I'm scared my best friend will abandon me

  1. I know a lot of people are just going to say outright that he's not worth it if he's going to abandon you over being a fembu like I imgine your speculating. while I don't know anything about you I imagine that knowing somone for so long this couldnt be the worst thing to ever happen to yall. But hell, for all I know you live in Mississippi or the Bible belt. this could come down to you choosing between expressing your sexuality vs keeping a friend, again I imagine if you friend is a good person they'll get over it but the choice is yours.

  2. As someone from the Bible Belt it wasn’t that long ago that I was in the situation of your friend. I had a friend who decided to transition and it wasn’t easy for me honestly I had some negative thoughts about it. Luckily I decided to try to accept him which led me to Reddit in the first place to ask questions anonymously to educate myself and now I enjoy being fem. I know the south gets a lot of shit due to the hateful ideology we grew up around but we also were raised to treat our friends like family not all of us are assholes most of us are just ignorant and have never had the opportunity to learn about these things

  3. If he stops being friends with you over something like that, then he isn’t worth being friends with in the first place.

  4. I think you need to find out if he feels as close to you as you do him. I know it's tough talking to guys, who are masculine or appearing masculine.

  5. I do agree with everyone saying that if he abandons you biased on what you wear he’s not worth it anyway but if you really don’t want to lose him sit down with him and talk to him about it I don’t know enough about you or your friend to give advice on how the conversation should go but GL and i hope everything works out well for you

  6. man dont listen to everyone saying hes a shit friend cause he doesnt like your clothes listen he might just be uncomfortable around them that isnt a fault he can fix its something that is driven into his brain from the way he grew up, maybe just try and have a conversation with him about it not a angry one but one where you explain where coming from if at the end of the day he still cant accept it dont blame him just go separate ways and accept the fact that you had some good times with him not everything lasts

  7. I get why that would hurt, it's not great losing a long-term friend, it feels shallow from his end.. very narrow-minded and dumb. But that doesn't mean every "loss" is bad, believe me, if it will happen over this, then you'd be better off. I'd say better sooner than later. Take it easy ❤️

  8. Give him the opportunity to either embrace who you really are and want to be or walk away from a friendship. But, I'd encourage you to tell him how you're feeling, what you're going thru, and that you hope he'll be both understanding and supportive.

  9. Tell him how much you care about the friendship but also reaffirm your stance on being a femboy. You need to tell him you won’t tolerate those hurtful hurtful remarks. I think he’ll appreciate the honesty. But the decision is his to make and say.

  10. This is a tough situation. You have been friends so long, hasn't this subject come up? Do you really just love your friend as a brother, or do you have deeper feelings for/about him? Perhaps this is what he is worried about, that he doesn't have the same feelings for you. If you truly love him as a brother, then having an open discussion about it might relieve

  11. I rrly do like him as a friend I never give him those vibes I mean I do like him but I don't have a full crush lol I just always thought he was cute but never rrly wanted or thought about deeper feelings and also I don't think he'd appreciate it lol

  12. his fears. I hope the two of you can talk honestly soon, it would be a shame to lose a friend for no reason.

  13. Talk to em. If he's your actual best friend then legitimately talk to em about it. Ask whatever you want about it, don't be rude obviously but be prepared to walk away if need be.

  14. Some people take longer to get used to change then others give him time to adjust I'm sure he'll except you as you are once he's comfortable with it

  15. I came out to my best friend this year and honestly he's cool with it. Were both in our mid-20's hand have been friends since we were teens. He's honestly been really cool about it. So. Maybe give him a chance and see. If not, you know there's a whole community of people who will have your back. Just don't be afraid to be yourself.

  16. Maybe try and drop a few hints or see what he thinks about guys in feminine clothes or situations i know its really hard to speak to guy friends about this im in a similar situation but just make sure your safe I hope for the best 🫂

  17. I am a best man at one of my longest friend's wedding. I've known him over about 7 years, and am closer to him than anyone else on this planet. And he thinks that wearing feminine clothes in public is a sin. I won't go into details here about why he thinks it's a sin, but it's not just because it makes him uncomfortable. I've talked with him about it on several occasions, and we understand each other's side of things. I know it makes him uncomfortable, and I value him as a friend, so I don't wear feminine clothes around him. I don't want to make him uncomfortable. That being said, thisnt isn't something that's toxic or negative—quite the opposite. He's made compromises to me in the past, things that make me uncomfortable that we don't talk about any more because we know each other's opinions on it, and know it only leads to strife.

  18. He's either gonna abandon you anyway or sexually assault you. No matter how you slice and dice it, it won't turn out well for you or anyone else who has the misfortune of dealing with him. In the meanwhile he will probably be defining you by the way you dress or your sexual orientation or gender identity in a derogative manner to others, behind your back, in the meanwhile.

  19. When I was 18, I found out that my best friend who was a brother to me raped another friend of mine, who was the first transgender person I had ever known personally in my life. I also found out from that person that they had spent years calling me "the gay one" to everyone he knew behind my back.

  20. I had this with my best friend that I knew since i was 5 but he was horrible about it and embarrassed to be with me when dressed up. I don't want that in my life and i haven't spoken to him for a long time

  21. if they are willing to abandon you over who you are, they are not worth your time. fuck them. there’s better people out there.

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