How the FUCK do I keep FUCKING SQUIRRELS out of my garden beds?!?

  1. Luckily no squirrel probs here. I tried putting a fake snake by a chipmunk hole. The chipmunk grabbed it, dragged it away, chewed on it and that was it. I jammed empty corncobs in the hole and it took every single one out. Tried powdered Carolina Reaper, ghost pepper, oil infused with said powder. I think if I shot it, it would just get pissed off and try to kill me.

  2. Wow! That must be why some of my stuff gets dug into and some doesn't! I have very thin drop lines to my raised beds! They probably think it's snakes! Wonderful!!

  3. We had squirrels destroying our outdoor chairs by clawing out the wool in the cushions for their nests. We ended up spraying some garlic on the surrounding patio areas and they never came back. Even left our area completely.

  4. Man, that was the end for me. Looked up in the tree to see my cushion filling stuffed in a nest. Sounds cute till I realized it was $80 to replace it. We got a live trap and drove them 10 miles out of town.

  5. I tried fake snakes, fake owls, scarecrows, whirligigs, providing feeders away from the garden, planting a small bed of second garden specifically for them, chili powder, cayenne pepper, several commercial sprays intended for that purpose, and running out of the house in various states of dress throughout the day while waving a broom and yelling like a lunatic. What finally worked was the year my husband built cages around the garden. Cages work. Make sure the bottom edge is secure, and double-check the seams on top. Or it will stop working.

  6. running out in various dress 😂 been there.., I sleep naked in the summer (no A/C) and have woken up to them eating my sunflowers… If anyone was up at 5:30am, they had a nice morning view!

  7. Same here. The plants that I want them out of- my strawberry plants and potted lemon tree- I just built cages for. My other potted plants, including a large rose bush and hibiscus bush, they dig in a little bit but it's to bury seeds from the birdseed so I just replace a cup or two of soil periodically. I have cats that go out on my patio and hang out and the squirrels do not care at all. They dash around them or wait for them to come in. Cages

  8. Metal cages are the way. They're horrible to build, and I'm tired of occasionally scratching my arms on the edges, but they work so well it's hard to recommend anything else.

  9. I have trained my two year old to run out there, clap, and yell "go away, bum squirrels" whenever she sees them in the yard. 50% effective, 100% hilarious.

  10. Ha, bum squirrels. My two year old yells "Shoo Squirrels!" but it comes out more like Chew Squirrels. I like that your daughter demeans their socio-economic status, i'll have to try that

  11. Our dog obsesses over squirrels, so he paws at the patio door whenever he sees them to go out and chase them. When we see them out the window, we shout "squirrel" and he charges to the door.

  12. What works temporarily for me is spreading a little blood meal and spraying that with the hose. Squirrels don't like the smell of "something just met a violent death here"

  13. A month ago, I actually witnessed a squirrel chewing on the corpse of another squirrel that fell out of a tree during a storm.

  14. I did this, it was a short term success. I tried all of the internet hacks on my strawberries, then I used fruit tree netting. This worked for a year. Now I have a wire cage around it and this solution has worked great. Expensive and ugly, but it is the only permanent solution to squirrels.

  15. Wolf pee (PredatorPee) is a much stronger deterrent than blood. A sponge on a stick dipped in it (like a sponge paint brush) will deter deer quite effectively too.

  16. idk i watched a video of a guy with an air rifle shooting 100 of them in the head to protect their crop and they were climbing over the dead ones to try and eat his crop and bait still

  17. This 100%. I used to have a horrendous squirrel problem, they use to mess with my chickens endlessly and dig up my garden. Then my idiot dog got her head stuck in some wire fencing I had curled up in the corner of the property and tore this mole off the side of her head and blood was all over the place.

  18. Do i have to smell “something just met a violent death here”? I am completely unfamiliar with blood meal. Squirrels like to attack my plants right at the stem, and then leave empty handed.

