature. The people who would date you are mature and may be tired from a hard day at work - you make it sound like you want a bubbly 20-something with tons of energy. And the very specific food references aren't necessary and make me want to move along - the only "bubble tea" folks I know are teens. Put something interesting about yourself and what you're looking for in a partner.

  20. I’m 51 and dating. I look a little bit younger than my age. I’m adventurous and easy going. I am a high earner so not looking for a man with big income but looking for a man that would take charge and make me feel safe, secure and feminine in their masculinity. You give off NONE of that to me. If you can’t attract women your own age you’re certainly not giving enough info to attract women much younger than you.

  21. The issue is the age range you’re seeking. I hope you’re hearing clearly from the awesome peeps on this sub that your age range is your issue. Your profile is fine and I’m seeing a lot of agreement here that you’d get swipes from this crowd… but your age range is the issue.

  22. I feel for the tough bind you are in re: kids. I (43f) went through a spate of time OLD last year while being very specific that I was looking for someone still open to having kids.

  23. I'm a 42 year old, so clearly too old for you 🙄, but I would swipe left. Younger women don't want a nearly 50yo cellist. You're not good looking either, at least not enough for a Jennifer Connelly type. You really need to temper your expectations here. There are plenty of hot women in their 40s who get attention from all age groups. 90% of men I date are in their 30s. Having children would be problematic though because those women are not eager to start all over again.

  24. The only hol' up moment was when I saw that you have 'wants someday' re: children... at age 48. 🤔 Are you targeting significantly younger women to have babies with? If not, I'd scrap that because most women our age will see it and swipe left. That's really the only thing that raised a flag, everything else looks good! (Oh, nip the kid pic.)

  25. Another vote for the “wants someday” being a swipe left for me. I can't have children and it's never been a priority for me, so I am open to dating someone who has them already but don't want to disappoint someone who actively wants to have kids in the future.

  26. The box once read, "Enjoy your Cheez-It...." (as in, enjoy your Cheez-It crackers; it's a name-brand plural collective, like "Lego"). It became Cheez-Its through popular speech. Yes, I'm probably wrong.

  27. He wouldn't be attracted to you (or me). We're too old for him and he's never been attracted to women his age, as per other replies. Not sure why he's looking for feedback from barren withered crones (/s) but here we are. 🙄

  28. Op I don’t want to pile on you, but I’m 42 and on these apps. I get swiped regularly by guys hotter than you and with good careers. I do not mean this to be nasty I’m being brutally honest. Even with women in their 40s you need to be honest with yourself about your appearance and even if you have your pick there. Life can be great with a partner, don’t count nice women out. Go on dates and see if physical chemistry gels. The way I see it, you take what everybody on here is saying on board, cry and then give up your unrealistic ideas and find a nice woman to spend your life with, or stay alone forever still wishing for that hot 28 year old. I honestly think those are the two options open to you. Good luck

  29. You have a lot of competition out there. Honestly sounds like you are going for partners out of your league. Don’t worry about people here trashing your looks. That’s opinion. Everyone finds different people attractive. I’m 45m I rarely message anyone under 38ish and try to stick to 41-47. There are tons of beautiful women in there 40’s and up. I also can tell by pictures and profile if it would likely go anywhere. Don’t waste your time or there’s. the right person just needs to catch your eye. You don’t need to be drooling over her. Once you get to know her,you will see her as the most beautiful woman on earth. I know it sounds cheesy. It is true though.

  30. The outfit is all wrong because you look really pale against that darker color shirt. Maybe a button down and a pair of jeans with the collar/top buttons open. Hands on the pocket is also off-putting. Add a little more info about your interests.

  31. Re the “want kids” that would make me swipe right. Yeah we may be a small batch but I’ve always wanted kids and still hold out some hope that maybe I still can if I find the right dude and do ivf. That’s not romantic but that’s what it is at our age.

  32. In my view, your Bumble and Hinge profiles are really light on substance. That kind of lightness only works if you're young and good looking. For your age range, you need to offer a lot more insight into yoir values and what you're looking for.

  33. Im a straight dude but you had me a cellist. I thought playing cello in college would help me meet the ladies. It did not.

  34. Wow. I’d be all over you like a rash. The only thing I don’t like about you is bubble tea, and that’s forgivable. No luck on the Internet? The internet must be broken.

  35. It’s pretty clear about the wanting children issue. I think you are good looking and my “type”. I am your age. When I was in the age range you are looking for to have kids though, I would have been scared off by your profession. Fun to date but not necessarily good solid “provider” material. It’s the freelance issue that would scare me. Survival of the fittest? I would be thinking, I want kids, but what if by some accident of nature, a child needs a parent who will stay home and look after it full time and not be able to work? Can this man provide a solid income long term for me to stay home with a child who for some reason can’t be in daycare? Can he afford to educate my child long term if I for some reason am unable to contribute financially? Yes. This is a thing I was considering when I was late 20s and early 30s. I actually left my musican boyfriend who went on to become a PhD and a dean of fine arts for this exact reason. Shitty I know but I thought I might want to stay home for a time period with my babies and I didn’t trust he could provide in a solid manner. Just being honest.

  36. I love the picture with the instrument! Your profile is better than most and has substance. Keep trying and you should find success. This is a fine example showing how the parody of choice isn't always a good thing-good profiles do sometimes go unnoticed.

  37. Why don’t you just try to meet women you like? Maybe kids is in the cards for you? Maybe it’s not gods will? Try to accept and grab what his will for you is, otherwise you may get stuck with no one. Write down that you don’t know if you want kids. Then, try to find someone you like who also likes you.

  38. I agree the pic with your niece adds confusion and should be removed. It’s not necessary and some will assume that’s your daughter because not everyone looks at captions.

  39. I dont understand all the shade being thrown your way, OP. This is a sub for people over 40 who are interested in and seeking support for dating at our age. It seems appropriate to seek advice here, even if we aren't your target audience.

  40. Yeah, but if OP has gotten 5 dates in 8 years, then something might be contributing to that. I had a line in my original comment that I deleted before posting because I didn’t want to sound mean. I thought that number sounded awful and was going to suggest he meet people IRL. I think his age range is probably really hurting him but if that’s what he wants, then IRL is no better.

  41. So many posters are being so harsh on this guy for wanting kids even though he’s now in his late 40s, but where I live (also a major east coast location like the poster) plenty of men and women get married and have kids later in life because they spent time getting advanced degrees and building their careers first. Sure, that’s usually still on the earlier side 40s rather than later, but it’s perfectly ok if he still has a dream to have his own kids one day and it’s pretty awful to see so many shaming him for what is a basic biological and social urge for many. I agree with other posters though that I don’t think women in their 20s or close to 30 will be interested in someone from OLD who is that much older than they are, but late 30-s to early 40s range women, sure. I do think the poster needs to focus exclusively on that demographic to be more realistic. I know plenty of attractive successful women in my area who are in that range who would be open to dating someone like this guy— BUT— the bubble tea as part of the lead in the bumble profile is a turnoff. I can’t even explain why, it just seems weirdly juvenile. Fine to bring up your love of bubble tea on a date I just don’t see why it’s the first thing I learn about you.

  42. I'm jealous, pal! You look like a real catch. I'd dye some of the gray out of your hair like I do, but it's up to you.

  43. Photos look nice. Profile can be polished a bit. But it should not be a big issue. The main thing is the age filter of 28-40 would not set you to success. In my own experience, if I apply a similar age difference, the number of dates would wither to 10%. In reality most of the matches are between people close in ages. You'd heard some people bragging about dating someone 20 years younger. They are outliers. Don't put your hope to become one of them.

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