  19. I did this and it works! But some sort of hawk smelled the blood meal and not only destroyed the flowers, it also destroyed the entire wooden planter. At first I thought it was a bear. I miss the days when squirrels were my problem...

  20. Do you have pets? We put cat hair from brushing my cats in the garden beds, the thought being the scent is a deterrent. And also peppermint oil, they hate that shit. Squirrels were so bad in my neighborhood they were eating wires and insulation from inside cars. After trying both these things they stopped being little shits and went for the neighbors yards (and cars) instead.

  21. that exact feel when you wake up and with a steaming hot cup of coffee look out across the lawn to see that the little fucks have played pingpong with your tulip bulbs yet again

  22. This, but, it’s your heirloom tomatoes scattered about the yard… with only one bite taken from each.

  23. I made wood frames that sit on top of our beds made out of 2x4s and leftover cedar fence boards, then attach chicken wire to the tops. This works well while the plants are little.

  24. This is what I do. I like it because we moved to a new house and I have no idea how bad the squirrels, chipmunks, deer, or rabbits are, so why not protect against them all for now

  25. For small areas, planting forks (plastic ones are ok if you don’t have great-great-granny’s silver languishing in the china cabinet) with the tines up is a decent deterrent.

  26. I’m covering my raised beds with metal mesh (supported by bent metal conduit) this year because last year the squirrels were TERRIBLE

  27. Not that I recommend this but ... years ago a friend asked me to grow some peppers for him - the super hot ones that I can't even touch without gloves. One day I was watering and wandering and found one of the peppers on the ground with a tiny bite out of it, either chipmunk or squirrel I think. I felt pretty bad for the critter - but it never happened again.

  28. That probably is one way to kill them or get them to quit coming back but I will stick with the pellet gun

  29. I don't have many squirrels but my neighbor has spent shotgun shells on his front porch all the time.

  30. I fear the squirrels have bribed both our cat and dog. I see both of them putting some act when we are watching , but rest of the time allow the bloody squirrels to destroy our garden while they nap peacefully.

  31. I feel your pain. I'm a vegetarian but when they start fucking with my flowers I will literally commit war crimes against the squirrel population.

  32. It's not wrong to eat a squirrel who has wronged you. Ya know who said that? Alpert freaking Eisenstein, and you could say that he knew a thing or two...

  33. Cyannne pepper. Squirrels do not like it, so I sprinkle it generously over the soil... they learn pretty quickly to stay away.

  34. LOL, I tried this as recommended to train one of my dogs to not eat poop - would run out and sprinkle all the poop. She just came in smelling like a poop taco. Not a deterrent for her!

  35. This is the only thing that has worked for me. Never harmed my plants, and I've been doing it for a couple years. Only thing that sucks is you have to re-apply it regularly, especially after rain. I've been buying the large restaurant supply size jugs.

  36. When we tried this they just treated it like seasoning. Though the initial reactions were hilarious... but they still came back

  37. I tried that and red pepper flakes. Squirrels are still messing with my plants. I think I'm going to try the rubber snake and pet hair ideas! (5 furkids so i have tons of fur handy) I have tons of black snakes always passing thru, and still tons of Squirrels. A person in the neighborhood had a large bird they keep outdoors. They don't secure its food. I see Squirrels running around with cracker packs, have pulled weeds and they end up being peanut plants. I think the free food is why my neighborhood is overrun with Squirrels.

  38. motion activated sprinklers...they hate water being sprayed at them. I got them out of my garden by turning on the sprinklers when they were in there

  39. I poke sticks in the ground sticking up a few inches in and around seed beds and seedlings, or lay blackberry vines on the ground. It seems the sticks are annoying and they dig elswhere, and don't seem to like thorns. Cats avoid the areas too.

  40. My neighbor feeds squirrels but doesn't have any gardens, so they dig up our gardens right after we plant... Costs us hundreds of dollars a year, probably over a thousand since we moved in. Because our neighbor rescues the squirrels we keep getting more and more, way too many for our small neighborhood. Plus one attacked our 75 lb dog and cut her head open, which was a couple hundred dollar vet bill (aggressive squirrels suck).

  41. Not sure where you are, but maybe talk to your local government office? There may be ordinances to limit that sort of thing. You know, keeping wildlife, an amphibious rodent, for domestic, you know, within city limits. That sort of thing.

  42. I'd have to side with you on the pellet gun. I'm all for animal rights and ethical treatment, but they can become a real problem. My biggest issue is fleas. Once a nuisance animal population gets out of control it's time to start decimating.

  43. I'd have to side with you on the pellet gun. I'm all for animal rights and ethical treatment, but they can become a real problem. My biggest issue is fleas. Once a nuisance animal population gets out of control it's time to start decimating.

  44. These gymnasts are the bane of many a gardener's existence. I love animals, but when I bonked one on the head with an ice cube out of sheer frustration, I was happy. He ran off to attack my garden another day, but he will remember me!

  45. I bought a Costco size of cayenne pepper and sprinkle that shit all around my plants, squirrels HATE it. Deters a lot of other animals too

  46. Yeah.... We tried that at work last week to keep them off the bird feeder. Little fucks just decided to lick the powder up as well.

  47. I use this stuff called uncle Ian’s. It’s a small animal repellent. The squirrels leave my plants alone after I apply it. I believe it’s cayenne pepper based and squirrels hate that. You can buy a 5 lb bag at places like Home Depot.

  48. I actually am not sure, I had just assumed since I see squirrels digging pointless holes in other places in the yard. It does always happen after dark / before I'm out to the garden in the morning, so a nocturnal animal makes some sense, but I guess I didn't realize raccoons would dig holes like that, esp with trash cans nearby. I honestly didn't know that skunks dug for their food that deep either.

  49. I just have a container garden and I’ve finally started making chicken wire cages with mosquito netting tops for my pots because those little bastards eat EVERYTHING!!! They ate my poblano pepper plant to the stalk TWICE and they even started eating and ripping up my pineapples! Forget my poor succulents, they didn’t stand a chance, RIP.

  50. Start trapping them and releasing far away.. Its not permanent but you can put a dent in a local population. Suet cake bird feed wire the cage shut so squirrels cant get it. It'll draw smaller birds which will draw raptors. It helps I swear..

  51. Stop FUCKING SQUIRRELS and maybe they will stop coming back for more. Also prob the wrong sub for your specific fetish.

  52. I have a haveaheart trap for squirrels. Capture one and release it ten miles distance from A to B, not road distance, in another neighborhood similar to mine that has a creek next to it. Rinse and repeat and eventually you'll have no squirrels.

  53. Haha thanks for asking the question for me. So far I've been told physical barriers are the best way like chicken wire

  54. Give them a deterrent. Like a bird feeder. Or try the motion activated sprinklers. I’ve used them for deer and birds successfully

  55. I literally had squirrels chew thru a layer of wood and metal to set up shop in my ceiling. They would then come out and dig up all my sunflower seeds during the day. I set up some traps and blocked the hole. sprinkled pepper flakes all around and put one of those fake owls by my flower bed.

  56. Capsicum worked for me, but it needs to be reapplied pretty frequently. I used cayenne pepper seeds from peppers my husband grew, super spicey from how fresh it was.

  57. I put a fake owl up on a post. Seems to be working. Watched a racoon on security camera last night take a double take and turn around and scamper off.

  58. I feel you mate, planted a lot of bulbs over the Easter weekend and the squirrels now think it's a good time to bury the pecan nuts from the tree in the front yard.

  59. I fucking hate my local ground squirrel population and the only thing I can do is plant stuff they don't like to eat, or build enclosures for my raised beds. (low voltage) Electrified ones.

  60. I’m sorry, OP. I’m a first time gardener so I have no useful advice. I just had to say that your post almost caused coffee to shoot out my nose. I laughed way harder than appropriate at your choice of wording. 😂😂😂 Best of luck and keep us posted!!

  61. It isn’t every day I settle in to reading all 3,546 comments to a post, and laughing hysterically….this is best of reddit time!

  62. I’ll take squirrels. I have a trio of aggressive raccoons. I chased one off with my daughter’s plastic lawn mower that played Ariel’s “Under the Sea” this afternoon. He stopped several times and looked at me trying to decide if he should come back.

  63. I must have the shittest squirrel around, he's either got so much food that he doesn't care or is starving because he forgets buried nuts everywhere. I have so many walnut trees growing in my beds that I have to pull one up at least once a day!

  64. The absolute worst is that they will take a single BITE out of my tomatoes and peppers and leave the rest in grass. Kills me!

  65. Damn bastards were eating my lettuce and radish tops. I covered my beds with 1" domed chicken wire and sprinkled used coffee grounds I got for free from starbucks in all my beds. My logic behind these being that a domed wire cage will keep at least some of the plants out of reach and according to my quick Google search squirrels don't like strong smells so the coffee grounds are a free source of a strong smell that's garden safe. It's worked for me for the last few weeks and has saved the rest of my garden so far so maybe it'll help you. Gods speed friend.

  66. I spread red pepper flakes all over. They don't like the capsaicin. But it only works for a few days I think. Also I have a rubber snake that worked well. I think fake owls work too? You gotta occasionally move the fake predators around though. Also unleash the dog sometimes.

  67. Put up pictures of Donald Trump, should kill their libido, or put an occupied sign up on the gate. Good luck with your battle they're crafty!

  68. 29! It would be super funny if it was actually just the same few chipmunks getting caught and released and recaught over and over 😂 They're cute and fast but kinda dumb.

  69. Feed them. I have a truce with the squirrels. I feed them plenty of seeds and nuts in exchange for them not touching my garden. Idk if they understood the terms when I explained it to them, but me providing enough food around the trees they hang out in has been enough for them to stay away from my beds.

  70. They're annoying little bastards, that's for sure. Smart too. Our first year gardening we had this problem and nothing seemed to work. We finally bought a no kill trap. The first day we set it out, I came home to two very dead squirrels. They had given themselves tiny heart attacks and were clutching the bars with horrible expressions on their faces. While this was awful, we had no squirrels return to the garden for two seasons.

  71. You're probably not dealing with squirrels, you're culprit is more likely to be raccoons. BUT a solution for both is putting up a bird feeder.

  72. This is super interesting to me, mainly because this does seem to happen only at night which is why I wasn't 100% sure it was squirrels, but I also thought maybe they were doing it in the morning before I was awake.

  73. Scare them! Lmao. It actually worked for me. Every time I saw a squirrel near my beds I would scare them, and chase a little. If they stopped to look back i threw stones near them 😂 They didn’t like it but I think they actually learned to stay away and now they don’t come near the beds

  74. cats, dogs, rifle. I have seen people put chicken wire down over the beds, and let the plants grow through the wire. The animals can't get through the wire and the plants just grow through the holes. Downside is that if you have established plants, this would be very difficult to do.

  75. A thin layer of cayenne pepper. They sniff while they dig, so they REALLY don't like digging if it smells like cayenne pepper.

  76. We grew habaneros and jalapeños, and the squirrels and mice would just chew them off the vines before they were ripe, and would leave them untouched.

  77. I sprinkle pepper, but that only sort of worked last year. So this year I've been throwing kitchen scraps on the hill behind my garden and that has kept them out! Bunnies too. If they're full I guess they don't bother to come attack my garden.

  78. I've made little (about 8" diameter) cones out of chicken wire to protect any plants I particularly care about, once they get big enough to outgrow their cages it's not an issue

  79. You can try setting up a feed for your pests away from your garden and see if that helps. Just an Idea. Never tried it but seems like both parties could be happy.

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